To give a little background: So I've always seen the debate on whether you email someone back even if its a polite "thanks, but no thanks" and personally typically simply didn't respond. Lately I've decided I'd write a standard reply for friend requests I don't intend to accept as to let the person(s) know that it's not personal, but I'm not gonna accept the request....
Now: When I send the standard polite response back (whether I accept or not), I've received a large amount of rude replies about what a bitch I am for not accepting their internet friendship.
SOoooo: Why bitch that you want people say "thanks but no thanks" if you're just gonna be an asshat when you get that sort of reply? Hrmmmm?
DISCUSs.
lulz
Now: When I send the standard polite response back (whether I accept or not), I've received a large amount of rude replies about what a bitch I am for not accepting their internet friendship.
SOoooo: Why bitch that you want people say "thanks but no thanks" if you're just gonna be an asshat when you get that sort of reply? Hrmmmm?
DISCUSs.
lulzIf you hover over "MAILBOX" at the bottom you will see "Standard Letter"
You can write a custom little thing there and save it.
Then when you replay to someone, on the left hand side you'll see a list of usernames and underneath that a list of "Standard Letters". Pick the one you want and it pops up in the message section and you can then press "SEND".
There used to be a "group mail" feature as well so that you could send it to everyone on your friends list all at once without clicking thru all the usernames individually, but that's gone now.
You can write a custom little thing there and save it.
Then when you replay to someone, on the left hand side you'll see a list of usernames and underneath that a list of "Standard Letters". Pick the one you want and it pops up in the message section and you can then press "SEND".
There used to be a "group mail" feature as well so that you could send it to everyone on your friends list all at once without clicking thru all the usernames individually, but that's gone now.
I don't bother responding with anything if it's clear that the sender didn't read my profile. My profile states what needs to be done when sending a friend request. If they don't do it, why bother. If they didn't take the time to read it, why should I take the time to send an explanation of refusal. I have also noticed that when I send them a 'thanks but no thanks' most of the time I get a bitchy reply back. That's why I just ignore friend's requests I'm not gonna accept. That way they stay in a que and they can't resend it or get their panties in a bunch when I say no.
Just my .02 cents.
xox
Tammy
Just my .02 cents.
xox
Tammy
I look at it this way; keep replying and it helps seperate the assholes from the decent and understanding people that are greatful for getting some sort of reply so they aren't left wondering.
Also it would be nice if there was somewhere to write reviews on the people that are assholes. That way others can read up on them when they get online friend request.
Also it would be nice if there was somewhere to write reviews on the people that are assholes. That way others can read up on them when they get online friend request.
When I send a messege to someone I close with, If you're not interested good luck with your search.
I don't feel I need someone to say they're not interested no matter how nice they say it.
A no reply say's it all.
I don't feel I need someone to say they're not interested no matter how nice they say it.
A no reply say's it all.
REDNECK0811 wrote:
I look at it this way; keep replying and it helps seperate the assholes from the decent and understanding people that are greatful for getting some sort of reply so they aren't left wondering.
Also it would be nice if there was somewhere to write reviews on the people that are assholes. That way others can read up on them when they get online friend request.
I've had to start using my block button a lot more. If I just ignored them it seemed like they may or may not send repeat requests, but at least I didn't get this "well i didn't wanna fuck you anyways you ugly skankmonster" email sent back over to me. lulz.
in my general opinion of most things internet: guys... its the internet! quit taking online friend lists and anything else so freakin seriously.
We used to send replies, now we just delete. Don't care for the nasty replies coming from a nice thanks but no thanks.
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:
I don't bother responding with anything if it's clear that the sender didn't read my profile. My profile states what needs to be done when sending a friend request. If they don't do it, why bother. If they didn't take the time to read it, why should I take the time to send an explanation of refusal. I have also noticed that when I send them a 'thanks but no thanks' most of the time I get a bitchy reply back. That's why I just ignore friend's requests I'm not gonna accept. That way they stay in a que and they can't resend it or get their panties in a bunch when I say no.
Just my .02 cents.
xox
Tammy
What she said.
I don
Funny I was just talking to BLueeyes about this very thing today. I sent the thanks but no thanks to a "woman" who lives with her "hot" roommate in FL.
