OK, I've a serious question. Those of ya that know me understand how rare it is for me to be serious for longer than 4 seconds, but I'm givin' this a shot. 
We're relatively new to this whole swinging thing. Kinda moved slow and taken little baby steps along the way. Up to now, any "swinging" we've done involved single folks rather than other couples. There was a reason for that: compatibility.
Yep, it seems that we're fussy. For one thing, while I actually admire the many folks who are able to separate it all out and jump in the sack with folks as long as there's a bit of physical attraction, we sorta require a mental connection as well. Not some kinda lovey-dovey thing for gosh sakes, but you know, folks with some humor, down to earth, whatever -- just that little bit of a mental connection along with the physical.
Well we just have not found that couple where we all match up. If I find a sexy guy that I like, hubby doesn't hit it off with the gal or I don't find the guy (or the gal!) attractive in some way. So, HOW THE HELL DOES EVERYBODY ELSE MATCH UP SO EASILY/OFTEN?!
Do you adjust your standards so that your spouse can have fun even though you're not interested in the half of the couple that you'll be with?? This is the crux of the issue for us and why we nearly always end up with a single person instead (and you singles are great by the way, no offense intended!!
).
Oh, and please don't take this as some kind of "uppity" thing. We're sure as hell no Ken and Barbie and one thing that turned me off about the male half of one couple was that he seemed to think he was God's gift, so again, the mental connection was missing, not the physical potential. His wife was right up my husband's (and my!
) alley, and physically he was attractive, but I couldn't handle his attitude.
What to do?
We're relatively new to this whole swinging thing. Kinda moved slow and taken little baby steps along the way. Up to now, any "swinging" we've done involved single folks rather than other couples. There was a reason for that: compatibility.
Yep, it seems that we're fussy. For one thing, while I actually admire the many folks who are able to separate it all out and jump in the sack with folks as long as there's a bit of physical attraction, we sorta require a mental connection as well. Not some kinda lovey-dovey thing for gosh sakes, but you know, folks with some humor, down to earth, whatever -- just that little bit of a mental connection along with the physical.
Well we just have not found that couple where we all match up. If I find a sexy guy that I like, hubby doesn't hit it off with the gal or I don't find the guy (or the gal!) attractive in some way. So, HOW THE HELL DOES EVERYBODY ELSE MATCH UP SO EASILY/OFTEN?!
Do you adjust your standards so that your spouse can have fun even though you're not interested in the half of the couple that you'll be with?? This is the crux of the issue for us and why we nearly always end up with a single person instead (and you singles are great by the way, no offense intended!!
).Oh, and please don't take this as some kind of "uppity" thing. We're sure as hell no Ken and Barbie and one thing that turned me off about the male half of one couple was that he seemed to think he was God's gift, so again, the mental connection was missing, not the physical potential. His wife was right up my husband's (and my!
) alley, and physically he was attractive, but I couldn't handle his attitude.What to do?
Just keep trying. We are 2 years in the lifestyle, have had dozens of threesomes FMF and MFM but only 2 swaps, and it was not from lack of trying. We are the same way, if there isn't a connection, at least physical, it is hard to move forward. Even one of those two, Nina was willing to take one for the team and settle for him to be with her too.
Bottom line, unless you are willing to walk into a room and if it's naked, fuck it, you don't hook up a lot in the lifestyle. Even on this and other sites, a lot a people are all talk.
Bottom line, unless you are willing to walk into a room and if it's naked, fuck it, you don't hook up a lot in the lifestyle. Even on this and other sites, a lot a people are all talk.
P.S, let us know if you ever get down to Orlando. We would love to meet you two.
When I was part of a couple (gasp, I know, I was. Promise.) we had to just agree that couples we met would be couples we would at the very least enjoy their company first and foremost. Dinner. Drinks. Watching movies. Games. Etc. If there was obvious chemistry during the night we took it one step at a time. If not, well the worst that happened was we had a great night with other people. Or we would invite a couple of singles to come hangout and didn't expect them to be each other's date but just to come enjoy a no pressure filled evening. Again, if there was chemistry great. If not, oh well.
Or you can just take Wetandhardutcpl's advice and meet them. They are that dynamic duo who can fit everyone's tastes and desires.
Or you can just take Wetandhardutcpl's advice and meet them. They are that dynamic duo who can fit everyone's tastes and desires.
I guess that all depends on what you or anyone are looking for in this lifestyle. I think that a lot of folks believe that swinging, for everyone, is just drop your shorts and go at it and I guess that would be true for a fair number of folks. In reality it is as far from the truth as one can get for many of us. I know that many of us are looking for relationships (i.e. friendships) where we can do more than just fuck for a night. Whether it is dinner or music, or humor, or the outdoors we are looking for compatibility of some sort. Personally I see folks as people and not sex toys.
