Well we attended a house party last night that we thought was going to be a couples get together. After a little while, lo and behold, the single males start showing up. It amazed both of us at how quickly they gravitate to all the females in the place, without any regard for the women, or the partner they came with.
We've been to parties where the single male was required to bring a date, but have also seen them ditch the date as soon as they get in the door.
We realize not all single guys act this way, but it seems that a very large portion of them do. With guys like these out there, its no wonder the single guy gets a bad rep. The party last night sure soured us.
We've decided its couples only get togethers for us. If single guys start showing up, we're gone. They're just not worth the hassle.
We've been to parties where the single male was required to bring a date, but have also seen them ditch the date as soon as they get in the door.
We realize not all single guys act this way, but it seems that a very large portion of them do. With guys like these out there, its no wonder the single guy gets a bad rep. The party last night sure soured us.
We've decided its couples only get togethers for us. If single guys start showing up, we're gone. They're just not worth the hassle.
I myself can say this WOWMAMA69,,,
Dont get too soured at attending the gatherings. For the most part ppl here on SWINGULAR are good ppl. I have found that here at SWING, is much better than the gatherings from AFF.
I have noticed, on occasions, that even if you're a married man or a single man with a date you get ignored. By both men and women who only want to talk & flirt with the lady I'm with. I have never bothered with the demographics of "single men / lady, or married couple". I use the time to judge & decide by the ppl themselves on who I would further associate with, not the group they fall in.
For my time here, I love it. I have met some very nice ppl, a wonderful time.
Dont get too soured at attending the gatherings. For the most part ppl here on SWINGULAR are good ppl. I have found that here at SWING, is much better than the gatherings from AFF.
I have noticed, on occasions, that even if you're a married man or a single man with a date you get ignored. By both men and women who only want to talk & flirt with the lady I'm with. I have never bothered with the demographics of "single men / lady, or married couple". I use the time to judge & decide by the ppl themselves on who I would further associate with, not the group they fall in.
For my time here, I love it. I have met some very nice ppl, a wonderful time.
Before all the SINGLE MALE BASHING ensues, let me just say this...
...there are as many DISRESPECTFUL COUPLES and SINGLE WOMEN out there as well! In one night alone at a local m/g, Candy was touched inappropriately by both a married man from a couple and a single male. This soured our expectation of m/g's so we don't go to them anymore. Of course "HOUSE PARTIES" are somewhat different. Most of them are "Take your clothes off at the door and find ANYONE to play with" types and others which are a little more organized where the only playing/nudity are behind closed doors. The important thing to remember is which one of the above two are you going to be attending? Know this BEFOREHAND. This LS offers something for everyone.
Is it just us or is the "Single Male" the escape goat in the LS or what? It's so easy to blame them for anything! What's next? Finding someone on the site complaining about a headache and blaming it on a single male somehow? LOL! I would think that in this LS, if you've been around a while, you've all had your horror stories about anything the LS has to offer. Bad single males. Bad couples. Bad single females? OK, does the last one exist? LOL!
Everyone on here has very good points...especially the "how your dumbass grew up" portion. That is so TRUE in so many ways. Yet we live in a age where all our children are missing out on all the "old school social skills"...such as talking face to face with people. God forbid if they don't have a CELL PHONE to text with? LOL! We are finding out that not only single males are doing this, but so are the couples as well. Just remember to look at your ownself in the mirror first. We can chalk this thread up to a typical "horror story" in the lifestyle. As all "hosts" of house parties are the "focal point", you had every right to go tell them you were being uncomfortable. They have the overall "responsibility" that ALL their guests are treated with respect. Of course the "PERFECT ORGY" house parties (the ones where EVERYONE finds EVERYONE attractive and are willing to play with them) are somewhat of a pipedream or so we've been told. Guess with being kinda new to the LS ourselves, we're going to keep searching for that PERFECT INVITE LIST and have our own house party ourselves. This would be prearranged, well organized ahead of time so there aren't no SUPRISES for anyone. We have been to a very respectable house party where there is only a SET NUMBER of guests....and that IS IT! Everyone is given a list of attendee's and you will NOT find anyone there that isn't aleady approved to be on that list. There is a nice mix of people there. Definitely not all Barbie/Ken types and all shapes and sizes. Definitely NOT biased like SOME of the groups on here and I'm not mentioning names because if you've been on here a while, you know EXACTLY who I'm talking about. Sorry, but we really can't stand stuck up, conceited people!!!!!! We put our pants on one leg at a time! We think/feel we are better than NOBODY...that not only goes for this LS but as in LIFE as well. Once again, it goes back to the way you were raised.
So please give our single male brethren a break and deal with them INDIVIDUALLY. There are GOOD ones and BAD ones....just like everything else in life and in the LS.
Damnit...did I write another book again?
I really need to get a life. LOL!
...there are as many DISRESPECTFUL COUPLES and SINGLE WOMEN out there as well! In one night alone at a local m/g, Candy was touched inappropriately by both a married man from a couple and a single male. This soured our expectation of m/g's so we don't go to them anymore. Of course "HOUSE PARTIES" are somewhat different. Most of them are "Take your clothes off at the door and find ANYONE to play with" types and others which are a little more organized where the only playing/nudity are behind closed doors. The important thing to remember is which one of the above two are you going to be attending? Know this BEFOREHAND. This LS offers something for everyone.
Is it just us or is the "Single Male" the escape goat in the LS or what? It's so easy to blame them for anything! What's next? Finding someone on the site complaining about a headache and blaming it on a single male somehow? LOL! I would think that in this LS, if you've been around a while, you've all had your horror stories about anything the LS has to offer. Bad single males. Bad couples. Bad single females? OK, does the last one exist? LOL!
