*As with anything, please take the following with a grain of salt and only what applies to you....
1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out.
2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partner's mouth while you get off is hot. It depends on the situation.
3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all wound up.
4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault.
5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is uncomfortable after a while. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but when it's time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.
6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that's nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a pornstar all the time. If you're not willing to do that, don't expect him to switch for you.
7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the shit that Cosmo forces down your throats, sex is NOT just about women. Get over it.
8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I dont know who comes up with half that shit, but I'm pretty sure they need counseling.
9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking your hair. Know why he's pushing, skippy? Because you aren't doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he's given you. Pay attention to the signals that he's sending you.
10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.
11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He's about to get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.
12. Not shaving your legs. If you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.
13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the Amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don't want to go bare. That's fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can't shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that shit if you want him to spend any time down there.
14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo-hoo dilly in your cha-cha. That's as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.
15. Withholding oral sex just because you're ragging. He didn't do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he's hormonal, I suggest you get some knee pads.
16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you're having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like "I stubbed my toe" "I ran up the steps" or "I was putting up drywall".
17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you're sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it's just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn't be having sex anyway. Go back to Junior High.
18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn't be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to cum, it's his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy.
19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.
20. Dissing quickies because it's not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. There's an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking.
21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn't acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say NO like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt.
22. Expecting him to undress you. Women put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isn't always easy. Help a brother out.
23. Undressing in the dark. If you're shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either.
24. Refusing to get on top. There's no reason men should have to do all the work.
25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn't suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.
26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you're riding him. It's your body, you're used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to make his job easier.
27. Being too afraid to guide your partner's hand when he's touching you. Don't like the way he's doing it? Gently take his hand and show him how you like it.
28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn't. It's your choice to stop, but don't look all fucking surprised when he's confused. You got him naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen?
29. Refusing to let him take control. So you are a feminist. Big fucking deal. Letting him call the shots doesn't make you any less of one.
30. Refusing to take control. It's ok to crawl across a bed to him on all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It's not his responsibility to start things all the time.
31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis.
32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don't ignore them.
33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn't want to deal with the mess.
34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty fuck you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view.
35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to break, sister. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory.
36. Refusing to try things in the name of "making love". You're not making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it.
37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters.
38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a threesome. It's the American dream. (Quick interjection - one request for a threesome is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so much. Know the difference).
39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god-awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water.
40. Nails. It's one thing tracing them up and down your partners back. It's another when you snag the goods with a claw.
41. Bitching when you get jizz on you. You're having sex. That will happen. That's the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and can't jizz and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.
42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he's the best you've had, even if he isn't.
43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don't. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he's doing everything right. And if he doesn't know it's not working, he's not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego.
44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven't showered that day, and things smell a little... fishy... perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you.
45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved beforehand. I don't care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.
46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have these rare Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They'll wash.
47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really fucking you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all it's cracked up to be.
48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by is not the way to do it.
49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he's probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like "it happens to every guy". Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn't, get off another way with him. He's still capable of getting you off. Mumbling "forget it" and rolling over are not ok.
50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of "was it good for you?". Now is not a good time to ask "What this means". Right now, it means he probably needs to take a drink, a leak and a nap, perhaps not in that order.
1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out.
2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partner's mouth while you get off is hot. It depends on the situation.
3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all wound up.
4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault.
5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is uncomfortable after a while. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but when it's time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.
6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that's nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a pornstar all the time. If you're not willing to do that, don't expect him to switch for you.
7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the shit that Cosmo forces down your throats, sex is NOT just about women. Get over it.
8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I dont know who comes up with half that shit, but I'm pretty sure they need counseling.
9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking your hair. Know why he's pushing, skippy? Because you aren't doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he's given you. Pay attention to the signals that he's sending you.
10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.
11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He's about to get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.
12. Not shaving your legs. If you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.
13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the Amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don't want to go bare. That's fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can't shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that shit if you want him to spend any time down there.
14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo-hoo dilly in your cha-cha. That's as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.
15. Withholding oral sex just because you're ragging. He didn't do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he's hormonal, I suggest you get some knee pads.
16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you're having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like "I stubbed my toe" "I ran up the steps" or "I was putting up drywall".