I think most folks believe in physical attraction as a starting point. But I have found that mental compatibility or personality can make a woman more or less attractive to me sexually than she was physically attractive in the beginning. My lady is of the same opinion. For those of us that don
I think most folks believe in physical attraction as a starting point. But I have found that mental compatibility or personality can make a woman more or less attractive to me sexually than she was physically attractive in the beginning. My lady is of the same opinion. For those of us that don
When we go out and play it depends on what we are doing and how we are feeling.
We mainly look for people that we have some physical interest in and then it's a matter finding out if we can carry on a conversation with them. We look at it much like dating from high school, only 4 people have to all like each other and not just two. Add in the huge numbers of people we have noticed getting in to the lifestyle who seem to think swinging is kissing a girl to get their guy hot and then having same room sex with their own partner and it makes it hard to find compatible people.
But don't lower your standards. I think Tom and Nina covered that very well with their last line.
We mainly look for people that we have some physical interest in and then it's a matter finding out if we can carry on a conversation with them. We look at it much like dating from high school, only 4 people have to all like each other and not just two. Add in the huge numbers of people we have noticed getting in to the lifestyle who seem to think swinging is kissing a girl to get their guy hot and then having same room sex with their own partner and it makes it hard to find compatible people.
But don't lower your standards. I think Tom and Nina covered that very well with their last line.
I m thinking lots and lots of alcohol and if still hesitant then more alcohol!!!
It is the same for probably 85% of us hun. 4 years in the lifestyle and we are still looking for the perfect match up for all 4. Yes, it does happen, but it is not easy to find the right couple and them feel the same way. WAY more times than not, someone is taking one for the team. We have a rule against that, but I am here to tell you that everyone sees something different in everyone.. Very many people get a bit upset when half of the party is very interested and the other half is not. Example: I find a woman at a party very interesting and sexy and she feels the same about me. Well, chances are that my wife or her hubby is not interested. Well, we have been down this road so many times that we just changed our rules to = "OK, have a good time". This sometimes still does not work as the other couple is still in the (COUPLES ONLY) mode... When it hits right and everyone has a great time it makes all the waiting worth it, but until someone lowers their standards you will be part of the 85%.. The other 15% are made up of: We play separately. Everything DOES gel. Hard core swingers and ok, take one for the team.
The hardest part is when someone in the "said 4-sum" is not going there and sometimes people feel hurt. What everyone needs to remember is that we DO THIS FOR FUN and we are NOT all exactly what everyone else wants. DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL...... Remember it's all about fun and excitement. If something doesn't feel right, DON'T DO IT!!!! Just keep on having fun with all the people that share the fun in the lifestyle and before you know it you'll be sitting around the table the next morning talking about how much fun you had the night before....
The hardest part is when someone in the "said 4-sum" is not going there and sometimes people feel hurt. What everyone needs to remember is that we DO THIS FOR FUN and we are NOT all exactly what everyone else wants. DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL...... Remember it's all about fun and excitement. If something doesn't feel right, DON'T DO IT!!!! Just keep on having fun with all the people that share the fun in the lifestyle and before you know it you'll be sitting around the table the next morning talking about how much fun you had the night before....
We must be very lucky I guess. We've only been around since April and we strictly play with couples or a group. Both the guy and gal need to be accepted by both of us, and yes it's a hard combo to find. Even in a group situation we need to feel ok with EVERYONE involved. So for us that has meant we go to A LOT of parties and put ourselves out there and meet people. Because of that we have had several foursomes and even a couple eightsomes, and some of those have been repeats too. As we have met people we've found that we're actually doing pretty good as new swingers because we've found that a lot of people who play with only couples don't get to play too often. So we say try to get out a little more. It's numbers, the more you're out then the more chances you'll find exactly the combo you're looking for. We haven't compromised ourselves yet (taken one for the team) and don't plan on it. Your combo is out there, just gotta keep looking. (Take this advice for what it's worth coming from the new guy...lol)
I think the crux of the problem is that we look for something vastly different in a play partner than we do in a life partner. We've been around the scene for a long time and often hear people complain that they don't see what a potential play partner sees in his or her spouse. For us, we can often overcome some initial lack of instant chemistry by actually taking the time to get to know another couple before hopping in the sack with them. Or often a paper bag is helpful. ;-)
I have found that the type of couples my wife attracts I basicly have to lower my standards!
FUN4MWF,
I think this is one of your best posts yet!! Nice meeting you at the last two parties. Hope you get this figured out. Not sure how much you will value our help as we skip that last step of the orgy so we are not sure if the compatibility requirements are the same? We do normally do quite a bit of emailing first or even a lunch and dinner date first before a play situation. We Dont seem to find folks for immediate fun at parties because of all the noise. Sometimes it does start off a dialog if you can hear what their handle is and remember it.
