Believe it or not there are some really cool respectful single males out there and I'm one of them. It does not seem fair to ban the one's that know how to act. I would love to get feedback on this issue.
Because there are several married guys out there that set up "couple" profiles and then add some BS line in the additional comments to the effect of "this is the female half saying that he can play alone or i'm sick or i'm recovering from surgery or he has a permanent hall pass or I'm out of town" or any other myriad of BS lines that mean its some married guy out there trying to get over on the "swinger" system of trust. Additionally there are some single guys out there that are pushy, rude, disrespectful, arrogant, and just plain assholes. And unfortunately its the respectful single guy that suffers the backlash.
Good question.
Yes, the stereotype is that SMs are desperate trolls with the IQs of a cardboard box and no class or people skills begging and pleading to get into your pants. Sadly a few rotten apples might have spoiled the whole lot. But we all know that there ARE several SMs that this is not the case. They are courteous, respectful, have real personalities, non pushy and are a lot of fun. ( I kinda got me one of them good ones! lol) I understand that couples are just flat out sick to death of the asswipes who snake thru Swingular under the guise of single male and therefore are blocking them to limit their interaction with them as best as they can. Or some couples simply are NOT interested in single guys for sexual purposes.
I have plenty of friends on my friend's list that for some reason or the other choose not to play with SMs. However I have now as of yesterday decided to not accept any future friend's requests from those who block single males. Why? Because my other half and I use SINGLE profiles and we are a package deal. Even if we are playing alone, we want to know who the other is with and what they are all about. And if we play as a couple, the only way to contact him directly is thru his SM profile. And trust me, Jared IS worth contacting.
While there are few certain SMs I'd like to take a fresh pineapple and shove it up their ass sideways and light it on fire, I actually am most fond of the majority.
xox
Tammy
Yes, the stereotype is that SMs are desperate trolls with the IQs of a cardboard box and no class or people skills begging and pleading to get into your pants. Sadly a few rotten apples might have spoiled the whole lot. But we all know that there ARE several SMs that this is not the case. They are courteous, respectful, have real personalities, non pushy and are a lot of fun. ( I kinda got me one of them good ones! lol) I understand that couples are just flat out sick to death of the asswipes who snake thru Swingular under the guise of single male and therefore are blocking them to limit their interaction with them as best as they can. Or some couples simply are NOT interested in single guys for sexual purposes.
I have plenty of friends on my friend's list that for some reason or the other choose not to play with SMs. However I have now as of yesterday decided to not accept any future friend's requests from those who block single males. Why? Because my other half and I use SINGLE profiles and we are a package deal. Even if we are playing alone, we want to know who the other is with and what they are all about. And if we play as a couple, the only way to contact him directly is thru his SM profile. And trust me, Jared IS worth contacting.
While there are few certain SMs I'd like to take a fresh pineapple and shove it up their ass sideways and light it on fire, I actually am most fond of the majority.
xox
Tammy
He's probably talking about the Eyes Wide Open Soiree. And it's really has nothing to do with a few bad apples, because there's plenty of assholes (single, married, boys and girls) to go around. It comes down to one simple thing: Married guys don't want to pay for or attend an event where they can get cock-blocked by a single guy.
While there are few certain SMs I'd like to take a fresh pineapple and shove it up their ass sideways and light it on fire,
I just spit my Coke out when I read that...
I just spit my Coke out when I read that...
Those party groups are more focused on couples. The no single men thing is a advertising point for many of them. Most of us dont want to go to a party and be hit on by every creepy guy who had $75 to get in. Elite does let in select single men to some of their parties. I guess you're just going to have to ask the party group to find out though.
SLCSEXADDICT wrote:"Cock-Blocked?" What the hell does that mean? Maybe I'm mis-interpreting but that seems like an attitude right there that'd make you unpopular and one that my wife would suffer a severe eye-roll over. I'm the one bringing the available female. How the hell could I get "cock-blocked?" You apparently come prepared with only your hand, and yet I might get cock-blocked? REALLY? LOL, you can't be serious.
He's probably talking about the Eyes Wide Open Soiree. And it's really has nothing to do with a few bad apples, because there's plenty of assholes (single, married, boys and girls) to go around. It comes down to one simple thing: Married guys don't want to pay for or attend an event where they can get cock-blocked by a single guy.
I'd suspect that instead of such an arrogant explanation, there may be an easier one. At many of these parties the women partake of, well, each other, quite often. Even when it is a couples-only event that leaves more men available than women. (Given that the men aren't playing with each other).
On the other hand, we've no problems with having single men at parties and I don't think that my wife objects at all to having a wider selection available! LOL. Obviously it's not an issue for me as I've veto power over any of the arrogant types anyway, and my gal can certainly handle more than one guy, so it's virtually IMPOSSIBLE for me to get "cock-blocked," whatever the hell that is.
PUFFFFPAT wrote:
What upcoming parties have single males been banned from? Is this true? I dont think that will happen.
SM are not allow at the following two events, which is shameful.
Eyes wide open soiree and the Elite Utah Parties New Website launch party.
