I have a NSA thing with a guy and I had loads of fun with him and he really turned me on and was just the right amount of kinky for me. I have just found that he isn't giving me what I want. Now I am NOT looking for a relationship I dont want him to be my boyfriend and I dont even want to only sleep with him. However I would like it if my emails and text got answers at all. He seems he only contacts me when HE wants. Thats not ok with me.
The thing is I have never really done the whole nsa thing before so is it unreasonable for me to expect a reply? I dont think it is but I have no idea.
Thoughts?
The thing is I have never really done the whole nsa thing before so is it unreasonable for me to expect a reply? I dont think it is but I have no idea.
Thoughts?
Its not unreasonable to expect some response, however, i have been in a few NSA relationships and the ones that started to get out of control were the ones where friendship and interaction became a larger part than the sex which led to feelings, which ultimately led to the end of a beautiful thing. i do agree there needs to be some communication and it should be a 2 way street, but all things in moderation.
It is NEVER unreasonable to expect common courtesy and manners from ANYONE - single, male, or otherwise.
And the NSA stipulation does NOT give him (or anyone else) a free pass to be a jerk and/or treat you like crap.
It appears he views you as being there strictly for HIS pleasure and by HIS schedule - what you want be damned.
Are you sure you can't do better?
And the NSA stipulation does NOT give him (or anyone else) a free pass to be a jerk and/or treat you like crap.
It appears he views you as being there strictly for HIS pleasure and by HIS schedule - what you want be damned.
Are you sure you can't do better?
I think honestyis the best policy
He is single I am sure about that. He is a good guy and for the most part he is very respectful and treated me well. He made me feel sexy and was great in bed. I think you are right though I think I can find all that with someone else and a guy that replys to my messages. Even if its just to say "sorry I am working late shifts/super busy right now; talk later"
It is good for everyone to be kind and polite. But part of NSA is No, meaning not any. You can have or add strings. You can change your mind and request anything you want. It's all fine and up to you.
I think you got what you wanted at the time from the "relationship". Now it's not what you want, so forget about it.
Personally, I'd answer all of your contacts!
I think you got what you wanted at the time from the "relationship". Now it's not what you want, so forget about it.
Personally, I'd answer all of your contacts!
Sorry but what does NSA mean?
I think it's just plain rude to not answer someone. It's a power struggle for him. He's choosing not to answer because he feels you aren't owed basic common courtesy. And while it's frustrating that it's coming from a decent piece of ass, this particular character flaw is limited to just single males. I know a people like that. My teenage son is one of them, but that's a whole nuther story.
Now that being said, he should have the balls to tell you what his issue is...whether he can't text back cuz he's working, driving, busy, or hell, if he feels you are smothering him. (not saying you are, but just giving an example of what his issue *might* be) I personally get extremely pissed off when I get constant unwelcomed contact via email, texts, IMs, etc. And trust me, they will hear about it. But even if I'm busy I take the time to respond and either tell them I will get back to them later or that I cant' deal with "this" right now.
I suggest you contact him and be up front and tell him. If he changes his behavior, then great. If not...well then you know.
Now that being said, he should have the balls to tell you what his issue is...whether he can't text back cuz he's working, driving, busy, or hell, if he feels you are smothering him. (not saying you are, but just giving an example of what his issue *might* be) I personally get extremely pissed off when I get constant unwelcomed contact via email, texts, IMs, etc. And trust me, they will hear about it. But even if I'm busy I take the time to respond and either tell them I will get back to them later or that I cant' deal with "this" right now.
I suggest you contact him and be up front and tell him. If he changes his behavior, then great. If not...well then you know.
well first of all my feelings being a pervie and all. he wants sex. great you want sex super. nsa meens nsa but as you become more involved there is strings cant help it. if he isnt replying then the nsa has been jepodized in his feelings . further more now he will read all this hog wash and then think you have betrayed him again . im no expert or anything vbut i do have 2 ladys living with me and we are a family sorta speak and it can be hard to please both but managable .dont give up on him if you like the sex but talk to him . dont flood him with mail but send him a leter tell him how you realy feel and he will reply . oneway or the other Ron
I had a FWB for almost 5 years. It was always understood it was her way or no way! As long as there is a clear set understanding of whats expected it can be amazing. Best make sure you both get on the same page. Right now you don't seem to be in the same book.
Geez, I need to get my acronym dictionary out! I learned what NSA was, but then someone else uses "FWB?" Sorry for the profanity, but all I can come up with on that one is "Fucking White Bitch?" 
Anyway as far as the originating post ... my approach would be to not worry about it. When he contacts you again (Mr horny kicks in), be up front "Oh, yeah, right buddy, I try to get-hold of you and I get a big NO-REPLY ya big jerk" with lots of those little smiley faces thrown in so that he knows that maybe you're pretty much kidding? Yet kinda making a point?? Or maybe that's not upfront after all!
