Hi all....
I'm writing this because Mr. Halfbaked and I finally found someone to swing with, and it turned into more...for ALL of us. Well, me and Mr, and the female half of this couple (long story, relationship was on the brink WAY before we got involved, and they broke up shortly after a few encounters). Thing was, I had already become VERY good friends with the female, and they had been a "play alone and together" couple, so we'd had threesomes with just him and just her, so we knew we liked being with just her. And my guy liked her a lot outside the bedroom, too.
Anyway, long story short, we were talking and the subject of polyamory came up (not that we knew that word at the time), because he and i had developed feelings for her, and she'd developed feelings for us. So now, we are a love-triangle in a GOOD way. I am in love with him AND with her, and he is in love with her AND with me, and she is in love with me AND him. We're all in love with each other. So we just kind of made up these rules for our relationship...we have all-together time, and each couple within the triangle also has equal time with just the two. It's been almost a year now, and it's still going strong...We all live apart due to life/economic concerns, but we're thinking about combining households as we plan for this to be a permanent thing. We even want to have a "commitment ceremony" with the three of us, after Mr. Halfbaked and I legally tie the knot (he and she share the same last name, so after he and I get married, we'd all have it).
The thing is, we have not found very many places to meet other people like ourselves, though we know they exist...We figured that maybe someone on HERE had some knowledge, either first- or second-hand, that they'd be willing to share.
We realize that we're taking a chance outing ourselves on here....from the few people in the lifestyle we have told (we finally found a local club), that OUR lifestyle isn't necessarily welcomed. We figured it was worth it to put ourselves out there, since there are *very* few couples on here even close to local, so we wouldn't really be losing out on much. That said, if you're cool with sharing here on the forum, great. If not, and we totally understand, you could PM us...We're really just looking for other people like us....especially if they are swingers, because we still want to swing, too.
Mr. and Misses Halfbaked...or maybe that's 3/4 now, lol ;-)
I'm writing this because Mr. Halfbaked and I finally found someone to swing with, and it turned into more...for ALL of us. Well, me and Mr, and the female half of this couple (long story, relationship was on the brink WAY before we got involved, and they broke up shortly after a few encounters). Thing was, I had already become VERY good friends with the female, and they had been a "play alone and together" couple, so we'd had threesomes with just him and just her, so we knew we liked being with just her. And my guy liked her a lot outside the bedroom, too.
Anyway, long story short, we were talking and the subject of polyamory came up (not that we knew that word at the time), because he and i had developed feelings for her, and she'd developed feelings for us. So now, we are a love-triangle in a GOOD way. I am in love with him AND with her, and he is in love with her AND with me, and she is in love with me AND him. We're all in love with each other. So we just kind of made up these rules for our relationship...we have all-together time, and each couple within the triangle also has equal time with just the two. It's been almost a year now, and it's still going strong...We all live apart due to life/economic concerns, but we're thinking about combining households as we plan for this to be a permanent thing. We even want to have a "commitment ceremony" with the three of us, after Mr. Halfbaked and I legally tie the knot (he and she share the same last name, so after he and I get married, we'd all have it).
The thing is, we have not found very many places to meet other people like ourselves, though we know they exist...We figured that maybe someone on HERE had some knowledge, either first- or second-hand, that they'd be willing to share.
We realize that we're taking a chance outing ourselves on here....from the few people in the lifestyle we have told (we finally found a local club), that OUR lifestyle isn't necessarily welcomed. We figured it was worth it to put ourselves out there, since there are *very* few couples on here even close to local, so we wouldn't really be losing out on much. That said, if you're cool with sharing here on the forum, great. If not, and we totally understand, you could PM us...We're really just looking for other people like us....especially if they are swingers, because we still want to swing, too.
