I'm posting this to ask a pretty simple question. If you receive a message from someone on the site, unsolicited or not, and you're not interested in them in any way is it more impolite to write them and tell them you're not interested or to just ignore them??
i think most people know if you don't get back to them your not interested. folks shouldn't get to butt hurt over no response its the nature of this lifestyle.
how many threads can ask this question?
What bothers me, is when the friend request is added, then they just ignore you. I'd rather be at least removed, no need for communicae, that would explanatory enough.
Spexdex, most people don't remove the friend request because as long as it is pending another can not be sent. And yes, some people will just keep sending time after time.
There are too many variables where a Tootsie Pop is concerned. Not all Tootise Pops are created equally! The licking technique can vary considerably, not to mention tongue size. Then, of course there are voracious lickers and lackadaisical lickers which should not be confused with technique, this would be more a difference in the 'attitude' with which one approaches the Pop. The Tootsie Pop itself can offer resistance on a cold day. Then, of course, there is the great debate about what exactly "is" the center. Not gonna go there. 
If you hit reply, there is an option to send a standard "not interested" reply.
"Hello,
I took a look at your profile and found that we're just not compatible. Thanks for your interest though and I hope you find what you're looking for."
It signs your username at the end. Just hit send then and that should take care of it.
xox
Tammy
"Hello,
I took a look at your profile and found that we're just not compatible. Thanks for your interest though and I hope you find what you're looking for."
It signs your username at the end. Just hit send then and that should take care of it.
xox
Tammy
DARKNLADYJEDI wrote:
Spexdex, most people don't remove the friend request because as long as it is pending another can not be sent. And yes, some people will just keep sending time after time.
I was referring to the people that approve the friend request and then ignore you. The whole "pending" thing I understand. Will keep that in mind though, thank you.
What we have found is that most people have no idea how rude they are being. The internet is a limited form of communication and what we take for granted, someone else may take as rudeness.
Truth is, if they really are that rude, do you really want to communicate with them anyway, let alone play with them? Better that they have chosen to take themselves out of your life so you don't have too.
What we have learned in the past year is to grow a thick skin, to not let the next picture collector who wants to use your wife's pics to beat off upset you and to assume the overall good intentions of most people.
Truth is, if they really are that rude, do you really want to communicate with them anyway, let alone play with them? Better that they have chosen to take themselves out of your life so you don't have too.
What we have learned in the past year is to grow a thick skin, to not let the next picture collector who wants to use your wife's pics to beat off upset you and to assume the overall good intentions of most people.
UTAH-CPLE-2006 wrote:Thanks for the contribution.
how many threads can ask this question?
We've tried to be very specific on our profile and have changed it accordingly throughout the years just to avoid any misunderstandings or confusions. We respond to all emails (personal messages) sent to us. However, we do not feel the need to respond to a friend's request that is not accompanied by an introductory email as we know that those are just authomated forms and very impersonal... Anyone can just click a button. For those, we have added to our profile "If you don't get a response in a timely manner from us, please take is as a polite "no thanks" with no hard feelings."
We read profiles very carefully, some of them can tell so much about a couple. Therefore, we tried to make our own profile very self explanatory.
We read profiles very carefully, some of them can tell so much about a couple. Therefore, we tried to make our own profile very self explanatory.
I kind of lean towards the idea that if they contact you, you reply, and they change their minds for what ever reason, it should be a courtesy for them say so. I've always wondered what the internet would be like if we all afforded each other the courtesies and graces of the Victorian era. Letters of introduction and intent etc. You know? Truly polite shit...lol But the reality is that if someone is not interested they simply can ignore and delete. I do think if someone has you in their friends, and they're not interested it's an easy thing to remove you so if you can't see their private pics any more you will know there is no interest. There are just so many things you can do on a case by case basis besides just ignore them. If they send you 5 emails a day then yes there are some that just should be ignored..lol But IMO should be done from the start, not after exchanges of emails. The one I like is they accept the friend request and never even open the email you sent first then keep you in their list because they wanted the pics and nothing more.
I'll have to watch my list now..lol
I'll have to watch my list now..lol
you are most welcome there mr Q31
A simple reply of not interested. Have a good day would be better than non at all....Jeez are in a world that has gotten that rude!
If I send a message and they aren't interested then I prefer NO reply. It's obvious if they don't respond then they aren't interested, I don't need an email from them reminding me that they aren't interested. I can understand that some people would prefer a reply but don't know why people get all butt hurt and think it is rude to not reply. ;-)
I send messages and then I usually don't even think about it anymore. I don't keep checking back to see if they responded.