17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you're sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it's just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn't be having sex anyway. Go back to Junior High.
18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn't be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to cum, it's his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy.
19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.
20. Dissing quickies because it's not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. There's an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking.
21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn't acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say NO like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt.
22. Expecting him to undress you. Women put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isn't always easy. Help a brother out.
23. Undressing in the dark. If you're shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either.
24. Refusing to get on top. There's no reason men should have to do all the work.
25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn't suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.
26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you're riding him. It's your body, you're used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to make his job easier.
27. Being too afraid to guide your partner's hand when he's touching you. Don't like the way he's doing it? Gently take his hand and show him how you like it.
28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn't. It's your choice to stop, but don't look all fucking surprised when he's confused. You got him naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen?
29. Refusing to let him take control. So you are a feminist. Big fucking deal. Letting him call the shots doesn't make you any less of one.
30. Refusing to take control. It's ok to crawl across a bed to him on all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It's not his responsibility to start things all the time.
31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis.
32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don't ignore them.
33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn't want to deal with the mess.
34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty fuck you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view.
35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to break, sister. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory.
36. Refusing to try things in the name of "making love". You're not making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it.
37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters.
38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a threesome. It's the American dream. (Quick interjection - one request for a threesome is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so much. Know the difference).
39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god-awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water.
40. Nails. It's one thing tracing them up and down your partners back. It's another when you snag the goods with a claw.
41. Bitching when you get jizz on you. You're having sex. That will happen. That's the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and can't jizz and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.
42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he's the best you've had, even if he isn't.
43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don't. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he's doing everything right. And if he doesn't know it's not working, he's not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego.
44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven't showered that day, and things smell a little... fishy... perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you.
45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved beforehand. I don't care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.
46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have these rare Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They'll wash.
47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really fucking you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all it's cracked up to be.
48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by is not the way to do it.
49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he's probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like "it happens to every guy". Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn't, get off another way with him. He's still capable of getting you off. Mumbling "forget it" and rolling over are not ok.
50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of "was it good for you?". Now is not a good time to ask "What this means". Right now, it means he probably needs to take a drink, a leak and a nap, perhaps not in that order.
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat.
This made me laugh really hard
Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat.
This made me laugh really hard
I'm dating myself here, but regarding #48 ... I always remembered (and loved) the line in American Gigolo, where he is starting to take the sheets up, and she says (I'm paraphrasing), "No. Leave them on. I want it to smell like we've been fucking in here." (Which they had been.) Yummy.
Mr.
Mr.
OMG!!!! Yes. Ask and ye shall recieve, even if he may not be totally comfortable with what you are asking of him.
Love the midgets and goats! Lol. Many good points as well.
awesome post. It takes 2 to tango...and sometimes 3 or more.
CB
CB
and exactly HOW... Did you come up with this August and delightfull list oh Eyes~o~blue? Hummmmm??? PS: We want to do strange things to your body with the Presidential Seal....
And dont expect us to want to snuggle for 5 -15 mins... Us guys have this primal urge to watch our backs after an act of sex and make sure we are not about to get clubbed in the head. I believe this feeling comes from us being so distracted during sex and vulnerable to attack from nearby males.
Think I am joking I bet other guys will chime in here and agree with me??
Think I am joking I bet other guys will chime in here and agree with me??
There are some really good points in there. The part about saying what's right or wrong during is huge. It's not only a turn on to bear when you're doing right, but it will all that much more rewarding for the both of you in the end! Should put one together for what men's mistakes are if the site will allow that long a post. 
And dudes.... Don't be afraid to ask a lady where you can cum. I always do so I don't give them an unwanted facial. . So far, most ladies have simply said, " not in my eye please". We are going to be naked doing naughty things to each other. Kinda silly we can't talk about it first (and not as you are getting naked). That is why sexting is not only fun but, you get to find out what they like and what they want you to do to them.
. So far, most ladies have simply said, " not in my eye please". We are going to be naked doing naughty things to each other. Kinda silly we can't talk about it first (and not as you are getting naked). That is why sexting is not only fun but, you get to find out what they like and what they want you to do to them.It is interesting that the woman's list is quite a bit longer that then mens list....
you are right Maybemor. I have no problem snuggling but it doesn't need to last forever and if it gets uncomfortable it is over. Snuggling is better for me on the couch watching a movie or something anyhow. It depends on what type of sex it is anyhow. Was it making love or getting nasty with each other? Or a little of both?
