Who else is having trouble finding someone to play with in their area? We have had the hardest time finding someone to play with. Not really sure what the reason but it is a lil stressful. Share tips and opinions and your luck with us.
Step one: Lose the dude in the ballcap.
Just fucking with ya
Seriously, each site is very regional. Swingular is mostly split between Utah and Florida, and not a lot of the FL peeps post much in the forums or look around much.
Do a search of who all is within range of you and start from there.
Get validated. I know a lot of people bitch about how validation doesn't mean shit, yadda yadda yadda... Bullshit. Validation is a method to try and limit fakes. If someone wants to friend us, they need to be validated. We'll happily meet with local people, and even validate them, but if they aren't already validated I start from the assumption they are fake and won't show. Makes me pleasantly surprised when they do, and doesn't disappoint when they don't.
After you are validated and see who all is in your area, see about throwing a party. Doesn't have to be anything more than a casual get together at a local place for drinks and vanilla dancing. Let's people meet and expand on the number of validated people. And let's people start to know who they might like to hook up with later.
Hope this helps.
Just fucking with ya
Seriously, each site is very regional. Swingular is mostly split between Utah and Florida, and not a lot of the FL peeps post much in the forums or look around much.
Do a search of who all is within range of you and start from there.
Get validated. I know a lot of people bitch about how validation doesn't mean shit, yadda yadda yadda... Bullshit. Validation is a method to try and limit fakes. If someone wants to friend us, they need to be validated. We'll happily meet with local people, and even validate them, but if they aren't already validated I start from the assumption they are fake and won't show. Makes me pleasantly surprised when they do, and doesn't disappoint when they don't.
After you are validated and see who all is in your area, see about throwing a party. Doesn't have to be anything more than a casual get together at a local place for drinks and vanilla dancing. Let's people meet and expand on the number of validated people. And let's people start to know who they might like to hook up with later.
Hope this helps.
Thats good advise, I planned on starting a group in the Tallahassee area in January through local night spots and offering discounts for lodging to boot. But I'm not getting rid of my ballcap til she tells me to...Upfront
I'm in north Carolina, bored! So luckily I'm back in Utah for the holidays,
All great advise above. Add to that: Look for GROUPS in your area. We have been in the lifestyle 4 years and since joining our local group, (TBL), Tampa Bay Lifestylers, our options have jumped 100 fold. Try some house parties. Google (swinger resorts and clubs in your area). And GO OUT!!!! Those who sit home and wait for people to come to them in rural areas will sit lonely. Get out and meet people.
thanks so much for the advise. hope you all have a great day. merry christmas and have a happy new year
But also keep in mind, just because someone is local to you doesn't mean they'll have any interest - or be friends.
Many people are looking for a a certain thing or things in their friends, and those who do not meet that criteria need not apply.
Many people are looking for a a certain thing or things in their friends, and those who do not meet that criteria need not apply.
think its tough in areas try being in wyoming.... there is a good following in utah but wyoming is real desolate........ D n C
WE HAVE DONE ALL THE THINGS THAT EVERYONE HAS TALKED ABOUT FOR THE PAST 2 YEARS... WE HAVE DROVE HUNDRED OF MILES, BOISE, & POCATELLO IDAHO, S.L.C., OGDEN, OREM, P.C, & VERNAL UT, ROCK SPRINGS WY, YOU GET THE IDEA.. TO MEET & GREATS, CLUB AFTER CLUB DIFFERENT STATES, EVEN MADE ARRANGEMENTS TO MEET PEOPLE THEN WHEN WE GET THERE THEY EITHER DON'T SHOW OR HAVE SOMETHING COME UP AT LAST MIN.. SO WE ARE OVER IT ALL AND THINKING ITS TIME TI GIVE UP ON ANY FANTASY WE HAVE AND JUST LET THEM GO AND JUST BE US AND WATCH THE BI & LESBIAN MOVES WE HAVE.. THAT'S OUT 2 CENTS, AND WHO KNOWS A NEW YEAR IS COMING SO YOU MIGHT SEE US OR WE MIGHT JUST FADE AWAY..