If you continue to have problems be sure to send all your superfun, superhot single guys my way where I will deal with them in an appropriate manner!
Anyway as far as the originating post ... my approach would be to not worry about it. When he contacts you again (Mr horny kicks in), be up front "Oh, yeah, right buddy, I try to get-hold of you and I get a big NO-REPLY ya big jerk" with lots of those little smiley faces thrown in so that he knows that maybe you're pretty much kidding? Yet kinda making a point?? Or maybe that's not upfront after all!
If you continue to have problems be sure to send all your superfun, superhot single guys my way where I will deal with them in an appropriate manner!
This is a comunication / definition issue.
If there are NSA, there should be no expectations after the door closes behind him or her on the way out. For him not respond is not rude, it's him holding up to his end of the deal of no strings.What if he had expictations after you did not expect. Would you think he had the right to demand them? If you you wanted a F buddy or frinds with benifits, that should have been the deal up front. No strings means sex only, then your done. If thats not what you want from a sex partner, then it's not a NSA situation. Be more clear to protect your self / feelings. He may see no stings as just that and wondering why the expectations.
If there are NSA, there should be no expectations after the door closes behind him or her on the way out. For him not respond is not rude, it's him holding up to his end of the deal of no strings.What if he had expictations after you did not expect. Would you think he had the right to demand them? If you you wanted a F buddy or frinds with benifits, that should have been the deal up front. No strings means sex only, then your done. If thats not what you want from a sex partner, then it's not a NSA situation. Be more clear to protect your self / feelings. He may see no stings as just that and wondering why the expectations.
[quote=ICONRED]I haven't read all of the replies on this thread, so I'll apologize if I'm end up repeating something that's already been mentioned... which is ultimately inevitable... but here goes nothing.
Love, it's a NO STRINGS ATTACHED relationship and most men would kick someone's ass SO hard to have one of those that the poor mother-fuckers would actually have the unique experience of witnessing the actual curvature of the earth.
That being said, I'll make simple... If you're allowing some lucky asshole to stick his fucking Naughty-Wurm inside your beloved Moose-Knuckle and he doesn't have to wine and dine you or lie to you and say he loves you to do it, then he's definitely more handicapped than Stephen Hawking sans genius-intellect if he can't return a call.
That's like shitting in a bowl of brownies, unless you're into that sorta thing.
Sorry... this guy just seems too fucking stupid to be allowed your attention.
Move on, hon. Find another playmate.
All our best,
Love, it's a NO STRINGS ATTACHED relationship and most men would kick someone's ass SO hard to have one of those that the poor mother-fuckers would actually have the unique experience of witnessing the actual curvature of the earth.
That being said, I'll make simple... If you're allowing some lucky asshole to stick his fucking Naughty-Wurm inside your beloved Moose-Knuckle and he doesn't have to wine and dine you or lie to you and say he loves you to do it, then he's definitely more handicapped than Stephen Hawking sans genius-intellect if he can't return a call.
That's like shitting in a bowl of brownies, unless you're into that sorta thing.
Sorry... this guy just seems too fucking stupid to be allowed your attention.
Move on, hon. Find another playmate.
All our best,
Irocred: Thank you for the laugh. I am so going to call my girls parts my moose-knuckle from now on.
DRILLNLISSA wrote:
well first of all my feelings being a pervie and all. he wants sex. great you want sex super. nsa meens nsa but as you become more involved there is strings cant help it. if he isnt replying then the nsa has been jepodized in his feelings . further more now he will read all this hog wash and then think you have betrayed him again . im no expert or anything vbut i do have 2 ladys living with me and we are a family sorta speak and it can be hard to please both but managable .dont give up on him if you like the sex but talk to him . dont flood him with mail but send him a leter tell him how you realy feel and he will reply . oneway or the other Ron
I am not sure I understand what you are saying but I think you are saying i am betraying him again? I dont understand this as I have never betrayed him and the point of nsa is that there wont be those sorts of feelings.
What makes you think he is on this site?
I have sent him one text since the last time we met up a little over a week ago. I have sent him 2 emails and then just today I let him know how I felt about his non-reply.
Its really not a big deal I was wondering if I was being unreasonable about the whole thing.
Courtesy and respect are NOT strings...they are an intregal part of being a decent human being...whatever gender you are. You can be hot and great in bed and still be an ass-hole. Sounds like you're being used by a jerk. That's my humble opinion.
Well Said ICONRED! But at the end of the day It is all up to you and what you want! What your standards are and what you will accept from someone!
In any relationship we need to set our standards and live by that or Shit happens!!!!!
In any relationship we need to set our standards and live by that or Shit happens!!!!!
SLOWRIDER wrote:
Courtesy and respect are NOT strings...they are an intregal part of being a decent human being...whatever gender you are. You can be hot and great in bed and still be an ass-hole. Sounds like you're being used by a jerk. That's my humble opinion.
