It seems as if the doors are closed to a couple with little or no experience.
Why is that?
My wife and I have been posting ads on various swing sites for a while now and haven't been lucky enough to find a nice couple or single female to hook up with.
Is it that swingers don't want to "waste their time" breaking in newbies or what?
We've chatted with a single female who blew us off and a couple of couples who have done the same.
We would just love to find a couple or single female who we can actually hook up with. How are you supposed to "enjoy the lifestyle" when the lifestyle won't enjoy you?
Why is that?
My wife and I have been posting ads on various swing sites for a while now and haven't been lucky enough to find a nice couple or single female to hook up with.
Is it that swingers don't want to "waste their time" breaking in newbies or what?
We've chatted with a single female who blew us off and a couple of couples who have done the same.
We would just love to find a couple or single female who we can actually hook up with. How are you supposed to "enjoy the lifestyle" when the lifestyle won't enjoy you?
I would say that yes in a sence you are correct niyuor statment. That people don't want to take the time to help newbies out. This is mainly becaue many newbies are cool with the idea of swinging but when it come right down another man fucking your wife or your hubby fucking another woman bad things beging to happen often.
Jelousy is a big BIG problem with newbies.
I/we have brought several newbies into the lifestlye helped them along the way so to speak. I mean hell none of them were virgins just need to learn some ropes and needed to learn that they could have an undieing trust for each other.
Often a jelouse bone arries when a nwe guy come along and make her toes curl ina way that you either have never done or haven't been able to do ina while. This is usually an error in the thought procces that she all of a sudden is either going to leave me for him, os she is somehow all of a sudden in love with this guy. Yes she shouldlove the feel the and enjoy it completely without giult. However misconceptions lead new couple down the wrong road.
If you where closer to us We would ove to help you get yuo journey started and hopefully off to a great start. This is almost imposible as we do live so far away.
I would have oe word of caution for you . Dip your toes in the pool and then test each others temp. Then wade in the pool and check your temp again. But under no circunstances should you jump right in there with both feet.
The freedom that comes from swinging isnt the act of swinging itself it is the complete trust that you feel for each other. Swinging is not so you can go out and fuck whoever when ever. It is however giving the person that you love the freedom and the choice to go out in the play ground and choose difernent playmates, much like one chooses new team mates on theball field each day in school. So that they can enjoy themselves completely with out shame and with out guilt in turn your onw freendom is dirived from giving freely.
At least this is how it has been for us.
Stlering
Jelousy is a big BIG problem with newbies.
I/we have brought several newbies into the lifestlye helped them along the way so to speak. I mean hell none of them were virgins just need to learn some ropes and needed to learn that they could have an undieing trust for each other.
Often a jelouse bone arries when a nwe guy come along and make her toes curl ina way that you either have never done or haven't been able to do ina while. This is usually an error in the thought procces that she all of a sudden is either going to leave me for him, os she is somehow all of a sudden in love with this guy. Yes she shouldlove the feel the and enjoy it completely without giult. However misconceptions lead new couple down the wrong road.
If you where closer to us We would ove to help you get yuo journey started and hopefully off to a great start. This is almost imposible as we do live so far away.
I would have oe word of caution for you . Dip your toes in the pool and then test each others temp. Then wade in the pool and check your temp again. But under no circunstances should you jump right in there with both feet.
The freedom that comes from swinging isnt the act of swinging itself it is the complete trust that you feel for each other. Swinging is not so you can go out and fuck whoever when ever. It is however giving the person that you love the freedom and the choice to go out in the play ground and choose difernent playmates, much like one chooses new team mates on theball field each day in school. So that they can enjoy themselves completely with out shame and with out guilt in turn your onw freendom is dirived from giving freely.
At least this is how it has been for us.
Stlering
I'm sorry you havent had very much luck so far. My advice, hang in there. Finding the "right" couple isnt as easy as it seems. We have been in the lifestyle for almost a year and have only hooked up with one couple, one single guy and one single girl.
Honestly, its mostly just that most of us are busy, have families and careers to juggle and it takes some planning and timing to be able to meet up.
Also, from our experience, single girls are in high demand so it seems to take more work to land one (LOL).
Be patient and you will find what you are looking for. Alot of times, it seems like someone is blowing you off when in reality, they are just really busy.
Hugs,
Jennie
Honestly, its mostly just that most of us are busy, have families and careers to juggle and it takes some planning and timing to be able to meet up.
Also, from our experience, single girls are in high demand so it seems to take more work to land one (LOL).
Be patient and you will find what you are looking for. Alot of times, it seems like someone is blowing you off when in reality, they are just really busy.
Hugs,
Jennie
what titsandtats said is also very true. Don't give up and yes people are very very busy.
Just a couple of quick responses....
Sometimes couples just starting into lifestyles feel that they are being shut out, but look at the impression you give off before you become too frustrated. We have often run into what we call the tease... couples who give all the signals that they want to get involved, then go into panic mode when you show up and scream they arent ready yet. We dont blame couples for wanting to take things slow, or step at a time... but make sure the signals you give are the right ones.
Keep in mind how long you dated before you married. How many girl or boy friends did you go through to find your mate. Now consider that the both of you have to find a couple that you are compatible with again.. only together and not just separately. For alot of people, intimacy isnt something given away to just anyone and everyone... so you have to find people you have attraction to. (That works both ways). There is an old saying... something to the effect... there is a saddle for every donkey and a donkey for every saddle. With patience and the right attitude, you will soon find alot of couples that will happily open their doors to you. Just hang in there... dont be afraid to socialize, and keep your skin thick.
Cyn and Kev.
Sometimes couples just starting into lifestyles feel that they are being shut out, but look at the impression you give off before you become too frustrated. We have often run into what we call the tease... couples who give all the signals that they want to get involved, then go into panic mode when you show up and scream they arent ready yet. We dont blame couples for wanting to take things slow, or step at a time... but make sure the signals you give are the right ones.
Keep in mind how long you dated before you married. How many girl or boy friends did you go through to find your mate. Now consider that the both of you have to find a couple that you are compatible with again.. only together and not just separately. For alot of people, intimacy isnt something given away to just anyone and everyone... so you have to find people you have attraction to. (That works both ways). There is an old saying... something to the effect... there is a saddle for every donkey and a donkey for every saddle. With patience and the right attitude, you will soon find alot of couples that will happily open their doors to you. Just hang in there... dont be afraid to socialize, and keep your skin thick.
Cyn and Kev.
Well said tncpl. Bravo!
Alot of cpls have had bad experiences with "Newbie" Cpls this makes them tend to shy away from meeting with any more newbies BUT if everyone steps and takes a look we were ALL newbies at some point so just hang in there you will find a cpl like us who are still willing to meet with "Newbies" and yes we have had a cpl of bad experiences with newbies but as longas you are up front and honest with a cpl of what you BOTH are looking for and we can't sress enough what you BOTH are looking for! Too many times one or the other ends up "Dragging" the better half into something he/she is not ready for and that leads to trouble in the end. Alot of times newbie cpls say "looking for cpl with bi female and when you meet and finally get private time then and only then does the newbie cpl say "oh we only want to play with her" this is why cpls ten to shy away from the "NEWBIES" good luck hope you find what you are looking for toobad you live so far away we would be gald to meet you over a drink in the meantime check out our swingular group "Southern Skibums Couples" Never know you may find someone in our group.
Norm&Sharon
Norm&Sharon