ok, so the wife and i have been into the lifestyle for about 8-9 years, started with pic exchanges and web cam, in the last 5 years we have done MMF, FFM, Couple full swaps. but its always almost akward making that first step in starting things. who and how does this take place in your situations? we have met a lot of people and for some reason in the area we are in there is a lot of people that we would have nothing to do with. we arent perfect by any means, but the people we are talking about are either what we call "bridge trolls" looking like they just crawled out from under a bridge(not really any nice way to say it) or they are swinging for the wrong reasons. like trying to fix things, or one wants it and the other doesnt... but occasionally when we do find the right people, seems its almost akward to wait and see who is going to make the first move. have done truth or dare a couple times but some think thats immature??? ok im done now. input is appriceated!!! 
Done the t or d and its fun with the right pepole , sometimes to much chit chat can calm down the atmosphere to much . The hot tub & t or d works well . And the wife sometimes just starts touching me then herself and then we start playing with each other and just start inviting who ever wants to join join let ther girls take charge and ill tell.them.that I'm just going to sit here you guys start things. Kind go with the flow. Lol
We have had a couple of different approachs, the easy one was we all get naked and get in the Hot Tub, the other each couple started making out with thier own partner, both worked very well. It can be akward if you are trying something on the first meet, but we have connected on meet nites and had a good time. Still friends with all of those couples.
One couple we played with they was great and comfortable in the hot tub but once in the bedroom they wernt comfortable so much anymore, which is fine. But it seemed that they hadn't set rules for them selfs and was awkward for them out in the open . Still had fun still friends with them
We've found that if your interested in someone and you start discussing their individual play style, or yours for that matter, things seem to move in the right direction. For example, you might ask them if they like to play together or separate, or let them know of any limitations you have as a couple. This lets them know you are interested in playing and seems to put everyone in the right mind frame.
We have found that whatever the women are comfortable with usually sets the pace. Things to avoid avoid are definitely sports on TV, news, politics, and the food network. Strip poker has worked in the past and one time we played even odds with the odds having to lose a clothing item, like strip poker but less skill and faster progression.
Bob
Bob
How about saying we are horny and are going in to play, if you care to join us.
Based on our limited experience the best way is not to spend too much time thinking about it at all. Letting things happen organically seems to make it the easiest for everyone. As the night wears on usually everyone starts loosening up, laughing more, getting a little closer, touching, stroking, kisses on the cheek etc usually lead to embers naturally turning into flames. The one time we all sat around waiting to see who'd make the first move and overthinking the whole thing, nothing happened lol.
ASSETS wrote:
I don't like wasting time with chit-chat or playing games... so I usually get things started by taking off my clothes... by time I'm naked, I have everyone's full attention and everyone is in the mood. works every time!
Based on your pics I bet that works really well!
CPSWINGTIME you can say that again....
Games are always easy. We have played strip wii a few times. It helps to ease the. Edges while making it fun. The more clothes come off, the more people get turned on. Touching begins, and by the time people finally lose all their clothes, you're chomping at the bit to get started...
Naked hot tubbing is also a fine choice!
Naked hot tubbing is also a fine choice!
We like to use our hot tub or play strip pool or darts. Or if your my wife she will just say you want to fuck lol.
NPNUDISTCPLE wrote:
How about saying we are horny and are going in to play, if you care to join us.
GREAT idea.
We have often used strip poker as a means of getting comfy. It seems to be easier with single guys than with couples. I mean come on guys are guys and are always looking to get naked and have sex... I often just walk in our haouse and take my shirt off to get things started... It just totally depends on comfort level of everyone involved and how long you have known each other/been talking...
I like to get things started by showing off my lingerie...
CANDJ23 wrote:
I like to get things started by showing off my lingerie...
What if you aren't into the whole male lingerie?
SPEXDEX wrote:[/quote]SPEXDEX wrote:
[quote=CANDJ23]I like to get things started by showing off my lingerie...
What if you aren't into the whole male lingerie?
haha! you're funny!
Patron body shots!! Great ice breaker to get things going )
)We would be up for some naked hot tubbing lol
lolMost people just don't respond well to the "Hey, do you want to see my penis?". Like I'm supposed to know you can't ask in a supermarket...
