So we went to the m&g tonight at club 48, and it's our first real meet and greet. Realized we have no idea how to start talking to people...even the people that were on our friends we were too nervous to go talk to. It's almost as if we should wear a name tag that says we are newbs...ease help us. Lol. To those that saw us, we're sorry, and are sure we will loosen up as time goes by.
Anyone else go thru this?
Anyone else go thru this?
sometimes it takes a few times. but as you attend, you start to make alot of new friends. hang in there. 
We're normally there to introduce ourselves but was called into work, sorry we missed it, hope to meet you sexies at the next one
They do get alot easier the more you go to, its always a fun group every time you go.
Wolf & Majestic
They do get alot easier the more you go to, its always a fun group every time you go. Wolf & Majestic
Thank you all, we had a good time, appreciate the support! I'm sure that it'll work out over time.
@ Utahcpl84107, Jody was very friendly, and just as pretty in person. Give it time, it will come around!
@ Utahcpl84107, Jody was very friendly, and just as pretty in person. Give it time, it will come around!
Sorry we didn't see you there. If you spot us, come over and say "hi". Promise we won't bite...unless you want us to Honestly, the best thing we have found is to walk up and say "Hi, my name is (your name), this is (introduce your partner) and we"re (your screen name). That is usually enough to get the conversation started, especially as active as y'sll have been in the forums. Most people are too shy to introduce themselves, so they tend to hang out with people they know (no exceptions in our case).
Honestly, the best thing we have found is to walk up and say "Hi, my name is (your name), this is (introduce your partner) and we"re (your screen name). That is usually enough to get the conversation started, especially as active as y'sll have been in the forums. Most people are too shy to introduce themselves, so they tend to hang out with people they know (no exceptions in our case).UTCPL84107 wrote:
Jody really appreciated you introducing yourselves to her. We are new as well and it really does get easier. This was her second time and she really felt a lot more comfortable and looks forward to meeting more people.
Well she looked hot enough... The sweater was prolly killing her!
TIABEAR wrote:
We all dosaw you there but were not even noobs and we go thru it too, see?!? Lol!
By the way Tia, beautiful smile, camera doesn't it do it justice!
WILDONEZ2004 wrote:
Sorry we didn't see you there. If you spot us, come over and say "hi". Promise we won't bite...unless you want us to
I'll keep my eyes open! Thanks!
we found that on one of our first outings, we posted what we would be wearing that night and asked others to do the same. that night because people were "looking" for somethings specific, we found that people were quite a bit less shy and we were able to have a wonderful night!
i wasnt going to post on this but i cant stand it so here it goes. we went to 3 meet and greets over the last 5 years. dressed nice and i was i thought looking sexy. we approached at least 30 or more cpls each time. here is what we saw. people formed little groups which is fine but it was like you were intruding when you approached them. not one person came over to say hi except wershi her and her husband were very nice. one time we went to a group that were sitting in a small group maybe 3 cpls. we stood near them just standing there smiling and seeing if anyone would say hi but they looked at us but nothing. now we havent been back for several years but it seemed very clickish even the halloween party was like that. one cpl told me when i said hi. "oh were not in that lifestyle were just here to dance" but they were on the site. and i approached them alone. a single lady. its bullcrap its clickish its like high school all over again. i know i will catch hell for this but thats how i see it.
TIABEAR wrote:
We all do
why not go say hi
DNJFXR wrote:
All i can say is iam sorry for not coming up to you and saying hello, I was having to much fun. Most of the time when we see a couple setting off by themselfs, its because they are new to the lifestyle, We always like to say hello and make them feel WELOCME just like people welcome us when we came in. Here is a BIG WELCOME. Jacqueline
why not go say hi
It's totally clickish for sure ~ I've gone to several myself and get the same treatment, and here I thought it was because I was the DEVIL (THE SM) LOL . . . Glad to hear I'm not the only one that feels that way going to such events. . it's tough for sure, so I don't go anymore unless I'm going with someone that I know
We were there for the first time also and had the same experience. I guess we are a little to shy. A few people did say hi. We saw you there Jacqueline and it looked like you were having fun. Maybe we will be a little more socialble next time.
hey smileyman4u yea its a shame we dont go anymore either. alot of our friends say the same thing. i bet some of the people who seem that way at the events, would be different outside of the meet and greets.
KEN82 wrote:
We were there for the first time also and had the same experience. I guess we are a little to shy. A few people did say hi. We saw you there Jacqueline and it looked like you were having fun. Maybe we will be a little more socialble next time.
we arent shy we said hi to dozens of people everytime we were there. and they were jut polite but not engaging. and im not being to sensitive we have been in this lifestyle for over 10 years.
