In your opinion, does asking if your potential playmate if they've been tested for STD's discourteous or break a code of social ethics? Frankly, the bumpersticker "D&D free and expect the same" is such a trite position that it leaves little assurance whatever bugs may be in someone's pubic nest may end up in ours. We have been surprised when people are offended we'd ask - which frankly, their offense is itself an answer . . . but we're curious what others think . . .
Simple, we test regularly and you? Not something to tip toe about. If their feelings are hurt we feel they can move along. I suspect no one would be offended.
Simples
Simples
We ask,and make it very clear we use protection at all times, it's YOUR body, it's your right to ask and know where your partners have been and if they take the precautions...believe me not all do, we had a couple contact us today in fact that said they DO NOT use condoms and if that is an issue to let them know..HELLLOO BIG ISSUE!!!. If people are offended by it, you don't want that kind of friends anyway (in my opinon)
Mrs. Curious
Mrs. Curious
Here is another question. My wife and I are looking to actively start playing in the lifestyle and we have not been tested. We have not done anything that would require testing. (No other partners in the 10 1/2 years we have been together.) So should we get tested prior to playing just to have that piece of paper saying that we are clean when someone asks?
And otherwise I would think the only people that would be offended are either people who have no idea if they are clean or not, or even worse those that would suspect or know that they have a surprise gift for you.
And otherwise I would think the only people that would be offended are either people who have no idea if they are clean or not, or even worse those that would suspect or know that they have a surprise gift for you.
It doesn't bother me at all. Probably because I've been tested a number of times and always turned up negative. The first test was by far the scariest. One, because I'd done some things with some people that were downright stupid and two, because I was testing my entire past. Now that I'm older and wiser (well, older at least) and safer in my behavior, I'm no longer nervous about being retested. The only reason I can think of for responding badly is the choice of admitting that I hadn't been tested or lying. I was scared but as a semi-responsible adult, I don't want to worry that I might have a high likelihood of passing a disease on to someone else.
WEWNT2PLAY, I'm no an advice columnist, but I suppose getting tested is good for peace of mind alone - as some microscopic uglies can lay dormant for over a decade.
The larger issue I suppose is found in the trouble with testing and telling because is there is no real proof that your potential playmate is telling the truth - about anything at all for that matter. It would be nice to take people for their word, but this isn't necessarily a scrupulous lifestyle and is considered high-risk by health and safety experts.
The origin of my question had to do with certain hostilities we've encountered over the years when we would ask . . . wondering WTF is up with some people and whether their paranoia was cultural or learned.
The larger issue I suppose is found in the trouble with testing and telling because is there is no real proof that your potential playmate is telling the truth - about anything at all for that matter. It would be nice to take people for their word, but this isn't necessarily a scrupulous lifestyle and is considered high-risk by health and safety experts.
The origin of my question had to do with certain hostilities we've encountered over the years when we would ask . . . wondering WTF is up with some people and whether their paranoia was cultural or learned.
we have been tested recently and would not be offended if someone asked. but if I asked someone who got offended and/or refused to answer, then that would be the end of it right then and there. I think its a practical question to ask and nothing to get offended about.
We get tested and have no problem asking if he comes up we always play safe and wont play unless the other people do as well.
We are Drug and Decease free.
We are Drug and Decease free.
People should not be offended but people do not always tell the truth either. Then there is the question of when tested and have they had any sex since. There is no such thing as safe sex only safer sex. You are safer with friends than strangers simply from the fact that people are more likely to be honest with friends.
I straight out ask, when was you last HIV test and have ya played since? If that is a problem, like the others said....move on. Safety first.
BACKATIT wrote:
WEWNT2PLAY, I'm no an advice columnist, but I suppose getting tested is good for peace of mind alone - as some microscopic uglies can lay dormant for over a decade.
The larger issue I suppose is found in the trouble with testing and telling because is there is no real proof that your potential playmate is telling the truth - about anything at all for that matter. It would be nice to take people for their word, but this isn't necessarily a scrupulous lifestyle and is considered high-risk by health and safety experts.
The origin of my question had to do with certain hostilities we've encountered over the years when we would ask . . . wondering WTF is up with some people and whether their paranoia was cultural or learned.
Ask to see the results. They send them to ya or ask your Dr. for a copy. I have told my doc I'm in the lifestyle so she never wonders why I want testing. lol
I ask, I offer to share my test results, and I use condoms. It's a safety thing, like looking both ways before you cross the street. Imo, if someone is offended because you are assertively protecting your health/life, that's a big red flag. I don't walk away, I run, from big red flags. :~)