Sounds like we need to buy a Hot Tub. :P
Mrs ABC was great at this. She just takes off her shirt and basically tells everyone "this party is starting.. now".. then she hugs the other guy and of course he can't resist a naked hot sexy red head hugging him, nature kicks in at this point. Usually that is my wake up call to take it to the next level with the other woman. Sometimes there is no need, when you all can't keep your hands off one another, then you know it's going to be a hot night.
Wow what a good question
It is so different from experience to experience. But we have found that strip poker seems to work pretty well. But in other situations where someone doesn't play or like playing cards we found that if the girls are bi, they seem to connect and make things alot easier for everyone.
It's hard for us at times because He is shy and quiet at first. I'm more outgoing and that seems to help. A lot of chit chat about what everyone is into seems to ease things and make everyone more comfortable to me. But hey... Would love to hear more ideas on this. Because i"m sure it comes up very often for most everyone.
It is so different from experience to experience. But we have found that strip poker seems to work pretty well. But in other situations where someone doesn't play or like playing cards we found that if the girls are bi, they seem to connect and make things alot easier for everyone.
It's hard for us at times because He is shy and quiet at first. I'm more outgoing and that seems to help. A lot of chit chat about what everyone is into seems to ease things and make everyone more comfortable to me. But hey... Would love to hear more ideas on this. Because i"m sure it comes up very often for most everyone.
SPEXDEX wrote:
Most people just don't respond well to the "Hey, do you want to see my penis?". Like I'm supposed to know you can't ask in a supermarket...
I wasn't even in the meat section. At least wait til I hit the deli. sheesh.
HELLO_KITTY12984 wrote:SPEXDEX wrote:
Most people just don't respond well to the "Hey, do you want to see my penis?". Like I'm supposed to know you can't ask in a supermarket...
I wasn't even in the meat section. At least wait til I hit the deli. sheesh.
Well I was trying the whole "you want some cream for that coffee?"...and that's why I can't go to Starbucks anymore either...
SPEXDEX wrote:
Well I was trying the whole "you want some cream for that coffee?"...and that's why I can't go to Starbucks anymore either...
Please. My Starbucks has heard/seen it all. I'm so not kidding here. When I working there, there was a couple on a date and I shit you not, she was giving him a hand job IN THE STORE. We had to remind them we were a public family store. LOL
Great. And now I want coffee....
xox
Tammy
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:SPEXDEX wrote:
Well I was trying the whole "you want some cream for that coffee?"...and that's why I can't go to Starbucks anymore either...
Please. My Starbucks has heard/seen it all. I'm so not kidding here. When I working there, there was a couple on a date and I shit you not, she was giving him a hand job IN THE STORE. We had to remind them we were a public family store. LOL
Great. And now I want coffee....
xox
Tammy
I didn't realize we had met before the site, man where are my manners?
If you have an ipad, there are some fun games that will spice things and get the 'fun' started. One is called Adult wheel of foreplay...We will be using it tonight when we have a couple over
look up on the internet. Sexy jenga. We have a couple of couples that we have played this with and it a great ice breaker. All you do is but some suggestion on a jenga cube and you do what it says. I doesnt have to be anything sexual in nature. But it is fun if you put a couple in there that are.
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:SPEXDEX wrote:
Well I was trying the whole "you want some cream for that coffee?"...and that's why I can't go to Starbucks anymore either...
Please. My Starbucks has heard/seen it all. I'm so not kidding here. When I working there, there was a couple on a date and I shit you not, she was giving him a hand job IN THE STORE. We had to remind them we were a public family store. LOL
Great. And now I want coffee....
xox
Tammy
Obviously, you didn't offer to help her, or you'd probably still be working there.
It's all about customer "service".
You would think, as much as the phrase communication is key, gets bandied about people would really want to actively engage in communication. It would seem natural that the more experienced parties would take the lead in discussing how things get done much like flight instructors explaining that when the oxygen masks drop from the overhead compartment, you place it over your head, secure the elastic strap and breathe.
However in this lifestyle that couldn't be further from the truth. The problem is that if there is too much chit chat then someone is always in danger of being dumbfounded by the use of a big word. It's hard to be sexy when all the blood is now rushing to your head in a desperate attempt to draw upon a vocabulary that just isn't there in the first place. How do you get around this? Well, I certainly don't need to explain the folly of having a dictionary next to the hot tub.
