Is it cheating if you are a in an open relationship and you have sex outside the relationship without the other person knowing. Email, phone calls, sex sessions in said bed.
Why would one be compelled to bring other people home and lie about it, when you can have whatever you want, solo or group, as long as the truth is told? I don't understand it.
Do you think there can be to much of a good thing?
Why would one be compelled to bring other people home and lie about it, when you can have whatever you want, solo or group, as long as the truth is told? I don't understand it.
Do you think there can be to much of a good thing?
I guess it would depend on how the two people define an "open relationship". If you both agree that seeing other people is acceptable and are not living together than I can see how you could have sex with people without the other knowing or even caring. More like a fuck buddies arrangement.
Now, if there is some form of agreement where the other has to know, then yes, it's dishonest and it's cheating.
Now, if there is some form of agreement where the other has to know, then yes, it's dishonest and it's cheating.
I think the main reason people cheat (in any kind of relationship) is because someone isn't happy with how things are or unhappy with their partner. Marriages can be "open" to sexual partners, but if the emotional sharing isn't open between partners, then that need to share will be taken elsewhere, thus cheating. So, couples that open up their marriage need to make sure they open up all aspects of their marriage with each other, especially communication.
I believe it is cheating also. I tell my husband everything and he tells me everything. If I want to meet someone all I have to do is tell him. Thats what an open relationship is... being open and honest with each other. When your not open and honest you loose that sense of trust the two of you have.
Not ascribing to or promoting this practice, but rather to add to the content of the conversation:
I'm sure we've all, at some point or another, been looking to find an attractive couple and run into the living Pareto principle: 8:2. One of them is an 8, the other is a 2. While you both find the 8 incredibly attractive, the 2 keeps you from even establishing contact.
Let's suppose a couple in which the man is exceptionally picky about the women he'll consider. Unfortunately for him, he's the 2. This couple effectively never hooks up with anyone, and the guy becomes jealous and insecure over all the attention his wife is getting. The dynamic of their relationship has changed. He's become resentful and spiteful, and has started demeaning and degrading her to compensate for his own insecurity.
This woman is gorgeous, and overwhelmed with attention and desire from other men on a daily basis; but jealous hubby won't even consider the idea of the two of them playing alone on occasion.
This scenario is common in the lifestyle; and it's formulaic to the most common cause of cheating in vanilla relationships. What's more is that it's compounded by ever present opportunity, and the illusion of having an 'open relationship'.
Given the high rate of cheating in vanilla couples, it's really no wonder this sort of cheating happens with such regularity in the lifestyle.
I'm sure we've all, at some point or another, been looking to find an attractive couple and run into the living Pareto principle: 8:2. One of them is an 8, the other is a 2. While you both find the 8 incredibly attractive, the 2 keeps you from even establishing contact.
Let's suppose a couple in which the man is exceptionally picky about the women he'll consider. Unfortunately for him, he's the 2. This couple effectively never hooks up with anyone, and the guy becomes jealous and insecure over all the attention his wife is getting. The dynamic of their relationship has changed. He's become resentful and spiteful, and has started demeaning and degrading her to compensate for his own insecurity.
This woman is gorgeous, and overwhelmed with attention and desire from other men on a daily basis; but jealous hubby won't even consider the idea of the two of them playing alone on occasion.
This scenario is common in the lifestyle; and it's formulaic to the most common cause of cheating in vanilla relationships. What's more is that it's compounded by ever present opportunity, and the illusion of having an 'open relationship'.
Given the high rate of cheating in vanilla couples, it's really no wonder this sort of cheating happens with such regularity in the lifestyle.
passionimoact in simpsonville, sc seeking passionimpact at hotmail
ya we agreed we tell each other everything. MOved him in to see how it goes. I go to work he brings in the craigslist brigade. Than lies to my face about having any contact. So I dropped him off at greyhound. I wasn't in love, it wasn't my boyfriend. But someone who I considered a good friend and could always be open and honest with. Sucks when friends can't even tell the damn truth. Idk couldn't been he was unhappy or unattractive, he started posting 2 days after he got here from Indiana (where I am from and met him). I think if your getting fucked several times a day w plenty of other pussy around that might suffice. Guess some will never be totally satisfied.