Mr. and Misses Halfbaked...or maybe that's 3/4 now, lol ;-)
TOMNTAMMY wrote:
Getting in to a relationship like that can be fun but dangerous too we have done this before it was fun but short lived if you spent time with one then the other wanted the same amount of time it go crazy good luck and have fun
TomnTammy
We did have some issues with that in the beginning, but we were able to iron them out. We do kinda have a guideline that we try to keep everything as equal as POSSIBLE, given the circumstances (ie he's living out of town right now, while the women live in the same city). Basically, we have as much time as we want all together, but we try to keep the couple time even. So last weekend, Ms HB2 went to visit Mr. HB. So Mr. HB and and Ms. HB1 planned a weekend for the end of the month that had to be rescheduled because of work issues. He had planned to come down for St. Patrick's day anyway, so now he is just coming a day early so Ms. HB1 can have a night alone with him...which to be perfectly honest, is a better move for me (Ms. HB1), financially speaking, because my car is so crappy that I was going to rent for the drive up to his place, lol. This plan has worked out very well once we got the kinks worked out (no pun intended). The two Ms. HBs do have lunch together most Fridays, since we both get off work early, although that is just girl-hangout-time. We usually go to the mall and window shop and stuff. BUT that time doesn't count as our "alone" time. We also get that just as often as each of us gets time alone with the Mr.
We are an equilateral triangle in every sense of the word. When Mr. Halfbaked and I get married, we are also marrying her. In fact, Ms. HB2 would be perfectly willing to marry me instead, and I'd be happy with that, and so would Mr. HB, but we all like Ohio, and want to stay here, where same-sex marriage/domestic partnership/whatever you want to call it is not legal. Ms. HB2 has children from a previous relationship (BEFORE the guy she was with when we met), and they have met us both; we are both planning to have children with Mr. HB, and we will raise them together, though we haven't worked out how we're going to function in public (schools and such). We are actually looking for houses right now.
We are kinda flying by the seats of our collective pants, which is why we decided to post on here, looking for advice if anyone had it. We figured out early on that to handle the jealousy that was bound to come up (as it did, because we're only human), we had to make this as equal as possible. Mr. HB and Ms. HB1 have been together for six years, and Ms. HB2 is less than a year into the relationship...so she had some jealousy issues with how well we knew each other, and such. Ms. HB1 had some jealousy issues with the NRE that was going on with the other two, and Mr. HB was *quite* afraid that the two Misses would decide he wasn't worth the effort and dump him all together. Also, we figured that if we wanted this to last forever (and we do, not that MOST people don't start relationships where marriage is an assumed future with the same goals), we had to recognize that there were FOUR relationships that deserved and required equal attention and care: Mr. and Ms. HB1; Mr. and Ms. HB2, Ms. HB1 and Ms. HB2; and all three of us.
I guess what we're looking for is either someone who has a long-term example of success to show us, so we could ask them how they did/do it (as a lot of newlyweds want to know from long-married couples), OR a place where we could find such people like we found this lovely community of swingers.
P.S. I (Ms. HB1, the one in the pictures) do 99.999% of the posting on here, so when the pronouns switch from "we/us" to "I/me", it is a safe bet that you are hearing from me. If either of the others post, they will identify themselves, too.
Far as I am concerned if someone from this lifestyle look down on you for this, then they are nothing less than a hypocrite. My god really? This is not a religion - at least not yet.
Polyamory can be weird and fun and odd and amazing all at the same time. It's hard to just love one person in this life honestly. But once you throw more people into the mix, feelings definitely get more complex. And it's harder to tell what boundaries are, and whether or not you should stick up for your feelings, or whether or not you're being too selfish with them.
Hello all, Mrs. HB 2 here, adding to what Mrs. HB1 said...this started out as a experiment for me. I am a bi-sexual female, and I have been with women in the past, but never in a relationship with one. Getting to know Mrs. HB1 opened my eyes to the fact that I could be with a woman, and I decided to pursue it. What I wasn't prepared for was the fact that Mr. HB and I would fall for each other too, and like she said, the subject of a polyamorous relationship came up.