Her profile seems fake. She lives in anther state, So I wouldn't add her.
I got back "WELL I DONT NEED SOME FAT UGLY SKANK LIKE YOU ON MY FRIENDS LIST ANYWAY!"
on the laugh I had at her.. freaking crazy people.
Her profile seems fake. She lives in anther state, So I wouldn't add her.
I got back "WELL I DONT NEED SOME FAT UGLY SKANK LIKE YOU ON MY FRIENDS LIST ANYWAY!"
on the laugh I had at her.. freaking crazy people.
I personally appreciate the polite thanx but no thanx and express my appreciation of their cordiality!its just rude not to!
Truly amazing how quick some people turn on you. Single men get this kind of crap thrown at them all the time. Maybe that is why they send so few emails along with friend requests. Just because someone is in this lifestyle it does not necessarily mean that they are good people.
Hey short timer! Kitty, you wont have to worry about this for many more days. Good luck kid.
Blind FR's as I call them go into the pigpen Jail. There are 102 folks currently in my holding pen and counting who did not read our profile to see what we prefer or did not chat or email prior. I used to have this big blurp on our profile reminding folks to send an email with a FR but I dont even feel that is necessary so took it off. I feel if they are the type of folks who would send a blind FR it is the horny guy or if the couple we dont want to know them anyway. Period! I dont deny the Friend request because they will just get drunk and send another one. I just let them rot in Jail where they cant send another. Funny not one of the 102 has ever sent an email inquiring about the FR they sent.???
Blind FR's as I call them go into the pigpen Jail. There are 102 folks currently in my holding pen and counting who did not read our profile to see what we prefer or did not chat or email prior. I used to have this big blurp on our profile reminding folks to send an email with a FR but I dont even feel that is necessary so took it off. I feel if they are the type of folks who would send a blind FR it is the horny guy or if the couple we dont want to know them anyway. Period! I dont deny the Friend request because they will just get drunk and send another one. I just let them rot in Jail where they cant send another. Funny not one of the 102 has ever sent an email inquiring about the FR they sent.???
This is a good subject, I've always been on the receiving end of being ignored after writing email... in every situation, thanks to Kitty and Jeremyteal, I've seen both sides of the story first hand... my opinion is that it SUCKS when you take the time and effort to send correspondence to someone and they 'think' the nice way of saying no is "lets just ignore it!!" I don't think that is the nice way... it is extremely rude and disrespectful... really... I don't give a shit if I am told no thank you... I'll be disappointed for 1 second and then just go on with my life... plenty of fish in the sea... no need to mope over one.. but as Kitty stated... people don't like being told no... and can act like a total douche bag! I do know that there is a standard reply on the mail system... it is nice to know that it is there... you all can use it on me if you'd like "No thank you, Toy, you are a freak of nature!" haha j/k
I thought this topic was about blind FR's.. If folks send an email before a FR but I dont think we are a match I always reply in a honest respectful manner and try to give a reason. Not always the main reason. It seems to work ok with no hard feelings.
If I remember right Kitty is not big on FR's because all her pics are in public .?? folks folks use and see friends in different ways.. To some it is only for folks they want to play with for others anyone is allowed on it. Part of the problem is the limited function of the Friends list on this site.. I wish the software would let you have different groups of friends.
If I remember right Kitty is not big on FR's because all her pics are in public .?? folks folks use and see friends in different ways.. To some it is only for folks they want to play with for others anyone is allowed on it. Part of the problem is the limited function of the Friends list on this site.. I wish the software would let you have different groups of friends.
We have tried both as well. Either way, you end up with favorable/unfavorable results. Like the lifestyle itself, all people react a little differently. You just kind of have to get a feel for what they're gonna be, and hope it works. As for the blind requests, typically I'll just let them sit in the requests side so they can't send more, and if we don't see a message as to why they've sent the request, then they stay there in the friend request oblivion...
Kitty, at no point do I think you'll ever be an ugly skankmonster, although I laughed my ass off at the comment.
Kitty, at no point do I think you'll ever be an ugly skankmonster, although I laughed my ass off at the comment.
Hey Kitty..