I still catch myself being surprised just to be a part of it.............
I still catch myself being surprised just to be a part of it.............
I think that some of the women's list is a little extreme. You have to realize that at the core, we are still men, and in most cases are gonna be happy to get there. There were a few on here I think would be looked over quite easily.
I don't need this. I am perfect. I don't do anything wrong in bed.............. BWAHAHAHAHAH Ok, Sry, blueeyes drugged me so I am feeling a lil silly
POUNDCAKE wrote:
you are right Maybemor. I have no problem snuggling but it doesn't need to last forever and if it gets uncomfortable it is over. Snuggling is better for me on the couch watching a movie or something anyhow. It depends on what type of sex it is anyhow. Was it making love or getting nasty with each other? Or a little of both?
I still catch myself being surprised just to be a part of it.............
Just out of curiosity....5-15 minutes is forever?? Lol
T4REAL69 wrote:
"Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters"
Midgets and goats are fine it's those clowns that always creep me out....not to mention some of them are just downright mean! Lol
Well damn...there goes the midget clown riding a goat I had planned for your next visit
I think the list might be longer if it were written by a man, except that your average man isn't going to want to risk pissing someone off and not getting some.
At both lists core is communication (women frequently like to think they are better communicators). Both genders need to be better at talking about what they want and don't want. However, this assumes the encounter has some space beforehand for this communication to occur.
Now, to add to the list:
A. If you are only interested in a one night stand, don't be afraid to say so, sure he might say no, but more likely you'll have a better experience because it will free up the both of you to focus on the quality of the sex and not worry that you have to constrain that fuck face.
B. Don't assume you are good at anything. Sometimes women think they are blow job queens, they jump right to it. Sadly they are not. While I've heard plenty of locker room talk from men who'd rather have a blow job than anything else, other men don't really care for them. I can endure most blow jobs indefinitely. Personally I'm a bigger fan of 69, and I enjoy the competitive nature of it. When she has to stop because you're tongue is driving her crazy- you've won. Eventually we will cum from a blow job, but if their is any area a man is likely to "fake it" this is it. Women often want to know how good they were at giving their "prized" blow job. If a man ever looked down, smiled so sweetly and said, "Baby, you really sucked!" There is a good chance he was being sarcastic.
C. Lose the "Protestant attitude" if you've had sex before, then you aren't giving me your "Gift." I strive to give as much as I get, and I most enjoy driving a woman to an intense orgasm. On the occasion it's clear that orgasm has taken her somewhere she's never been, I don't always need reciprocation.
D. Regardless of the situation, you're never doing me a favor by having sex with me. I suppose so if I were ugly as sin, but in truth, sex isn't that hard to come-by. Having synergy with a terrific person, sharing a magical moment. Being able to be really comfortable with someone and not have non-sex related expectations intrude-that's rare.
E. Try and be open to new things. How many times have I heard, "No man's ever been able to get me off with his fingers," and then proceed to do just that. Some of us actually know what we are doing, we know how to read a woman, and we know how to build tumescence. Just because the last guy you spent five years with doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. Don't assume the rest of us don't.
F. We are not machines. This may seem to be covered above, but I'm talking about more than an erection. I'll admit, that when testosterone is very very high, yep, then there is that, 'I'm ready to fuck anything that moves' attitude. Fortunately I have a mind, a brain, and some self control (ie if you want an 18 year-old I'm betting that's not hard to find). However testosterone subsides over our twenties, that doesn't mean we can't perform (we perform better I think)it just means there's a good chance we have intellect, personality, and emotion to throw into the mix.
G. "Typical Man" - Yes, there are a lot of them. They are easy to spot because they run in packs, whether it's a pack at the office, at the gym, or through the pursuit of some hobby they are easy to spot. Not all men are pacmen (yes that is intentional). As much as women complain about typical men, the good news is you can count on them for being consistent. Know what you want. Non-typical men will throw you- we're thinking things, observers, complex problem solvers, activist, debaters - and often non-superficially kinky as shit! Know what you want and it will be most likely you'll get what you desire.