I added the brief recap to illustrate that what Mrs, HB1 was saying is totally legit. We are a loving triad, that is looking for more like minded people in our area that we can share some of these same feelings and experiences with. From what I've experienced, it is not accepted, especially when the three of us hold hands at a table, or let Mr. HB walk with both of us on his arm through a shopping mall.
In my experience in this so far, yes, it IS hard to try to manage your emotions and maintain ONE relationship, but in this, I have learned that I have 6 separate relationships:
1) me and Mrs. HB1
2) me and Mr. HB
3) us as a whole
4) us as a family with my children (and any more that come along)
5) me with my children (and the looks and judgement from society)
6) sanity within myself
It's a lot of work, but the rewards of all the love I get from this units outweighs the drama behind it.
Glad for more input!
Mrs. HB2
(sorry, no pics of me here, but trust me...I'm sexy =) )
I added the brief recap to illustrate that what Mrs, HB1 was saying is totally legit. We are a loving triad, that is looking for more like minded people in our area that we can share some of these same feelings and experiences with. From what I've experienced, it is not accepted, especially when the three of us hold hands at a table, or let Mr. HB walk with both of us on his arm through a shopping mall.
In my experience in this so far, yes, it IS hard to try to manage your emotions and maintain ONE relationship, but in this, I have learned that I have 6 separate relationships:
1) me and Mrs. HB1
2) me and Mr. HB
3) us as a whole
4) us as a family with my children (and any more that come along)
5) me with my children (and the looks and judgement from society)
6) sanity within myself
It's a lot of work, but the rewards of all the love I get from this units outweighs the drama behind it.
Glad for more input!
Mrs. HB2
(sorry, no pics of me here, but trust me...I'm sexy =) )
Thanks for posting on this. I (nor the wife) are really the swinger type, but we do have polyamory goals. Sites for it, though, are bare and lack activity. We started posting on swinger sites because we felt that was our best means of finding what we were/are looking for. We do want to spend some time swinging, to see what kind of woman would suit us well and get some experience with the dynamic, but ultimately we'd like to find one special person to share in our lives in all ways possible.
I'd definitely be interested in hearing more about your own experiences, especially how you balance the relational dynamics and some specifics on conflict resolution.
I'd definitely be interested in hearing more about your own experiences, especially how you balance the relational dynamics and some specifics on conflict resolution.
You've all taken the time to read "the Ethical Slut" right? It's one of the most clear modern treatises on Polyamory. At the very least, it gives a clear language and examples of the various shades of poly living. Best of luck to you.
KAMARATI wrote:
Easy, come out her to Utah. We been doing polyamory right since 1847. We prefer to call it polygamy though; semantics.
Polyamory is a less specific term than polygamy, the practice or condition of having more than one spouse. The majority of polygamous cultures are traditionally polygynous, where one husband has multiple wives.
I believe, in our situation, it's not just one man loving or marrying more than one woman, but a group where we all want to be married (legal or otherwise) and love each other...thank you for your input all the same, it IS appreciated.
Mrs. HB2
Hi.Well I have read all the posts and thought I would post as well. My wife and I are poly. We too are just at the beginning of a poly triad, our second. The poly life style is hard to define due to the fact that there are lots of combimnations. With most of the posts I would have to agree with all that they said. Dont keep score, but most of all be honest with everyone. In our expirence take things slow and one day at a time. In one post it was said that holding hands in a mall was not taken well.... who cares! it is your life if you are happy then what is the problem. in most cases the on lookers are probably wishing they had what you have! Our first triad lasted 4 years. We were all young and she ended finding the man of her dreams and they got married. That and as abit of a twist they are swingers. As far as suport as a poly familly look at poly groups on facebook. We are members of Polyamory Edmonton. It may not be close to you but we are all open and willing to talk!
