This whole "swinging" thing is a much more complicated process than I first thought. Sorry ahead of time for the post full of random thoughts! 
Not wanting to just knock on a neighbor's door and ask "Hey, wanna get it on?" we joined here. This place can be brutal -- gotta have a thick skin!
Those who are here for the pure fuck of it have it the easiest. Those of us who want the friend/fuck combo face a bit more of a challenge. Matching four personalities up can be rough enough, even disregarding personal physical and sexual preferences. Then there's the communication! My "bi-curious" can mean a lot of things to different folks. To me it's just that ... a curiosity. I'd like to sample some soft stroking upper body play with a gal and see what happens. Some gals I've run into interpret that totally different as in, "Eat me now, BITCH!"
OK, you might have caught me exaggerating a tad there, but ya get my drift.
Then we suck at saying "no!" I hate that part. Does anyone else hate that? We've our little family with lots goin' on, so we've only time for a date night once a week at best, and often that's eaten up with items besides swinging. So when folks inquire, we so often have to turn them away if it looks like nothing sexual will develop (even if it looks like we might be good platonic friends) just 'cause those freaking time constraints. I absolutely HATE that!
Is it a cyclical thing for other folks as well? We've had most luck with singles, but even then, it seems like we'll get overwhelmed for awhile, then it all dries up, then overwhelmed again. Damn dry periods just plain suck!! Speaking of which ...
I know, I know, this isn't the place for it. I guess I'll go put up a booty call for next weekend maybe for someplace northward, say Ogden anyone? Any thoughts on the best gathering places way up there in the great white north, the land of sin and honey? I do like the Wine Cellar up there, but other fav's?
Not wanting to just knock on a neighbor's door and ask "Hey, wanna get it on?" we joined here. This place can be brutal -- gotta have a thick skin!
Those who are here for the pure fuck of it have it the easiest. Those of us who want the friend/fuck combo face a bit more of a challenge. Matching four personalities up can be rough enough, even disregarding personal physical and sexual preferences. Then there's the communication! My "bi-curious" can mean a lot of things to different folks. To me it's just that ... a curiosity. I'd like to sample some soft stroking upper body play with a gal and see what happens. Some gals I've run into interpret that totally different as in, "Eat me now, BITCH!"
OK, you might have caught me exaggerating a tad there, but ya get my drift.Then we suck at saying "no!" I hate that part. Does anyone else hate that? We've our little family with lots goin' on, so we've only time for a date night once a week at best, and often that's eaten up with items besides swinging. So when folks inquire, we so often have to turn them away if it looks like nothing sexual will develop (even if it looks like we might be good platonic friends) just 'cause those freaking time constraints. I absolutely HATE that!
Is it a cyclical thing for other folks as well? We've had most luck with singles, but even then, it seems like we'll get overwhelmed for awhile, then it all dries up, then overwhelmed again. Damn dry periods just plain suck!! Speaking of which ...
I know, I know, this isn't the place for it. I guess I'll go put up a booty call for next weekend maybe for someplace northward, say Ogden anyone? Any thoughts on the best gathering places way up there in the great white north, the land of sin and honey? I do like the Wine Cellar up there, but other fav's?A lot of people like Teazers. I'm so so on it. Service good, drinks fair. Atmosphere typical bar. Just can't go to my car without being accosted or propositioned by someone who doesn't speaks english. I never quite know if I should say thank you or slap them. ~shrug~ Again, Wine Cellar good. I also like Brewskies too. They have great drinks and the food is really good too.
We are not doing a booty call this weekend. We are going to Habits friday night and then we have all 11 kids (my 6 and his 5) saturday thru monday. I will be lucky if I get a freakin kiss, much less an earth shattering orgasm those days. LOL
We are not doing a booty call this weekend. We are going to Habits friday night and then we have all 11 kids (my 6 and his 5) saturday thru monday. I will be lucky if I get a freakin kiss, much less an earth shattering orgasm those days. LOL
WOW!!!
First I would say. Don
First I would say. Don
I've never tried teasers, Blue Eyes, maybe I'll just drag hubby there and do that on our own!