Mr mor
I think this is one of your best posts yet!! Nice meeting you at the last two parties. Hope you get this figured out. Not sure how much you will value our help as we skip that last step of the orgy so we are not sure if the compatibility requirements are the same? We do normally do quite a bit of emailing first or even a lunch and dinner date first before a play situation. We Dont seem to find folks for immediate fun at parties because of all the noise. Sometimes it does start off a dialog if you can hear what their handle is and remember it.
Mr mor
Holy crap, there were so many good answers that I don't know where to start! One thing that I'm hearing is that perhaps I'm suffering from "The grass is always greener" syndrome and maybe we're cruising along just fine. Well, except for the fact that BlueEyes had to brag about knowing those big teasers known as WetAndHardUtCpl and I find BlueEyes, EvilDoers, and SexyRiders all in my friends list, yet I still haven't seen any of those seemingly nice, obviously hot people naked yet, so they must have rejected US for one reason or another. UPPITY BASTARDS!! 
roflmao, just teasing folks, just teasing. Told ya I couldn't stay serious for more than 4 seconds.
But seriously, it was very helpful to read all these replies. I'm tempted to respond to each post individualy 'cause there were so many helpful comments/suggestions but I'd just miss a comment or THIS comment would end up being two pages long! A sincere thanks to all though--this has been great to read.
roflmao, just teasing folks, just teasing. Told ya I couldn't stay serious for more than 4 seconds.But seriously, it was very helpful to read all these replies. I'm tempted to respond to each post individualy 'cause there were so many helpful comments/suggestions but I'd just miss a comment or THIS comment would end up being two pages long! A sincere thanks to all though--this has been great to read.
Being relatively new to the scene ourselves, we often assumed that our "swinger" friends were hooking up with regularity. Upon further review, this assumption couldn't be further from the truth. Even when we get together with people who are already our friends sometimes the mood just doesn't develop. Trying to establish that mood with two couples who are just in the introductory stages of a relationship is asking a lot. It has happened for us but not often.
We don't go out with any expectations at all, we just go with the flow. If things happen, great and if not, we're very happy with each other. I think the key is really different folks having different expectations or "standards". None the less, we found this group to be more down to earth and just plain fun to be around no matter what.
We'll agree...this has been a good topic. It's nice to hear the different opinions and experiences. There's not one single solution or piece of advice that directs everyone to that happy place....we're all different. We just know what has worked for us so far at our current comfort level. However that has been slowly evolving too. We've been invited to some hotel booty call type things and the people had never met us nor did they know our names...lol. Although that may work for some it's NOT OUR WAY OF DOING THINGS...we prefer to talk and get to know the people. We actually move pretty slow, but that's what works for us right now. Btw we love being naked, even at parties as long as everyone else is too.... . So please everyone get naked...
. So please everyone get naked...I am not a tease nor have I rejected you. I just have been busy.....molesting.....people who stand still long enough to be molested. LOL *smooch*
Ah ha...now all of us "upitty" types she called out have responded back...and as it turns out none of us are that upitty at all...lol...Infact I'll bet we all like getting naked... we're just a little shy among big crowds....
we're just a little shy among big crowds....WETANDHARDUTCPL wrote:I was totally just fooling around with ya! Oh...wait a minute, maybe I wasn't. If I actually WAS fooling around with you I guess this entire post that I started is a fraud, ain't it?!
what.. we aren't teasers.. :-). like everyone else on here we go out without any expectations.. sometimes the mood is right, and sometimes it just isn't..
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:Knowing this, if we ever actually meet you in person, expect us to look pretty much like those British Soldiers that guard Buckingham Palace!
I am not a tease nor have I rejected you. I just have been busy.....molesting.....people who stand still long enough to be molested. LOL *smooch*
SEXYRIDERS wrote:Ha, we kinda simultaneously posted or I'd have included you in my last response, sexyriders!
Ah ha...now all of us "upitty" types she called out have responded back...and as it turns out none of us are that upitty at all...lol...Infact I'll bet we all like getting naked...
I really was just teasing you, and truly not trying to pin you down or anything just 'cause ya'll are in my friends list! In fact, that's kind of another quandary for me in all this. Many of the big parties are dances -- so loud it's difficult to actually meet and get to know some new people, yet to set up a "date" with just one single couple also kinda puts pressure on, as if it's EXPECTED that something'll happen! Sheez....I'm so temperamental! Or maybe just mental!! 
However, I will say that another common suggestion in this thread is to not have great expectations at any particular "event," and we really have started to think that way. We had a great time at the last one and actually left with just ourselves -- it was just a fun date night for us, we met a few couples, got a break from the kids (gotta love 'em but a break is welcome!), witnessed some pretty sexy gals goin' at it, and had gained some decent mind-fodder for some fun ourselves later on!! All in all, a great time!
We have come up with a very simple formula that works for us. We each need to be able to say that the people we're playing with are people we would play with if we were single. If we can each say that about our respective playmates, game on.
