k, I have a friend who found porn on her husband's computer. In this case, she's not a swinger, and she's actually gorgeous, but doesn't quite have the body she used to because of pregnancy and a couple of C-sections. Huge body image issues, always had them, had an eating disorder in high school because of it. She goes to talk to her husband (only been married 6 weeks) and then he locks his computer so she can't get on it anymore. They aren't swingers, but she's not a prude either.
Thoughts? Anyone?
Thoughts? Anyone?
Women...ya can't live with them...pass the beer nuts!
I'm only JOKING!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm only JOKING!!!!!!!!!!!
it's ok, as long as you can tell me the source of that quote, I'll let you pass 
JEFFSMITH1972 wrote:
That's easy...Norm from Cheers! Sorry, don't know the episode number at the top of my head...but hey...it IS a CLASSIC!
There's an old joke "My wife buys me Playboy so I can look at places I ain't ever going to get to visit". Seems porn on the computer falls in a similar category. He isn't going to quit looking at porn on the computer so he locks it up to save further fights, makes sense to me. While she may not be a prude, she obviously felt threatened enough to make it a major issue. He can quit looking at it (doubtful), try to hide it better on a different computer (maybe), or lock his down. Seems he made the reasonable choice.
Communication here is key. But even guys that are married to the hottest chicks on earth still look at porn and sometimes cheat. That's why this lifestyle works so well for a lot of people, you have a great relationship with your spouse and get to play with others too.
Hey Jeff:
With so little information given us you actually expect a decent answer? If you were to tell us your balls hurt and ask us what you should you might get a better answer.
BWTF ask and ye shall be given.
Let us see, You say she has already had a couple of C-sections, poor body image, and what else? How long have they been together and what about him? Is this Kiddy porn? Sounds like he is a shit head and has to hide what he is doing because there are control issues. If they have been married only 6 weeks and this is how they take care of each other then they might as well get out and quit now.
Aren
With so little information given us you actually expect a decent answer? If you were to tell us your balls hurt and ask us what you should you might get a better answer.
BWTF ask and ye shall be given.
Let us see, You say she has already had a couple of C-sections, poor body image, and what else? How long have they been together and what about him? Is this Kiddy porn? Sounds like he is a shit head and has to hide what he is doing because there are control issues. If they have been married only 6 weeks and this is how they take care of each other then they might as well get out and quit now.
Aren
I consider it brain storming With so little information I already have a ton of different answers for my brain to pick and mull over.[quote=SUGARSANDSPICE] Aren
I think if she was told all of her life that porn was bad. We have lots of influences that tell us its bad and make up things like it can destroy a marriage. Which it can based on her view to the situation. However with him being sneaky that is not good and will only hinder a closeness they need to grow for a couple to last. Being honest would have been a better approach for a women. Men are more instinctive then thoughtful they usually think of the best approach after then before.
Its the venus and mars effect!!!
He will always have a porn issue not because he is dirty but because he is a man. She will always have her issues too. So seeing it this way may help them to see each others side!!!
Its the venus and mars effect!!!
He will always have a porn issue not because he is dirty but because he is a man. She will always have her issues too. So seeing it this way may help them to see each others side!!!
i would have to say that if they dont watch porn together and masturbate in front of each other then theres a problem,
CHANDA wrote:
Why can't couples be honest with each other BEFORE they make commitments!? Isn't that what dating is for? To get to know each other and their likes/dislikes?? We've never understood that. Honesty is the best policy. Like our mom's used to say "Secrets don't make friends!" Sorry for the rant
No, I definitely agree with you on this one. I think you should both know the good and bad of each other before you decide to get married. I can't believe how many things people find out about each other AFTER the fact. "oh, you get severe bipolar disorder that makes you want to cut off penises and feed them to dogs? Look at this, 3 years of marriage, and everyday is a treasure trove of new knowledge!"
HOTFIRELOVERS wrote:
I think if she was told all of her life that porn was bad. We have lots of influences that tell us its bad
And yeah, I wish there were more sources saying it was ok, and didn't lead to rape or violence. The problem is the anti-porn people seem like they're more vehement. I saw an interview where it was Ms. Anti-Porn and Ms. Porn Star. Ms Porn Star was much more civil in her arguments, but Ms Anti-Porn had to yell and shout and seemed like she was making up facts.
