I would like to ask that anyone who is expereinced or familiar with older men and younger women scenarios to share opinion and knowledge about a subject that was really non-existent in my life till now.
I have met a younger woman I have always thought of as an honorable and sincere young person whom I would not want to see hurt or compromised in any way. I have not expressed such to her and only had transactions with her place of business as usual. None the less she has given me her phone number and said that she would like to go out with me.
I know little about her and while I would like to meet to get acquainted I am not interested in turning a trick. She has already mentioned the transient visitors who come-on to her and she said that she isn't that sort of girl.
I've been with women as much as ten years younger and while there isn't the same music appreciation and the like due to generation there is still a contentment that can be pleasurable for both.
At this time I feel I am 'robbing the cradle' just to go out with her. I have also given the consideration to possible off-hand remarks from others about the same.
Even though, I would be enchanted to sit and talk with her and provide a safe and enjoyable time for going out on a simple date (less any sex).
So what would be your thoughts? I only expect to be friends; would this be misleading to her? If we have more than a couple of dates I have considered maybe it could be. Am I thinking too much about it or should I just let the future unfold as it will? Should I just not go there at all??
Help.
I have met a younger woman I have always thought of as an honorable and sincere young person whom I would not want to see hurt or compromised in any way. I have not expressed such to her and only had transactions with her place of business as usual. None the less she has given me her phone number and said that she would like to go out with me.
I know little about her and while I would like to meet to get acquainted I am not interested in turning a trick. She has already mentioned the transient visitors who come-on to her and she said that she isn't that sort of girl.
I've been with women as much as ten years younger and while there isn't the same music appreciation and the like due to generation there is still a contentment that can be pleasurable for both.
At this time I feel I am 'robbing the cradle' just to go out with her. I have also given the consideration to possible off-hand remarks from others about the same.
Even though, I would be enchanted to sit and talk with her and provide a safe and enjoyable time for going out on a simple date (less any sex).
So what would be your thoughts? I only expect to be friends; would this be misleading to her? If we have more than a couple of dates I have considered maybe it could be. Am I thinking too much about it or should I just let the future unfold as it will? Should I just not go there at all??
Help.
"only had transactions with her place of business as usual"
"I am not interested in turning a trick"
"transient visitors who come-on to her and she said that she isn't that sort of girl"
If she happens to be a stripper I would say there is a better than average chance she is looking at you as a potential sugar daddy.
Without knowing her occupation it is hard to put those comments in reference.
If she is just an ordinary shopgirl I would say she may simply be in to older men, or have a "daddy complex". Used to work with a girl who started when she was 19, tried to date pretty much every guy who was over 35, and only those who were over 35.
"I am not interested in turning a trick"
"transient visitors who come-on to her and she said that she isn't that sort of girl"
If she happens to be a stripper I would say there is a better than average chance she is looking at you as a potential sugar daddy.
Without knowing her occupation it is hard to put those comments in reference.
If she is just an ordinary shopgirl I would say she may simply be in to older men, or have a "daddy complex". Used to work with a girl who started when she was 19, tried to date pretty much every guy who was over 35, and only those who were over 35.
I hope I don't sound rude because that isn't my intent. It just sounds like you are seeking permission. Remember that friendship starts everything and if you don't feel comfortable having this go further then I would suggest keeping your friendship just the way it is. If she is someone you want a relationship with then see were things go. My aunt always told me never to date anyone I wouldn't want to marry. Which means that the heart has its own mind. I hope that makes since.
At NO point in my life have I ever had an interest in women/females who were significantly younger than I am/was.
Currently, there are VERY FEW women under 40 who I consider mature enough to have a relationship with - sexual or otherwise.
It's not as much about age as it is maturity - butt the two seem to go hand-in-hand.
And sexuality is much more a product of age/maturity than it is looks.
Currently, there are VERY FEW women under 40 who I consider mature enough to have a relationship with - sexual or otherwise.
It's not as much about age as it is maturity - butt the two seem to go hand-in-hand.
And sexuality is much more a product of age/maturity than it is looks.
I gotta stop marrying people I date. That explains everything. 
Seriously, you don't owe anyone an explanation why you find someone's company potentially enjoyable. As long as the young lady involved is on board, then don't feel obligated to get permission from the general public.
I say, go out, enjoy the company and let what ever happens, happen.
best wishes.
xox
Tammy
Seriously, you don't owe anyone an explanation why you find someone's company potentially enjoyable. As long as the young lady involved is on board, then don't feel obligated to get permission from the general public.
I say, go out, enjoy the company and let what ever happens, happen.
best wishes.
xox
Tammy
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:
I gotta stop marrying people I date. That explains everything.
Seriously, you don't owe anyone an explanation why you find someone's company potentially enjoyable. As long as the young lady involved is on board, then don't feel obligated to get permission from the general public.
I say, go out, enjoy the company and let what ever happens, happen.
best wishes.
xox
Tammy
Agreed.
