Mrs LPA69 and I have been talking about hosting a "Can't Say No" party at our home in Lindon UT. The idea comes from when we were investigating some foreign swingers clubs. There was one in South Africa that advertised a "can't Say No" room. If you went into the room, you could not turn down a request from someone else in the room, unless their request would be a health hazard (eg bareback intercourse).
The idea intrigued us both (okay, me more than her, but she likes the idea). If we host such a party, it would be a little different from the South Africa swingers club. We suggest that it work this way.
1. We would have 10 couples maximum come to our house. We would advertise the party to everyone on Swingular, because it would be fun to have some couples we didn't know in attendance, just to make it more exciting.
2. We'd take a little time to drink, snack, and mingle while we were getting to know everyone else a little. During the mingle time, the two in each couple could talk about who they were interested in or not.
3. The women would all get together in private, and discuss amongst themselves who they were each willing to play with, what they were willing to do, etc.
4. Everyone would get back together, and for the next hour or so, each woman would tell her man what to do with whom, and the man could not say no.
5. After a break, the men would all get together in private, and discuss who they were each willing to play with, what they were willing to do, etc.
6. Everyone would get back together, and for the next hour or so, each man would tell his woman what to do with whom, and the woman could not say no.
That's all the rules. The party could be as wild as those in attendance wanted to make it. Obviously it would be critical for each couple to state clearly their feelings to their own partner during Step 2, because after that, you can't say no to your own partner's instructions (but you're not obligated to do something that another person asks you to do). You'd have to really trust your own partner, wouldn't you?
We'd like to know how many of you couples would be interested in that kind of party. The earliest we could host it would be New Year's Eve (or maybe in January), but we'd like to get an idea now as to the interest level.
L&P
The idea intrigued us both (okay, me more than her, but she likes the idea). If we host such a party, it would be a little different from the South Africa swingers club. We suggest that it work this way.
1. We would have 10 couples maximum come to our house. We would advertise the party to everyone on Swingular, because it would be fun to have some couples we didn't know in attendance, just to make it more exciting.
2. We'd take a little time to drink, snack, and mingle while we were getting to know everyone else a little. During the mingle time, the two in each couple could talk about who they were interested in or not.
3. The women would all get together in private, and discuss amongst themselves who they were each willing to play with, what they were willing to do, etc.
4. Everyone would get back together, and for the next hour or so, each woman would tell her man what to do with whom, and the man could not say no.
5. After a break, the men would all get together in private, and discuss who they were each willing to play with, what they were willing to do, etc.
6. Everyone would get back together, and for the next hour or so, each man would tell his woman what to do with whom, and the woman could not say no.
That's all the rules. The party could be as wild as those in attendance wanted to make it. Obviously it would be critical for each couple to state clearly their feelings to their own partner during Step 2, because after that, you can't say no to your own partner's instructions (but you're not obligated to do something that another person asks you to do). You'd have to really trust your own partner, wouldn't you?
We'd like to know how many of you couples would be interested in that kind of party. The earliest we could host it would be New Year's Eve (or maybe in January), but we'd like to get an idea now as to the interest level.
L&P
Can "we" just say no now and end the misery? I'm just saying......
Mav
Mav
I think something like this might work in a group of friends who all know and want to fuck each other but in a group of strangers you're going to end up with someone's feelings hurt because no one wants to play with this person or that person...too much potential for drama....
I'd prefer more of an Eyes Wide Shut party...
MAVENX wrote:
I'd prefer more of an Eyes Wide Shut party...
Explain??
It certainly would work. Of course this type is not for everyone but It would be fun for those who are down with the idea.
All participants show up in masks and robes. What happens inside the host facility with masks and robes STAYS within the facility. Anonymity is the key. You never know who you really have fucked. You can guess, but you really never know.
All the other rules of swinging are still in force. No means no and safety first.
All the other rules of swinging are still in force. No means no and safety first.
we are in!
I may be interested in somethin along these lines at a party. 2TOHAVEFUNWITHU has a good point though
MAVENX wrote:
All participants show up in masks and robes. What happens inside the host facility with masks and robes STAYS within the facility. Anonymity is the key. You never know who you really have fucked. You can guess, but you really never know.
All the other rules of swinging are still in force. No means no and safety first.
Now I like that idea...
2TOHAVEFUNWITHU wrote:
We would do it sounds like fun the only problem i see is knowing which people are attending to make sure there is a attraction so no one ends up feeling awkward.