FUN4MWF wrote:
"Cock-Blocked?" What the hell does that mean? Maybe I'm mis-interpreting but that seems like an attitude right there that'd make you unpopular and one that my wife would suffer a severe eye-roll over. I'm the one bringing the available female. How the hell could I get "cock-blocked?" You apparently come prepared with only your hand, and yet I might get cock-blocked? REALLY? LOL, you can't be serious.
I'd suspect that instead of such an arrogant explanation, there may be an easier one. At many of these parties the women partake of, well, each other, quite often. Even when it is a couples-only event that leaves more men available than women. (Given that the men aren't playing with each other).
On the other hand, we've no problems with having single men at parties and I don't think that my wife objects at all to having a wider selection available! LOL. Obviously it's not an issue for me as I've veto power over any of the arrogant types anyway, and my gal can certainly handle more than one guy, so it's virtually IMPOSSIBLE for me to get "cock-blocked," whatever the hell that is.
Actually SLCSEXADDICT usually comes with his wife who is also a member here. LOL
But I think he has a point. There are some SM who go out of their way to cock block each other and in worst case scenarios...the spouse/SO of the female in question. I have seen this weird peeing on your territory behavior in person. You of course don't have that problem since you have no sharing hangups.
Hell. You all don't have any hangups period. Show off. 
*kiss*BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:Oh crap, the plot thickens. So some of the folks here are registered as a couple when they are actually single men and some singles are actually couples? Man, we're screwed. And not in a good way! LOL
Actually SLCSEXADDICT usually comes with his wife who is also a member here. LOL
But I think he has a point. There are some SM who go out of their way to cock block each other and in worst case scenarios...the spouse/SO of the female in question. I have seen this weird peeing on your territory behavior in person. You of course don't have that problem since you have no sharing hangups.
I'm still lost on the "cock-block" thing though, unless other couples are a lot different than us. If some guy tried to "cock-block" me or showed any disrespect at all, at least with my wife, he'd be gone. Immediately. Along with that thought, and your "(we)don't have any hangups" statement (you're sweet btw!), oh I've hangups! Once the wife had a guy friend who she saw too frequently and I kinda over-reacted. She dumped him faster'n a dirty diaper. Then I felt pretty stupid and realized I was being unnecessarily jealous and was like, "No, it'd be ok to see him again." Too late, she wasn't about to, basically stating that I was right that sticking too much to one guy wasn't quite kosher and she'd never see him again and there were lots of other fish in the sea anyway. So yeah, I can have my issues at times! But we're cool as a couple so it all works out. Perhaps that's my obvious problem with the whole "cock-blocking" concept -- I just don't see how it'd possibly happen?
PUFFFFPAT wrote:
Well we would take u with us then Rudeboy
Awwww, that is soooo sweet, but it say "NO SM ALLOWED". Thanks anyway!
PUFFFFPAT wrote:I see correspondence between him and my wife in our email, Puffffpat, I think my wife isn't going to like you much when she hears you "talking" that way!!
Well we would take u with us then Rudeboy
I know...I'm one of those mixed up people...in a relationship but have a single profile. However my profile does clearly state I'm in a relationship and I make a good attempt at pimping poor Jared out. Thank god he's ok with that. LOL
FYI. Don't be telling people I'm sweet. I think everyone just spit out their coffee. You should really meet me before spreading scary rumors like that. I can't be sweet...Too...Much....Pressure. Ok. I really need Starbucks now. That was too close for comfort. Thank god you guys are cool tho. Otherwise I'd be lost in this sea of alternative degenrate sex addicts.
FYI. Don't be telling people I'm sweet. I think everyone just spit out their coffee. You should really meet me before spreading scary rumors like that. I can't be sweet...Too...Much....Pressure. Ok. I really need Starbucks now. That was too close for comfort. Thank god you guys are cool tho. Otherwise I'd be lost in this sea of alternative degenrate sex addicts.
FUN4MWF wrote:PUFFFFPAT wrote:I see correspondence between him and my wife in our email, Puffffpat, I think my wife isn't going to like you much when she hears you "talking" that way!!
Well we would take u with us then Rudeboy
Too funny.....Hey hubby look forward to meeting you someday.
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:Oops, fooled ya. You didn't realize that we REALLY do fall into that category of " sea of alternative degenerate sex addicts" that you mention. I hope you can swim.
I know...I'm one of those mixed up people...in a relationship but have a single profile. However my profile does clearly state I'm in a relationship and I make a good attempt at pimping poor Jared out. Thank god he's ok with that. LOL
FYI. Don't be telling people I'm sweet. I think everyone just spit out their coffee. You should really meet me before spreading scary rumors like that. I can't be sweet...Too...Much....Pressure. Ok. I really need Starbucks now. That was too close for comfort. Thank god you guys are cool tho. Otherwise I'd be lost in this sea of alternative degenrate sex addicts.
WANNAPLAY2 wrote:
There are some jackass SM out there, but 95% of them are classy. We spend to much time worrying about the 5% that ruin it for everyone rather than the 95% that are fun,classy and just guys looking to have a good time like everyone else. We know rudeboynslc very well and have become personal friends with him. Lets not band them from events completely, if they need a referral letter to get in then i will write one for Rudeboy anytime.