Hullo all, Mr. HB on here and posting for the first time. (God, I sound like a news reporter.)
I'm going to reiterate that all of this was an accident, but probably one of the best accidents that has ever happened in my life. I had known and been in a loving relationship with Ms. HB1, although we had had our differences, emotional issues, and the like, when she introduced me to Ms. HB2. She had met up with Ms. HB2 and her boyfriend at the time with my blessing and this was supposed to be a one time thing or a casual thing, but when we were all in the same room that first night, it was like a blessing to all of us. Even before we got to know each other better like we have in what has grown out of that night, we all seemed to move together in a very very close rhythm, and it was beautiful. I'm so happy to be with these two, and even if at times we drive each other up the walls, we love each other very much. My grandfather used to tell me that you've never really loved someone if at some point in your lives, you haven't wanted to wring their neck. ^_^
Maintaining this relationship can be difficult, but what the ladies have said has been how we've figured it out. We work on all three individual relationships as well as the triad as a whole, going so far as to (when I'm not physically with them) talking about things in a group chat on IM so that we can work everything out together. The families are a different story and we're still hashing that out, but that will all work out in due time. We love each other and will all find a way to make it work.
Anywho, long story short, if there is anyone out there who looks down on us because of the way we love and live our lives, then that's fine with me. I'll pay them no mind as I have been doing already, and continue to love these two wonderful women and to hear stories about how they've been keeping each other busy while I'm away. :P
Mr. HB (The one who uses excessive smileys and has a strange sense of humor.)
I'm going to reiterate that all of this was an accident, but probably one of the best accidents that has ever happened in my life. I had known and been in a loving relationship with Ms. HB1, although we had had our differences, emotional issues, and the like, when she introduced me to Ms. HB2. She had met up with Ms. HB2 and her boyfriend at the time with my blessing and this was supposed to be a one time thing or a casual thing, but when we were all in the same room that first night, it was like a blessing to all of us. Even before we got to know each other better like we have in what has grown out of that night, we all seemed to move together in a very very close rhythm, and it was beautiful. I'm so happy to be with these two, and even if at times we drive each other up the walls, we love each other very much. My grandfather used to tell me that you've never really loved someone if at some point in your lives, you haven't wanted to wring their neck. ^_^
Maintaining this relationship can be difficult, but what the ladies have said has been how we've figured it out. We work on all three individual relationships as well as the triad as a whole, going so far as to (when I'm not physically with them) talking about things in a group chat on IM so that we can work everything out together. The families are a different story and we're still hashing that out, but that will all work out in due time. We love each other and will all find a way to make it work.
Anywho, long story short, if there is anyone out there who looks down on us because of the way we love and live our lives, then that's fine with me. I'll pay them no mind as I have been doing already, and continue to love these two wonderful women and to hear stories about how they've been keeping each other busy while I'm away. :P
Mr. HB (The one who uses excessive smileys and has a strange sense of humor.)
HALFBAKED wrote:
Hi all....
I'm writing this because Mr. Halfbaked and I finally found someone to swing with, and it turned into more...for ALL of us. Well, me and Mr, and the female half of this couple (long story, relationship was on the brink WAY before we got involved, and they broke up shortly after a few encounters). Thing was, I had already become VERY good friends with the female, and they had been a "play alone and together" couple, so we'd had threesomes with just him and just her, so we knew we liked being with just her. And my guy liked her a lot outside the bedroom, too.
Anyway, long story short, we were talking and the subject of polyamory came up (not that we knew that word at the time), because he and i had developed feelings for her, and she'd developed feelings for us. So now, we are a love-triangle in a GOOD way. I am in love with him AND with her, and he is in love with her AND with me, and she is in love with me AND him. We're all in love with each other. So we just kind of made up these rules for our relationship...we have all-together time, and each couple within the triangle also has equal time with just the two. It's been almost a year now, and it's still going strong...We all live apart due to life/economic concerns, but we're thinking about combining households as we plan for this to be a permanent thing. We even want to have a "commitment ceremony" with the three of us, after Mr. Halfbaked and I legally tie the knot (he and she share the same last name, so after he and I get married, we'd all have it).