KEN82 wrote:Yes come up and say Hi, dont know what you guys look like so didnt see you.
We were there for the first time also and had the same experience. I guess we are a little to shy. A few people did say hi. We saw you there Jacqueline and it looked like you were having fun. Maybe we will be a little more socialble next time.
DNJFXR wrote:
All i can say is iam sorry for not coming up to you and saying hello, I was having to much fun. Most of the time when we see a couple setting off by themselfs, its because they are new to the lifestyle, We always like to say hello and make them feel WELOCME just like people welcome us when we came in. Here is a BIG WELCOME. Jacqueline
I saw you last night, great dancer and very sexy!
we dont know justmelo1949 but we think they are probably pretty good people they said hi to us when we joined the biker group. so to be clear we know not all of the people at the m & gs are not clickist
LVRSPLY wrote:
i wasnt going to post on this but i cant stand it so here it goes. we went to 3 meet and greets over the last 5 years. dressed nice and i was i thought looking sexy. we approached at least 30 or more cpls each time. here is what we saw. people formed little groups which is fine but it was like you were intruding when you approached them. not one person came over to say hi except wershi her and her husband were very nice. one time we went to a group that were sitting in a small group maybe 3 cpls. we stood near them just standing there smiling and seeing if anyone would say hi but they looked at us but nothing. now we havent been back for several years but it seemed very clickish even the halloween party was like that. one cpl told me when i said hi. "oh were not in that lifestyle were just here to dance" but they were on the site. and i approached them alone. a single lady. its bullcrap its clickish its like high school all over again. i know i will catch hell for this but thats how i see it.
There are some people who are like that. But if you're going to have a thin skin and be offended, maybe M&G's aren't for you. Personally we respect everyone, and expect the same in return. Also confidence can be a huge factor in how people respond to you. Not arrogance/cocky but confident. We are all there to have a good time, and some of us for a VERY good time
Rejection hurts, especially when you are putting so much of yourself out there, that is the risk you take when meeting new people.WILDONEZ2004 wrote:i dont know if we are thin skinned but as you can see we arent the only ones who feel this way as for rejection dont know if thats it either, its just clickish , we just would say hi if thats to cocky i dont know what else to do except not to go. on the up side we get a ton of FRs from some great looking hot couples here so its all goodLVRSPLY wrote:
i wasnt going to post on this but i cant stand it so here it goes. we went to 3 meet and greets over the last 5 years. dressed nice and i was i thought looking sexy. we approached at least 30 or more cpls each time. here is what we saw. people formed little groups which is fine but it was like you were intruding when you approached them. not one person came over to say hi except wershi her and her husband were very nice. one time we went to a group that were sitting in a small group maybe 3 cpls. we stood near them just standing there smiling and seeing if anyone would say hi but they looked at us but nothing. now we havent been back for several years but it seemed very clickish even the halloween party was like that. one cpl told me when i said hi. "oh were not in that lifestyle were just here to dance" but they were on the site. and i approached them alone. a single lady. its bullcrap its clickish its like high school all over again. i know i will catch hell for this but thats how i see it.
There are some people who are like that. But if you're going to have a thin skin and be offended, maybe M&G's aren't for you. Personally we respect everyone, and expect the same in return. Also confidence can be a huge factor in how people respond to you. Not arrogance/cocky but confident. We are all there to have a good time, and some of us for a VERY good time
It's not the rejection that bothers us so much, you dont like us, that's your loss. It's being new to the lifestyle, we don't want to be overly forward and be the "hey we are new and we want to have sex with everybody" couple, but we do also want to show interest, it's the medium we are trying to find.
M&Gs can be intimidating. Most people do gravitate towards friends sitting at the same tables. But I like to assume that since they know they are at a meet and greet, that people are going to walk up, interrupt the conversation as politely as they can, introducing themselves and attempting to make small talk and find some common ground. Hence why we have them.
In all seriousness, I am one of the shyest people IRL you will ever meet. I absolutely detest having to make the first move and going up and introducing myself to anyone. I would so much rather just find a quiet table in a corner, order a drink, and just people watch. If someone comes talk to me, GREAT. It's easier. But I force myself to do it. Why? Cuz Sitting quietly in a corner is not going to win or make friends. I'm not one of those drop dead gorgeous women oozing with sensuality and charisma that people trip over themselves to bask in my aura. I'm a middle ages red head with a twisted sense of humor. I learned a long time ago you have to get out of your own comfort level to really have fun in this lifestyle. Making an effort always pays off. And even if *I'm* not sexually attracted to someone per se, usually I find their company still enjoyable. And later down the line, I am able to introduce them to someone they are sexually compatible with. Or vice versa.