WOW, Thanks Wannaplay2
Rudeboy is definitely one of the good ones.
It's a free country and anyone can plan their own party and invite whomever they wish.
If something is a problem for someone, fix it!
If something is a problem for someone, fix it!
DOUBLETHEFUN wrote:
Rudeboy is definitely one of the good ones.
Thanks Doublethefun
UTAHBADBOY wrote:CERTAINLY party hosts can make whatever rules they wish. But I think "fixing it" was the point here. I can't speak for him, but it seems like rudeboynslc was simply asking if something was broken in the first place that caused the larger party hosts lately to banish single males entirely. Did some single males do stupid things? Did couples complain about the number of single males present at recent parties? If just a few vocal couples complained about single males but most couples don't mind them at all, that might be a useful bit of information for these large party hosts to know?
It's a free country and anyone can plan their own party and invite whomever they wish.
If something is a problem for someone, fix it!
We've just never experienced problems with single males -- although we're not exactly party veterans either. We like meeting new people of whatever gender. I really don't care if there's more guys than gals at a party since, at a minimum, I'm gonna get mine, even if it's "just" with my own cute wife!!
I don't live out that way but know the feeling...when i go to a party that SM are actually invited to, I usually just socialize nad chill out and have a good time...if i get invited for anything else, then great..if not, no worries..but i totally also hate the creepy SM that walk around and hit on EVERYTHING that is around them and look like they haven't showered or groomed in years...seriously, how do people think that is okay?
It sucks to hear that some of the parties are excluding SM, but again this is a lifestyle of choices so I am sure there will be parties that SM's can attend. . .I would wish though that the parties allow in single males that have shown they are respectful (sponsored by a couple or verified by someone within the group).
Anyway, happy new year to you all! Have a great year of playing and Hopefully i will see some of you out there in Utah soon!
It sucks to hear that some of the parties are excluding SM, but again this is a lifestyle of choices so I am sure there will be parties that SM's can attend. . .I would wish though that the parties allow in single males that have shown they are respectful (sponsored by a couple or verified by someone within the group).
Anyway, happy new year to you all! Have a great year of playing and Hopefully i will see some of you out there in Utah soon!
Since were on the subject of single Guys, I am a single guy, new to the board and was informed of this board by a married couple. My question is, what is the best way to get started meeting people on here so I can become part of the % that is a nice guy.
FUN4MWF wrote:
"Cock-Blocked?" What the hell does that mean? Maybe I'm mis-interpreting but that seems like an attitude right there that'd make you unpopular and one that my wife would suffer a severe eye-roll over. I'm the one bringing the available female. How the hell could I get "cock-blocked?" You apparently come prepared with only your hand, and yet I might get cock-blocked? REALLY? LOL, you can't be serious.
I'd suspect that instead of such an arrogant explanation, there may be an easier one. At many of these parties the women partake of, well, each other, quite often. Even when it is a couples-only event that leaves more men available than women. (Given that the men aren't playing with each other).
On the other hand, we've no problems with having single men at parties and I don't think that my wife objects at all to having a wider selection available! LOL. Obviously it's not an issue for me as I've veto power over any of the arrogant types anyway, and my gal can certainly handle more than one guy, so it's virtually IMPOSSIBLE for me to get "cock-blocked," whatever the hell that is.
Completely serious actually. What happens is the wife (maybe knowingly, maybe not) spends a lot of time talking to a single male at a party. when it comes time to play, suddenly she's not on the same page as you with another couple, and guess who doesn't get to play? Congratulations, you got cock-blocked from playing with another (random) couple because your wife's time got sucked into a single guy.
I've also seen the same thing happen to couples when an aggressively bi woman does the same thing, and she has no intention of playing with the husband.
Now, we are also talking about party marketing here, and most couples like to identify themselves as a full swap couple. Obviously your situation is different.
I've been involved in the lifestyle as a couple and as a single guy for a long time, and I've seen this happen over and over again.
SLCSEXADDICT wrote:I guess I see what you're saying but it was difficult for me to see because my wife and I are so on the same page. If she was really into some guy and wanted to do an MFM thing more than I was into the other couple for MFMF than we'd go her route or vice/versa! We'd both know where we were headed before anyone was disappointed though and we'd rather be responsible for who we play with than to have single males arbitrarily excluded. But yeah, we don't "fit" a particular category very well such as "full swap" other than we like to play and have fun -- in whatever configuration that ultimately turns out.
Completely serious actually. What happens is the wife (maybe knowingly, maybe not) spends a lot of time talking to a single male at a party. when it comes time to play, suddenly she's not on the same page as you with another couple, and guess who doesn't get to play? Congratulations, you got cock-blocked from playing with another (random) couple because your wife's time got sucked into a single guy.
I've also seen the same thing happen to couples when an aggressively bi woman does the same thing, and she has no intention of playing with the husband.
Now, we are also talking about party marketing here, and most couples like to identify themselves as a full swap couple. Obviously your situation is different.
I've been involved in the lifestyle as a couple and as a single guy for a long time, and I've seen this happen over and over again.
BTW, thanks for such a great response and not taking my initial response personally!!