Yes if someone walked up to you and asked you a question in person, it would be rude to ignore them. However the internet is not the same thing. It takes virtually no courage or risk to message someone online and I don't believe common courtesy requires a response.
If it bothers you when people don't send a reply, I think the bigger question to ask yourself is why does that bother you so much? Why do you really care whether some stranger messages you back or not?
I send messages and then I usually don't even think about it anymore. I don't keep checking back to see if they responded.
Yes if someone walked up to you and asked you a question in person, it would be rude to ignore them. However the internet is not the same thing. It takes virtually no courage or risk to message someone online and I don't believe common courtesy requires a response.
If it bothers you when people don't send a reply, I think the bigger question to ask yourself is why does that bother you so much? Why do you really care whether some stranger messages you back or not?
My question is why bother adding someone just to ignore them?
i respond to all emails and it seems like most of time they get offended, so iam thinking that its probably best to not respond at all.
SPEXDEX wrote:
My question is why bother adding someone just to ignore them?
now thats good question, this isn't face book
PITMOMMY wrote:SPEXDEX wrote:
My question is why bother adding someone just to ignore them?
now thats good question, this isn't face book
there are some on here who act like it is facebook (sexbook)
SPEXDEX wrote:
My question is why bother adding someone just to ignore them?
First we rarely accept a friend request without an email, but, if we did accept a friend request without an email attached how are we supposed to respond? We feel the ball is now in their court. They sent a friend without an email, we approved their friend request now it is their turn to say thanks for the friend, we are looking for ........... Would you be interested?
We have no idea what their motivation is in sending a friend request. We don't feel like guessing and since they asked to see our privates and now have they can make a determination if we are what they are looking for and respond to us if they are still interested.
INVITESOME wrote:SPEXDEX wrote:First we rarely accept a friend request without an email, but, if we did accept a friend request without an email attached how are we supposed to respond? We feel the ball is now in their court. They sent a friend without an email, we approved their friend request now it is their turn to say thanks for the friend, we are looking for ........... Would you be interested? We have no idea what their motivation is in sending a friend request. We don't feel like guessing and since they asked to see our privates and now have they can make a determination if we are what they are looking for and respond to us if they are still interested.
My question is why bother adding someone just to ignore them?
I completely agree. Don't get me wrong, what I'm talking about is, say I send a request, it's approved, then I try to contact them via IM when they're on, or email, and get nothing back. I would think instead of ignorance, maybe just remove us as friends...
I'm glad this thread has gotten the legs that it has. I like seeing the variety of opinions. I guess I'll continue responding to everything since that's what I desire to happen to anything I take the time to compose and send. When I started this I was thinking that manners were a word with a static definition. I realize now that it's more dynamic that I'd originally thought.
well, it's all up for interpretation, that what makes this community so various I suppose. We haven't done this for that long, but in all the conversations, you almost always hear a different perspective for the same thing each time...
I know with us, sometimes we send friend requests, but don't always have time to chat everytime we get on. We will jump on check our mail see whose chatting and then have to jump off cuase we have kids coming and going.
ORALSENSATION885 wrote:
I know with us, sometimes we send friend requests, but don't always have time to chat everytime we get on. We will jump on check our mail see whose chatting and then have to jump off cuase we have kids coming and going.
It's understandable that life happens. A good portion of us have kids, including the lady and I. I may be snap judging, and not giving people the full benefit of the doubt. Perhaps our new arrival into the community hasn't necessarily sunk in with the values and communication between the "vanilla" world and this one. Excellent point!
We have 67 "blanket" friend requests right now, its a shame, all they had to do was read the first line in our profile to get it accepted. no email no accept. period.
We always respond, even to those to dense to realize that we've already said no thanks...
We also think others should, however, if they don't...Who cares really?
If they don't respond, its obvious that they're not interested...
What DOES get my goat, those who won't even read the email....
We also think others should, however, if they don't...Who cares really?
If they don't respond, its obvious that they're not interested...
What DOES get my goat, those who won't even read the email....
REDROCKCOUPLE wrote:Would love to get a ride going down your Way.
We have 67 "blanket" friend requests right now, its a shame, all they had to do was read the first line in our profile to get it accepted. no email no accept. period.
Please keep us in mind should you two put one together.