As sarcastic as our profile reads we are NOT really mean people and HATE to hurt other's feelings. Having said that, we often find it difficult to walk the fine line between being nice, polite, and social with other people when we do not actually feel an attraction to them. This is most annoying when at a party or meet and greet and you are actually face to face with someone you don't really care to play with. We were wondering how you guys handle those situations where you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but also don't want to encourage someone you just aren't attracted to. Do you at some point just say honestly that while they are nice it just ain't gonna happen? Do you make some sort of lame excuse and beat a hasty retreat hoping they will get the hint? Do you move on to another couple that you are attracted to and look annoyed when the first couple follows you around all night. Of course some people just won't take a hint or take "no" for an answer and for those you DO have to be blunt. So what techniques do y'all use in situations like this? How do you be nice to others without necessarily encouraging them?
TIA
Evildoers
TIA
Evildoers
Have to agree with the posts here. It is important to be honest so that no one feels led on. Sometimes people fall off the earth after that, but that's their choice, not yours. Other times you can make great friends. We don't mind the idea of people not being interested so long as they can be civil about saying so. It really is amazing how in the lifestyle most everything comes down to honesty and good communication.
I'd have to say that the best ones I can think of say once "I'm sorry, I really like talking with you, but you're not the type I fuck". Don't feel like you have to hammer it home repeatedly, unless we ask you again.
I think most folks fall into four general categories:
On the top of the list is the smallest group. They are the trophy couple who go to a party to be seen and expect to be propositioned and chased by everyone. This couple has the attitude that they are simply better than almost all. As they get older they attempt to attract and mingle with the younger crowd. They often brag that they look much younger than they actually are. They believe that everyone wants to have sex with them and can not figure out why when you are not interested. These folks will turn on you with out hesitation and do their best to put you down.
Then we have the hunters. This group is often confused with single males because males single or married make up the largest subset of this group. These are the folks that go to a party or M&G and expect to find a new trophy to take home. They are often classified by their bag the bitch attitude. They often set their goal on a specific target and expect to add her or them to their collection. These are the ones that will always get pissed off when they find out that you are not interested in them.
Next on the list are the fishers. These are generally the folks that complain the loudest about the party it
On the top of the list is the smallest group. They are the trophy couple who go to a party to be seen and expect to be propositioned and chased by everyone. This couple has the attitude that they are simply better than almost all. As they get older they attempt to attract and mingle with the younger crowd. They often brag that they look much younger than they actually are. They believe that everyone wants to have sex with them and can not figure out why when you are not interested. These folks will turn on you with out hesitation and do their best to put you down.
Then we have the hunters. This group is often confused with single males because males single or married make up the largest subset of this group. These are the folks that go to a party or M&G and expect to find a new trophy to take home. They are often classified by their bag the bitch attitude. They often set their goal on a specific target and expect to add her or them to their collection. These are the ones that will always get pissed off when they find out that you are not interested in them.
Next on the list are the fishers. These are generally the folks that complain the loudest about the party it
JANDY275 wrote:SCJ47 wrote:
I just don my grossly oversized spiked strap-on and watch them run; and/or send them pics with it on explaining in detail what I want to do to them with it. Works like a charm.
I don't know...we are kind of freaky. that might be a turn on :P
Like that strap from the movie Se7en?
[quote=EVILDOERS] we often find it difficult to walk the fine line between being nice, polite, and social with other people when we do not actually feel an attraction to them.
Do you not have any vanilla friends who you don't have any interest in playing with? Try treating the Lifestyle folks you're not sexually attracted to in the same way.
Do you at some point just say honestly that while they are nice it just ain't gonna happen?
Why not? EVERYONE has heard rejection at some point in their life, so this won't be a first. If it IS a first - so be it. Everyone has to learn sometime. Just be polite.
Do you make some sort of lame excuse and beat a hasty retreat hoping they will get the hint? Do you move on to another couple that you are attracted to and look annoyed when the first couple follows you around all night. Of course some people just won't take a hint or take "no" for an answer and for those you DO have to be blunt.
Anyone/everyone associated with the Lifestyle is supposed to know what the word "NO" means. If they don't - you are 100% within your rights to explain it to them. If they still don't get it, and you're somewhere that has an actual "host", don't be bashful - rat them out to mom
So what techniques do y'all use in situations like this? How do you be nice to others without necessarily encouraging them?
Seriously? I mean, you don't know how to interact with others and carry on a conversation without having them believe you want to hop in the sack with them?
Politeness is NEVER innapropriate!
However, when ALL else fails, and you realize you are dealing with certifiable, card-carrying jerks - THEN - and only then - is it acceptable to treat them like jerks.
Keep one thing in mind, though: You may be dealing with newbies who are the nicest, sweetest people you will ever meet in your life - they just don't know the rules of engagement yet.
Do you not have any vanilla friends who you don't have any interest in playing with? Try treating the Lifestyle folks you're not sexually attracted to in the same way.
Do you at some point just say honestly that while they are nice it just ain't gonna happen?
Why not? EVERYONE has heard rejection at some point in their life, so this won't be a first. If it IS a first - so be it. Everyone has to learn sometime. Just be polite.