[quote=ONEIODA]Since were on the subject of single Guys, I am a single guy, new to the board and was informed of this board by a married couple. My question is, what is the best way to get started meeting people on here so I can become part of the % that is a nice guy./quote]
For starters, have a profile picture. It is also extremely important that you read people's profiles thoroughly before contacting them. We state right in our profile that we don't accept friend requests from single males and I am amazed at how many we get. In fact, we've had three this week that have sent repeated requests after being denied which is exactly the clueless, pushy, picture hungry behavior that gives SMs a bad name. The single males we like (and yes, there are many) are the ones that are friendly, HONEST and dependable. The best thing to do is go to whatever parties that you can and just be your sexy self. One of our favorite single males is one that made friends with our male half at a party, didn't hit on the female. It wasn't long before our male half was asking our female half if she wanted to fuck this very nice respectful SM and telling SM to help himself.
For starters, have a profile picture. It is also extremely important that you read people's profiles thoroughly before contacting them. We state right in our profile that we don't accept friend requests from single males and I am amazed at how many we get. In fact, we've had three this week that have sent repeated requests after being denied which is exactly the clueless, pushy, picture hungry behavior that gives SMs a bad name. The single males we like (and yes, there are many) are the ones that are friendly, HONEST and dependable. The best thing to do is go to whatever parties that you can and just be your sexy self. One of our favorite single males is one that made friends with our male half at a party, didn't hit on the female. It wasn't long before our male half was asking our female half if she wanted to fuck this very nice respectful SM and telling SM to help himself.
We have NEVER been to an event that allowed single men to attend where there were not problems. Group parties are not a place for single guys to show up hoping to score with someone's wife or girlfriend.
Whe have had some fantastic times with single males and from time to time we will have one over for some play time. We have invited single males to our house parties, however, we also invited single females to be their dates for the games. In both cercumstances there was never a problem and the single gals ended up playing to some extent with the single males after some group games.
But large private or public parties, please always exclude them. Keep in mind, they choose to be single, if they claim they are completely normal as normal is, then invite a date, then your a single male with a date and welcome to attend.
And I might add, when the profile states single males we will contact you, what do single males ignore that.
Sure it's been said already. Yes the few ruin it for the many great single guys out there. I think the lifestyle should get some balls, and have a list that identifies the great ones and the ones everyone should steer clear of.
Whe have had some fantastic times with single males and from time to time we will have one over for some play time. We have invited single males to our house parties, however, we also invited single females to be their dates for the games. In both cercumstances there was never a problem and the single gals ended up playing to some extent with the single males after some group games.
But large private or public parties, please always exclude them. Keep in mind, they choose to be single, if they claim they are completely normal as normal is, then invite a date, then your a single male with a date and welcome to attend.
And I might add, when the profile states single males we will contact you, what do single males ignore that.
Sure it's been said already. Yes the few ruin it for the many great single guys out there. I think the lifestyle should get some balls, and have a list that identifies the great ones and the ones everyone should steer clear of.
PLAINOLDME77 wrote:
Being a single male i have busted my but to ensure that i don fallow in the foot steps of those before me. I have tried to prove to the community that i can respect people, treat them well and not be a salivating mut waiting for table scraps. I do still have a few thoughts about the single male issue but i know the restrictions are there for a reason, not just to be descriminating.
damn newbie single male scored coupled status pretty quick. it's got to be that boyish charm...good manners...and the fact I finally got lucky.
Oh not to mention you freakin rock in bed. Yes. That was my outside voice....xox
Tammy
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:PLAINOLDME77 wrote:
Being a single male i have busted my but to ensure that i don fallow in the foot steps of those before me. I have tried to prove to the community that i can respect people, treat them well and not be a salivating mut waiting for table scraps. I do still have a few thoughts about the single male issue but i know the restrictions are there for a reason, not just to be descriminating.
damn newbie single male scored coupled status pretty quick. it's got to be that boyish charm...good manners...and the fact I finally got lucky.
xox
Tammy
Sheesh ... get a room! Oh wait, you two have one! LOL
I have been on here and previously another site for many years and have met some amazing couples and friends. I have never had a desire to go to a large party yet so I type this from a different perspective than those who really want to attend them. I have just enjoyed meeting select friends individually who I know are interested. I am an extrovert and love meeting new friends, but going stag to a party even though I know I would likely know many friends and probably would have a great time socializing just hasn't interest me.
I can imagine the parties might attract some desperate, socially awkward guys, or even social retards. Regardless of if the guys attending are respectful gentleman or complete freaks, reading the concerns and knowing many couples would rather not have single guys at the party just makes me that much less interested personally even when invited to go with friends. I know many guys would like to attend and some couples prefer they be invited. It's unfortunate there have been some bad experiences. I can appreciate how couples might feel that way once they have had experienced anything less than positive. It seems like the negativity goes in waves and from time to time I read concerns on here about the "Single Guys" at parties. Lately I have talked with many couples who have actually said they prefer single guys since one of them usually doesn't click with the others in couples. Ultimately I think the party host has right and should set rules based on how they want the environment, realizing including or excluding will impact the numbers and revenue of the party. Revenue and numbers on Swingular site however from single guys have helped this site success and development so reading the negative forums on the site at times has made me wonder if I want to get on here anymore, but then I remember how many incredible friends I have met on here. So.... Thank you to all the amazing couples (and singles) on here that make this site so awesome! I look forward to getting together with friend, and meeting new friends this upcoming year. HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of you!!!
