So maybe it's just because we are new to the lifestyle, but I'm curious as to how many couples have sex with someone just so their partner can be with the other? I realize that everyone isn't always gonna get along, but why go through it just so your partner can enjoy themselves. I know that sounds selfish, but I don't want to be watching her get pleasured while not really enjoying myself, and I sure as hell don't want to be the one someone else is just "doing" for the other.
How do you feel about it? If that's the case, why not just issue the hall pass?
How do you feel about it? If that's the case, why not just issue the hall pass?
My thoughts exactly. I've been in that situation where the male half was all over me but his female counterpart was clearly not into watching me with him and only doing it to make him happy. Hate it.
Admittedly, I've never been with a couple where the male half was jealous of seeing me with his female half tho. LOL
xox
Tammy
Admittedly, I've never been with a couple where the male half was jealous of seeing me with his female half tho. LOL
xox
Tammy
It happens a lot on here (the hall pass thing) I think.... I see it a lot in the booty calls....
We don't agree with it personally, we never play alone and since we are soft swap only, we make sure we both feel comfortable. If 1 of us isn't feeling it, it doesn't happen. But, thats just us.......
We don't agree with it personally, we never play alone and since we are soft swap only, we make sure we both feel comfortable. If 1 of us isn't feeling it, it doesn't happen. But, thats just us.......
Never. We pass up many couples because one of us is not comfortable with one of the couple. It is not worth it. We would rather go home and raid the refrigerator and be together than have one of us not enjoying themselves. That is one reason we go out mostly with single females and males. It is so much easier to find one that we both like.
cause with hall passes the other couple will back out (i think) usually hall passes apply to just men and as for us we dont want just a man...My girl likes girls more than men!! But we have only played a few times but already have "taken one" just as with most people we have different tastes and what we think are hot is 2 different ideals! but we always enjoy it..
CANDJ23 wrote:
usually hall passes apply to just men and as for us we dont want just a man...
That is hall pass discrimination.
INVITESOME wrote:
That is hall pass discrimination.
roflmao
Thats so funny
We had a situation that was shaping up that way and it was the most uncomfortable thing ever. We will only party if both of us are into both of them and vice versa. We feel that having everyone on board and comfortable is the funnest and the fairest for all involved.
TIABEAR wrote:INVITESOME wrote:
Never. We pass up many couples because one of us is not comfortable with one of the couple. It is not worth it. We would rather go home and raid the refrigerator and be together than have one of us not enjoying themselves. That is one reason we go out mostly with single females and males. It is so much easier to find one that we both like.
SO true! But *sigh* the everlasting hunt for the unicorn is always a tricky one! lol
They are all around. You just have to have special glasses to see them.
As a single male, the last thing I want to do is to make either party uncomfortable. I usually tend to be a bit quiet if I go to a party alone. I will usually join in the conversation that is happening. I will wait to be invited to join in any activities happening. Last thing I want to do is upset the other half of whom I am playing with.
the grocery store is full of unicorns, thats where we found ours
PITMOMMY wrote:
the grocery store is full of unicorns, thats where we found ours
LOL!
HIBRIGHTEYES wrote:PITMOMMY wrote:LOL!
the grocery store is full of unicorns, thats where we found ours
Meat, or Dairy?
HA HA!
Taking one for the team... Just to many picky people i assume lol
I know im not the greatest looking my self as the male half however the only time i would say no is if the other female was rude or arrogant or acted like a man hater. There are more than a few out there that act like they need special treatment from everyone lol
As for my wife she honestly isnt picky either as long as the male side isnt pushy or bossy or mean she has said yes to men that looked older than her father . She just wants to fool around is the main idea.
We do have a hard time socializing both of us but once it gets there we are ok now lol.
I know im not the greatest looking my self as the male half however the only time i would say no is if the other female was rude or arrogant or acted like a man hater. There are more than a few out there that act like they need special treatment from everyone lol
As for my wife she honestly isnt picky either as long as the male side isnt pushy or bossy or mean she has said yes to men that looked older than her father . She just wants to fool around is the main idea.
We do have a hard time socializing both of us but once it gets there we are ok now lol.
HOTCPL34 wrote:CANDJ23 wrote:We very much agree with you. We have about given up looking for couples, it seems to go much better with singles.
cause with hall passes the other couple will back out (i think) usually hall passes apply to just men and as for us we dont want just a man...My girl likes girls more than men!! But we have only played a few times but already have "taken one" just as with most people we have different tastes and what we think are hot is 2 different ideals! but we always enjoy it..
Sounds about like us...Although we have been pretty fortunate, I guess, to find a few couples who we both really enjoy being with. We could be just as happy with a single lady...My significant other loves the ladies as much as I do! But we seem to have a hard time finding that girl..LOL
To be honest, I am happy just to be around to see it it all..and see them enjoying themselves so much! Sure, I like to be involved, but it really isn't vital to my enjoyment of the moment!
As for the original question about taking one for the team....we have to agree with most of the rest of you..while it has happened, just to prevent hard feelings with the other couple, we try real hard not to get in that situation, and have passed on a few for that reason. This lifestyle for us is all about fun...and that just seems like a good way to open a door for a bit of drama to spoil it all.