H. Women are just as guilty as men of objectification. I'm not going to give examples- just be aware.
I. Try and get over your past shit. It's hard, I know, most of us have been there at one point or another. I can have a mad passionate, romantic night, and may choose to have another with you at another time. There may be relationship potential, there may not-last night isn't indicative of anything. The truth is I won't know until I know you really really well. I can know your complete history- at least as you tell it, and not know you at all. I know you when I know that history plus observed how you behave on a general basis, whether we share the same goals in life, and if we have common and enduring interests.
J. Try a little gratitude. If you really, really enjoyed something don't be afraid to say it and show it. Don't hold back because you think it will "puff up his ego," it's nice, and it's important. When someone has really gone out of their way to provide you with a wonderful time gratitude leaves us thinking nice things about you.
K. Just because X exists doesn't mean it's a variable that needs to go into every equation. I only take people down to the dungeon who really want to go, sure I might show you the iron door, let you know it's there, but really it's never any fun to do an activity with someone who hates it. That's like forcing Opera on children. However if you force Opera on children, you probably deserve to be dragged to the dungeon. Like Opera, you need to warm up to alternative kink.
L. It's okay to be dumb. The smartest thing you can do is admit it, then if I use a word you don't understand you can feel okay asking what it means instead of sulking, or silently denigrating me for my intellect. It also frees me up not to love you for your mind, or to expect you to understand why I think Sara Palin is a moron. This way I can find and appreciate your best qualities. Most people who use big words, do so because it's part of their natural language set, not because they're trying to sound smart.
Feel free to add to this list.
At both lists core is communication (women frequently like to think they are better communicators). Both genders need to be better at talking about what they want and don't want. However, this assumes the encounter has some space beforehand for this communication to occur.
Now, to add to the list:
A. If you are only interested in a one night stand, don't be afraid to say so, sure he might say no, but more likely you'll have a better experience because it will free up the both of you to focus on the quality of the sex and not worry that you have to constrain that fuck face.
B. Don't assume you are good at anything. Sometimes women think they are blow job queens, they jump right to it. Sadly they are not. While I've heard plenty of locker room talk from men who'd rather have a blow job than anything else, other men don't really care for them. I can endure most blow jobs indefinitely. Personally I'm a bigger fan of 69, and I enjoy the competitive nature of it. When she has to stop because you're tongue is driving her crazy- you've won. Eventually we will cum from a blow job, but if their is any area a man is likely to "fake it" this is it. Women often want to know how good they were at giving their "prized" blow job. If a man ever looked down, smiled so sweetly and said, "Baby, you really sucked!" There is a good chance he was being sarcastic.
C. Lose the "Protestant attitude" if you've had sex before, then you aren't giving me your "Gift." I strive to give as much as I get, and I most enjoy driving a woman to an intense orgasm. On the occasion it's clear that orgasm has taken her somewhere she's never been, I don't always need reciprocation.
D. Regardless of the situation, you're never doing me a favor by having sex with me. I suppose so if I were ugly as sin, but in truth, sex isn't that hard to come-by. Having synergy with a terrific person, sharing a magical moment. Being able to be really comfortable with someone and not have non-sex related expectations intrude-that's rare.
E. Try and be open to new things. How many times have I heard, "No man's ever been able to get me off with his fingers," and then proceed to do just that. Some of us actually know what we are doing, we know how to read a woman, and we know how to build tumescence. Just because the last guy you spent five years with doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. Don't assume the rest of us don't.
F. We are not machines. This may seem to be covered above, but I'm talking about more than an erection. I'll admit, that when testosterone is very very high, yep, then there is that, 'I'm ready to fuck anything that moves' attitude. Fortunately I have a mind, a brain, and some self control (ie if you want an 18 year-old I'm betting that's not hard to find). However testosterone subsides over our twenties, that doesn't mean we can't perform (we perform better I think)it just means there's a good chance we have intellect, personality, and emotion to throw into the mix.