The thing is, we have not found very many places to meet other people like ourselves, though we know they exist...We figured that maybe someone on HERE had some knowledge, either first- or second-hand, that they'd be willing to share.
We realize that we're taking a chance outing ourselves on here....from the few people in the lifestyle we have told (we finally found a local club), that OUR lifestyle isn't necessarily welcomed. We figured it was worth it to put ourselves out there, since there are *very* few couples on here even close to local, so we wouldn't really be losing out on much. That said, if you're cool with sharing here on the forum, great. If not, and we totally understand, you could PM us...We're really just looking for other people like us....especially if they are swingers, because we still want to swing, too.
Mr. and Misses Halfbaked...or maybe that's 3/4 now, lol ;-)
We have a relationship like this. We have all been together for over 5 years. She was in and out depending on what was going on in her life. Which is fine by us too. She is also my best friend too. I met her a few months before we both met Josh. He is amazing he has to deal with us lol.
We dont usually find couples like us. What we find is can I play with your girls in which we ask them to bring a friend. Cause she can find a guy in 2 second just like I can. Its not hard just shake it like a salt shaker lol
Anyways we all just somehow get along well and rarely fight or argue.
Being poly just means you are able to cope with many people in the same family. This is also the best types of familys. As everyone works together to get the job done.
Now if Morgan ever mets someone she wants more with a build a life with then we are cheering her on and we will always love each other and loving someone new is how poly love is done(=
We as a couple just seem to get each other and that helps everything else just click.
Hope all goes well with you all in the future and hope you find other like you as well. We are like you and thats just one more person. (=
It takes two very comfortable and trusting individuals to, first of all be open to the idea of polyamory. It took my husband and I a while to understand that our desires were not just for the sexual satisfaction, but to actually develop another emotional bond with another person together, to be able to understand and maintain a poly relationship. Although complicated and difficult at times, what you gain from it is worth it. Best to you all!
Im not an ethical slut. I have only been with a few men lol.
Plus never cheated nor thought of it in my life. Just found love on every corner!!! I cant help it....it just happens(=
Plus never cheated nor thought of it in my life. Just found love on every corner!!! I cant help it....it just happens(=
polyamory is actually part of human evolution. Early humans lived this way and so do gorillas and monkeys(=
They somehow made it happen with littler brains. Dogs act this way and they are our best friends and followed us since the dawn of our time.
So lets just do it like they do it on the DISCOVERY CHANNEL!!!
They somehow made it happen with littler brains. Dogs act this way and they are our best friends and followed us since the dawn of our time.
So lets just do it like they do it on the DISCOVERY CHANNEL!!!
Not gonna lie I'm a bit jealous of all this I can't hardly find one person to love let alone 2 or more, best of luck
Hey Halfbaked,
We have been in a quad relationship for 2 1/2 years with another couple we met as Swingers. There have been ups and downs, but we are all happier than we have been in our whole lives and we are all closer and more in love with our spouses than ever before. I think it works so well because each marriage has been 20 years plus and the other wife and I(I'm the Mrs) are Bi and in love as well. I would just caution you when it comes to introducing your children into this type of blended family. We live within walking distance of our BF & GF, but have chosen not to disclose the full details of our "friendship" to our children(ages 8 & 15) because we feel that it is hard enough to grow up nowadays under the best of circumstances and other people can be cruel and judgmental. I would not want my child to suffer in any way because of my lifestyle choice. I am not against blending families, it is just not something we are willing to risk. My biggest piece of advice would be to listen to others' advice objectively, but only do what is right and best for YOU and YOUR loved ones because every relationship is different and different things work for different people. Just always be completely honest and open with one another and discuss everyone's feelings whether they are good or bad. Good luck to you guys! You may want to search on Meetup to see if there is a Poly group in your area.