Everyone on here has very good points...especially the "how your dumbass grew up" portion. That is so TRUE in so many ways. Yet we live in a age where all our children are missing out on all the "old school social skills"...such as talking face to face with people. God forbid if they don't have a CELL PHONE to text with? LOL! We are finding out that not only single males are doing this, but so are the couples as well. Just remember to look at your ownself in the mirror first. We can chalk this thread up to a typical "horror story" in the lifestyle. As all "hosts" of house parties are the "focal point", you had every right to go tell them you were being uncomfortable. They have the overall "responsibility" that ALL their guests are treated with respect. Of course the "PERFECT ORGY" house parties (the ones where EVERYONE finds EVERYONE attractive and are willing to play with them) are somewhat of a pipedream or so we've been told. Guess with being kinda new to the LS ourselves, we're going to keep searching for that PERFECT INVITE LIST and have our own house party ourselves. This would be prearranged, well organized ahead of time so there aren't no SUPRISES for anyone. We have been to a very respectable house party where there is only a SET NUMBER of guests....and that IS IT! Everyone is given a list of attendee's and you will NOT find anyone there that isn't aleady approved to be on that list. There is a nice mix of people there. Definitely not all Barbie/Ken types and all shapes and sizes. Definitely NOT biased like SOME of the groups on here and I'm not mentioning names because if you've been on here a while, you know EXACTLY who I'm talking about. Sorry, but we really can't stand stuck up, conceited people!!!!!! We put our pants on one leg at a time! We think/feel we are better than NOBODY...that not only goes for this LS but as in LIFE as well. Once again, it goes back to the way you were raised.
So please give our single male brethren a break and deal with them INDIVIDUALLY. There are GOOD ones and BAD ones....just like everything else in life and in the LS.
Damnit...did I write another book again?
I really need to get a life. LOL!Thank you for opening the topic. I hope that it will be used shed some insight and not just complain.
In a place like Habits there are vanilla singles that have no clue that swingers congregate there. So there will naturally be more problem in that environment than a private party.
At a house party the only people that should be there are those that are invited by the host and hostess. Every one of the guests should have known the rules or etiquette of this lifestyle. If you had complaints, they should have been addressed last night with the hosts. Evidently the balance you were looking for was not there.
Sadly it is difficult for most singles to figure out how to talk to a swinging couple. There are no schools or training centers to teach this. As a single male, conversation at a vanilla party with a couple is much easier. Most often the men and women separate and we talk with one or the other without expectations on either side. Sometimes conversation is just conversation.
I find that making friends is generally more difficult in this lifestyle because of the sexual expectations of many. I think that you will find a number of the single men, after getting the cold shoulder from many husbands, find it easier to attempt to talk to the women because they lack the skills to talk with both. It is a mistake but it is also part of the learning process.
There is no excuse for rude behavior on the part of the single male but neither is there an excuse for the typical married male attitude. Single males are always and have always been a pariah and dam few couples want them at any party. I came into this lifestyle as a single male looking to make male friends to hang with that would help me understand the rules. I found most of the males were cold and suspicious and difficult to talk with.
I was not looking for women to play with nearly as much as I was looking for a girlfriend that was already in the lifestyle. But I am sure that as far as most were concerned all I wanted to find was their wife
In a place like Habits there are vanilla singles that have no clue that swingers congregate there. So there will naturally be more problem in that environment than a private party.
At a house party the only people that should be there are those that are invited by the host and hostess. Every one of the guests should have known the rules or etiquette of this lifestyle. If you had complaints, they should have been addressed last night with the hosts. Evidently the balance you were looking for was not there.
Sadly it is difficult for most singles to figure out how to talk to a swinging couple. There are no schools or training centers to teach this. As a single male, conversation at a vanilla party with a couple is much easier. Most often the men and women separate and we talk with one or the other without expectations on either side. Sometimes conversation is just conversation.
I find that making friends is generally more difficult in this lifestyle because of the sexual expectations of many. I think that you will find a number of the single men, after getting the cold shoulder from many husbands, find it easier to attempt to talk to the women because they lack the skills to talk with both. It is a mistake but it is also part of the learning process.
There is no excuse for rude behavior on the part of the single male but neither is there an excuse for the typical married male attitude. Single males are always and have always been a pariah and dam few couples want them at any party. I came into this lifestyle as a single male looking to make male friends to hang with that would help me understand the rules. I found most of the males were cold and suspicious and difficult to talk with.
I was not looking for women to play with nearly as much as I was looking for a girlfriend that was already in the lifestyle. But I am sure that as far as most were concerned all I wanted to find was their wife
Shit!
Hey for the record we've had far more issues
with the male half of couples than single guys.
with the male half of couples than single guys.
Keep one thing in mind:
It was your HOSTS who either invited or allowed these particular single men to attend.
Yeah, there are a LOT of jerk single males out there (as well as jerk single females and jerk couples), but it's up to the host to police who comes and who doesn't (no pun intended).
Give credit - AND BLAME - where it's due.
You're eliminating a lot of potential friends (as well as possible playmates) who have done NOTHING to deserve it.
And that's just not fair to them - or you.
Your knee-jerk reaction is understandable, but please think it through before you act on it.
It was your HOSTS who either invited or allowed these particular single men to attend.
Yeah, there are a LOT of jerk single males out there (as well as jerk single females and jerk couples), but it's up to the host to police who comes and who doesn't (no pun intended).
Give credit - AND BLAME - where it's due.
You're eliminating a lot of potential friends (as well as possible playmates) who have done NOTHING to deserve it.
And that's just not fair to them - or you.
Your knee-jerk reaction is understandable, but please think it through before you act on it.