I can imagine the parties might attract some desperate, socially awkward guys, or even social retards.
Regardless of if the guys attending are respectful gentleman or complete freaks, reading the concerns and knowing many couples would rather not have single guys at the party just makes me that much less interested personally even when invited to go with friends. I know many guys would like to attend and some couples prefer they be invited. It's unfortunate there have been some bad experiences. I can appreciate how couples might feel that way once they have had experienced anything less than positive. It seems like the negativity goes in waves and from time to time I read concerns on here about the "Single Guys" at parties. Lately I have talked with many couples who have actually said they prefer single guys since one of them usually doesn't click with the others in couples. Ultimately I think the party host has right and should set rules based on how they want the environment, realizing including or excluding will impact the numbers and revenue of the party. Revenue and numbers on Swingular site however from single guys have helped this site success and development so reading the negative forums on the site at times has made me wonder if I want to get on here anymore, but then I remember how many incredible friends I have met on here. So.... Thank you to all the amazing couples (and singles) on here that make this site so awesome! I look forward to getting together with friend, and meeting new friends this upcoming year. HAPPY NEW YEAR to all of you!!!I totally get the males with couple sponsor only thing. I have only had one bad couple experience, but hear from couples that they have had bad experiences with guys not who they say they are and with inaccurate pictures. I get the sponsor thing for us single guys and actually really think it's a good idea. It would be an even better idea if one of my couple friends was going and wanted to sponsor!
If its couples only they should exclude the single females aswell
Our very first swing experience was with an awesome, respectful, hell of a lot of fun SM. We didn't know "enough" to be scared off by his status.... AND, we have been fed a line of bull by a SM who wasn't and didn't have permission...
It's a dilemma. I would never want to be part of deceiving someone's wife or partner. Swing is about open sexuality, no fear of upset, etc. So you have to be somewhat cautious in evaluating play partners. But you have to be that way with couples and/or SF's too. So just flat out banning SM's from events doesn't seem fair or effective to me. Ban the ones who abuse the system,get reported,etc., just like you would ban any couple or female who did the same. This is a small community - word gets around fairly quickly about problems with drama or misrepresentation. Let's not miss the opportunity to get to know some great guys, just cos there are some who don't PLAY fair....
AND, we have been fed a line of bull by a SM who wasn't and didn't have permission...It's a dilemma. I would never want to be part of deceiving someone's wife or partner. Swing is about open sexuality, no fear of upset, etc. So you have to be somewhat cautious in evaluating play partners. But you have to be that way with couples and/or SF's too. So just flat out banning SM's from events doesn't seem fair or effective to me. Ban the ones who abuse the system,get reported,etc., just like you would ban any couple or female who did the same. This is a small community - word gets around fairly quickly about problems with drama or misrepresentation. Let's not miss the opportunity to get to know some great guys, just cos there are some who don't PLAY fair....
hello im a single guy and yes thair are some real bone heads out thair .so far i dont have this problum just treat a lady like a lady and the word will get around most of my play friends are couples .what a great bunch you ere thanks for litting me in .Jerry
Just wondering... If you're one of those awesome single men, why is your handle rudeboy? Maybe that's part of your problem. Probably some sort of joke or nickname, but since we don't know you... Plus I'm blonde... Hmmm. Maybe it's just me. Nevermind.
Rudeboy is the true definition of respectful SM! I would trust you anytime anywhere with my sexy wife my friend!!
Clearly there are sufficient single guys causing problems to warrant such an action. It is not unusual to simply eliminate the possibility of a problem instead of sorting through the good and bad. It is unfortunate but that is the reality.
UTAHSEEKER wrote:
Sheesh ... get a room! Oh wait, you two have one! LOL
Need directions? *smooch*
We've met good and bad SM's. To be honest, we've had more problems with married men than any SM.
ALLWENEEDISU wrote:
Those party groups are more focused on couples. The no single men thing is a advertising point for many of them. Most of us dont want to go to a party and be hit on by every creepy guy who had $75 to get in. Elite does let in select single men to some of their parties. I guess you're just going to have to ask the party group to find out though.
Elite didn't allow single males at their christmas party. they used to do select approved single males, but for the xmas party, no single males were allowed at all. (at least that's what i was told when i emailed the host about it.)
KNR84088 wrote:
Rudeboy is the true definition of respectful SM! I would trust you anytime anywhere with my sexy wife my friend!!
Ditto on that. Rudeboy is definitely the exception to the "nasty single male" stereotype. He's nothing but respectful and polite whilst fun at the same time.
And in general response to the post, I'm also sad that all single males are disincluded lately. I liked the rule where they had to be validated and known first or a couple had to vouch for and claim responsibility for the newbie SM.
I would say close to 75% of single males, or acting single males, are not really in the lifestyle. And therein lies most of the problems. Very rarely does a SM that is in the lifestyle FOR the lifestyle cause problems, and most of those are a lack of communication.