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:
You should offer to fuck her and let him record it. Watch the movie together, the three of you. She will see how hot she is. Make sure you and her husband slather on the compliments. She accepts her body and his interest in porn and you get laid. In 90 days, when she is now wearing next to nothing to the grocery store and actually gets thrown out of Harmon's for what she did with the produce not to mention the produce manager and, wallah, you have a sex goddess. At that point suggest that they set up their own hot wife porn site. Offer to be the first film. Now the husband has free access to porn. She is turning herself inside out with orgasms. They have extra income and you get laid. Pass the beer nuts!
hey are you talking about me lol........Jk Sounds like a story I know well but I never cared that he loved porn just love the sex hehehe
JEFFSMITH1972 wrote:HOTFIRELOVERS wrote:
I think if she was told all of her life that porn was bad. We have lots of influences that tell us its bad
And yeah, I wish there were more sources saying it was ok, and didn't lead to rape or violence. The problem is the anti-porn people seem like they're more vehement. I saw an interview where it was Ms. Anti-Porn and Ms. Porn Star. Ms Porn Star was much more civil in her arguments, but Ms Anti-Porn had to yell and shout and seemed like she was making up facts.
Jeff, I would love to watch this video. Might there be a link for it? Cheers!
Here is the real problem that no one has even mentioned. She is not happy with her looks so that means that she is not in the mood for sex. When a woman is unhappy with the way she looks then she does not want sex, and when she has said NO not tonight to him so many times, or when he shows interest she doesn't. He now has turned to porn and masturbation for the sake of arguing or begging. So now she has this idea in her head that oh he doesn't want me, he must think I am not attractive anymore cause he is looking at porn and masturbating. Well she needs to take a look at her inner self and remember one thing. He obviously didn't marry her based on looks alone cause I am sure that she didn't get the 2 C sections in just 6 weeks. So that means that she had that body when he married her and he loved her and like the way she look enough to marry her. So no matter how she looks she needs to remember that he liked it so don't say NO to sex if he wants it and also try to initiate it more.
I know these things cause we have been there and done that.
I know these things cause we have been there and done that.
Nothing wrong with watching porn, but if they've only been married 6 weeks and already hiding things from each other, I would have to give serious consideration to ending the marriage now before it gets complicated.
People with "huge issues" shouldn't marry.
I agree with nearly every comment made here, I have been married once before and should not have drug out the failed marriage for so long on the first try. My biggest problem with my first marriage was lack of communication and willingness to compromise by one or both of us.
My best friend and wife dated for several years been married for 2 years in a couple months. In the first few months of dating we sat down and threw the cards on the table, we each wrote a list of can and cannot live with items. We agreed on 80-90% of the items and compromised on the few that we did not agree on and found a middle ground.
Therapy is awesome and we sought it out prior to having any major issues. We have seen a therapist along with purchasing multiple seminars by marriage councilors on
My best friend and wife dated for several years been married for 2 years in a couple months. In the first few months of dating we sat down and threw the cards on the table, we each wrote a list of can and cannot live with items. We agreed on 80-90% of the items and compromised on the few that we did not agree on and found a middle ground.
Therapy is awesome and we sought it out prior to having any major issues. We have seen a therapist along with purchasing multiple seminars by marriage councilors on
The ol adage comes to mind....You can look at the menu just not order. Vanilla lifers that is. Ask if she ever closes her eyes when her significant other is fucking her...Ask her to be honest with herself, and I am sure she will get it...
ANDRAYWAY_SHANAYNAY...
Nicely said! Always keep negative emotion out of the conversation. Communication between partners is key to a healthy relationship.
I see your eyes have been wandering lately. What can I do for you to make sure your eyes come back to me?
Nicely said! Always keep negative emotion out of the conversation. Communication between partners is key to a healthy relationship.
JANDY275 wrote:
I think MRS Jandy was the only woman I have ever heard of that was watching porn in the labor room while she was waiting to give birth.
There needs to be more of this! I think we should start a group MWDWPWIL Mothers Who Demand to Watch Porn While in Labor. The Hospitals must know about this!
CHANDA wrote:
Why can't couples be honest with each other BEFORE they make commitments!? Isn't that what dating is for? To get to know each other and their likes/dislikes?? We've never understood that. Honesty is the best policy. Like our mom's used to say "Secrets don't make friends!"
Sorry for the rant
Ok time to be honest, we want to have sex with you....lol
Bill Cosby once said, (having to do with old men not getting sex anymore going to strip clubs and watching girls take their clothes off): "If you are hungry, you dont stand around watching a man cook a steak, the thing to do is move away." SOO... if you are horney and not getting any, dont make matters worse by lusting after what you cant have.
I really think this is a great subject for Dr. Ruth....
I really think this is a great subject for Dr. Ruth....
Dr. Ruth? Dr. Drew? Bring out old Kinsey?
WOWMAMA69 wrote:
Nothing wrong with watching porn, but if they've only been married 6 weeks and already hiding things from each other, I would have to give serious consideration to ending the marriage now before it gets complicated.
I agree completely. A marriage is something that communication and openness is a must. There should be no secrets, no unknown passwords ect. We know everything on both sides. There was a time when because of the way one or the other was raised things were considered "taboo" and there were potential issues. But once it was realized these "taboo" things really were okay the relationship just blossomed.