We both like watching each other get excited so taking one for the team isn't an option because it sucks the fun out of it. We don't issue hall passes either but neither of us needs strange bad enough for this to be an issue. Just an occasional hobby for us, not really a lifestyle.
He's easy, so not really taking one for the team, she's more difficult, but has been known to throw a 'sympathy fuck' or two around....
JSTJIM72 wrote:
He's easy, so not really taking one for the team, she's more difficult, but has been known to throw a 'sympathy fuck' or two around....
When she does it though, is it obvious? I realize it won't always be perfect and sometimes either of you won't be totally vested, but you still try to enjoy it, no?
I think we all have taken one for the team when in a couples only play. It happens alot. Now if you were into hall passes totally a different game. With that said because you are new and a couple only. Sometimes you do take one for the team. I am into both girls and boys soooooo its not a big deal to me to take one for the team. Cause I win everytime either way. Not everyone is your type its only a small world of people from varied ways of life. Does not mean you should settle either. Just talk to each other about what you both feel and you will find a happy medium to have a great sexual experience everytime!!!!
Eventually you will find and know how to find what you want as the newness goes away and you will be able to tell them all apart in no time!!!
Eventually you will find and know how to find what you want as the newness goes away and you will be able to tell them all apart in no time!!!
I think that part of it may just be my perspective. I(mr) was curious tO join the lifestyle as a way to enjoy new sexual experiences. So in my mind, and truthfully, I see sex as an experience, and see more of people's sexuality vs. just looks. It may sound like a double standard, but whereas I am willing to look past some of the physical, I still enjoy the experience very much. What I dot want to see is someone just outright doing it because their partner wants to be with mine. I'm not in to the pity idea. Either way, I'm sure over time that you're correct and some of these newbie concerns will wash themselves away.
I don't understand why or how anyone could ever "take one for the team". If both of you don't find another couple attractive or compatible just don't go there. Seriously.
Now, about standards. You are not marrying this person. You are not having a long term relationship with this person. You are fucking this person. Hopefully, you are having a great time and this person is doing something new and interesting to or with you.
Then you get to go back to your real partner and say "hey, let's try this thing we did over there".
UTPoly said it best when he said "She just wants to fool around is the main idea." The idea is to try different things and new people. You still have to have some form of physical attraction, and you still have to at least remotely like the person (unless it's just a random group thing or a black room), but you aren't really looking for something long term, just something fun.
Sex should be recreational and fun. It's fucking around in the very realist terms. It's not making love, it's not getting intimate. You make love to the person you love, you get intimate with them. You fuck total strangers you just met with the goal of everyone having a good time. If you become lifelong friends GREAT! If you are not single and you go to a lifestyle event you should know 100% that you are going to be having great sex, if you don't find any playmates there you always have the playmate you brought with you.
If you need Ken and Barbie in order to get turned on, knock yourselves out. But you might want to make sure you look like Ken and Barbie before you decide that's all you will play with. If intelligence, wit, humor, attitude, ect are part of what turns you on you will find far more playmates than just looking for the latest pin-up model.
Now, about standards. You are not marrying this person. You are not having a long term relationship with this person. You are fucking this person. Hopefully, you are having a great time and this person is doing something new and interesting to or with you.
Then you get to go back to your real partner and say "hey, let's try this thing we did over there".
UTPoly said it best when he said "She just wants to fool around is the main idea." The idea is to try different things and new people. You still have to have some form of physical attraction, and you still have to at least remotely like the person (unless it's just a random group thing or a black room), but you aren't really looking for something long term, just something fun.
Sex should be recreational and fun. It's fucking around in the very realist terms. It's not making love, it's not getting intimate. You make love to the person you love, you get intimate with them. You fuck total strangers you just met with the goal of everyone having a good time. If you become lifelong friends GREAT! If you are not single and you go to a lifestyle event you should know 100% that you are going to be having great sex, if you don't find any playmates there you always have the playmate you brought with you.
If you need Ken and Barbie in order to get turned on, knock yourselves out. But you might want to make sure you look like Ken and Barbie before you decide that's all you will play with. If intelligence, wit, humor, attitude, ect are part of what turns you on you will find far more playmates than just looking for the latest pin-up model.
Here Here DARKNLADYJEDI Aka Barbi 
but yeah alot of swingers on here are becoming so picky about the physical they forget all about the sexual side.
Its a fuck just like gettin drunk and pickin up a pratical stranger in a bar pratically.
but yeah alot of swingers on here are becoming so picky about the physical they forget all about the sexual side.
Its a fuck just like gettin drunk and pickin up a pratical stranger in a bar pratically.
I the mr. completely agree with Hotforelovers. Thats keeping it real. So real some people just get their feelings hurt. As well as darknladyhedi. What you said is so real and true. With keeping what you said in mind I am sure al swinger couples should be able to get along, Greta posts you two.
Thanks
Rick and Gabrielle
Thanks
Rick and Gabrielle
UTPOLYFAMILY wrote:
Here Here DARKNLADYJEDI Aka Barbi
She's my Barbie but I damn sure ain't Ken LOL