Most of the single males however are NOT in the lifestyle and see the females of a couple as simply there looking for sex, and often see the male halves as cuckolds. These are the ones that contact couples that state "no single males" because they just send out blanket emails to everyone, they go in to couples only areas at clubs, they grab women they don't know, and mostly they aren't interested in learning the rules but go by the various stories they have read in Penthouse Forums and off the internet.
I am definitely a "no single males" person, but I don't see why they should be excluded from events out of hand. I know several events where SM's are allowed only if a couple vouches for them, and if the SM gets out of hand he is banned, as is the couple.
As for people thinking it's a small percent of SM's that cause all the problems, nothing kills a club faster than large numbers of SM's because the couples stop going where they feel harassed. If it was only a small % that caused problems I doubt people would stop going to favored clubs or parties simply because 1 or 2 SM's out of the 100 there were creating issues.
Side note: I agree, with a name like Rudeboy it really does seem funny that you started a threat like this. And no, I don't know you, just going by the screen name. And yes, my SN does mean I'm a geek.
Most of the single males however are NOT in the lifestyle and see the females of a couple as simply there looking for sex, and often see the male halves as cuckolds. These are the ones that contact couples that state "no single males" because they just send out blanket emails to everyone, they go in to couples only areas at clubs, they grab women they don't know, and mostly they aren't interested in learning the rules but go by the various stories they have read in Penthouse Forums and off the internet.
I am definitely a "no single males" person, but I don't see why they should be excluded from events out of hand. I know several events where SM's are allowed only if a couple vouches for them, and if the SM gets out of hand he is banned, as is the couple.
As for people thinking it's a small percent of SM's that cause all the problems, nothing kills a club faster than large numbers of SM's because the couples stop going where they feel harassed. If it was only a small % that caused problems I doubt people would stop going to favored clubs or parties simply because 1 or 2 SM's out of the 100 there were creating issues.
Side note: I agree, with a name like Rudeboy it really does seem funny that you started a threat like this. And no, I don't know you, just going by the screen name. And yes, my SN does mean I'm a geek.
do or dont....your loss
SM's are not the only ones that are not being allowed to the Elite Utah Parties events...
GEORGESGURL wrote:GEORGESGURL wrote:
Just wondering... If you're one of those awesome single men, why is your handle rudeboy? Maybe that's part of your problem. Probably some sort of joke or nickname, but since we don't know you... Plus I'm blonde... Hmmm. Maybe it's just me. Nevermind.
I am far from rude, as a matter of fact I am an Officer and a gentleman. I got the handle from the popluar dance song "Rude boy" by Rihanna. Look it up on YouTube and tell me what you think? And if you want to find out what I'm about in person we can arrange that as well.
KNR84088 wrote:
Rudeboy is the true definition of respectful SM! I would trust you anytime anywhere with my sexy wife my friend!!
Thanks KNR84088 for trusting me with the sexy wife.
HELLO_KITTY12984 wrote:KNR84088 wrote:
Rudeboy is the true definition of respectful SM! I would trust you anytime anywhere with my sexy wife my friend!!
Ditto on that. Rudeboy is definitely the exception to the "nasty single male" stereotype. He's nothing but respectful and polite whilst fun at the same time.
Thanks for those kind words Hello_Kitty and good luck on your career in the finest ARMY in the world.
This is from "him": Most important to me is my partners safety and that she is treated with respect. I want her to have fun, but If I get a bad vibe or don't feel comfortable with a guy, he doesn't have a chance. That being said, I totally agree with what Kitty said, I like single males being allowed when they are sponsored by a couple or validated. Having been a single male for a short while, I was able to see the lifestyle from a different perspective. I've had the opportunity to attend clubs that allowed single males and I totally agree with Darknladyjedi's quote: "Nothing kills a club faster than large numbers of SM's because the couples stop going where they feel harassed". I witnessed that first hand. I think that came as a result of single guys not in the lifestyle attending and thinking it was a free for all.
Am I against single guys? Not one bit. She has fantasies and I like hearing her stories after she has been with a guy. We are open to single guys on our profile. The problem is that even after clearly explaining in our profile what we're looking for, a majority of the guys do not read our profile; And we know this because we continue to get blank friends requests from pictureless profiles with one line descriptions.
So single guys, put some thought and effort into it. You're looking to get into what is primarily a couples game. Show respect, introduce yourselves, attend meet N greets and you will get known. I know there are great single guys out there. We have met them and they continue to be friends.
-Joe-
Am I against single guys? Not one bit. She has fantasies and I like hearing her stories after she has been with a guy. We are open to single guys on our profile. The problem is that even after clearly explaining in our profile what we're looking for, a majority of the guys do not read our profile; And we know this because we continue to get blank friends requests from pictureless profiles with one line descriptions.
So single guys, put some thought and effort into it. You're looking to get into what is primarily a couples game. Show respect, introduce yourselves, attend meet N greets and you will get known. I know there are great single guys out there. We have met them and they continue to be friends.