I also have a system. The more casual I'm dressed it means the less likely I want to play even tho I do want to socialize. The sluttier I'm dressed...well that means I'm on the prowl.
Meet and Greets are what YOU make of them. Make them as fun or as laid back as you want but take ownership of your experience. If there are cliques then let THEM play high school. You can rise above it and nothing screams confidence then someone determined to have a good time and acting genuinely pleased to see the people around them have a good time. You might not be the host, but do your part to be a great guest.
xox
Tammy
p.s. and don't take it personally if I actually am hiding in a corner. My brain has obviously shut down and I'm suffering from lack of witty and/or stimulating comments.
In all seriousness, I am one of the shyest people IRL you will ever meet. I absolutely detest having to make the first move and going up and introducing myself to anyone. I would so much rather just find a quiet table in a corner, order a drink, and just people watch. If someone comes talk to me, GREAT. It's easier. But I force myself to do it. Why? Cuz Sitting quietly in a corner is not going to win or make friends. I'm not one of those drop dead gorgeous women oozing with sensuality and charisma that people trip over themselves to bask in my aura. I'm a middle ages red head with a twisted sense of humor. I learned a long time ago you have to get out of your own comfort level to really have fun in this lifestyle. Making an effort always pays off. And even if *I'm* not sexually attracted to someone per se, usually I find their company still enjoyable. And later down the line, I am able to introduce them to someone they are sexually compatible with. Or vice versa.
I also have a system. The more casual I'm dressed it means the less likely I want to play even tho I do want to socialize. The sluttier I'm dressed...well that means I'm on the prowl.
Meet and Greets are what YOU make of them. Make them as fun or as laid back as you want but take ownership of your experience. If there are cliques then let THEM play high school. You can rise above it and nothing screams confidence then someone determined to have a good time and acting genuinely pleased to see the people around them have a good time. You might not be the host, but do your part to be a great guest.
xox
Tammy
p.s. and don't take it personally if I actually am hiding in a corner. My brain has obviously shut down and I'm suffering from lack of witty and/or stimulating comments.
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:
M&Gs can be intimidating. Most people do gravitate towards friends sitting at the same tables. But I like to assume that since they know they are at a meet and greet, that people are going to walk up, interrupt the conversation as politely as they can, introducing themselves and attempting to make small talk and find some common ground. Hence why we have them.
In all seriousness, I am one of the shyest people IRL you will ever meet. I absolutely detest having to make the first move and going up and introducing myself to anyone. I would so much rather just find a quiet table in a corner, order a drink, and just people watch. If someone comes talk to me, GREAT. It's easier. But I force myself to do it. Why? Cuz Sitting quietly in a corner is not going to win or make friends. I'm not one of those drop dead gorgeous women oozing with sensuality and charisma that people trip over themselves to bask in my aura. I'm a middle ages red head with a twisted sense of humor. I learned a long time ago you have to get out of your own comfort level to really have fun in this lifestyle. Making an effort always pays off. And even if *I'm* not sexually attracted to someone per se, usually I find their company still enjoyable. And later down the line, I am able to introduce them to someone they are sexually compatible with. Or vice versa.
I also have a system. The more casual I'm dressed it means the less likely I want to play even tho I do want to socialize. The sluttier I'm dressed...well that means I'm on the prowl.
Meet and Greets are what YOU make of them. Make them as fun or as laid back as you want but take ownership of your experience. If there are cliques then let THEM play high school. You can rise above it and nothing screams confidence then someone determined to have a good time and acting genuinely pleased to see the people around them have a good time. You might not be the host, but do your part to be a great guest.
xox
Tammy
p.s. and don't take it personally if I actually am hiding in a corner. My brain has obviously shut down and I'm suffering from lack of witty and/or stimulating comments.
very good way to be nice post
Thanks Tammy, great post. We will just have to put ourselves out there a little more. People watching was fun though, and sexy! Thank you all for your posts, the more we chat on here, the happier we are about who's out there!
LVRSPLY wrote:
very good way to be nice post
thank you.
SPEXDEX wrote:
Thanks Tammy, great post. We will just have to put ourselves out there a little more. People watching was fun though, and sexy! Thank you all for your posts, the more we chat on here, the happier we are about who's out there!
