Lots of assumptions to make here but lets say you found a good STD DNA test panel and all concerned were willing to take it and divulge the results and take some kind of oath to remain loyal to the 6-8 couples in the group or abstain from the group if they had some out of the group activity.
IT seems like you could lesson the STD risks considerably?
I guess the obvious pros :
Lower STD risks.
Comfort from the same friends and partners.
Cons:
Low number of partners.
Time consuming to form and add new folks to the group.
I realize this idea is not for everyone so if it is a crazy idea to you just move along.
For others that might have a newfound respect or always had a respect for STD's like us and have thought of this type of group please add you comments.
IT seems like you could lesson the STD risks considerably?
I guess the obvious pros :
Lower STD risks.
Comfort from the same friends and partners.
Cons:
Low number of partners.
Time consuming to form and add new folks to the group.
I realize this idea is not for everyone so if it is a crazy idea to you just move along.
For others that might have a newfound respect or always had a respect for STD's like us and have thought of this type of group please add you comments.
Interesting
Sounds very Interesting.
Interesting idea. It is hard enough to find a couple where all four are both attracted and comfortable with each other. To find multiple couples that all have that synergy would be quite and accomplishment.
Maybemor: a con may or may not also be the cost of getting such extensive testing. I know AIM testing costs $750.
HOTCPL34 wrote:HELLO_KITTY12984 wrote:WOW, AIM down in Van Nuys a few years ago was about $160 or around there.I am not sure if that was just for people in porn or anybody that walks in the door.Hell it would be cheaper to go to Ca. and get it done there!
Maybemor: a con may or may not also be the cost of getting such extensive testing. I know AIM testing costs $750.
I was doing porn, that's why I had to pay. I got charged $700 in CA and $750 in FL. but that WAS several years ago, so maybe its changed.
that's why i said may or may not be since i'm not sure of cost changes.
serious about commitment and financially able are a little different, but i know what you mean. (we used to get tested every 6 months, but its been a little longer since the last one due to the fact that we've been unemployed and can barely pay our bills.)
and that definitely is the advantage of the DNA level testing. you get your results MUCH faster. its a lot nicer.
In general, I say if y'all get enough people together for such a group, that's awesome.
Is being tested the only requirement for your closed group though? things get messy enough about the local parties supposedly being picky, it might get worse if we get a closed group in here that end up being the nazis of swingerland. :P
and that definitely is the advantage of the DNA level testing. you get your results MUCH faster. its a lot nicer.
In general, I say if y'all get enough people together for such a group, that's awesome.
Is being tested the only requirement for your closed group though? things get messy enough about the local parties supposedly being picky, it might get worse if we get a closed group in here that end up being the nazis of swingerland. :P
Glad to see some positive chat going on here. We have also experienced a lack of interest by peeps in talking about STD's and testing.
The 6-8 couple number was just an idea. Just seemed like being able to get busy active folks with multiple hobbies together is so hard that you might want a larger group available.
Not sure how you go about forming this kind of group. It might take some time due to the fact that HIV may take 90 days or more to show up so the group would almost have to get tested and then remain loyal to the rules. In the mean time interested members could meet for fun activities and getting acquainted and on the sexy side of things perhaps engage in same room/tantra/voyeuristic activities for a few months and then get tested again. I guess by that time it might be fairly evident which folks are serious or not.
I guess there might be a subgroup of men that have had a vasectomy.
I guess folks would have to be willing to get printed results and share them with the group or something.
There would be a continuing testing cost and schedule at whatever the best medical advice dictates.
It sounds like a lot of work but for those of us who have never been able to close off our mind to these risks this is probably the only way we are ever going to go full swap or play much at all.
That all does sound kinda serious but after all the formalities are over it could be quite refreshing.
The 6-8 couple number was just an idea. Just seemed like being able to get busy active folks with multiple hobbies together is so hard that you might want a larger group available.
Not sure how you go about forming this kind of group. It might take some time due to the fact that HIV may take 90 days or more to show up so the group would almost have to get tested and then remain loyal to the rules. In the mean time interested members could meet for fun activities and getting acquainted and on the sexy side of things perhaps engage in same room/tantra/voyeuristic activities for a few months and then get tested again. I guess by that time it might be fairly evident which folks are serious or not.
I guess there might be a subgroup of men that have had a vasectomy.
I guess folks would have to be willing to get printed results and share them with the group or something.
There would be a continuing testing cost and schedule at whatever the best medical advice dictates.
It sounds like a lot of work but for those of us who have never been able to close off our mind to these risks this is probably the only way we are ever going to go full swap or play much at all.
That all does sound kinda serious but after all the formalities are over it could be quite refreshing.
No need for safe groups and/or testing anymore!!!!!
Ya know That might be worth it with M Bob. Just like you two to show up to a party in something so cool.
I guess the cost might be an issue but what does a lifetime of meds cost for the some of the other possible outcomes?
Sure would be fun to go to Desires with a group of 6-8 couples in such a group.
Realistically how many folks could be faithful for the 3-4 months?
That would be easy for us but I am sure not possible for others.
I might add this link for some incubation periods. I get my 90 day number on HIV from sources like this and using the DNA testing. Also I might add everyone should get a Hep B shot and follow up a few weeks later. Totally preventable and not such a nice thing to have.