G. "Typical Man" - Yes, there are a lot of them. They are easy to spot because they run in packs, whether it's a pack at the office, at the gym, or through the pursuit of some hobby they are easy to spot. Not all men are pacmen (yes that is intentional). As much as women complain about typical men, the good news is you can count on them for being consistent. Know what you want. Non-typical men will throw you- we're thinking things, observers, complex problem solvers, activist, debaters - and often non-superficially kinky as shit! Know what you want and it will be most likely you'll get what you desire.
H. Women are just as guilty as men of objectification. I'm not going to give examples- just be aware.
I. Try and get over your past shit. It's hard, I know, most of us have been there at one point or another. I can have a mad passionate, romantic night, and may choose to have another with you at another time. There may be relationship potential, there may not-last night isn't indicative of anything. The truth is I won't know until I know you really really well. I can know your complete history- at least as you tell it, and not know you at all. I know you when I know that history plus observed how you behave on a general basis, whether we share the same goals in life, and if we have common and enduring interests.
J. Try a little gratitude. If you really, really enjoyed something don't be afraid to say it and show it. Don't hold back because you think it will "puff up his ego," it's nice, and it's important. When someone has really gone out of their way to provide you with a wonderful time gratitude leaves us thinking nice things about you.
K. Just because X exists doesn't mean it's a variable that needs to go into every equation. I only take people down to the dungeon who really want to go, sure I might show you the iron door, let you know it's there, but really it's never any fun to do an activity with someone who hates it. That's like forcing Opera on children. However if you force Opera on children, you probably deserve to be dragged to the dungeon. Like Opera, you need to warm up to alternative kink.
L. It's okay to be dumb. The smartest thing you can do is admit it, then if I use a word you don't understand you can feel okay asking what it means instead of sulking, or silently denigrating me for my intellect. It also frees me up not to love you for your mind, or to expect you to understand why I think Sara Palin is a moron. This way I can find and appreciate your best qualities. Most people who use big words, do so because it's part of their natural language set, not because they're trying to sound smart.
Feel free to add to this list.
Blueeyesinutah - I don't know where you came from but you fucking rock! I love your wit and honest, comical posts.
DIRTYCPLUT wrote:
Blueeyesinutah - I don't know where you came from but you fucking rock! I love your wit and honest, comical posts.
Aww thanks. But I can't take credit for the Fatal Mistakes posts. I just know how to copy and paste real well. LOL
xox
Tammy
I luv both the woman's and the men's list. Good stuff here. I learned a lot and feel better after reading the list about what women should and should not do.
I've met few women who tell me what they want, need and like. I seem to have to pry it out of them or they assume I should already know what they like and don't like. Is it that some women think telling men (what they like) means they are whores or what?
I especially like the one about men and erections.
I also hate when a woman asks me "Are you going to cum?" However I luv it when they say "Fuck me...yes fuck me!" or "Yeah..right there...yeeeeesssss!" Or "Butt fuck me!" "Eat my pussy-cunt!" "Lick it harder!" etc. Dirty talk is a big turn on to me.
I've met few women who tell me what they want, need and like. I seem to have to pry it out of them or they assume I should already know what they like and don't like. Is it that some women think telling men (what they like) means they are whores or what?
I especially like the one about men and erections.
I also hate when a woman asks me "Are you going to cum?" However I luv it when they say "Fuck me...yes fuck me!" or "Yeah..right there...yeeeeesssss!" Or "Butt fuck me!" "Eat my pussy-cunt!" "Lick it harder!" etc. Dirty talk is a big turn on to me.
ARISTOTLE801 - You have a dungeon??? kinky LOL ... awesome posts from everyone, had me intently reading for a long time, laughing, & saying "yeah, that's right" thanks Blueeyes, that was awesome!!
... awesome posts from everyone, had me intently reading for a long time, laughing, & saying "yeah, that's right" thanks Blueeyes, that was awesome!!Again Blueeyes you are a huge turn on. I am starting to wonder if you are doing this on purpose to get me going.
MRCOWBOYOPIE85 wrote:
Again Blueeyes you are a huge turn on. I am starting to wonder if you are doing this on purpose to get me going.
In a word...maybe.
btw the way...some men can get it up whenever! i have never once had that problem!! as my 30s creep closer it might soon though haha
heh, um - well, I for one know that I don't have the energy that I used to for that....and size changes depending on energy as well, which does make a male feel slightly less adequate.
win!!