Great thread!
we have recieve 3 e-mails from people who have said they agree with us, they said they were there last night and no one said a word to them. i encouraged them to post their experience but maybe they dont want to be further alienated or be deemed as thin skinned or whatever.
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:
M&Gs can be intimidating. Most people do gravitate towards friends sitting at the same tables. But I like to assume that since they know they are at a meet and greet, that people are going to walk up, interrupt the conversation as politely as they can, introducing themselves and attempting to make small talk and find some common ground. Hence why we have them.
In all seriousness, I am one of the shyest people IRL you will ever meet. I absolutely detest having to make the first move and going up and introducing myself to anyone. I would so much rather just find a quiet table in a corner, order a drink, and just people watch. If someone comes talk to me, GREAT. It's easier. But I force myself to do it. Why? Cuz Sitting quietly in a corner is not going to win or make friends. I'm not one of those drop dead gorgeous women oozing with sensuality and charisma that people trip over themselves to bask in my aura. I'm a middle ages red head with a twisted sense of humor. I learned a long time ago you have to get out of your own comfort level to really have fun in this lifestyle. Making an effort always pays off. And even if *I'm* not sexually attracted to someone per se, usually I find their company still enjoyable. And later down the line, I am able to introduce them to someone they are sexually compatible with. Or vice versa.
I also have a system. The more casual I'm dressed it means the less likely I want to play even tho I do want to socialize. The sluttier I'm dressed...well that means I'm on the prowl.
Meet and Greets are what YOU make of them. Make them as fun or as laid back as you want but take ownership of your experience. If there are cliques then let THEM play high school. You can rise above it and nothing screams confidence then someone determined to have a good time and acting genuinely pleased to see the people around them have a good time. You might not be the host, but do your part to be a great guest.
xox
Tammy
p.s. and don't take it personally if I actually am hiding in a corner. My brain has obviously shut down and I'm suffering from lack of witty and/or stimulating comments.
As usual perfectly stated! There are times (like last night) that we want to socialize, but just aren't up to the effort of introducing ourselves for various reasons. Other times we will be making the rounds to each table that will have us and in general making fools (in a nice way) of ourselves by making our introductions to the clique's. If they don't want our company...their loss. As you said it is what YOU make of it.
I agree with Blueeyes as far as "m & g's are what YOU make of them". We actually attended our first M & G with Blueeyes and a friend and I agree with the whole "clickish" thing. I seen it even more prevelent at the Valentines M & G BUT I will say even though it was my first one, after about a 1/2 hour of sitting in the corner I decided, "this is dum, I'm going to just put myself out there" and I did with my hubby dragging behind lol. We also met some other "first timers" and I made it fun for them to grab onto the "train" and come meet & greet with us. We talked to almost everyone there, even just a hello and we ended up having the best night of our lives.......wink wink.........I hate clicks but they do exist, its just how it is. Some people in this lifestyle have been friends for YEARS so I get it. I just make sure that I do my part by just being "me" whether they talk to me or not. I'm not familiar with the M & G's at Habits & 48 because we live so far away but would love to attend and you will see that I will probably attempt to say hello to "most" lol
Well next time you're up in salt lake, feel free to say hello!
where did you guys go for your meet and greet?
Who?
curiousnew2010
PARTY1981 wrote:BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:
I'm not one of those drop dead gorgeous women oozing with sensuality and charisma that people trip over themselves to bask in my aura.
After the third time I tripped, I put on knee pads.
Careful, looks like you fell in something...have brown all over your nose...
PARTY1981 wrote:
After the third time I tripped, I put on knee pads.
um..while you're down there....
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:PARTY1981 wrote:
After the third time I tripped, I put on knee pads.
um..while you're down there....
If I only knew...I'd stop looking where I was going. Lol
I did say hi and smiled at the lady many times. Even stood close to you two when talking to other couples who approached me. However I love meeting new people and tend to not be clickish and love dancing with everyone on the dance floor. Its alot of fun!!! I understand the clicks and yes sometimes its hard to meet them. However they are also friends for years some of them and know each other very well. So now going and having friends makes it nice to not just stand alone most the night. I think we all have been there when new wondering what to do if you approach or wait to be approached.