*LIKE*
FUN4MWF wrote:
Geez, I need to get my acronym dictionary out! I learned what NSA was, but then someone else uses "FWB?" Sorry for the profanity, but all I can come up with on that one is "Fucking White Bitch?"
roflmao...now that was funny....FWB means Friends With Benefits
NAUGHTYGIRL101 wrote:FUN4MWF wrote:
Geez, I need to get my acronym dictionary out! I learned what NSA was, but then someone else uses "FWB?" Sorry for the profanity, but all I can come up with on that one is "Fucking White Bitch?"
roflmao...now that was funny....FWB means Friends With Benefits
Oh, oops, "Friends With Benefits" sounds a bit more on par!
I think that's probably even a term in common use with the vanilla crowd -- sometimes I'm just not "with it!" Thanks for straightenint me out Naughty!ALINEEDISU: I can relate to your concerns. It's happened to me, with the guy just removing me from his friends list and upon me questioning his reasons for this, not even being given the courtesy of a response. A little frustrating indeed, but if I've discovered one thing about the lifestyle, not everyone enters it with the desire or intent to make friends and keep them, and that is everyone's prerogative. Would I (and you I am sure) have chosen differently? Sure! But it is what it is. I am (and you are) a better person and we have maybe remembered a thing or two about life and opened ourselves to new and much more fulfilling and exciting possibilities ... Smile
From Him
It's a matter of respect, he should be grateful for even having you. Probably why not many single women around, you should expect nothing less than what you give. If he is in the lifestyle have him read about how women are always in charge here. Think how much more fun we all would have if that were the case. Humm, maybe we do need a female president.
It's a matter of respect, he should be grateful for even having you. Probably why not many single women around, you should expect nothing less than what you give. If he is in the lifestyle have him read about how women are always in charge here. Think how much more fun we all would have if that were the case. Humm, maybe we do need a female president.
I have been in a few NSA's in the past. Courtesy and respect should still be there. obviously ur not complete strangers or else u wouldn't know whether to trust the guy, or feel comfortable with him.. so.. ur obviously friends at the least. Well call me old fashion, but last time i checked, friends give each other the respect and courtesy as friends to at least return txts or calls. and NSA's should go both ways.. not just one. She knew she could contact me when she wanted some, and I could do the same. and If one of us wasn't available, we'd at least let the other know. Sounds like hes just using you when HE wants to.
DROP HIM SERIOUSLY!! What ur wanting is every male's dream so u should have no problem finding another NSA. I would recommend you stress the importance of respect and courtesy to ur next candidate and making sure he's very much agreed to that. good luck!
DROP HIM SERIOUSLY!! What ur wanting is every male's dream so u should have no problem finding another NSA. I would recommend you stress the importance of respect and courtesy to ur next candidate and making sure he's very much agreed to that. good luck!
This goes both ways folks. Whether you wish to believe it or not there are a lot of single women and especially couples that do the same thing to single men. My advice to you is to forget it and move on. He most likely is not interested in a relationship or NSA does not mean the same to you both.
I might be violating the terms of my parole by posting. But if you both talked about it being a one time NSA thing or made sure you expressed the NSA part before you met him then I think we would almost need to read the texts and 2 emails before we could even have a chance at responding correctly to this situation. I think a no reply is a way for him to say no thanks and maybe he thinks to uphold his end of the original bargain. I mean if you two both thought you were "the ones" for each other you would have both wanted to break the NSA rule. I think he has spoken to you by his non replies.
Fwb and Nsa are two different hook ups. everyone should know that
Thats the difference. It should be the standard
Communication is respectful and courteous and any normal person would & should respond. Patience is also needed because there are times when we all delay replies for whatever reasons due to certain circumstances.
Oh no it was not a one time thing. There was a understanding that we would be meeting again. The basic thing my text said was "i had a great time before when do you think we can have fun again sexy?"
When simple communication does become difficult or a problem then it's time to move on and find someone who is not communication challenged.
Strange that your Profile doesn't mention Single Men.
I believe he should give u some kind of response, women do it to but that doesn't mean it's OK.
My question to u is if it's JUST Friend With Benefits why does it bother u so much?.
Sure ur not looking for something more and he doesn't?
Good Luck.
I believe he should give u some kind of response, women do it to but that doesn't mean it's OK.
My question to u is if it's JUST Friend With Benefits why does it bother u so much?.
Sure ur not looking for something more and he doesn't?
Good Luck.
I think it is harder for women to say things without sugar coating it. It seems like we always leave a grey area about what we want and expect and that leaves us feeling out of control of the situation. I am speaking from experience, there are times when I have felt exactly the way you do and didn't know how to change it. Although it took some time I took control and I don't leave any room for them to misinterpret what I want, yes NSA can mean different things to different people, but I have made myself available when I feel like it. You have to what is right for you and then communicate that to him and everyone else.