BabyBull, your are too sweet again, dang it!
My heads certainly up ... it's just so hard to get four people on the same page it seems. No biggie though, I always manage to "get mine" one way or another! 
UCanTouch, Yeah, sometimes couples pair-up with their own partner and don't spread it around enough!! We're guilty of that. Of course the last party was so packed that it was almost hard not to spread it around involuntarily! Hubby and I are going at it while people are stepping across us, "Excuse me, I need to get my lube out of the closet!!"
BabyBull, your are too sweet again, dang it!
My heads certainly up ... it's just so hard to get four people on the same page it seems. No biggie though, I always manage to "get mine" one way or another! UCanTouch, Yeah, sometimes couples pair-up with their own partner and don't spread it around enough!! We're guilty of that. Of course the last party was so packed that it was almost hard not to spread it around involuntarily! Hubby and I are going at it while people are stepping across us, "Excuse me, I need to get my lube out of the closet!!"
so glad we are here just for the fuck of it!
Glad to see we aren't the only ones that don't play "just for the fuck of it". It works for some couples, and that's great. They don't want any kind of relationship other than sexual only, and I totally respect that. It's a couple's personal decision, and if it works for them, more power to them. We aren't here to tell anyone else how to play.
We have been on this site for 2 years and 3 months, and lets just say there are 3 couples that know us really well, and our dates can all be counted on one hand. Not important at all, but I'm making a point...we want something more than just a fuck. It's as simple as that. If it was just about the big "O", we would probably have a different date every weekend, but we can't and won't play that way. We want the bond that is created between couples that actually give a shit about each other. In my OWN opinion, how can I respect my wife, myself, or another man's wife, if I could care less what they do when they walk out that door, no matter how hot they are or not?
My wife is not a piece of meat, nor could I ever feel that another man's wife is nothing more than an exciting new cum dumpster for myself. It's about respect, trust, and caring enough about being a decent fucking human being, that it's impossible to play without emotion, or some form of connection that's deeper than just the fact that our parts happen to fit. When it comes down to it, I wanna know my wife is safe, and I want the other husband to feel the same about me.
I could go on and on with horror stories from friends on here, but I'm sure I'm already gonna get my ass kicked by some couples that don't agree with our ideas. I can respect everyone's choice, and don't have a problem with it at all. I don't make your rules. But for this guy, the moment I don't care who my wife fucks, or vice-versa, regardless of how hot or not, is the moment we are in this for all the wrong reasons. That's OUR choice, and we made it together. Together we'll stay.
Okay let the beating begin...peace. ROCK
We have been on this site for 2 years and 3 months, and lets just say there are 3 couples that know us really well, and our dates can all be counted on one hand. Not important at all, but I'm making a point...we want something more than just a fuck. It's as simple as that. If it was just about the big "O", we would probably have a different date every weekend, but we can't and won't play that way. We want the bond that is created between couples that actually give a shit about each other. In my OWN opinion, how can I respect my wife, myself, or another man's wife, if I could care less what they do when they walk out that door, no matter how hot they are or not?
My wife is not a piece of meat, nor could I ever feel that another man's wife is nothing more than an exciting new cum dumpster for myself. It's about respect, trust, and caring enough about being a decent fucking human being, that it's impossible to play without emotion, or some form of connection that's deeper than just the fact that our parts happen to fit. When it comes down to it, I wanna know my wife is safe, and I want the other husband to feel the same about me.
I could go on and on with horror stories from friends on here, but I'm sure I'm already gonna get my ass kicked by some couples that don't agree with our ideas. I can respect everyone's choice, and don't have a problem with it at all. I don't make your rules. But for this guy, the moment I don't care who my wife fucks, or vice-versa, regardless of how hot or not, is the moment we are in this for all the wrong reasons. That's OUR choice, and we made it together. Together we'll stay.
Okay let the beating begin...peace. ROCK
Pebblerock------- all i can say is OUTSTANDING!!!! Very well Said.