EVERYONE HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A GREAT NEW YEAR...
EVERYONE HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A GREAT NEW YEAR...
We've e-mailed folks as far away as the opposite coast, just to say hello, with nothing threatening about it.
And been ignored.
We've also e-mailed folks in our own postal zip code (as close as less than 1 mile away) with the exact same message - and been ignored.
So many people are looking for what they're looking for and that's as far as it goes.
Everyone else has leprosy.
Forget the fact that profiles say looking for friends in AND OUT of bed.
That appears to be an obligatory bull shit comment for a lot of folks.
At best, it's a crap shoot.
As the old saying goes, "you can pick your relations - but you can't pick your relatives".
And in the end - we all pick our relations.
And been ignored.
We've also e-mailed folks in our own postal zip code (as close as less than 1 mile away) with the exact same message - and been ignored.
So many people are looking for what they're looking for and that's as far as it goes.
Everyone else has leprosy.
Forget the fact that profiles say looking for friends in AND OUT of bed.
That appears to be an obligatory bull shit comment for a lot of folks.
At best, it's a crap shoot.
As the old saying goes, "you can pick your relations - but you can't pick your relatives".
And in the end - we all pick our relations.
RAMIT, you could be 100 % correct - and you could also be totally off base.
In any event, how and why would we ever expect any of the "perfect" folks on here to take an interest in us LESS than perfect folks?
Obviously, their dance cards are so full with meeting each other, they just don't have the time for us commoners.
It's really a shame, too, because I'm sure a lot of great people on here are missing out on a chance to meet with other great people, just because they're too picky.
Yes, we too have criteria mentioned in our profile, but it certainly comes nowhere near the elitist mandates of many others.
As an example, we have no interest in playing with folks younger than our kids, but we're not looking for perfection otherwise.
We've been here on Swingular for some time now, and we've looked at a lot of photos (including those of the "PERFECT" people), and ya know what?
We have yet to see any Blue Ribbons hanging on ANY of them.
In any event, how and why would we ever expect any of the "perfect" folks on here to take an interest in us LESS than perfect folks?
Obviously, their dance cards are so full with meeting each other, they just don't have the time for us commoners.
It's really a shame, too, because I'm sure a lot of great people on here are missing out on a chance to meet with other great people, just because they're too picky.
Yes, we too have criteria mentioned in our profile, but it certainly comes nowhere near the elitist mandates of many others.
As an example, we have no interest in playing with folks younger than our kids, but we're not looking for perfection otherwise.
We've been here on Swingular for some time now, and we've looked at a lot of photos (including those of the "PERFECT" people), and ya know what?
We have yet to see any Blue Ribbons hanging on ANY of them.
You have no idea how hard it is in California. We miss the SLC days and multiple bootie calls. Here in California the most prominent website to meet other "lifestylers" besides craigslist (and we all know what cl is like), we have found is SLS, and there are more flakes on that site than a Kellogg's cereal factory. Utah peeps we envy you!
Very limited couples who actually want to meet in our area. We have offered to drive to SLC, Pocatello, Idaho Falls, Wendover, Boise and even Vegas utilizing the booty calls on here and emailing couples to just meet. Is it really that complicated to say we do not think we are compatible because everyone on here has there own idea of who they want to play with. Unless you have contacted us previously and we already replied to you we will email you back something. It almost gives you a complex when someone has Hot or Wild booty call and they never even respond back to you one way or another. Or they send a friend request and no response after they look at your pictures.
AZWETNWILD wrote:
All swinger sites are area specific, and the further out of the area you are the less potential contacts you have. If you limit the type of play you are looking for, soft swap only, girl girl only or in our case straight couple, you are limiting the potential play partners even more.
Just because a female is bi anything does not mean they are going to attack you. :-) You should give some couples a chance just make sure you let them know you are not getting a bit curious. Lol