So we've been to a few parties and get togethers and had conversations with people about how much age plays a role in who you play with... My question for all, is when does it become an issue. Obviously I know it's situational, but for example, I (mr) have been with some younger women, and I have also played with women that have children older than I am. In my humble opinion, it matters more on the idea of the chemistry than how many birthdays you've seen. Obviously, there are some lines that need be drawn, but why limit yourself to such a smaller crowd when we're all looking for the same thing for the most part?
I'm interested to see what others think about this, when does it make a difference to you?
I'm interested to see what others think about this, when does it make a difference to you?
How much of a difference is there between the sexes. Boys all have the fantasy of the older woman, which I still haven't grown out of... lol, then it seems men flip as they get older for the younger woman... Is it the same for women?
We agree it does depend on the situation. In that we are older we rarely seek out very younger playmates but,have been approached by some in their twenties and thirties, good times were had by all.
I guess we should make initiative and approach, I guess its that fear of rejection problem I think we all have.
I guess we should make initiative and approach, I guess its that fear of rejection problem I think we all have.
Everyone runs the fear of rejection in any encounter. Whether it's the approach, or even the play, or whether you stay in contact. We're still pretty new to the lifestyle I guess...we've yet to be approached, but made some good connections on those that wanted to get to know us...
Depends on the situation, chemisty, and maturity levels. I've met some 18 year olds that were more mature than 40something year olds and vice versa. Just depends on the person(s) really.
HELLO_KITTY12984 wrote:
Depends on the situation, chemisty, and maturity levels. I've met some 18 year olds that were more mature than 40something year olds and vice versa. Just depends on the person(s) really.
Best answer IMHO.
age isnt a huge deal for me but I do have a rule about not sleeping with anyone my mothers age or older. I also know there are some dang fine looking people a lot older then that.
Basically if they're no longer moving and have had high doses of Formaldehyde pumped into them, that's too old for me, and if having him put his thingy in my thangy would be illegal, that's just way too young. But then I'm prolly just fusy. 
If it is a party and you want to explore, I don
I wonder if some people can EVER keep their posts to one or two paragraphs, or is it that "age", as this forum suggests, also tends to cause some people to assume they have it ALL figured out, and regardless of the topic, like to preach, point fingers, counsel, and otherwise "know-it-all" about every gawd-damned topic that comes in here! 2 cents is always appreciated and admired. 99 cents is better left for the family "All-a-dollar". 
Wow who pissed in my Cheerios? Sorry folks. 
Wow who pissed in my Cheerios? Sorry folks. PEBBLEROCK wrote:
I wonder if some people can EVER keep their posts to one or two paragraphs, or is it that "age", as this forum suggests, also tends to cause some people to assume they have it ALL figured out, and regardless of the topic, like to preach, point fingers, counsel, and otherwise "know-it-all" about every gawd-damned topic that comes in here! 2 cents is always appreciated and admired. 99 cents is better left for the family "All-a-dollar".
psst. J. I think I'm rubbing off on you. Sorry. My bad. *takes cheerios away and hands him some gay water*.
I didn't mean to write two paragraphs... it just seems like it needed spacing for dramatic effect...
we get lots of questions about our age difference. I'm 7 years older than him. it comes up every time we meet a couple. truth is we just enjoy each other very much and we don't ever think about the difference when we're together. but we do like to tease each other about it... 
we do have a rule about not sleeping with people that are close to our parents ages though...which is why we have an age limit posted on our profile.
we do have a rule about not sleeping with people that are close to our parents ages though...which is why we have an age limit posted on our profile.
When it comes to age, for us, she has an upper limit, he has a lower limit.
There's always exceptions to the 'rules,' but they have to do with the way they carry themselves and look.
She doesn't like 'creepy old men,' however, she's drooled over a few older guys who took care of themselves and didn't act like old men.
He doesn't like younger women, but he's made a few exceptions.
We all have our reasons, we all have our desires, and we all have differing tastes in playmates.
There's always exceptions to the 'rules,' but they have to do with the way they carry themselves and look.
She doesn't like 'creepy old men,' however, she's drooled over a few older guys who took care of themselves and didn't act like old men.