I guess the cost might be an issue but what does a lifetime of meds cost for the some of the other possible outcomes?
Sure would be fun to go to Desires with a group of 6-8 couples in such a group.
Realistically how many folks could be faithful for the 3-4 months?
That would be easy for us but I am sure not possible for others.
I might add this link for some incubation periods. I get my 90 day number on HIV from sources like this and using the DNA testing. Also I might add everyone should get a Hep B shot and follow up a few weeks later. Totally preventable and not such a nice thing to have.
I surely dont want to make this about smoking or not. Before folks get to choosing the minor preferences of compatibility most folks would probably agree that tops on your list are folks that are truly STD free. Without testing for us that has meant finding other newbie couples and getting to know very few of them enough to form a trust of some type. That has probably been an error on our part both in trusting without verification by testing and in avoiding the more experienced folks.
I might add that even before ABC I had thought about a common day that everyone went and got tested or got tested at a M & G. I have since learned about the lack of testing most private Docs provide on yearly physicals and that PP only test for 3 major things. HIV, Clam, and Gon. Plus this time lag and we need Spock or Data to help us figure this out.
I might add that even before ABC I had thought about a common day that everyone went and got tested or got tested at a M & G. I have since learned about the lack of testing most private Docs provide on yearly physicals and that PP only test for 3 major things. HIV, Clam, and Gon. Plus this time lag and we need Spock or Data to help us figure this out.
We would be interested in joining such a group.
MAYBEMOR, the Groups section of the website looks like it is working now. That might be a great place to start an "SDT Free" group for couples who are interested in the concept you are proposing.
We would love to find another couple and be exclusive with them if we could find one which we were that compatible with. That would mean more of an emotional connection with the other couple which I guess makes us more poly than just swinging.
INVITESOME wrote:
Interesting idea. It is hard enough to find a couple where all four are both attracted and comfortable with each other. To find multiple couples that all have that synergy would be quite and accomplishment.
My thoughts precisely....
Avatars,
I just wanted to let you know the situation you are referring to happened to me. My former spouse and I played in the lifestyle and had many wonderful friends. Over time, we became very close to another couple and both couples are now divorced - and my former spouse is now married to her. So yes, this does happen and I can see why people would be nervous about it.
Just my thoughts...BTW - my life is MUCH better now that we are divorced. They did me a favor!
I just wanted to let you know the situation you are referring to happened to me. My former spouse and I played in the lifestyle and had many wonderful friends. Over time, we became very close to another couple and both couples are now divorced - and my former spouse is now married to her. So yes, this does happen and I can see why people would be nervous about it.
Just my thoughts...BTW - my life is MUCH better now that we are divorced. They did me a favor!
OMG I had no idea
We have always been interested in such a group. We had never really considered the absolute testing thing, etc..but always thought it would be safer, and frankly, a lot more enjoyable just to have that type of comfortable, trusting, relationship, with several other people. We honestly have never been into collecting notches on our bedpost....
Here is some irony. A few weeks ago I posted about being tested every 3 months and that I keep copies of my tests at all times and a few people thought it was appropriate to poke fun of that. With my history of malnutrition, cancer, and a metabolic disorder, I have complete comprehensive testing like clockwork. And that includes HIV, HPV, STD, and everything else under the sun.
Nice to see some common sense prevailing. Nothing funny about not being safe and not testing on a regular consistent basis.
Nice to see some common sense prevailing. Nothing funny about not being safe and not testing on a regular consistent basis.
We both get tested on a regular basis, even if we havent been with anyone else. Something like you're proposing sounds great in theroy. But . as also stated, finding that many people who get along and are attracted to eachother would be the hardest.
As for emotional attacvhment .. it does happen. She has played with one partner off and on for over 17 years. And yes . i'm know there is a kind of emotional bond there.But the same with any encounter. I also know where she's going to end up at the end of the night.
As for emotional attacvhment .. it does happen. She has played with one partner off and on for over 17 years. And yes . i'm know there is a kind of emotional bond there.But the same with any encounter. I also know where she's going to end up at the end of the night.
We don`t visit this site much anymore because quite honestly, we simply are not looking. We have such a group, very similar to what the OP described. Cheating is the biggest obstacle to overcome. And when one cheats, it breaks the armor that protects the rest of the group. So don`t be foolish and think such a group would be "safe" but it is much "safer" this way. Our group is a bit bigger then mentioned, and that affords us the luxury of not having the compatibility problems. We don`t play with everyone in our group, but seems like there is always someone for everyone.
So yes, it can be done. Be prepared to put a lot of work into it, and a lot of time. We keep our group open to new people but they have to be on board with our way of enjoying the lifestyle, in as safe an environment as we can. We have had many like the idea of it but after giving it some thought, change their mind because they want the variety. Don`t take this form of rejection personal, it`s not.
So yes, it can be done. Be prepared to put a lot of work into it, and a lot of time. We keep our group open to new people but they have to be on board with our way of enjoying the lifestyle, in as safe an environment as we can. We have had many like the idea of it but after giving it some thought, change their mind because they want the variety. Don`t take this form of rejection personal, it`s not.