"HOW THE HELL DOES EVERYBODY ELSE MATCH UP SO EASILY/OFTEN" They don't plain and simple if they say they do then there in a long term setting. Male Half here been in the life style for 20+ years and its not that smiple any more everyone has expectations. I know for a fact that 90% of this web site would not attend a black out party like back in the 70's. So your not the only one having a hard time finding compatibility.
MISSSMITHNSIRNEWBY wrote:
Take whatever difficulty there exists between 2 people trying to inter-relate and factor it by 4 (because there are now 4 people trying to inter-relate), and that is likely how hard it is to find that "ideal" match.
Just remember, we never take one for the team. It takes time and chemistry. All 4 have to agree, and it is up to you and your partner to set the ground rules. We let the wife decide, since she thinks with the big head and guys are usually thinking with the little head.
FUN4MWF wrote:
[quote=SEXYRIDERS]
However, I will say that another common suggestion in this thread is to not have great expectations at any particular "event," and we really have started to think that way. We had a great time at the last one and actually left with just ourselves -- it was just a fun date night for us, we met a few couples, got a break from the kids (gotta love 'em but a break is welcome!), witnessed some pretty sexy gals goin' at it, and had gained some decent mind-fodder for some fun ourselves later on!! All in all, a great time!
That's usually how we handle the parties. We go in very laid back and chill about it. We wander and mingle and whatnot. If we find someone compatible, game on. If not, we had a nice night out with like minded friends and prolly got to at least watch some sexy stuff go down.
HELLO_KITTY12984 wrote:FUN4MWF wrote:
[quote=SEXYRIDERS]
However, I will say that another common suggestion in this thread is to not have great expectations at any particular "event," and we really have started to think that way. We had a great time at the last one and actually left with just ourselves -- it was just a fun date night for us, we met a few couples, got a break from the kids (gotta love 'em but a break is welcome!), witnessed some pretty sexy gals goin' at it, and had gained some decent mind-fodder for some fun ourselves later on!! All in all, a great time!
That's usually how we handle the parties. We go in very laid back and chill about it. We wander and mingle and whatnot. If we find someone compatible, game on. If not, we had a nice night out with like minded friends and prolly got to at least watch some sexy stuff go down.
*Insert "LIKE" here*
I go to get a mommy break and if there is some chemistry going on...GAME ON. If not, I've had a great time with fun pervs. It's a win/win.
Haven't been to any play parties as of yet, looking forward to it. We go casual, and what happens, happens. We have fun, chat, and if the mood were right, let's get naked...
Im posting without reading though this whole but im still in the first page just wanted to say my peace. I the male half, am into almost everything and unless you think you are gods gift or open your mouth and litteral shit for brains comes out chances are better than not, that im into you. I have some kind of uncanny ability to look and talk to someone and find something i like no matter what. Maybe its the fact that i grew up with a shrink for a mom, or that my dad always taught me to try everything once.
Now as far as physically being attracted to someone i like everything and i have a theory. My mother is a rather large woman, i have found that traditionally i am more into larger women then skinny model types, i have noticed that many of my friends growing up and now that have skinnier mothers tend to be more shallow when it comes to physical attraction(im not judging just stating my observations. what you like is what you like, you cant change it anymore than a gay guy can change and chose to be strait) Anyone else have any ideas on this theory
As far as meeting other couples i think some search for the perfect couple which will never come around and i think that some write others off after a first meeting where nothing sparks. The way i see it is we go out not expecting anything to happen with anyone, we chat we dance we be ourselves, if something happens we wing it go with the flow, we have stopped trying to fit everything into our little box and now we just follow the river to where ever the thing damns up. Now this isnt always right for everyone and we are talking about sex which is a very personal activity so to each thier own.
And to adress this taking one for the team. I dont believe in that being possible. if you dont want to have sex with someone you shouldnt if your significant other tries talking you into it their a douche and shouldnt even be having sex with you. But have i slept with someone i didnt find attractive or intellectually engaging yes. But instead of thinking this is gonna suck i thought this instead. This experience is going to surprise me and who really knows wheere it will go. now have i been let down... ya duh but have i been surprised, HOLY SHIT YES, and ill put money that everyone of you reading this thought similarly, either when you started into the life style or at someother point here.
hope this did something... not sure what i forgot my point halfway through writing this but hey fuck it.
Now as far as physically being attracted to someone i like everything and i have a theory. My mother is a rather large woman, i have found that traditionally i am more into larger women then skinny model types, i have noticed that many of my friends growing up and now that have skinnier mothers tend to be more shallow when it comes to physical attraction(im not judging just stating my observations. what you like is what you like, you cant change it anymore than a gay guy can change and chose to be strait) Anyone else have any ideas on this theory
As far as meeting other couples i think some search for the perfect couple which will never come around and i think that some write others off after a first meeting where nothing sparks. The way i see it is we go out not expecting anything to happen with anyone, we chat we dance we be ourselves, if something happens we wing it go with the flow, we have stopped trying to fit everything into our little box and now we just follow the river to where ever the thing damns up. Now this isnt always right for everyone and we are talking about sex which is a very personal activity so to each thier own.