He doesn't like younger women, but he's made a few exceptions.
We all have our reasons, we all have our desires, and we all have differing tastes in playmates.
Your all going to get there. Where you going to be then? Don't want anyone your mom & Dads age,Think 25 yrs from now. You opion's of the the lifestyle don't change, Just your age.
Your all going to get there. Where you going to be then? Don't want anyone your mom & Dads age,Think 25 yrs from now. You opion's of the the lifestyle don't change, Just your age.
We are a couple that is in our middle 50s and early 60s and have been in the lifestyle for over 12 years, we do not act or look our age. When we first started age was not a facter we where friends and played with couples half our age or 10-15 years older but now that we are there we have notice that it is a big issue for the younger folks. I guess we always thought that true lifestlyers was about friends and fun not about age!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is all about attraction.
We find it situational as well. Chemistry is most important. If 4 people are trying to get together and all four have that chemistry, we have found that age is not an issue.
CB & KB
CB & KB
chemistry and attraction are basically one and the same with us. Never had sex with anybody we weren't attracted to and didn't have chemistry with I guess. It is the package of the person/people.
It'd be pretty unusual for us to go more than 10 years in either direction in difference. Not to say there COULDN'T be an exception but in general that's our parameter.
BEARZYKINS look at your face, your lips, that smile, and those eyes...I would have to strongly disagree...you're "fit". You look more alive than a lot of people we have seen and that's where the real beauty lives...in your soul. It's all over your face. Peace.
PEBBLEROCK wrote:
BEARZYKINS look at your face, your lips, that smile, and those eyes...I would have to strongly disagree...you're "fit". You look more alive than a lot of people we have seen and that's where the real beauty lives...in your soul. It's all over your face. Peace.
I'll second that, you've always been pretty from where I've seen you.
If you think about it folks...Age is just a number. When you picked your partner/spouse, did you get them at the local supermarket on aisle 9 with the overhead sign reading ages 18-30?
Bet you didn't, you picked them because of who they are, right? Just a number folks, just a number.
Bet you didn't, you picked them because of who they are, right? Just a number folks, just a number.
You can do this in supermarkets now? Damn conservatives here in Utah... lol
They Don't call them "Organic" because it is healthy ...lol
Without scrutinizing each and every profile, I'm gonna take a stab in the dark here and say the median age on Swingular is somewhere right around 40.
That being said, it's probably fair to assume most folks are flexible to within a few years in either direction when choosing playmates.
BUT - consider both extreme ends of the spectrum.
It's doubtful anyone in their 20s or even 30s would have much interest in playing with us (we're in our 60s).
Conversly, we have ZERO interest in playing with anyone young enough to be our kids - much less our grandkids.
So, once again, by pure speculation, the ideal age to be here on Swingular (or anywhere else in the lifestyle), would likely lie somewhere between 30 and 50.
Beyond that, in either direction, the folks with interest in you (and vice/versa) are substantially reduced.
The term "awkward age" applies in more ways than one.
Agree or disagree?
That being said, it's probably fair to assume most folks are flexible to within a few years in either direction when choosing playmates.
BUT - consider both extreme ends of the spectrum.
It's doubtful anyone in their 20s or even 30s would have much interest in playing with us (we're in our 60s).
Conversly, we have ZERO interest in playing with anyone young enough to be our kids - much less our grandkids.
So, once again, by pure speculation, the ideal age to be here on Swingular (or anywhere else in the lifestyle), would likely lie somewhere between 30 and 50.
Beyond that, in either direction, the folks with interest in you (and vice/versa) are substantially reduced.
The term "awkward age" applies in more ways than one.
Agree or disagree?
Have to agree with Red69Dog, when we started playing 15 or so years ago our ideas of age was significantly different than it is now. Then we were very open to people over 18 and from there we would see what happened, now we are a little more likely to stay a little closer to our age range.
Bob
Bob
The best guideline I've ever heard is the "Half Plus Seven Rule". The youngest person you should be with should be half your age plus seven years. Seems to work out in most cases... of course, if you really hit it off with someone outside that limit, well... hey!