That's kinda the point I was trying to make...I don't want someone telling me who I have to fuck and that I can't say no...as long as everyone had the attraction and was ok with EVERYONE there then I would be ok with it
love the idea, i already have my mask
Why not just have a black room?
Cover all windows solid, leave the lights off, hang two curtains a few feet apart coming in.
You won't know who it is you are touching unless they speak.
Never had the guts to go in one of these at major parties, but at a small house party I think it would be fun.
Cover all windows solid, leave the lights off, hang two curtains a few feet apart coming in.
You won't know who it is you are touching unless they speak.
Never had the guts to go in one of these at major parties, but at a small house party I think it would be fun.
DARKNLADYJEDI wrote:
Why not just have a black room? Cover all windows solid, leave the lights off, hang two curtains a few feet apart coming in. You won't know who it is you are touching unless they speak. Never had the guts to go in one of these at major parties, but at a small house party I think it would be fun.
Now, if only someone would get the ball rolling to do one locally - wink, wink.
um... i think i'd hafta keep my robe on at the eyes wide shut party. my tattoos tend to give me away.
we are down masks or not
Wish we lived closer, what a great idea!
Did an Eyes Wide Shut thing, didn't turn out as planned...
The Can't Say No thing seems interesting to me (male), as the partners know what we like....
The Can't Say No thing seems interesting to me (male), as the partners know what we like....
Sounds fun.. Why are all the good parties in Utah??? - Just sayin...
The Can't Say No thing does sound like an interesting idea to me (female) as well. It gives each partner a chance to have a little control while the other gets to be a bit submissive. I would think it also helps break that shyness barrier that some of us tend to have. Besides, chances are that you and your partner will discuss who likes who and who they don't like. Then you can sit back and enjoy seeing them pleasured or giving pleasure....which a lot of us derive pleasure from watching our partner.
Shy
Shy
I've also wondered what so many on Swingular are from Utah. Is there someting in the water there or is it just because Swingular HQ is there? Just Asking ..
GENERAL wrote:
I've also wondered what so many on Swingular are from Utah. Is there someting in the water there or is it just because Swingular HQ is there? Just Asking ..
HQ isn't here...it actually started in Florida and they have more members, then Admin lived here then Cali and now in Vegas...he has said that us Utahn's are just more vocal lol
The "cant say no thing" sounds good but would be very difficult to pull off cause each couple has different requirements in whom they choose to party with at any level and rightfully so. I dont ever want to be told but always prefer the right to choose and believe me im very choosy.
NAUGHTYGIRL101 wrote:GENERAL wrote:HQ isn't here...it actually started in Florida and they have more members, then Admin lived here then Cali and now in Vegas...he has said that us Utahn's are just more vocal lol
I've also wondered what so many on Swingular are from Utah. Is there someting in the water there or is it just because Swingular HQ is there? Just Asking ..
Butt NOT any hornier.
I think the idea is great! It's an agreed upon submissive session. You gottta get your freak on for such a show. I am assuming that when ordered to perform, the audience is watching..!?!?!
Even in a "can't say no" situation, there has to be some sort of opt out option.
Just like in S&M and Bondage, there's always (from my understanding at least) a "code" word that stops all action.
I totally understand how erotic a "can't say no" could be, but without an out - it could turn VERY ugly for someone.
Just like in S&M and Bondage, there's always (from my understanding at least) a "code" word that stops all action.
I totally understand how erotic a "can't say no" could be, but without an out - it could turn VERY ugly for someone.
How about this for a cant say no party. invite over 8 to 10 couples. everyone mixes around as usual having snacks and aseveral drings to loosten up all the men except the Hoast go into a predesignated room. the room is dimly lit with several candles. Than the hoast puts numbers in a hat one for each lady. Than every lady picks a number this is not the order from 1 to 10. The hoast than blindfolds the person holding #1 and leads her by the hand to the private room. The men form a circle around the lady close but not too close. The Hoast puts some water based stroking lotion thats what my wife and i call it(EROS BRAND is realy great for this because it is water based and comletely safe and very slick) in her hand and she has to feel every cock in the room. Cant touch any other parts of the mans body. If she comes upon a cock she really likes than she is allowed to go to another room he hands are tied and she is laid bach on the edge of the bed or lounge chair and the man can only fuck her with his cock and cannot touch anything else and only for 5 minutes. No peeking at all but just straight fucking. The man that she piched cannot reenter the room till 2 other women have gone through, this prevents the same guy being picked all the time ... just saying ... If the husband is in the room and he is not piched he has the option of going to the other room just to watch his wife get fucked. Getting fucked and not knowing who it is can be a real turn on and everyone gets a turn no matter what.