And to adress this taking one for the team. I dont believe in that being possible. if you dont want to have sex with someone you shouldnt if your significant other tries talking you into it their a douche and shouldnt even be having sex with you. But have i slept with someone i didnt find attractive or intellectually engaging yes. But instead of thinking this is gonna suck i thought this instead. This experience is going to surprise me and who really knows wheere it will go. now have i been let down... ya duh but have i been surprised, HOLY SHIT YES, and ill put money that everyone of you reading this thought similarly, either when you started into the life style or at someother point here.
hope this did something... not sure what i forgot my point halfway through writing this but hey fuck it.
Well said!
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:Oh yeah, right. Last I heard you were still trying to locate your ear rings in the ceiling, or someones boxer shorts or something like that!!HELLO_KITTY12984 wrote:
That's usually how we handle the parties. We go in very laid back and chill about it. We wander and mingle and whatnot. If we find someone compatible, game on. If not, we had a nice night out with like minded friends and prolly got to at least watch some sexy stuff go down.
*Insert "LIKE" here*
I go to get a mommy break and if there is some chemistry going on...GAME ON. If not, I've had a great time with fun pervs. It's a win/win.
FUN4MWF wrote:
Oh yeah, right. Last I heard you were still trying to locate your ear rings in the ceiling, or someones boxer shorts or something like that!!
It was my earrings. We aren't looking for boxers. I just hide them fair and square.
UNFAITHUFLANGELS wrote:Absolutely agree! We have few expectations of sex when meeting people, as well. And..quite honestly...it almost dosen't matter anymore. We love each other, and THAT is our first choice for partners, anyway. But, We have had the privilage of hooking up with folks of all kinds, sizes, and ages. Do we have out preferances? sure...but do we use this preferance to rule out meeting new friends? NO! We have had too many very incredible times, with couples outside of those to ever do that!
Im posting without reading though this whole but im still in the first page just wanted to say my peace. I the male half, am into almost everything and unless you think you are gods gift or open your mouth and litteral shit for brains comes out chances are better than not, that im into you. I have some kind of uncanny ability to look and talk to someone and find something i like no matter what. Maybe its the fact that i grew up with a shrink for a mom, or that my dad always taught me to try everything once. Now as far as physically being attracted to someone i like everything and i have a theory. My mother is a rather large woman, i have found that traditionally i am more into larger women then skinny model types, i have noticed that many of my friends growing up and now that have skinnier mothers tend to be more shallow when it comes to physical attraction(im not judging just stating my observations. what you like is what you like, you cant change it anymore than a gay guy can change and chose to be strait) Anyone else have any ideas on this theory As far as meeting other couples i think some search for the perfect couple which will never come around and i think that some write others off after a first meeting where nothing sparks. The way i see it is we go out not expecting anything to happen with anyone, we chat we dance we be ourselves, if something happens we wing it go with the flow, we have stopped trying to fit everything into our little box and now we just follow the river to where ever the thing damns up. Now this isnt always right for everyone and we are talking about sex which is a very personal activity so to each thier own. And to adress this taking one for the team. I dont believe in that being possible. if you dont want to have sex with someone you shouldnt if your significant other tries talking you into it their a douche and shouldnt even be having sex with you. But have i slept with someone i didnt find attractive or intellectually engaging yes. But instead of thinking this is gonna suck i thought this instead. This experience is going to surprise me and who really knows wheere it will go. now have i been let down... ya duh but have i been surprised, HOLY SHIT YES, and ill put money that everyone of you reading this thought similarly, either when you started into the life style or at someother point here. hope this did something... not sure what i forgot my point halfway through writing this but hey fuck it.
TIFFND wrote:UNFAITHUFLANGELS wrote:Absolutely agree! We have few expectations of sex when meeting people, as well. And..quite honestly...it almost dosen't matter anymore. We love each other, and THAT is our first choice for partners, anyway. But, We have had the privilage of hooking up with folks of all kinds, sizes, and ages. Do we have out preferances? sure...but do we use this preferance to rule out meeting new friends? NO! We have had too many very incredible times, with couples outside of those to ever do that!