I am also not saying that you did anything wrong its just alot going and alot of people to watch.
come dance anytime as that is my favorite place to be. I welcome everyone!!! (=
Also meeting the host is good too as they can also interduce you to some couples around them and that is a great start. Wershi is great at this and so is Trixxie!!! So try them again and you will see in no time you have many friends in common soon!!! (=
I am also not saying that you did anything wrong its just alot going and alot of people to watch.
come dance anytime as that is my favorite place to be. I welcome everyone!!! (=
Also meeting the host is good too as they can also interduce you to some couples around them and that is a great start. Wershi is great at this and so is Trixxie!!! So try them again and you will see in no time you have many friends in common soon!!! (=
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:PARTY1981 wrote:um..while you're down there....
After the third time I tripped, I put on knee pads.
That is funny!!!
HOTFIRELOVERS wrote:
I did say hi and smiled at the lady many times. Even stood close to you two when talking to other couples who approached me. However I love meeting new people and tend to not be clickish and love dancing with everyone on the dance floor. Its alot of fun!!! I understand the clicks and yes sometimes its hard to meet them. However they are also friends for years some of them and know each other very well. So now going and having friends makes it nice to not just stand alone most the night. I think we all have been there when new wondering what to do if you approach or wait to be approached.
I am also not saying that you did anything wrong its just alot going and alot of people to watch.
come dance anytime as that is my favorite place to be. I welcome everyone!!! (=
Also meeting the host is good too as they can also interduce you to some couples around them and that is a great start. Wershi is great at this and so is Trixxie!!! So try them again and you will see in no time you have many friends in common soon!!! (=
You do have this "come hither" smile...
get in there and juggle some fire or do some cartwheels you will get to know people pretty fast! what we are saying is you gotta be a bit outgoing to get noticed lol
I knew I should've brought the lion with me...damn 20/20 hindsight!
maybe i was out of line to speak of meet and greets that we haven't been to in over 3 years. maybe its better than it was, but still some work to do. but my feeling is this has been a good thread and some of the old timers on here seem to feel they can do better in being more available to those who are trying to connect not just sexually but socially , i do have new outlook with the positive feedback that has come out of this thread. way to go everyone.
LVRSPLY wrote:Thank you, Hope to meet you guys.
we dont know justmelo1949 but we think they are probably pretty good people they said hi to us when we joined the biker group. so to be clear we know not all of the people at the m & gs are not clickist
here is a pic of one of our bikes we do want to go riding but jo has to work tomorrow.
We've been doing this a while now and we still have a difficult time meeting people at meet n greets. We just go, walk around not knowing what to do, then go home reminded why we don't go to them very often. We do find it a little easier at the elite parties but still not good at it.
we are the same way we have been to a few and have sat by ourselves and we arent new either LOL.
Our first M&G was at Club 48 as well. We had a great time. People do tend to gravitate towards others they know. It's like that in all walks of life though. People go where they are comfortable. However, it is very intimidating to walk up to a group and inject yourself into the conversation. The more you attend, the more you become part of the group. All of the sudden they are not "cliques" anymore. Just groups of friends standing around chatting.
We were there last night! Had a lot of fun! Yes, it's always hard to meet new people, and intimidating to walk up to someone and introduce yourself. But, for me, that's part of the fun/adventure. Force yourself to get up outta that chair and say hello, even just one person! You never know if they may grow to be a great friend. And hey! If you see me at a gathering, come say hello. I always like to chat.
Are there any meet and great's in the Ogden area?
MKOREM wrote:
We were there last night! Had a lot of fun! Yes, it's always hard to meet new people, and intimidating to walk up to someone and introduce yourself. But, for me, that's part of the fun/adventure. Force yourself to get up outta that chair and say hello, even just one person! You never know if they may grow to be a great friend. And hey! If you see me at a gathering, come say hello. I always like to chat.
I didn't recognize you, but I had a bad angle to see you, but the lady was eyeing your hubby...lol
WILDNCRAZY2SUM wrote:
Are there any meet and great's in the Ogden area?
Get a hold of Trixee. She usually puts together the ones up in Ogden.
Thank you for the information - we are looking to be a little more active.
Maybe arrange to go to a meet and greet with another couple? Might help start your own click?? We are always up for double dates ?
CANDIESTOY wrote:
Maybe arrange to go to a meet and greet with another couple? Might help start your own click?? We are always up for double dates ?
Do you two ever get on the IM client here? We'd love to chat!
MENAGE wrote:
Think about it. It's called a Meet & Greet. That means that those who have been here awhile should be meeting and greeting those who are new. It's not called "Hang With Your Buddies" for a reason. You have ample opportunities to get together with your friends. Use this time to meet new people, go outside your clique and make the new people feel welcome.
great post!