Deb&Lang (BI-COUPLE) does an eyes wide shut party. i believe its an annual thing. (could be wrong on the frequency). If I remember right, there's one coming up soon. At least I'm assuming so since I've recently had a few people ask me if I'm going.
If Karl is cooking, count me in. 
Actually not a bad idea. Saw this once on 20/20, but there is a group that has Dinners in the Dark, the servers where see in the dark goggles, and serve dinner to 5 or 6 couples in the dark (not dim.. but can't see you own hand in front of your face dark). These are vanilla couples, and still some interesting stuff happens under the tables.
Watch the movie "Group Sex" Dinner in the Dark does NOT work very well. hahahahaha. At least it didn't in the movie. The server kept being a peeping weirdo and people kept knocking all the stuff over.
Hope I'm not stepping on your toes LAP69. If so, let me (hubby) know and I'll delete this and post it as another forum topic. But your post motivated me to ask what folks think of a party we're contemplating hosting.
The idea is a poker tourney. Each guest brings a "prize" for one male and one female (to facilitate same-sex play if desired). The prize can be an object (ie., a toy), or a "service." ;o) The guests will then anonymously rank each prize. There would be low chip stacks so the whole night is not spent on cards. As peeps are eliminated, they are awarded a corresponding prize, with the top gal and top guy getting the highest-ranked prizes. The extra prizes then go into a Christmas party-style gift swap/steal type of give-away. We would strongly encourage that all prizes be "used" that very night, and folks can trade their prizes if they want. As always, no would mean no. The hosts will provide protection to all.
We're in Boise, so most folks on here might not travel here for that, but I'm curious to find out who would be interested in that format?
The idea is a poker tourney. Each guest brings a "prize" for one male and one female (to facilitate same-sex play if desired). The prize can be an object (ie., a toy), or a "service." ;o) The guests will then anonymously rank each prize. There would be low chip stacks so the whole night is not spent on cards. As peeps are eliminated, they are awarded a corresponding prize, with the top gal and top guy getting the highest-ranked prizes. The extra prizes then go into a Christmas party-style gift swap/steal type of give-away. We would strongly encourage that all prizes be "used" that very night, and folks can trade their prizes if they want. As always, no would mean no. The hosts will provide protection to all.
We're in Boise, so most folks on here might not travel here for that, but I'm curious to find out who would be interested in that format?
CARRIERMAN wrote:DARKNLADYJEDI wrote:Now, if only someone would get the ball rolling to do one locally - wink, wink.
Why not just have a black room? Cover all windows solid, leave the lights off, hang two curtains a few feet apart coming in. You won't know who it is you are touching unless they speak. Never had the guts to go in one of these at major parties, but at a small house party I think it would be fun.
Sounds like "SPLASH' event in Orlando.....
Sounds fun, count us in.
We like it! Edgy, but safe. There could be a lot of variations. And definitely more edgy with strangers. Not so sure about the "negotiations" among the genders, or having the spouse pick the activity. Might be better to have a grocery list of things that can be done to you, and let people demand what they want from it?
All the comments have been interesting, but if it's your party, YOU make the rules. Let us know if you finalize something.
All the comments have been interesting, but if it's your party, YOU make the rules. Let us know if you finalize something.
well if we can't say no.......then yes we're in
What happen to a key party? where the women pick a key. and the guys pick a lock. then they try to find the right key to their lock. then they play if the key matches the guys lock.
SOUTHERNFUN wrote:Sounds like "SPLASH' event in Orlando.....[/quote]CARRIERMAN wrote:Now, if only someone would get the ball rolling to do one locally - wink, wink.
[quote=DARKNLADYJEDI]Why not just have a black room? Cover all windows solid, leave the lights off, hang two curtains a few feet apart coming in. You won't know who it is you are touching unless they speak. Never had the guts to go in one of these at major parties, but at a small house party I think it would be fun.
Not familiar with the "SPLASH" event - wanna fill me in, or would you like my e-mail address to do that?
Thanks.
All your comments have been interesting. In contrast to some of the alternative suggestions of anonymous interaction, our proposed party is designed to one of conscious, aware interactions (as well as being edgy, and hopefully erotic as hell!). This type of party is one that depends on trust in and integrity of one's partner, and their sensitivity to each other's desires and feelings. You CAN say no to another person at the party, but not to your own partner's direction. So you would only want to attend with a partner that you trust to respect your concerns and wishes.