Im posting without reading though this whole but im still in the first page just wanted to say my peace. I the male half, am into almost everything and unless you think you are gods gift or open your mouth and litteral shit for brains comes out chances are better than not, that im into you. I have some kind of uncanny ability to look and talk to someone and find something i like no matter what. Maybe its the fact that i grew up with a shrink for a mom, or that my dad always taught me to try everything once. Now as far as physically being attracted to someone i like everything and i have a theory. My mother is a rather large woman, i have found that traditionally i am more into larger women then skinny model types, i have noticed that many of my friends growing up and now that have skinnier mothers tend to be more shallow when it comes to physical attraction(im not judging just stating my observations. what you like is what you like, you cant change it anymore than a gay guy can change and chose to be strait) Anyone else have any ideas on this theory As far as meeting other couples i think some search for the perfect couple which will never come around and i think that some write others off after a first meeting where nothing sparks. The way i see it is we go out not expecting anything to happen with anyone, we chat we dance we be ourselves, if something happens we wing it go with the flow, we have stopped trying to fit everything into our little box and now we just follow the river to where ever the thing damns up. Now this isnt always right for everyone and we are talking about sex which is a very personal activity so to each thier own. And to adress this taking one for the team. I dont believe in that being possible. if you dont want to have sex wth someone you shouldnt if your significant other tries talking you into it their a douche and shouldnt even be having sex with you. But have i slept with someone i didnt find attractive or intellectually engaging yes. But instead of thinking this is gonna suck i thought this instead. This experience is going to surprise me and who really knows wheere it will go. now have i been let down... ya duh but have i been surprised, HOLY SHIT YES, and ill put money that everyone of you reading this thought similarly, either when you started into the life style or at someother point here. hope this did something... not sure what i forgot my point halfway through writing this but hey fuck it.
So you're saying there's a chance!
UNFAITHUFLANGELS wrote:(From the Mr) OMG, my wife always hates when I post something here, and I suspect this post will likely demonstrate why, so I'm going to try and word this somewhat thoughtfully!
... I the male half, am into almost everything and unless you think you are gods gift or open your mouth and litteral shit for brains comes out chances are better than not, that im into you. I have some kind of uncanny ability to look and talk to someone and find something i like no matter what ... Now as far as physically being attracted to someone i like everything...
As far as meeting other couples i think some search for the perfect couple which will never come around and i think that some write others off after a first meeting where nothing sparks. The way i see it is we go out not expecting anything to happen with anyone, we chat we dance we be ourselves, if something happens we wing it go with the flow, we have stopped trying to fit everything into our little box and now we just follow the river to where ever the thing damns up. Now this isnt always right for everyone and we are talking about sex which is a very personal activity so to each thier own.
And to adress this taking one for the team. I dont believe in that being possible. if you dont want to have sex with someone you shouldnt if your significant other tries talking you into it their a douche and shouldnt even be having sex with you. But have i slept with someone i didnt find attractive or intellectually engaging yes. But instead of thinking this is gonna suck i thought this instead. This experience is going to surprise me and who really knows wheere it will go. now have i been let down... ya duh but have i been surprised, HOLY SHIT YES, and ill put money that everyone of you reading this thought similarly, either when you started into the life style or at someother point here ...
There are various levels of determination in pursuing these sexual activities. I admire those able to disengage their usual attractiveness filters so as to be able to pursue and engage more partners. However, I don't understand this entire statement:
And to adress this taking one for the team. I dont believe in that being possible. if you dont want to have sex with someone you shouldnt if your significant other tries talking you into it their a douche and shouldnt even be having sex with you. But have i slept with someone i didnt find attractive or intellectually engaging yes.
Why the hell would you have sex with someone that you did not find physically attractive or intellectually engaging?
I can think of no reason other than "Taking one for the team," or perhaps we could just boil this whole post down to the shortened version,
"I'm willing to stick my dick anywhere, anytime, for any reason?"
FUN4MWF wrote:UNFAITHUFLANGELS wrote:(From the Mr) OMG, my wife always hates when I post something here, and I suspect this post will likely demonstrate why, so I'm going to try and word this somewhat thoughtfully!
... I the male half, am into almost everything and unless you think you are gods gift or open your mouth and litteral shit for brains comes out chances are better than not, that im into you. I have some kind of uncanny ability to look and talk to someone and find something i like no matter what ... Now as far as physically being attracted to someone i like everything...
As far as meeting other couples i think some search for the perfect couple which will never come around and i think that some write others off after a first meeting where nothing sparks. The way i see it is we go out not expecting anything to happen with anyone, we chat we dance we be ourselves, if something happens we wing it go with the flow, we have stopped trying to fit everything into our little box and now we just follow the river to where ever the thing damns up. Now this isnt always right for everyone and we are talking about sex which is a very personal activity so to each thier own.
And to adress this taking one for the team. I dont believe in that being possible. if you dont want to have sex with someone you shouldnt if your significant other tries talking you into it their a douche and shouldnt even be having sex with you. But have i slept with someone i didnt find attractive or intellectually engaging yes. But instead of thinking this is gonna suck i thought this instead. This experience is going to surprise me and who really knows wheere it will go. now have i been let down... ya duh but have i been surprised, HOLY SHIT YES, and ill put money that everyone of you reading this thought similarly, either when you started into the life style or at someother point here ...