This is why it is strongly encouraged that swingers incorporate healthy role-play. When trying to get that new couple to first base it's best to stick with the basics. A good old fashion game of Neanderthals...ahem, excuse me, I mean cave people. Then the fun can proceed upon simple phrases like, "You look good" or "Me touch you now?" When becoming aroused you might say, "Oooh, this is how make fire," or "I look in hole for water," to facilitate cunnilingus.
This role-play is especially helpful to those who don't have hot tubs, or who may have suggested strip Uno because they thought a
However in this lifestyle that couldn't be further from the truth. The problem is that if there is too much chit chat then someone is always in danger of being dumbfounded by the use of a big word. It's hard to be sexy when all the blood is now rushing to your head in a desperate attempt to draw upon a vocabulary that just isn't there in the first place. How do you get around this? Well, I certainly don't need to explain the folly of having a dictionary next to the hot tub.
This is why it is strongly encouraged that swingers incorporate healthy role-play. When trying to get that new couple to first base it's best to stick with the basics. A good old fashion game of Neanderthals...ahem, excuse me, I mean cave people. Then the fun can proceed upon simple phrases like, "You look good" or "Me touch you now?" When becoming aroused you might say, "Oooh, this is how make fire," or "I look in hole for water," to facilitate cunnilingus.
This role-play is especially helpful to those who don't have hot tubs, or who may have suggested strip Uno because they thought a
[quote=ARISTOTLE801]
You would think, as much as the phrase communication is key, gets bandied about people would really want to actively engage in communication. It would seem natural that the more experienced parties would take the lead in discussing how things get done much like flight instructors explaining that when the oxygen masks drop from the overhead compartment, you place it over your head, secure the elastic strap and breathe.
However in this lifestyle that couldn't be further from the truth. The problem is that if there is too much chit chat then someone is always in danger of being dumbfounded by the use of a big word. It's hard to be sexy when all the blood is now rushing to your head in a desperate attempt to draw upon a vocabulary that just isn't there in the first place. How do you get around this? Well, I certainly don't need to explain the folly of having a dictionary next to the hot tub.
This is why it is strongly encouraged that swingers incorporate healthy role-play. When trying to get that new couple to first base it's best to stick with the basics. A good old fashion game of Neanderthals...ahem, excuse me, I mean cave people. Then the fun can proceed upon simple phrases like, "You look good" or "Me touch you now?" When becoming aroused you might say, "Oooh, this is how make fire," or "I look in hole for water," to facilitate cunnilingus.
This role-play is especially helpful to those who don't have hot tubs, or who may have suggested strip Uno because they thought a
You would think, as much as the phrase communication is key, gets bandied about people would really want to actively engage in communication. It would seem natural that the more experienced parties would take the lead in discussing how things get done much like flight instructors explaining that when the oxygen masks drop from the overhead compartment, you place it over your head, secure the elastic strap and breathe.
However in this lifestyle that couldn't be further from the truth. The problem is that if there is too much chit chat then someone is always in danger of being dumbfounded by the use of a big word. It's hard to be sexy when all the blood is now rushing to your head in a desperate attempt to draw upon a vocabulary that just isn't there in the first place. How do you get around this? Well, I certainly don't need to explain the folly of having a dictionary next to the hot tub.
This is why it is strongly encouraged that swingers incorporate healthy role-play. When trying to get that new couple to first base it's best to stick with the basics. A good old fashion game of Neanderthals...ahem, excuse me, I mean cave people. Then the fun can proceed upon simple phrases like, "You look good" or "Me touch you now?" When becoming aroused you might say, "Oooh, this is how make fire," or "I look in hole for water," to facilitate cunnilingus.
This role-play is especially helpful to those who don't have hot tubs, or who may have suggested strip Uno because they thought a
My wife just takes off her clothes and the party begins.
I always like to break the ice with an upbeat Hello! ..Then suggest something like spin the body, naked wheel barrow races or perhaps a quick game of hide the penis. If that doesnt prompt a move in the right direction, I suggest we all get naked and try some "Captainnaturals Love butter" massage oils which always seems to work nicely..