After 19 years together I recently had to file divorce paperwork. I still love her dearly but could no longer compete with her drug addiction. So now by my own choice I have now became the dreaded 'single male'. I know who would chose such a fate! With all the bashing that I've seen of single males over the years I almost left the lifestyle! I have debated with myself for the last 2 months about just quiting the lifestyle and deleteing my profiles rather than join a group that is so frowned upon.
But I AM the same guy I have always been! I do enjoy the friends I've met over the years. I have NOT changed only the 'label' people will put on me. I've always thought it strange that such a open minded group could be so fast to label and judge. Most everyone in this lifestyle has a friend (or 2) that has a kink what's a bit 'wierd' for us and we're all 'OK' with that. We all (mostly) adore 'single females'. Yet when i guy choses not to have a partner many of us assume there must be a reason and it can't be a good one.
And just to be fair my wife also blocked single males, always her choice. She was flooded by offers and was never really interested in meeting any guys. I am waiting for the admin to change my profile after making the decision to stay in the lifestyle. I feel I'll know when it's done because I hear the blocking of thousands of could be friends.
But I AM the same guy I have always been! I do enjoy the friends I've met over the years. I have NOT changed only the 'label' people will put on me. I've always thought it strange that such a open minded group could be so fast to label and judge. Most everyone in this lifestyle has a friend (or 2) that has a kink what's a bit 'wierd' for us and we're all 'OK' with that. We all (mostly) adore 'single females'. Yet when i guy choses not to have a partner many of us assume there must be a reason and it can't be a good one.
And just to be fair my wife also blocked single males, always her choice. She was flooded by offers and was never really interested in meeting any guys. I am waiting for the admin to change my profile after making the decision to stay in the lifestyle. I feel I'll know when it's done because I hear the blocking of thousands of could be friends.
I would not change your status and administration will not change it unless you ask them to. Simply state clearly in the first line of your profile that you are divorced and single. You might wish to add your post to the bottom. Yes things will be different but most will understand.
We all know that marriages break up and although it will be harder to get dates, as a single male, the couples profile will allow you to keep in touch with your friends. The sad thing is that you will loose several of them anyway. But this will show you who your real friends are.
From experience, I can tell you that the hardest part of being an older single is the feeling that you do not fit in. Around here there are a lot of married men that just sit and watch at a night club. If that is the same you will at least be able to socialize. Your chances of finding a SO in this lifestyle are good if you wish to do that. Maybe the guys will even line you up. You can never tell about folks. You know the ropes and you thus have knowledge and a perspective that most single men do not have.
I wish you well.
We all know that marriages break up and although it will be harder to get dates, as a single male, the couples profile will allow you to keep in touch with your friends. The sad thing is that you will loose several of them anyway. But this will show you who your real friends are.
From experience, I can tell you that the hardest part of being an older single is the feeling that you do not fit in. Around here there are a lot of married men that just sit and watch at a night club. If that is the same you will at least be able to socialize. Your chances of finding a SO in this lifestyle are good if you wish to do that. Maybe the guys will even line you up. You can never tell about folks. You know the ropes and you thus have knowledge and a perspective that most single men do not have.
I wish you well.
I debated over changing the profile from 'couple' to 'single male' and felt it was best to ask the Admin for a change. I have ALWAYS been a honest person. The only dis-honesty in my last 19 years has been because I was embarassed to tell many around me of her addiction issue.
IMHO, ... You lost us, in the first sentance.... we thought your airing of dirty laundry pertaining to your divorce was just plain RUDE. (and classless) Nobody but your closest friends needed to know WHY you divorced. You claim you still love her dearly, but we missed that part, reading in stunned disbelief that a spouce would drag another throught the ditch in public~ the pitty trip that followed was flavored "Cry me a river" in spades after that.... we suspect Youve done more damage to your prospects with your post than a single male moniker ever would. (at least in the short term)
If you were local to us, and aproached, we wouldnt allow such a fellow capible of that kind of Mud Slinging near us. if advice is what your really after, well offer you this~ If we were you we would delete this post and save yourself from its implications. then recomend a little more ardent soul searching on your part. better to remain silent and be thought a fool~...
