THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the fuck home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.
19. No condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.
20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
21. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.
* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.
Wishing everyone a wycked weekend filled with lots of fu**ing awesome SEX!!!!. OH YES AND REMEMBER ALWAYS PRACTICE SAFE SEX
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the fuck home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.
19. No condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.
20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
21. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.
* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.
Wishing everyone a wycked weekend filled with lots of fu**ing awesome SEX!!!!. OH YES AND REMEMBER ALWAYS PRACTICE SAFE SEX
Hilarious!!!!!! 
sorry about the woulld, sticky keys
22. Yes, shower before you come over.
23. No you can not use my shower, thats why i have baby wipes.
24. I may not introduce you to my friends and family unless of couse they catch us in the act. In that case "shut the fuck up" cuz we were both are victims of some weird Ambien side-effect.
25. If I fall asleep...no mater what, do not wake me....if you steal my shit or take pictures of my nakid ass while I am asleep...just know, I have already dug a very deep grave out in the salt flats that i can only find with my gps with your name on it.
26. Please love every minute of knowing there are billions of people without any "Fuck Buddies"
23. No you can not use my shower, thats why i have baby wipes.
24. I may not introduce you to my friends and family unless of couse they catch us in the act. In that case "shut the fuck up" cuz we were both are victims of some weird Ambien side-effect.
25. If I fall asleep...no mater what, do not wake me....if you steal my shit or take pictures of my nakid ass while I am asleep...just know, I have already dug a very deep grave out in the salt flats that i can only find with my gps with your name on it.
26. Please love every minute of knowing there are billions of people without any "Fuck Buddies"
27. No I don't think you need another drink to relax...it already seems like you're trying to stick a warm spaghetti noodle thru the eye of a needle.
28. No you can't cum on my face...would you like it if I took a shit on yours?!
29. If I should suddenly stop, jump up, and leave the room dropping various "f" bombs, it's just a cramp! They happen! Just giggle and give me a goddam minute!
30. It isn't gay if there's a woman between us...accidental contact happens, no I didn't like it, and don't flatter yourself...she made me cum, you had nothing to do with it.
28. No you can't cum on my face...would you like it if I took a shit on yours?!
29. If I should suddenly stop, jump up, and leave the room dropping various "f" bombs, it's just a cramp! They happen! Just giggle and give me a goddam minute!
30. It isn't gay if there's a woman between us...accidental contact happens, no I didn't like it, and don't flatter yourself...she made me cum, you had nothing to do with it.
32. Part b, or a girl, or two or more...
lol These are good!
We need a fuck buddy. Taking aps. Now.
We can then make are our "Rules" wife really wants a friend to go do nails, ..
Pretty much covers everything a fuck buddy is expected to do.Being friends does make the experience better.
UTAHCOUPLE4PLAY wrote:SHARE_A_PAIR_SL_UT wrote:
We can then make are our "Rules" wife really wants a friend to go do nails, ..
Amended
It is a woman prerogative to alter or change any rule, at any time, without question.
And it is the man's prerogative to ignore that so he may sleep on the couch and watch sports and movies all night long.
UTAHCOUPLE4PLAY wrote:JEFFSMITH1972 wrote:
[quote=UTAHCOUPLE4PLAY][quote=SHARE_A_PAIR_SL_UT]We can then make are our "Rules" wife really wants a friend to go do nails, ..
Amended
It is a woman prerogative to alter or change any rule, at any time, without question.
And it is the man's prerogative to ignore that so he may sleep on the couch and watch sports and movies all night long.[/quote]
Overruled by lifestyle tips.
THE WOMEN ARE IN CHARGE
Whether or not this is unpleasant for you to hear guys, it is true. Once you relinquish the control and realize this, all your fantasies will come true! Women feel sexy when they are in control and are free to explore without pressure. Enough said![/quote]
k, off to the couch I go! I do play nice, but I don't play "too nice" anymore. I won't force something onto a woman, but neither do I enjoy something being forced onto me.
Thanks for the laugh, but it's a bit colder than we expected....lol.