I agree with others that some people are just ignorant. I was raised to be the bigger person, so I alllllways reply. Good, bad or other, I always do reply. I think everyone should reply as well. I have only ever gotten a jackass response from a few single guys. They did get blocked. For the most part though, we have had probably 95% good results. It sure does seem like it should be easier since we are all looking for the same thing and should ALL UNDERSTAND such simple things.
Now send me back a FRIEND REQUEST you skankmonster!!!! lol..... ;-)
Love ya hun.... Steve
I agree with others that some people are just ignorant. I was raised to be the bigger person, so I alllllways reply. Good, bad or other, I always do reply. I think everyone should reply as well. I have only ever gotten a jackass response from a few single guys. They did get blocked. For the most part though, we have had probably 95% good results. It sure does seem like it should be easier since we are all looking for the same thing and should ALL UNDERSTAND such simple things.
Now send me back a FRIEND REQUEST you skankmonster!!!! lol..... ;-)
Love ya hun.... Steve
I would like to add: For those that have really long profiles this is pretty much directed to you.
If you have ALLLLLLOTTTTTTT to say in your profile, most are NOT going to read it. Most of us will read many profiles in one night. It's allllot of work and sometimes monotonous. So I am even guilty of sending a fast email to someone that visually interests me.
Also many times I have chatted with peeps in the CHAT ROOM and sent them a friend request. Often I am not interested in them to bed down. Hell, most of you live in UTAH and I am in Florida!! I friend some of these people just because I had a great chat with them... Friending doesn't alllllways mean you want to FUCK THEM!!! On the other hand, I have traveled to Vegas for a MOPAR show and met someone from Utah there that came in just for me!! ;-) Yes, she is still on my friends list..
I recommend that everyone just be nice to everyone else. If you get a message saying NOT SEXUALLY INTERESTED, don't take it like someone just broke up with you blindly after dating since 2nd grade....
If you have ALLLLLLOTTTTTTT to say in your profile, most are NOT going to read it. Most of us will read many profiles in one night. It's allllot of work and sometimes monotonous. So I am even guilty of sending a fast email to someone that visually interests me.
Also many times I have chatted with peeps in the CHAT ROOM and sent them a friend request. Often I am not interested in them to bed down. Hell, most of you live in UTAH and I am in Florida!! I friend some of these people just because I had a great chat with them... Friending doesn't alllllways mean you want to FUCK THEM!!! On the other hand, I have traveled to Vegas for a MOPAR show and met someone from Utah there that came in just for me!! ;-) Yes, she is still on my friends list..
I recommend that everyone just be nice to everyone else. If you get a message saying NOT SEXUALLY INTERESTED, don't take it like someone just broke up with you blindly after dating since 2nd grade....
Been in the lifestyle trenches long enough to have gotten MANY mean nasty replies to a polite "thanks but no thanks". Not worth letting a troll cast a cloud on our day so we rarely respond if we aren't interested. As far as friend requests go we usually give peeps the benefit of the doubt and friend most. However if we don't hear back from them soon after friending them we revoke it. Just easier for us to keep our friends list manageable. Also we won't friend people who live too far away and likely would never meet or those who don't have any pics or any face pics in their private photos.
It would be nice if SWINGULAR would make a change to the FRIENDS thing all together. Many other sites use FAVORITES and Galleries. So if someone comes on and you have added them to FAVORITES, you will see your favorites that are on. The galleries are openable by TIME or forever and each gallery is opened individually. So if you cannot show your faces in (OPEN) pics due to your job or family or whatever you can open your (FACE) gallery. If things move forward from there you can open anything you like to a singe person.. Here if you OK as a friend, they see every picture you've got.
Everyone that is sending a FRIEND REQUEST should also be sending an EMAIL at the same time. This gives a little better idea who is asking and if you might be interested. We have received emails from people that cannot make a complete sentence or even a legible short note! These people NEVER make it onto our friends list. If they haven't the smarts to complete a single sentence, they are not for us..
Everyone that is sending a FRIEND REQUEST should also be sending an EMAIL at the same time. This gives a little better idea who is asking and if you might be interested. We have received emails from people that cannot make a complete sentence or even a legible short note! These people NEVER make it onto our friends list. If they haven't the smarts to complete a single sentence, they are not for us..