Holy fucking shit, PebbleRock, I realize I've not just made the most articulate of exclamations but that was a way-cool explanation! I suppose I should have shortened it to more like what BabyBull said, but hell yeah and amen! (From the Mr)
I completely agree after having this discussion w/ my lady. I feel just like Pebblerock and just wish we could find the same types of couples who we can actually trust. This is the hardest thing that we have dealt with with our limited experience, but with couples out there like that it gives me hope that this can be successful.
~Kurt
~Kurt
I am finding I am more of a one on one girl - but not monogamous.... maybe that;s weird but it's how it is for me at this moment.
ouch, pebblerock. you make it sound like we are heartless animals. being in it 'just for the fuck of it' just means that we don't need to bond with other people to have sex with them. it doesn't mean we don't respect each other or that we think of the people we fuck as 'cum dumpsters'. (haha! cum dumpster sounds funny!)
we don't have time to make bff's or nurture relationships with other couples. that doesn't mean that we are in this for all the wrong reasons. this is a choice that we made together, just like you. we do this for ourselves and for each other... that, in itself, is the right reason, and, in the end it's only reason that truly matters.
we don't have any need or desire to bond with or feel validated by other people. that's what we have each other for...
we don't have time to make bff's or nurture relationships with other couples. that doesn't mean that we are in this for all the wrong reasons. this is a choice that we made together, just like you. we do this for ourselves and for each other... that, in itself, is the right reason, and, in the end it's only reason that truly matters.
we don't have any need or desire to bond with or feel validated by other people. that's what we have each other for...
Seems like CandJ23 and Pebblerock both have the right idea. Whatever floats your boat, but yes, we all have different motivations. Not a problem!
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:All right, Brewskies was going to be it 'till I saw that they are featuring "Nigel and the Metal Dogs." About a half hour of that and it's my theory that Mr Pals will be carving his own eyes out with a butter knife. Teasers doesn't look like it has anything scheduled, at least on it's website, so it looks like it's going to have to be the Blues in the Wine Cellar! Looks like it's gonna be snuggling and petting in a booth like a couple-a teenagers!
A lot of people like Teazers. I'm so so on it. Service good, drinks fair. Atmosphere typical bar. Just can't go to my car without being accosted or propositioned by someone who doesn't speaks english. I never quite know if I should say thank you or slap them. ~shrug~ Again, Wine Cellar good. I also like Brewskies too. They have great drinks and the food is really good too.
We are not doing a booty call this weekend. We are going to Habits friday night and then we have all 11 kids (my 6 and his 5) saturday thru monday. I will be lucky if I get a freakin kiss, much less an earth shattering orgasm those days. LOL
Off to make a booty call I go! Thanks BlueEyes!I too am not into this LS just for the fuck of it, if that was the case I think I would be having sex and different partners every day.. Hell maybe more lol. But I'm not and what it comes down to is connections with ppl. I want more than a just a fuck in a dark alley per say.
PEACEFULCHA0S wrote:WHAT? You're not into the big ol penis pic? Oh, shoot, umm...don't read that email we just sent you ok?
I too am not into this LS just for the fuck of it, if that was the case I think I would be having sex and different partners every day.. Hell maybe more lol. But I'm not and what it comes down to is connections with ppl. I want more than a just a fuck in a dark alley per say.
To each of us our own likes and dislikes. What attracts one doesn't attract the other. I don't get off on straight cock shots being sent to me in my mail as a hello.. I want something a little more classy than that. I need to be attracted to u mentally as much as physically. Because of this I have never taken one for the team ever. The key is knowing what u like and staying by it, u will find it... I usually do
CANDJ23 wrote:No no no, not my intention to hurt any feelings or say you're doing it wrong. You guys seem happy, spunky, and excitable, and it works for you. Perfect fit to your life as you see it and like it. No harm, no foul, just your own preference and that's how it should be. That's how ANY of this should be. That's what makes it all so beautiful. Nobody has the right to tell you your rules because it isn't their game.
ouch, pebblerock. you make it sound like we are heartless animals. being in it 'just for the fuck of it' just means that we don't need to bond with other people to have sex with them. it doesn't mean we don't respect each other or that we think of the people we fuck as 'cum dumpsters'. (haha! cum dumpster sounds funny!)
we don't have time to make bff's or nurture relationships with other couples. that doesn't mean that we are in this for all the wrong reasons. this is a choice that we made together, just like you. we do this for ourselves and for each other... that, in itself, is the right reason, and, in the end it's only reason that truly matters.
we don't have any need or desire to bond with or feel validated by other people. that's what we have each other for...