When it comes to porn I dont care if the Mr looks, or even enjoys himself a little. I just let it be known that if it ever comes to a time where he has to watch porn to "prep" himself to be with me then we will have an issue. But we are no where near that
I had a similar problem with my ex husband only his sex drive was a lot lower than mine and would always say no and it really screwed my self esteem after being divorced for 2 yrs i still have issues with my self esteem. I would suggest counseling before calling it quites and if that doesnt work then maybe it would be best for them to seperate. That doesnt mean they dont love each other just that they want and need different things. My ex is now one of my best friends and we get along much better since the divorce and can be better parents to our child
If you turn out to be the recipient of your spouse being turned on by watching porn - then what's the issue?
Im going with help them make a movie sounds like the best advice so far
Im going with help them make a movie sounds like the best advice so far
if I was her, i'd be pissed off at him for locking the computer... that's just selfish and he should share his porn with her, not keep it just for himself. lol!
lol, why? there could be a whole host of reasons. Probably because she just needed a male perspective to understand it. And probably because it seems like a lot of women need a good guy friend to come to destress or discuss things with, who is 1) not their lover 2) not a girl. Hell, I even have a good lesbian friend who comes to me for backup stress relief when her lover isn't close by. It's......yeah....
JEFFSMITH1972 wrote:
lol, why? there could be a whole host of reasons. Probably because she just needed a male perspective to understand it. And probably because it seems like a lot of women need a good guy friend to come to destress or discuss things with, who is 1) not their lover 2) not a girl. Hell, I even have a good lesbian friend who comes to me for backup stress relief when her lover isn't close by. It's......yeah....
That's because sorry to say - girls will judge other girls. Venting to a guy allows them to 1)get another point of view that she knows won't judge them the same way a girl will 2)maybe if this guy agrees might speak to her husband about it 3)might give her insight into a world women don't understand 4)... here's the scary part - she might want some on the side with the original poster of this thread.
It's all about trust and communications, in marriage, in work, etc. If it's there you are golden, if it's not, work it out until it is or move on.
BUNNYCOUPLE2 wrote:
4)... here's the scary part - she might want some on the side with the original poster of this thread.
Possible, but doubtful. I agree with the rest of what you said about openness and acceptance being needed in marriage, and thank you for the ego boost
I know I'm a bit late with this. I have to agree with WEWANTU24US and WOWMAM69. If he can't convince his wife to be ok with porn, and he locked his computer to keep it, then the two are opposites and should not be together. I was married for 4 years to a woman who WAS a prude, and very controling. She didn't even like me talking about other women, even when there was no attraction there at all! She locked down the computer so I couldn't see my porn, or even contact friends online. Like I said, I am divorced now and, sadly, happier than ever. I agree it is unlikely he will stop looking at porn. If she cannot be ok with porn, or better yet, swinging, then they should probably sepperate.
porn & marriage
porn & marriage
goes together like a babe 'n' carriage
porn & marriage
goes together like a babe 'n' carriage
wowwww....... I may be off in left field on this....do your "friends" have knowledge of you soliciting input from strangers on a problem within their marriage?......smells like a breach of personal privacy from a person w/ way too much idle time........and starving for drama involvement
DEVIANTTONGUE wrote:
wowwww....... I may be off in left field on this....do your "friends" have knowledge of you soliciting input from strangers on a problem within their marriage?......smells like a breach of personal privacy from a person w/ way too much idle time........and starving for drama involvement
lol....well, considering I never mentioned who they are, where they live, how I know them, their ages, race, religion, height, creed, nationality, names, hair color, or anything else about them, how will people find out who the hell I'm talking about?
And how in the world does THIS count as drama? Seriously.
WOWMAMA69 wrote:
Nothing wrong with watching porn, but if they've only been married 6 wTXeeks and already hiding things from each other, I would have to give serious consideration to ending the marriage now before it gets complicated.
This the problem with so many relationships. You don't throw in the towel 6 weeks into it. Communication, like everything else in a relationship is learned over time, practice, experience, and patience. It's another one of the many trials a couple experiences and has to work to improve. All of you who said to walk away now are probably on their second or third marriage so do not give the couple in question that terrible advice. As one poster said, you really need to elaborate on what the issue is. All you said was porn, self image issues, locked computer, what do you think?
Talking to each other openly and honestly is key. Not being afraid to speak your mind and communicate what is important and why. Just make sure you tell them to make an effort and work on their differences. Relationships take work. All you quitters have no chance.
Every house party I've ever attended, and every club I've gone to has porn playing on at least 1 television or screen.
There's a perfectly good reason why they do that.
But I have NO fucking idea what it is.
There's a perfectly good reason why they do that.
But I have NO fucking idea what it is.
Grow up, and leave your married friends work out problems on their own .......its none of your fucking business.......
We watch porn together all the time, when we are in the mood. We have various materials, bisexual, straight, lesbian, etc. And from time to time make our own too. Porn can strengthen a relationship or if everyone involved isn't on the same page, it can tear them apart too.