If you were local to us, and aproached, we wouldnt allow such a fellow capible of that kind of Mud Slinging near us. if advice is what your really after, well offer you this~ If we were you we would delete this post and save yourself from its implications. then recomend a little more ardent soul searching on your part. better to remain silent and be thought a fool~...
KUANYU wrote:
I debated over changing the profile from 'couple' to 'single male' and felt it was best to ask the Admin for a change. I have ALWAYS been a honest person. The only dis-honesty in my last 19 years has been because I was embarassed to tell many around me of her addiction issue.
Honesty minus diplomacy equals brutality
I completely agree with ( TWOARIES2 ). Of course you are feeling shitty, but dragging her through the mud is 100% BULLSHIT and DRAMA and the LAST thing we want around us.. Couples do split up. IT IS YOUR BUSINESS!!! I suggest you rethink who you really are and make adjustments from there. Until then, try very hard to NOT make your problems everyone elses.
(( DRAMA DOES NOT BELONG HERE OR IN THE LIFESTYLE. ))
(( DRAMA DOES NOT BELONG HERE OR IN THE LIFESTYLE. ))
GREATBALLSOFIRE wrote:
(( DRAMA DOES NOT BELONG HERE OR IN THE LIFESTYLE. ))
aww. but i read the forums and see it here daily, so i thought it totally did. my mistake.
WOW!!!!!!
As a single male I pride myself on the respect that I have for myself as well as for the rest of the people on Swingular. Be it there my friends or just the great folks here. It
As a single male I pride myself on the respect that I have for myself as well as for the rest of the people on Swingular. Be it there my friends or just the great folks here. It
[quote=BABYBULL]WOW!!!!!!
As a single male I pride myself on the respect that I have for myself as well as for the rest of the people on Swingular. Be it there my friends or just the great folks here. It
As a single male I pride myself on the respect that I have for myself as well as for the rest of the people on Swingular. Be it there my friends or just the great folks here. It
T4REAL69 wrote:
Quite frankly if you are looking for total acceptance and understanding don't hold your breath. You are now living on the dark side to a lot of folks and you will not be treated in the same manner you were when you were a couple. Don't believe it...well just look at some of the responses you've garnered already.
As others have said be yourself, be respectful and those who will accept you will, those who won't won't...shake the dust off your boots with those who don't and move on.
T4REAL!! Where'd your pics go? This is "Fun4Mwf" but switched over to this moniker recently--it's just more accurate and easier. You can come fill my inbox anytime! (I love saying totally inappropriate stuff like that!)
Buddy the last time I was released in the wild. I lasted about 8 months before getting snared. LOL! Have fun with it. GO TO VEGAS, a lot!
You will be fine. Luck.
You will be fine. Luck.
Does any one here recall who was supposed to have said,
"I still love her dearly but could no longer compete with her drug addiction."
I didn't take this line as mud dragging at all at first. I can see folks point of view both ways. Sugar and spice always touts good opinions and I value his and agree with him.
I also agree with Ucanttouch..
good luck and best wishes for your ex and her addictions.
I didn't take this line as mud dragging at all at first. I can see folks point of view both ways. Sugar and spice always touts good opinions and I value his and agree with him.
I also agree with Ucanttouch..
good luck and best wishes for your ex and her addictions.
[quote=SUGARSANDSPICE]Does any one here recall who was supposed to have said,
Not 100% sure what your point is or if you're actually asking for feedback but here's our take. Ya just gotta realize that while some may be looking for SM's, many (perhaps most) are not. We've tried MMF a few times and for whatever reason Ms. Evil didn't enjoy it that much. She's enjoyed some SM's on her own at times but it is a fairly rare occurance nowadays. The best advice we can give you is to be polite, respectful and NON pushy. A simple email complementing a lady on her photos/appearance should suffice and she (they) will respond if they are interested. I know some SM's personalities dictate that they be more agressive and explicit and while that may be what some women look for most probably do not. Expect MANY more rejections (or just having your emails ignored) than not. Like it or not. This is a more of a couples driven activity and not "bringing anything to the table" (hate that metaphore as it seems to make women almost a commodity) will rule you out for many if not most couples. Good luck.
The Evildoers
The Evildoers