-Joe-
This is from "her": I think that guys enjoy a lot of women around them at parties, just like I enjoy a lot of men around me at parties. In my opinion, single males as well as single females, should be allowed at the parties as long as they are brought by, or sponsored by, a couple. I have met several single males that I look forward to seeing at all the get-togethers. Maybe I want to bring a couple SM with us to the parties for my own fantasies to be fulfilled.
As far as the theory of SM being rude or presumptuous, I have seen many married men who are looking for a free for all or who are pushy/overbearing too. All men, and women for that matter, need to be respectful, courteous and caring in their approaches and behaviors. It's all in the attitude and manner. Get comfortable with me, have a chance with him. Get comfortable with him, have a chance with me.
-Debbi
As far as the theory of SM being rude or presumptuous, I have seen many married men who are looking for a free for all or who are pushy/overbearing too. All men, and women for that matter, need to be respectful, courteous and caring in their approaches and behaviors. It's all in the attitude and manner. Get comfortable with me, have a chance with him. Get comfortable with him, have a chance with me.
-Debbi
Our group, (Tampa Bay Lifestylers), has a handful of single males. They are a select few. These guys are known around the area as decent respectable guys. They know how to work a room without "COCK BLOCKING" or pissing in anyone's corn flakes because they pay attention to the room. Most are smart enough to sort of lay back and watch. They know that all the couples or single women that ARE looking for a SM to join in will ask (if they don't already know), if there are SM's there. Our group does not play on the premise that (I AM GETTING LAID NO MATTER WHAT), and the guys know this. So none of these guys feel the need to push anyone. They also realize there will be more parties and that everyone is comfortable with them at a party they will be invited back again and again..
There are WAY more BI women in the lifestyle and this usually means that married guys are more likely to stand there. This makes for even less room for single men as well. COUPLES, (Which is where SWINGING came from), are more frequently looking for additional WOMEN to join in, thus brings in the single woman. Yes, there are the peeps looking for a single man to join or just take the wife away for play alone, but it is far less frequent. Therefore most groups and clubs are allowing all single women and only a few single men..
I have also heard couples talking about removing SM all together from parties and clubs. My thoughts are simple but controversial. I think SWINGING is a COUPLES thing. All singles are just dating or becoming "SWINGERS" to just plain get laid.. To me, and don't get pissy, if I were a single man and could get away with joining the SWINGER WORLD, I would do it in a minute because most in the lifestyle are in it SOLELY for sex.. Like a drunk working in a bar.
Just a note for you single guys. Sit back and watch. Don't be pushy or try to impress women with your job or your possessions. They DON'T give a SHIT about what you do or where you live or your HARLEY. If they are interested in you it is all about your body and your COCK!!! So try laying back and letting them come to you. I know this works VERY VERY WELL for my single male buddy..
There are WAY more BI women in the lifestyle and this usually means that married guys are more likely to stand there. This makes for even less room for single men as well. COUPLES, (Which is where SWINGING came from), are more frequently looking for additional WOMEN to join in, thus brings in the single woman. Yes, there are the peeps looking for a single man to join or just take the wife away for play alone, but it is far less frequent. Therefore most groups and clubs are allowing all single women and only a few single men..
I have also heard couples talking about removing SM all together from parties and clubs. My thoughts are simple but controversial. I think SWINGING is a COUPLES thing. All singles are just dating or becoming "SWINGERS" to just plain get laid.. To me, and don't get pissy, if I were a single man and could get away with joining the SWINGER WORLD, I would do it in a minute because most in the lifestyle are in it SOLELY for sex.. Like a drunk working in a bar.
Just a note for you single guys. Sit back and watch. Don't be pushy or try to impress women with your job or your possessions. They DON'T give a SHIT about what you do or where you live or your HARLEY. If they are interested in you it is all about your body and your COCK!!! So try laying back and letting them come to you. I know this works VERY VERY WELL for my single male buddy..
PEGBUNDY wrote:
SM are not the only ones not allowed to attend the Elite Utah Parties - just sayin.
they're also not eliminating guests based on what the rumor mill says. i've been to the parties and if the rumors were true, 50+% of the guests would never have made it thru the door.
although that subject is a whole 'nother can of worms. lets the routine fight thread... BEGIN lulz.Hello-Kitty is right.. Around here they call 3rd's or a single male coming with a NON-REGULAR single women a "TICKET". Many are saying "NO MORE TICKETS" around here already.
Here is another thing I hear often. How do I tell a guy friend or someone not close, but I know, that I DON'T want to bring them with me)? This is another reason many are saying, (NO TICKETS).. It makes it easier on others that are nagged to bring someone. Also have heard that this is a big reason many have gone to (ONE AND DONE).
Everyone must try to understand one thing. We have parties to put people together. A GREAT PARTY is when many, most or all people play and have a great time... We've had 2 parties in the last 45 days. 1st party was off the hook. Second was just a little better than OK.. Difference is we didn't cut the list to those we knew are regular players that know how to mingle and mix. So what is the answer?????
Here is another thing I hear often. How do I tell a guy friend or someone not close, but I know, that I DON'T want to bring them with me)? This is another reason many are saying, (NO TICKETS).. It makes it easier on others that are nagged to bring someone. Also have heard that this is a big reason many have gone to (ONE AND DONE).