We have been in a quad relationship for 2 1/2 years with another couple we met as Swingers. There have been ups and downs, but we are all happier than we have been in our whole lives and we are all closer and more in love with our spouses than ever before. I think it works so well because each marriage has been 20 years plus and the other wife and I(I'm the Mrs) are Bi and in love as well. I would just caution you when it comes to introducing your children into this type of blended family. We live within walking distance of our BF & GF, but have chosen not to disclose the full details of our "friendship" to our children(ages 8 & 15) because we feel that it is hard enough to grow up nowadays under the best of circumstances and other people can be cruel and judgmental. I would not want my child to suffer in any way because of my lifestyle choice. I am not against blending families, it is just not something we are willing to risk. My biggest piece of advice would be to listen to others' advice objectively, but only do what is right and best for YOU and YOUR loved ones because every relationship is different and different things work for different people. Just always be completely honest and open with one another and discuss everyone's feelings whether they are good or bad. Good luck to you guys! You may want to search on Meetup to see if there is a Poly group in your area.
PAMPURREDPEACHZ wrote:
You've all taken the time to read "the Ethical Slut" right? It's one of the most clear modern treatises on Polyamory. At the very least, it gives a clear language and examples of the various shades of poly living. Best of luck to you.
YES, this is a must read!!!
HOLY BUNKLE!!! A marriage between one man and one woman is complex enough for me. Throwing in another mate and kids as well seems like brain damage to me. You'd have to cart me off to the looney bin. If you can do it successfully - the more power to you. I'm not against you doing it and wish you all as much success and happiness as we've had with our marriage.
And HELL YES!!! We would swing with you - from every branch of the tree!
And HELL YES!!! We would swing with you - from every branch of the tree!
Hi,
I've been closely associating with poly individuals for about seven years now.
Find your local poly group(s)
http://ohiovalleypoly.150m.com/
Make it a point to attend as many meetings and functions as you can. Keep in mind that some poly people (some) turn their nose up at the idea of swinging, just as many swinging people turn their nose up at poly. Also don't be deterred if you start attending poly meetings and don't see the kind of people you normally hang out with, your tribe, so to speak. The benefit isn't finding your people as it is in meeting people with lots of experience with poly-relationships. You can learn from anyone who has been where you are heading.
Making up your own rules is great, so long as they work for you and your family.
Here in Utah there are circulating groups. We have swingers, poly, kinky, burners and in each group there are the core members (hardcore) and then there are those of us that circulate among them all. So, when attending meetings be aware that one day their might be four people, the next 40. Also that the opinions of the core members may not be representative of the life you three have created for yourselves and don't let anyone sway you from what you know works for you.
Congratulations, don't ever let small minded people make you feel bad. I wish you all the best.
I've been closely associating with poly individuals for about seven years now.
Find your local poly group(s)
http://ohiovalleypoly.150m.com/
Make it a point to attend as many meetings and functions as you can. Keep in mind that some poly people (some) turn their nose up at the idea of swinging, just as many swinging people turn their nose up at poly. Also don't be deterred if you start attending poly meetings and don't see the kind of people you normally hang out with, your tribe, so to speak. The benefit isn't finding your people as it is in meeting people with lots of experience with poly-relationships. You can learn from anyone who has been where you are heading.
Making up your own rules is great, so long as they work for you and your family.
Here in Utah there are circulating groups. We have swingers, poly, kinky, burners and in each group there are the core members (hardcore) and then there are those of us that circulate among them all. So, when attending meetings be aware that one day their might be four people, the next 40. Also that the opinions of the core members may not be representative of the life you three have created for yourselves and don't let anyone sway you from what you know works for you.
Congratulations, don't ever let small minded people make you feel bad. I wish you all the best.