i have a question how to ask the woman if she would like to be part of this lifestyle with out her freaking out and been mad?
I agree with Ayla. It's all about fantasies, and it's not for everyone. But make them feel as safe as possible to allow them to openly explain whatever fantasies they might have. Sometimes people are ashamed of them, but if they feel completely safe, you should be able to discuss some of the things they haven't yet tried, but might want to. It's crazy to learn some of the fantasies they may have had for years, but never had the guts to tell you. We are a couple that is all about fantasies and helping people explore them. In just talking about them with our friends, we have actually brought a few couples into the lifestyle.