Do you make some sort of lame excuse and beat a hasty retreat hoping they will get the hint? Do you move on to another couple that you are attracted to and look annoyed when the first couple follows you around all night. Of course some people just won't take a hint or take "no" for an answer and for those you DO have to be blunt.
Anyone/everyone associated with the Lifestyle is supposed to know what the word "NO" means. If they don't - you are 100% within your rights to explain it to them. If they still don't get it, and you're somewhere that has an actual "host", don't be bashful - rat them out to mom
So what techniques do y'all use in situations like this? How do you be nice to others without necessarily encouraging them?
Seriously? I mean, you don't know how to interact with others and carry on a conversation without having them believe you want to hop in the sack with them?
Politeness is NEVER innapropriate!
However, when ALL else fails, and you realize you are dealing with certifiable, card-carrying jerks - THEN - and only then - is it acceptable to treat them like jerks.
Keep one thing in mind, though: You may be dealing with newbies who are the nicest, sweetest people you will ever meet in your life - they just don't know the rules of engagement yet.
We just pretend that we don't speak English....or invite them to join our downline in Amway.
Trying to stick to the OP intent here.
[quote=CARRIERMANANDGEEKGIRL][quote=EVILDOERS] we often find it difficult to walk the fine line between being nice, polite, and social with other people when we do not actually feel an attraction to them. If we had a week at desires it would be easier to be nice and talk with everyone. However adult hours are not easy to come by so we do find this line hard. My wife will talk with a friendly person or couple the whole night. Even if the couple is in some committed deal. I have been working
on getting her to direct her time on couples she can see us doing something mor. Or limit the time she spends and move along.
Do you at some point just say honestly that while they are nice it just ain't gonna happen?
We only feel this is needed it they ask us if we want to get a room. At that time you just have to say something and it is never easy.
Do you make some sort of lame excuse and beat a hasty retreat hoping they will get the hint? Do you move on to another couple that you are attracted to and look annoyed when the first couple follows you around all night. Of course some people just won't take a hint or take "no" for an answer and for those you DO have to be blunt.
This is one method that does seem to work. It is easier if you do it early on in the timeline like the first 5 mins or less.
So what techniques do y'all use in situations like this? How do you be nice to others without necessarily encouraging them?
Seriously? I mean, you don't know how to interact with others and carry on a conversation without having them believe you want to hop in the sack with them?
Its not that easy.. How do you walk over to a couple and start to talk to them at a swingers party and not have them think you want the Mor?
[quote=CARRIERMANANDGEEKGIRL][quote=EVILDOERS] we often find it difficult to walk the fine line between being nice, polite, and social with other people when we do not actually feel an attraction to them. If we had a week at desires it would be easier to be nice and talk with everyone. However adult hours are not easy to come by so we do find this line hard. My wife will talk with a friendly person or couple the whole night. Even if the couple is in some committed deal. I have been working
on getting her to direct her time on couples she can see us doing something mor. Or limit the time she spends and move along.
Do you at some point just say honestly that while they are nice it just ain't gonna happen?
We only feel this is needed it they ask us if we want to get a room. At that time you just have to say something and it is never easy.
Do you make some sort of lame excuse and beat a hasty retreat hoping they will get the hint? Do you move on to another couple that you are attracted to and look annoyed when the first couple follows you around all night. Of course some people just won't take a hint or take "no" for an answer and for those you DO have to be blunt.
This is one method that does seem to work. It is easier if you do it early on in the timeline like the first 5 mins or less.
So what techniques do y'all use in situations like this? How do you be nice to others without necessarily encouraging them?
Seriously? I mean, you don't know how to interact with others and carry on a conversation without having them believe you want to hop in the sack with them?
Its not that easy.. How do you walk over to a couple and start to talk to them at a swingers party and not have them think you want the Mor?
I find it difficult to start up a conversation with people I do not know simply because so many think that sex is the only reason for you come over. I find that many others on here are the same way.
Instead of hunting sex give someone new ten minutes of your time. You might not want to take them to bed but the time you spend might benefit you just the same. The conversation is easily stopped by saying I see someone I need to talk to. Would you excuse us please?
I was taught by my parents to be polite to everyone and finding friends is often better than sex in the long run. Sometimes I forget that lesson but try not to.
I have been going to meet and greets for a little over 3 years and I have never even considered taking someone home with me the first time we meet. I see nothing wrong with doing that but it
Instead of hunting sex give someone new ten minutes of your time. You might not want to take them to bed but the time you spend might benefit you just the same. The conversation is easily stopped by saying I see someone I need to talk to. Would you excuse us please?
I was taught by my parents to be polite to everyone and finding friends is often better than sex in the long run. Sometimes I forget that lesson but try not to.
I have been going to meet and greets for a little over 3 years and I have never even considered taking someone home with me the first time we meet. I see nothing wrong with doing that but it
An oozing sore and projectile vomting usually works too. If all else fails look up, point, and yell "SQUIRREL"! (then run away really fast)
Oh, and T95T...that's exactly what I was going for. ;-)