But with us it's all about the connection, what we have in common, love for our families and kids, hobbies, habits, compassion, and knowing I can trust you if my back is turned. That's what I find most attractive about people is their hearts. And if you're cute, funny, and might wanna fuck us once in a while to get our kink in at the same time, well that's just salty icing on the cake. LOL. I don't wanna marry you, and I don't wanna live together, but I wanna be absolutely sure my wife will be treated like a queen whether I'm in the same room at the moment or not. I expect it, and I want others to expect it of me. It's my duty to protect my wife in this lifestyle at all times, or I have no business being here or asking it of her. I consider myself grateful that she likes to play, and watch me play, and it still amazes me how close we have become. I don't ever wanna take the chance of her getting hurt or having a bad experience, so that's just how I roll. It's not validation at all my friends. We get that from each other. It's just a little bit of security in an already risky lifestyle, and it'll make you or break you if it isn't played just right...it's just a matter of time. Have fun sexy friends...ROCK...oh and the "cum-dumpster" expression is just a silly thing I heard from a sexy female. No implications meant at all.
PEGBUNDY wrote:
I am finding I am more of a one on one girl - but not monogamous.... maybe that;s weird but it's how it is for me at this moment.
I'm kind of in the same boat. I tried all the combinations and one one one still seems to work best for me. I can focus more on the pleasing that way. But extras can still be great fun too.
PALS4FUN: Nothing but big smiles for you!
pebblerock... my feelings weren't hurt in the slightest. cum dumpster still makes me giggle... i'd like to see that as somebody's handle... haha!
we do have few view points in common... I also am grateful that he likes to play. I love it that he loves watching me play, and I am just plain lucky to have him...
cum dumpster still makes me giggle... i'd like to see that as somebody's handle... haha!we do have few view points in common... I also am grateful that he likes to play. I love it that he loves watching me play, and I am just plain lucky to have him...
CANDJ23 wrote:Thanks sweetie. I feel the same way for my wife. I adore her and worship the ground she walks on, and if anything ever happened to her or anyone mistreated her, it would devastate me, and I'd probably be in prison for a while. LOL. But this lifestyle is, and always will be, at her pace and comfort level. No regrets...No settling or taking one for the team...And no disrespect unless it's deserved. HAHA "cumdumpster" still makes me laugh too. You're awesome! Stay in touch sexy one...ROCKO
pebblerock... my feelings weren't hurt in the slightest.
we do have few view points in common... I also am grateful that he likes to play. I love it that he loves watching me play, and I am just plain lucky to have him...
Well let's see, Teasers sold and has had a face lift and the new owners dumped the old name due to a very rough reputation and Brewski's after about 8pm is full of a bunch of kids. City Club is nice but small. The owners of The Wine Cellar are as good a people as you are going to find. They try to keep the music volume down so people can talk and get to know each other and you can dance, play pool or just chill since the lighting is kept low and relaxing.
We completely understand that life gets in the way and we agree that that getting to know a couple is really what sparks a fun long lasting friends with benefits relationship.
Good luck and keep plugging sometime it happens most times it doesn't but that's ok. Give us a yell if you want to make the trip north and give the Cellar a try.
We completely understand that life gets in the way and we agree that that getting to know a couple is really what sparks a fun long lasting friends with benefits relationship.
Good luck and keep plugging sometime it happens most times it doesn't but that's ok. Give us a yell if you want to make the trip north and give the Cellar a try.
Difficult? The only difficulty is attempting to dissuade the undesirables from contacting us. In the two years we have been doing this we have NEVER sent an email to a couple or a single male. We don't solicit. We don't have to. We get two to three emails every day asking for friendship (which we put in friendship purgatory - (344 and adding daily)) or asking to meet us. This is like a reverse catalog. .