Interesting thread.. Based on my observations in the vanilla world, you may see in more cases an older gentleman with a younger partner. Whereas, it's not as common to see a Cougar with a much younger man, though it's becoming more common. Why a younger female is drawn to a much older man is something that could have more to do with relationship stability then sex. As for the older woman/ younger man, that one I'm not sure about. I assume it could be also for the same reasons, especially with the rise of woman's equality in the workforce. More successful women, may make more men interested in a relationship with that type of woman. This could explain why in the swinger world, age is a bigger turn on or turn off form most people, because it has little to do with relationships and more about rubbing sexual organs.
ABCWOMAN wrote:
Interesting thread.. Based on my observations in the vanilla world, you may see in more cases an older gentleman with a younger partner. Whereas, it's not as common to see a Cougar with a much younger man, though it's becoming more common. Why a younger female is drawn to a much older man is something that could have more to do with relationship stability then sex. As for the older woman/ younger man, that one I'm not sure about. I assume it could be also for the same reasons, especially with the rise of woman's equality in the workforce. More successful women, may make more men interested in a relationship with that type of woman. This could explain why in the swinger world, age is a bigger turn on or turn off form most people, because it has little to do with relationships and more about rubbing sexual organs.
But aren
Ok to me the Mrs,, age is the same as a shoe size,,, (however I don't want to sleep with someone that's my son's age or my dad's),it's all about maturity and how we get along,,I have met sm/sf/couples that have maturity issues and others that don't that's life. If we click, it can happen, however if we click and it's a friend thing only I will tell you. I have been with older/younger men and loved it. However, I don't like being with younger men that think they have to wear it out and prove something. Same difference with older men that are not attentive and miss the boat. I believe it is totally a matter of connection betweeen each person/couple for it to be a great time. Sex is a give and take between all partners and if you don't talk you miss out on what could be a great time for all.
Same can be true of other stereotypes so sometimes you gotta think outside the box,,lol
So if your interested in us, lets talk, if not good luck and have fun.
Same can be true of other stereotypes so sometimes you gotta think outside the box,,lol
So if your interested in us, lets talk, if not good luck and have fun.
Age never matters. How old you LOOK is when it matters.
I think age does make a difference depending on whether u know that person already socially or doing it cold over the internet.
I Think the trend is older women going for youger guy's rather then the opposite.
I guess there are common sense guide lines, if your 40 i'm sure you're not going for someone who's 60 but if you're 60 you'll probably do someone 40.
Bottom line is chemistry, but if it's just for sex...
I Think the trend is older women going for youger guy's rather then the opposite.
I guess there are common sense guide lines, if your 40 i'm sure you're not going for someone who's 60 but if you're 60 you'll probably do someone 40.
Bottom line is chemistry, but if it's just for sex...
I am 55, my wife is 39 and we have been together for 14 years and we still have not noticed any age related issues, we play with whom we feel a conection to and have never asked a birthdate. no problems thus far.
Just to be on the safe side we like to be sure they are at least 21. We like to have a drink to relax so we like them to be legal. The rest is just chemistry and if we find them interesting. I'm 39 but sometimes I act younger than I am. But I don't get the whole school girl fetish. Seems like there are a lot of parties with that theme. Just never was a turn on for us.
I think the real question is (taken chemistry out of it) if you're 39 would you be inyerested in a 60 year old. I can understand a 25 year old going for a 45 year old, but would u go for a 60 year old?
Just curious.
Just curious.
A few years back I (peachZ) attended a kinky salon party in San Francisco where the theme was 'age play'. While most of the attendees were late 20's-40's, the costumery allowed us all to expand that sense. Pajama's, kinky 50's style housewives, and boy scouts, and severe matrons were just some of the characters that folks chose to explore. It was interesting, and rather fun.
If it's an issue, why not make a game of it? A mask/costume can be a means to try out different personalities and see how deep the rabbit hole really goes.
If it's an issue, why not make a game of it? A mask/costume can be a means to try out different personalities and see how deep the rabbit hole really goes.
MASSMN wrote:
I think the real question is (taken chemistry out of it) if you're 39 would you be inyerested in a 60 year old. I can understand a 25 year old going for a 45 year old, but would u go for a 60 year old?