There are various levels of determination in pursuing these sexual activities. I admire those able to disengage their usual attractiveness filters so as to be able to pursue and engage more partners. However, I don't understand this entire statement:
And to adress this taking one for the team. I dont believe in that being possible. if you dont want to have sex with someone you shouldnt if your significant other tries talking you into it their a douche and shouldnt even be having sex with you. But have i slept with someone i didnt find attractive or intellectually engaging yes.
Why the hell would you have sex with someone that you did not find physically attractive or intellectually engaging?
I can think of no reason other than "Taking one for the team," or perhaps we could just boil this whole post down to the shortened version,
"I'm willing to stick my dick anywhere, anytime, for any reason?"
Clearly you missed the what i was saying.. I said yes im probably into you if your not a ass whole or think your the shit. Have i had sex with what i was not attracted to yes because im a very curious person and i enjoy what is shared during sex with a new partner you see things that no one else sees. Now you can say whatever you want i wont stick my dick in anything for any reason that is extremely narrow minded and you missed the big picture.
I am speaking of my view on a few different subjects one physically i think some people limit themselves from life experiences because someone doesn't match this ridiculous pedestal that they set for people. I think people limit themselves to find this perfect match of emotion, intellect and beauty that is unattainable. i don't need that perfection i have found my perfect match so those needs are attended to. I'm simply stating my view which is just as legitimate as anyone elses on here.
And this is not me lowering my standards to find more partners. I have always thought this way i live life so that if i make it to be 80 fucking years old i can look back and say "I lived life for every second that i could, i have experienced things most people cant even imagine with all of their limitations they put on themselves.
so say what you want but if your going to talk about people and put them down to try and seem funny or cool just head on back to high school. You'll be the coolest guy ever dude.
And being from the mr is because this is me talking i cannot speak for someone else, nor will i try when it comes to something that is as personal as it can possibly get. And i could just as easily not said from me and everyone would have thought it came from both of us. i like clarity and honesty when i speak.
I can see why your wife might not like you posting as you do seem to speak before you think. I hope this helps you grow and realize that everyone has their own opinion and just because you do not understand it doesn't mean it has any less meaning. till then i wish you the best
Sorry UnfaithufAngels, I had way too much fun playing with your words. In my defense though, I didn't actually make a personal attack and stated right from the start, "... I admire those able to disengage their usual attractiveness filters so as to be able to pursue and engage more partners." My last statement of the post ended poorly though.
And, seriously, it's my own warped mind that had me chuckling, and could have gotten me further into trouble if not for a huge measure of self-restraint. The specific wording of some of your statements caused this bout with impropriety in the aforementioned warped brain. Things popped to mind e.g. the advice of your father to try everything once (Bestiality? Heroin? Slamming your penis in a car door?) . Yeah, I've a warped sense of humor and you'll probably be mad again reading that goofy example, but you sounded mad anyway, so what the hey, I'm seriously just playing on your words. Sorry to upset you.
You're probably in the majority here, as far as guys go, as I think most men probably don't require an emotional or intellectual connection. In the past, I've certainly have had sex with gals that I've not really been physically attracted to -- but it was totally due to a very attractive personality. I've never been able or inclined to have sex with women who I found unattractive both physically and emotionally. I HAVE to have at least part of an emotional connection -- a sense of humor, intelligence, self-confidence yet modesty, or perhaps just a certain kindness or sweetness. You stated that you could have sex with someone regardless of physical or emotional attractiveness and I restated that fact with the crudely worded "sticking your dick wherever" statement. For that, I truly apologize. It sounds like you're having lots of fun and I think your lifestyle sounds great. Continued success.
As far as your statement to essentially take my ball and go home, I'll take a pass.
And, seriously, it's my own warped mind that had me chuckling, and could have gotten me further into trouble if not for a huge measure of self-restraint. The specific wording of some of your statements caused this bout with impropriety in the aforementioned warped brain. Things popped to mind e.g. the advice of your father to try everything once (Bestiality? Heroin? Slamming your penis in a car door?) . Yeah, I've a warped sense of humor and you'll probably be mad again reading that goofy example, but you sounded mad anyway, so what the hey, I'm seriously just playing on your words. Sorry to upset you.
You're probably in the majority here, as far as guys go, as I think most men probably don't require an emotional or intellectual connection. In the past, I've certainly have had sex with gals that I've not really been physically attracted to -- but it was totally due to a very attractive personality. I've never been able or inclined to have sex with women who I found unattractive both physically and emotionally. I HAVE to have at least part of an emotional connection -- a sense of humor, intelligence, self-confidence yet modesty, or perhaps just a certain kindness or sweetness. You stated that you could have sex with someone regardless of physical or emotional attractiveness and I restated that fact with the crudely worded "sticking your dick wherever" statement. For that, I truly apologize. It sounds like you're having lots of fun and I think your lifestyle sounds great. Continued success.