We especially find it amusing when we are asked to turn a blind eye to their lack of attractiveness and focus on their personality. Really??? Christ, people get a fucking clue.
So difficult??? No. Humorous??? Yes. And have we had some amazing times with some amazingly, attractive and fun people. So, difficult? No. Worth it? ya, sure.
Cheers
P.S.
And to all those who think we are fucking asshole, elite, non-comprising jerks. Great. Don't send us an email!!!! LOL Guess this post served it's purpose. FUCK OFF.
.We especially find it amusing when we are asked to turn a blind eye to their lack of attractiveness and focus on their personality. Really??? Christ, people get a fucking clue.
So difficult??? No. Humorous??? Yes. And have we had some amazing times with some amazingly, attractive and fun people. So, difficult? No. Worth it? ya, sure.
Cheers
P.S.
And to all those who think we are fucking asshole, elite, non-comprising jerks. Great. Don't send us an email!!!! LOL Guess this post served it's purpose.
FUCK OFF.I'm just posting this on here so Invitesome's noise and face isn't the last thing people see on here.
Oh, by the way, PALS4FUN and so many people on this thread are 20 times more hot than Invitesome, any day of the week.
Oh, by the way, PALS4FUN and so many people on this thread are 20 times more hot than Invitesome, any day of the week.
Case in point. LOL
JEFFSMITH1972 wrote:
I'm just posting this on here so Invitesome's noise and face isn't the last thing people see on here.
Oh, by the way, PALS4FUN and so many people on this thread are 20 times more hot than Invitesome, any day of the week.
We think your sound pretty undesireable invitesome. Your arrogance is a much bigger turn off than bad teeth. We sure wouldn't want anything to do with you. You don't really count the friend requests, do you?? LOL
INVITESOME wrote:
Case in point. LOL
JEFFSMITH1972 wrote:
I'm just posting this on here so Invitesome's noise and face isn't the last thing people see on here.
Oh, by the way, PALS4FUN and so many people on this thread are 20 times more hot than Invitesome, any day of the week.
Holy crap, this post was dead, and you went out of your way to bump it back up again? Are you REALLY that self-absorbed you had to find the post, just to add that comment? Are you really stupid enough to think that what I said proved *your* point? I thought these things weren't possible, but you keep on disproving me time and time again - GOOD JOB INVITESOME!
And onto the actual topic:
Ok, you know what though, it's true, for an actual real hookup/connection, it's hard to do. It's more than just seeing someone's pics, thinking they're hot and desirable, and trying to fuck. It's a dance, it really is, with all partners throwing themselves all over the place, and every single person being surprised that the other person couldn't interpret their moves perfectly beforehand.
And even though several people actually consider my real picture to be "cute" they don't take into account that my personality can be hard to deal with, that though I can be fun and delightful, I can be a needy little whiny bitch at times, and at those times you'll want me to go away. Everyone's like that, and most people are complex, rewarding to get to know, and in the end it can be one awesome pain in the ass experience of exquisitely beautiful & painful moments.
"The suspense is terrible - I hope it lasts!"
friendship purgatory, huh? we get 5-6 requests a day. it never even occured to us to be so rude as to just ignore them and leave them hanging. we accept or deny every request, bases on pics and/or profile content, and will continue to do so...
I've not been on for awhile. Sheez, I thought this thread'd be long gone.
Invitesome, I think it's awesome that everyone adores you so much that you feel compelled to spend your Saturday nights on this board letting them know it. I've seen this same pattern and timing from you in the past. I believe it's a Shakespeare quote, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."
As the OP, one of my major concerns was that I so disliked ever having to turn someone away because of my own family time constraints and such, as there are so many wonderful members here, and I really would rather not hurt anyone's feelings. It is obvious that you have no such compunction.
Invitesome, I think it's awesome that everyone adores you so much that you feel compelled to spend your Saturday nights on this board letting them know it. I've seen this same pattern and timing from you in the past. I believe it's a Shakespeare quote, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."
As the OP, one of my major concerns was that I so disliked ever having to turn someone away because of my own family time constraints and such, as there are so many wonderful members here, and I really would rather not hurt anyone's feelings. It is obvious that you have no such compunction.