Perhaps you are overthinking this a bit...there will only be one way to find out and that is simply to allow and experience whatever naturally comes...and embrace the outcome whatever that may be.
Either way, it's all good...just have fun and enjoy!
J
Just like everything else in life.....it depends on the couple! There is a 16 year difference in our marriage, he has been teased about being a cradle robber and a sugar daddy....he hired me to work for the company and 20 years later we are still together and have a wonderful relationship. Good luck!
I would say go for it, if it makes you both happy..
My husband and I are about 23 years apart and are very happy. Although we have never been asked questions about him being my "father" or "robbing the cradle".
My husband and I are about 23 years apart and are very happy. Although we have never been asked questions about him being my "father" or "robbing the cradle".
My thoughts are along the lines of Blueeyesinutah, Thoughtgarden and T4real69, and so on. Been there, done that ..years have past and we are still solid friends. Don't mislead , talk openly, have fun.. PEACE~
Chemestry is everything. If you are completely honest with her and her with you and the chemestry is there, For Gods Sake Go For It. Just be honest about the age difference.
My first wife was 16 years older and we took some ribbing from friends about it. When she passed my family told me that`s what I get for being with someone so much older then myself. Fuck them, it`s my life and I will live it how I want to. Family loves the fact my wife now is 6 years younger then myself, but I refuse to have a very close relationship to family after they tried to kick me while I was down.
If you both want the same thing then go for it, but be honest with each other the entire journey. And yes, you are sure to get some people say shit in your ear. If you`re not able to handle it then don`t go there.
If you both want the same thing then go for it, but be honest with each other the entire journey. And yes, you are sure to get some people say shit in your ear. If you`re not able to handle it then don`t go there.
I thank you all for your input along the lines of thought I have had, just wanted to see if there would be anything I may have overlooked or not considered.
I think perhaps the ridicule from co-workers or some unknown gawkers in public when we are out which could be the most damaging if at all. After that would be considerations from her family.
In any event I will be kind and honest. I do not intend to do anything to spoil her good time no matter what level.
I do expect rejection is a strong possibility for whatever reason and the best I hope for is to be a friend.
I can't help but feel protective of her as a young girl since I'm old enough to be her father but at the same time I appreciate her candor and interest.
We will meet for a movie tomorrow morning.
Thanks again.
I think perhaps the ridicule from co-workers or some unknown gawkers in public when we are out which could be the most damaging if at all. After that would be considerations from her family.
In any event I will be kind and honest. I do not intend to do anything to spoil her good time no matter what level.
I do expect rejection is a strong possibility for whatever reason and the best I hope for is to be a friend.
I can't help but feel protective of her as a young girl since I'm old enough to be her father but at the same time I appreciate her candor and interest.
We will meet for a movie tomorrow morning.
Thanks again.
DO NOT GO WITH FATHER MENTALITY.
Just be yourself, a normal man.
Have fun!!!
xox
Tammy
Just be yourself, a normal man.
Have fun!!!
xox
Tammy
Gotcha Tammy, thanks.
The date was simple, talking about typical things and the movie was funny. When we said goodbye she gave me a hug and said we should do it again sometime. I may sound like a simpleton but I was quite charmed and not too expressly thankful.
Thanks for all your support guys.
Thanks for all your support guys.
HOTCPL34 wrote:
My wife is over 13 years younger then I am, we have now been married over 18 years and still have a better marriage then most of the people that that thought she was too young.
that's awesome. my parents were 11 years apart and had a great marriage. (yes i said WAS. no they never divorced. it was a different circumstance)
Hey man, you don't need our approval. I would say from being 33 and having dated a girl 9 years younger that it is okay as long as you guys talk and are on teh same page. If you go out and have a drink or you have dinner and hang out and then figure out what it is for real, then you are okay.
Go out and have fun see if there is a friendship...For me we had a great thing but the timing was just off for both of us. It was a hard thing for both of us to let go at the time but sometimes other circumstances can get in the way (in our case, i was already on the next stage of life and she wasn't sure what she wanted to do for school next for her masters and maybe moving away for it). . .
but honestly those 8 months were an amazing time for us...i never regretted it and would suggest if you guys have a strong bond and you guys can laugh and have serious discussions and just be happy around each other then it can work.
i do have to agree with the second post on here that pointed out some of the stuff that you said it kind of makes it like she is a stripper (lol...don't be offended). . . so if that is the case you are her suger daddy . . .but you can figure that out within a few minutes of going out u know?
Late
Jay
Go out and have fun see if there is a friendship...For me we had a great thing but the timing was just off for both of us. It was a hard thing for both of us to let go at the time but sometimes other circumstances can get in the way (in our case, i was already on the next stage of life and she wasn't sure what she wanted to do for school next for her masters and maybe moving away for it). . .
but honestly those 8 months were an amazing time for us...i never regretted it and would suggest if you guys have a strong bond and you guys can laugh and have serious discussions and just be happy around each other then it can work.
i do have to agree with the second post on here that pointed out some of the stuff that you said it kind of makes it like she is a stripper (lol...don't be offended). . . so if that is the case you are her suger daddy . . .but you can figure that out within a few minutes of going out u know?