Just curious.
Who gets to decide on what age you start finding people unattractive? I don't think that's a fair assessment. While it's a personal opinion, I don't think there can be a cut and dry answer....
Chemistry is a completely personal issue and not one needs to be defined, explained, or justified. You are attracted to you are attracted to because they meet your needs either on a physical level, a mental level, or an emotional level. You may try to stick to some hard face rules about what is attractive to you in a potential playmate but don't be surprised when you find yourself lusting or curious over someone you never saw yourself with. You are an adult. As long as what you're chasing or wanting is of legal consent, then the only people concerned are the people directly involved.
I personally am coming to grips that I am not immediately attracted to men in my age group or older. Yes, I like younger eye candy. However, there are a few local guys here that are my age and even a bit older that I have met and gotten to know that for some reason seem to make my motor run and I'm waiting for the time I can pounce on them. And there are some younger 20 somethings that do the same thing.
I'm learning to give myself some leeway and permission to feel whatever attraction I do to whomever I do. And it's opened up so many more possibilities and created some wonderful friendships. Both in people in my preferable age group and with those out of it on both sides of the spectrum.
Will that work for everybody? Only if you really don't want it too. But that's ok. Like I said. You're attracted to who you are attracted to and that needs no justification.
xox
Tammy
p.s. J, sorry for the all a dollar response. but you know me.....most people leave pennies, I leave quarters.
I personally am coming to grips that I am not immediately attracted to men in my age group or older. Yes, I like younger eye candy. However, there are a few local guys here that are my age and even a bit older that I have met and gotten to know that for some reason seem to make my motor run and I'm waiting for the time I can pounce on them. And there are some younger 20 somethings that do the same thing.
I'm learning to give myself some leeway and permission to feel whatever attraction I do to whomever I do. And it's opened up so many more possibilities and created some wonderful friendships. Both in people in my preferable age group and with those out of it on both sides of the spectrum.
Will that work for everybody? Only if you really don't want it too. But that's ok. Like I said. You're attracted to who you are attracted to and that needs no justification.
xox
Tammy
p.s. J, sorry for the all a dollar response. but you know me.....most people leave pennies, I leave quarters.
Well I think it's fair to say you've got plenty of guys on either side of the barrier just hoping for the chance you'll pounce...
Don't know if I just want to curl up with a cup of tea and a blanket or just spit out my teeth and enter an old folks home. Wonder if I would fit in with the "old creeepy men" or just an old fart who can still get it up! But hey, we have learned a few lessons by the time we get to this advanced age and just like a fine wine some things actually do get better with age... Just sayin.
To us, age is irrelevant. We feel that chemistry and compatibility are what counts.
If we stuck to our age-range, we'd have very little options, lol. We like a nice balance of maturity and a young-at-heart attitude. Chemistry can take it from there.
i dont think age is all that matters at all. we have played with both older and younger and had a great time and a lot of fun with both. i am younger than my girlfriend she laughs at me because of that at times but we love eachother and will continue to swing even after we get married on 11/11/11 so all of you cum out and party with us know matter what your ages
I'm in medicine professionally. Not a day goes by that I don't walk into a patient's room and find myself double checking the chart... "seriously? this OLD guy/lady is 30 years old, 40...?!!" On the other hand it's not terribly unusual (although not quite as common...) for me to walk into a room and think to myself, "you can't really be 50, 60, 70 years old?, you are amazing!!" I've become convinced that after about 30 it's not the years, it's the mileage... attitude, fitness, self image... and a dozen other far less quantifiable factors than birthdate.
You are going to be attracted to whom you are attracted. It's stupid to fight it or imagine otherwise. This is all supposed to be fun, erotic, enjoyable right? But don't make the mistake of automatically dismissing someone JUST because they are 5, 10, 20 years older than you. There is SO much more to it than the number on the drivers license...
You are going to be attracted to whom you are attracted. It's stupid to fight it or imagine otherwise. This is all supposed to be fun, erotic, enjoyable right? But don't make the mistake of automatically dismissing someone JUST because they are 5, 10, 20 years older than you. There is SO much more to it than the number on the drivers license...
Age is not an issue for these ladies..lol
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