After the women get together and plan things out for their men (and later when the reverse occurs), the interaction could take many directions. It wouldn't necessarily be everyone pairing off at their partner's direction to go off and fuck for the next hour. For instance, 5 of the women could decide that they wanted to play with each other for a while, so they would tell their husbands to just watch (and I can't imagine any man who would object to that!) After a half hour they could invite their men to join them if they wanted.
Or maybe Mrs X confides in the other women that she would really like to try a gang bang with 4 men, so 4 of the women tell their partners to group together, and the group watches as Mrs X takes on the men one (or more) at a time.
Let's suppose that Mrs X wants to play with Mr Y, but not a full swap. She would just tell that to Mrs Y in the women's powwow, and trust that Mrs Y would so instruct Mr Y. Or alternatively, Mrs X may be happy to interact fully with Mr Y, but Mrs Y is not comfortable with her man fucking anyone else. Mrs Y then tells Mr Y what to do and not do, and trusts that he will follow her instructions (even if, in the heat of passion, Mrs X is asking him to go further).
Someone asked about the unlikely event that, when the women (or men) powwow, they all express that there is one particular person (let's say Mr Y) that none of them want to play with. Then when the playtime starts, Mrs Y could tell Mr Y that he was going to play just with her. Or Mrs Y could arrange to have an FMF with another couple while Mr Y watches. We think that if partners are in tune with each other, there would be a way for everyone to go home happy and still be sensitive to the wishes or concerns of one's partner as well as the others at the party.
L&P
After the women get together and plan things out for their men (and later when the reverse occurs), the interaction could take many directions. It wouldn't necessarily be everyone pairing off at their partner's direction to go off and fuck for the next hour. For instance, 5 of the women could decide that they wanted to play with each other for a while, so they would tell their husbands to just watch (and I can't imagine any man who would object to that!) After a half hour they could invite their men to join them if they wanted.
Or maybe Mrs X confides in the other women that she would really like to try a gang bang with 4 men, so 4 of the women tell their partners to group together, and the group watches as Mrs X takes on the men one (or more) at a time.
Let's suppose that Mrs X wants to play with Mr Y, but not a full swap. She would just tell that to Mrs Y in the women's powwow, and trust that Mrs Y would so instruct Mr Y. Or alternatively, Mrs X may be happy to interact fully with Mr Y, but Mrs Y is not comfortable with her man fucking anyone else. Mrs Y then tells Mr Y what to do and not do, and trusts that he will follow her instructions (even if, in the heat of passion, Mrs X is asking him to go further).
Someone asked about the unlikely event that, when the women (or men) powwow, they all express that there is one particular person (let's say Mr Y) that none of them want to play with. Then when the playtime starts, Mrs Y could tell Mr Y that he was going to play just with her. Or Mrs Y could arrange to have an FMF with another couple while Mr Y watches. We think that if partners are in tune with each other, there would be a way for everyone to go home happy and still be sensitive to the wishes or concerns of one's partner as well as the others at the party.
L&P
Alternative party ideas you have suggested:
An "Eyes Wide Shut" party may be interesting, but that would be a discussion for another post.
A dark room at a party could be lots of fun, but it would seem that would be more appropriate as one possible activity at a larger group party, rather than the central feature for a small group. Otherwise we would think everyone would feel a lot of pressure.
For the Boise couple, that sounds like a fun idea. Why don't you post that and see if you have enough interest with the folks in Idaho (or northern Utah, for that matter).
L&P
An "Eyes Wide Shut" party may be interesting, but that would be a discussion for another post.
A dark room at a party could be lots of fun, but it would seem that would be more appropriate as one possible activity at a larger group party, rather than the central feature for a small group. Otherwise we would think everyone would feel a lot of pressure.
For the Boise couple, that sounds like a fun idea. Why don't you post that and see if you have enough interest with the folks in Idaho (or northern Utah, for that matter).
L&P
Would this not be couples only? Who selects and what criteria... There is so much to concider when you think about it, if you just go and close your eyes it might be miserable or the best time ever...
This is why I never played those role-playing fantasy games like Dungeons and Dragons; too many things to remember.
we would be in, but as far as attraction goes there has to be some, most swingers are great people but we wouldn't fuck all the swingers out there, chemistry is great but there has to be attraction, get it rolling and let us know, we would love to see who'd go.