Everyone must try to understand one thing. We have parties to put people together. A GREAT PARTY is when many, most or all people play and have a great time... We've had 2 parties in the last 45 days. 1st party was off the hook. Second was just a little better than OK.. Difference is we didn't cut the list to those we knew are regular players that know how to mingle and mix. So what is the answer?????
All parties should be by consent or invitation only. If someone behaves badly, uninvite them. It should be that simple.
I am always amused at the single guy discussions and the assumption by some that it is the male half of a couple that complains and shuts out the single males. Every other discussion in the lifestyle generally recognizes that it is the female that runs the show here. So go figure!! Therefore I don
I am always amused at the single guy discussions and the assumption by some that it is the male half of a couple that complains and shuts out the single males. Every other discussion in the lifestyle generally recognizes that it is the female that runs the show here. So go figure!! Therefore I don
First off, let me introduce ourselves, My name is Dan and My darker half is Tasha, one hot chocolate martini We have yet to make it out to many parties, as a couple but did manage to do so the other night with tbl and had a blast. Great people, relaxed, no "you gotta go home with me because I showed up" complexes were evident. Having been on both sides of the fence, I actually wrote an article a few years ago called "being swingle", kind of ironic? no? lol. Playing as a single male comes down to at least for me at the time to enjoying threesomes, group, and the stress free situation of "dating". It was easier to hang out with couples who were friends, but in reality, the third wheel complex eventually sets in. There is an etiquette to it. Always add to the party, never look to "loot it", or "steal the cookie" as Tasha puts it. Kinda like showing up at your friends house when moms got food cooking, you know your gonna eat, but don't dare reach for the big piece of chicken lmao. Unfortunately, like all of us at some point in their lives there was that one time at band camp...oops wait, that's another story... back to the point, sometime in our lives we run into the one alpha male super stud God's gift to women who all should bow down and adore...*(pause to hurl)* who just doesn't understand that not every woman at the party wants to, needs to, or even remotely desires to be on his menu. Tasha said it much less kind these guys do make an impact, cause issues, and otherwise can ruin the hours of planning and expense that the hosts have put in to see that the party is a great one! Rules should be as simple as an RSVP Invitation, with a Plus one if a couple wishes to bring a single male who they can personally vouch for. It also let's the plus one have someone they can play with and not feel the need to bunny hop the honey pots But I digress, Single guys, its as simple as coming out to the less "house party" type events and let people get to know you, then you may be invited to the more intimate parties. There are REAL stamps on this site, earn em. Problem solved.
As for how the rest of us that I know of feel about the whole thing? Swinging is like the intelligent gentleman said before, swinging is for swingers, swingers are couples, wanna add party favors, bring your own...and share them if you like. Personally, and realistically, the couples who play and enjoy this lifestyle together at least have some semblance of security knowing the general family of people who are playing are committed to being safe for their playmates and their spouses/selves.
Stepping off 3am soapbox and curling up with a chocolate bunny, think i'm gonna nibble her ear...if I can keep the dog from ear blocking me lmao
We have yet to make it out to many parties, as a couple but did manage to do so the other night with tbl and had a blast. Great people, relaxed, no "you gotta go home with me because I showed up" complexes were evident. Having been on both sides of the fence, I actually wrote an article a few years ago called "being swingle", kind of ironic? no? lol. Playing as a single male comes down to at least for me at the time to enjoying threesomes, group, and the stress free situation of "dating". It was easier to hang out with couples who were friends, but in reality, the third wheel complex eventually sets in. There is an etiquette to it. Always add to the party, never look to "loot it", or "steal the cookie" as Tasha puts it. Kinda like showing up at your friends house when moms got food cooking, you know your gonna eat, but don't dare reach for the big piece of chicken lmao. Unfortunately, like all of us at some point in their lives there was that one time at band camp...oops wait, that's another story... back to the point, sometime in our lives we run into the one alpha male super stud God's gift to women who all should bow down and adore...*(pause to hurl)* who just doesn't understand that not every woman at the party wants to, needs to, or even remotely desires to be on his menu. Tasha said it much less kind these guys do make an impact, cause issues, and otherwise can ruin the hours of planning and expense that the hosts have put in to see that the party is a great one! Rules should be as simple as an RSVP Invitation, with a Plus one if a couple wishes to bring a single male who they can personally vouch for. It also let's the plus one have someone they can play with and not feel the need to bunny hop the honey pots But I digress, Single guys, its as simple as coming out to the less "house party" type events and let people get to know you, then you may be invited to the more intimate parties. There are REAL stamps on this site, earn em. Problem solved. As for how the rest of us that I know of feel about the whole thing? Swinging is like the intelligent gentleman said before, swinging is for swingers, swingers are couples, wanna add party favors, bring your own...and share them if you like. Personally, and realistically, the couples who play and enjoy this lifestyle together at least have some semblance of security knowing the general family of people who are playing are committed to being safe for their playmates and their spouses/selves.
Stepping off 3am soapbox and curling up with a chocolate bunny, think i'm gonna nibble her ear...if I can keep the dog from ear blocking me
lmao