Late
Jay
Those of us in the Lifestyle sometimes suffer from terminal "Swingervision" and can't see the vanilla world.
There's NO reason why you can't have a friend/relationship outside the Lifestyle.
IF AND WHEN it becomes appropriate to tell her - you'll know the time is right.
There's NO reason why you can't have a friend/relationship outside the Lifestyle.
IF AND WHEN it becomes appropriate to tell her - you'll know the time is right.
Thanks for input and encouragement, much appreciated.
We went out again today and again the encouragement comes from her to meet again.
I find I really like being in her company as I guess it is true for her. Just really comfortable and there is no awkward feeling which I cannot say is easy to achieve in a new dating situation.
I suddenly have a lot of red marks from pinching myself.
We went out again today and again the encouragement comes from her to meet again.
I find I really like being in her company as I guess it is true for her. Just really comfortable and there is no awkward feeling which I cannot say is easy to achieve in a new dating situation.
I suddenly have a lot of red marks from pinching myself.
DESERTSTONE wrote:
Thanks for input and encouragement, much appreciated.
We went out again today and again the encouragement comes from her to meet again.
I find I really like being in her company as I guess it is true for her. Just really comfortable and there is no awkward feeling which I cannot say is easy to achieve in a new dating situation.
I suddenly have a lot of red marks from pinching myself.
~happy dance~
AWESOME!
xox
Tammy
"Go for it if "YOU WANT and FEELS Right !"
I know just what you are going through and been there done that and will tell you way it is on dating someone a lot younger. Well, "Trust Me," it works !"
First my wife now of 12 years is 39 and myself 61 years young, and we are still going strong. We met on line while myself in Nigeria working on an offshore platform, while she was going through a divorce. Her "X",is a 3 time known fellon,"Thief, duggie to the max. child beater, Dead Beat Dad. Nevertheless, after she was divorced and remind you! "We," had never met before just talked alot on the net. She would write or type, telling me what all she was going through, her kids, 2 boys at the time, horses, and life in general. Therefore, that being said, we did meet, came up to Wyoming where I as a young man in the 70's came to after Nam, for vacation just th two of us and just look around. However, she loved Wy. and Utah as much as I did. We enjoyed one another's company, and just had a great time of it showing her around as I, myself, hadn't been back since 82 when our company drilled and completed the oil well in the Great Salt Lake.
Yes, it was hard at times, but you know all said and done. We wouldn't change it for the world as we both love it up here, still very much in love, and at 50 years of age things happened. We got a son that we dearly love, got a great family, and both of us own our own businesses. So it works and, "Yes," one might get some strange looks, and people will talk, but it is up to the person or persons to make it happen. To my own way of thinking, my wife and I made it, and we wouldn't change a thing. It just made us both stronger and well adjusted to one another closer and with a whole lot of love for US and our own personal lives and family.
I know just what you are going through and been there done that and will tell you way it is on dating someone a lot younger. Well, "Trust Me," it works !"
First my wife now of 12 years is 39 and myself 61 years young, and we are still going strong. We met on line while myself in Nigeria working on an offshore platform, while she was going through a divorce. Her "X",is a 3 time known fellon,"Thief, duggie to the max. child beater, Dead Beat Dad. Nevertheless, after she was divorced and remind you! "We," had never met before just talked alot on the net. She would write or type, telling me what all she was going through, her kids, 2 boys at the time, horses, and life in general. Therefore, that being said, we did meet, came up to Wyoming where I as a young man in the 70's came to after Nam, for vacation just th two of us and just look around. However, she loved Wy. and Utah as much as I did. We enjoyed one another's company, and just had a great time of it showing her around as I, myself, hadn't been back since 82 when our company drilled and completed the oil well in the Great Salt Lake.
Yes, it was hard at times, but you know all said and done. We wouldn't change it for the world as we both love it up here, still very much in love, and at 50 years of age things happened. We got a son that we dearly love, got a great family, and both of us own our own businesses. So it works and, "Yes," one might get some strange looks, and people will talk, but it is up to the person or persons to make it happen. To my own way of thinking, my wife and I made it, and we wouldn't change a thing. It just made us both stronger and well adjusted to one another closer and with a whole lot of love for US and our own personal lives and family.
I honestly can't date men my age their immature and often times don't share what's really going on or what they want. Having dated men 30 years my senior I can tell you the only issues that came from age were from close mindedness. I hated going on dates with older men who thought that me asking them out couldn't end with anything more then that date because of their very incorrect misconceptions. I don't want a daddy I want an equal she may be the same.