As far as your statement to essentially take my ball and go home, I'll take a pass.
DELICIOUSLYWET wrote:
Yes it is hard to find a circumstance where the chemistry is absolutely equal in every corner but in the end, we have found that almost there can still be pretty damned fun and people will grow on you!!!!
Nicely put!
FUN4MWF wrote:
Sorry UnfaithufAngels, I had way too much fun playing with your words. In my defense though, I didn't actually make a personal attack and stated right from the start, "... I admire those able to disengage their usual attractiveness filters so as to be able to pursue and engage more partners." My last statement of the post ended poorly though.
And, seriously, it's my own warped mind that had me chuckling, and could have gotten me further into trouble if not for a huge measure of self-restraint. The specific wording of some of your statements caused this bout with impropriety in the aforementioned warped brain. Things popped to mind e.g. the advice of your father to try everything once (Bestiality? Heroin? Slamming your penis in a car door?) . Yeah, I've a warped sense of humor and you'll probably be mad again reading that goofy example, but you sounded mad anyway, so what the hey, I'm seriously just playing on your words. Sorry to upset you.
You're probably in the majority here, as far as guys go, as I think most men probably don't require an emotional or intellectual connection. In the past, I've certainly have had sex with gals that I've not really been physically attracted to -- but it was totally due to a very attractive personality. I've never been able or inclined to have sex with women who I found unattractive both physically and emotionally. I HAVE to have at least part of an emotional connection -- a sense of humor, intelligence, self-confidence yet modesty, or perhaps just a certain kindness or sweetness. You stated that you could have sex with someone regardless of physical or emotional attractiveness and I restated that fact with the crudely worded "sticking your dick wherever" statement. For that, I truly apologize. It sounds like you're having lots of fun and I think your lifestyle sounds great. Continued success.
As far as your statement to essentially take my ball and go home, I'll take a pass.
lol i get it no worries,and as far as the 2 choices i never said they didnt have one i could never get past someone i found unattractive and stupid what the hell is the point in, that with out adding some scary movie 2 style sex cotumes(
get it).Now the beastiality no but in the past i did take it quite literal to try everything once. so your good and i probably could have left out the high school comment but like your sense of humor i like a good argument or slightly heated disscusion its another flaw in my o so many number of them. this last post i laughed pretty hard. Cant wait for some more from you one day, on one of these forums.
Till then were good. and again i wish you the best
Oh thank God, *stops from putting dick in car door*...
Well, here's one less way for us folks here in Central Florida to copulate.
http://www.theledger.com/article/20111211/NEWS/111219907/1410?Title=Swingers-Club-Shut-Down-by-Sheriff-s-Detectives
http://www.theledger.com/article/20111211/NEWS/111219907/1410?Title=Swingers-Club-Shut-Down-by-Sheriff-s-Detectives
SPEXDEX wrote:TIFFND wrote:So you're saying there's a chance!
[quote=UNFAITHUFLANGELS]
Awww...You know there is!
DEVILSKITCHEN wrote:
We have had the same experience as many others here. We like each other so much, and don't often find a deep enough connection to establish a lasting friendship or even have an awesome physical experience with the couples we meet.
We look at this dilemma in a pretty simple way. The hunt is better than the kill. It is almost always thrilling in some way to meet a new couple and this adds excitement to our relationship. It really doesn't matter how far these meetings go, so long as we are both comfortable and having fun. We also end up channeling this energy into the passion between us.
Most importantly we find time and time again how much we appreciate each other. We are so grateful to be together and continually prove to each other that we have the best partner that can be found. This proves true even when we choose to experience another couple. It's a huge validation of our own relationship and we always share our gratitude with each other.
VERY WELL PUT!!! WE FEEL SO MUCH THE SAME WAY.....
K so we went to twas the night this passed saterday and i will say if your looking to mesh and find a couple this is a great way. The people are great, relaxed, extremely friendly, and all around just good people.(did i forget to mention SEXY as hell) defiantly check out these events as it takes all the pressure off of you and allows you to just be you and meet people who are just being them. What better way is there to hit off a connection with someone.
and @ CandP87
Lol sick her on us and ill sick sierra on you. Then we can deal with the handful together We miss you two and hope to see you soon.
and @ CandP87
Lol sick her on us and ill sick sierra on you. Then we can deal with the handful together
We miss you two and hope to see you soon.I think you all just need to get a room, get naked, and let me watch. I will even bring my own popcorn and alcohol.
xoxo
Tammy
p.s. I'm having perv cravings again. Watch out. *smooch*
xoxo
Tammy
p.s. I'm having perv cravings again. Watch out. *smooch*