And to think .....I turned down some beautiful pussy because I didn't want to fuck her without him knowing....damn at least I got her number and lost his
And to think .....I turned down some beautiful pussy because I didn't want to fuck her without him knowing....damn at least I got her number and lost his
PASSIONIMPACT wrote:
passionimoact in simpsonville, sc seeking passionimpact at hotmail
tell me you didn't just use this thread as a booty call.....I mean, you really aren't that desperate and pathetic are you? If I misunderstood, feel free to explain and I will apologize and have a good laugh at my mistake...but in the meantime....omg. WTF are you thinking.
ABCCOUPLE wrote:
Then if this is the case, the MALE needs to openly discuss his jealousy with his wife. At that point they need to BOTH decide that Swinging/Lifestyle is NOT for them, and do something else. If there were no major issues in the marriage before they looked at swinging, then the wife SHOULD comply with her partners request to move on and get out of the lifestyle.
Part of the reason his happens so often in the lifestyle has more to do about the state of the marriage before they GO in, and not usually what happens while in it.
Though I do agree a partner can get jealous of another getting more attention, the reality is if they openly communicate this can be headed off.
One way is easy, the wife in that case, can tell other couples (no way in hell without him), this then forces the other couple to either accept them as a couple or move on. Which if they do, then thats fine, if they don't then everyone has fun.
Other ways to foster open communication - if you text other couples, keep an open device policy. In other words, at anytime the other partner can examine the texts of his partners. Make sure you agree to share all passwords for any phones, websites, chat's, etc. Yeah this might sound a little draconian, but if any partner feels jealousy, the can read the communication between their partner and someone else and evaluate if their partner is pushing the envelope. If their partner is deleting their chat history or text messages, then something MAY be going on and its time to call time out and discuss what is really happening.
Lets be honest, people don't hide shit unless they KNOW they fucked up. And once you start down that path, then its tough to get clean again with your partner. So the best thing is to have these communication RULES in place at the beginning.
Someone just asked me what our rules were the other day. I said, "we don't have any except one thing, which is play safe". I think that surprised this person at first, but I proceeded to share that our communication level is very open, and we will discuss EVERYTHING, and because of that nothing bothers us to much. And if it did, then we would regroup and decide if we do need to change our rules.
What my wife said earlier was very important as well. Cheating can happen on many levels, and one of the big dangers is to emotionally cheat because one partner is not feeling as connected or getting the "emotional" attention they may need.
I agree with you entirely with all you've said in this post. Again, I wasn't condoning any behavior nor justifying. Not even something I've personally had to deal with, because I have a similar mentality with regards to relationships. Being Open and Honest is the key to making any relationship succeed.
Though, I truly wonder, how many couples are secure enough to have a truly open relationship? Your situation is truly beautiful, and I'd assert very rare.
Who here is open enough with their SO that the only rule between you is being open and honest?
I'm secure enough with my guy fucking someone else while I am at work as long as I'm not being told otherwise. I want someone to come home to me, respect me and not use me to get ahead for only themselves. Are only rule for his visit is that there are not people in my house I don't know or know about. That was it.
Truth is, I have had 3 open relationships, and every one has done the same damn thing to me. This is why I am still single after 6 years. It is so much better for me to swing solo and be able to leave after I am done and not have to worry about a partner getting hurt or jealous.
Maybe giving someone so much room to be free, just opens up a slew of problems and disappointment.
Truth is, I have had 3 open relationships, and every one has done the same damn thing to me. This is why I am still single after 6 years. It is so much better for me to swing solo and be able to leave after I am done and not have to worry about a partner getting hurt or jealous.
Maybe giving someone so much room to be free, just opens up a slew of problems and disappointment.
OMG blue eyes, you made me reread my thread lol......I was wondering why I was pathetic lol..(than I saw you were quoting)....hahahha thanks for the laugh. Some men will never get a clue. And yes he just did that. Also, his penis doesn't want to show his identity because he is VIP. Very important penis lol.
TATERTOT1982 wrote:
I'm secure enough with my guy fucking someone else while I am at work as long as I'm not being told otherwise. I want someone to come home to me, respect me and not use me to get ahead for only themselves. Are only rule for his visit is that there are not people in my house I don't know or know about. That was it.
Truth is, I have had 3 open relationships, and every one has done the same damn thing to me. This is why I am still single after 6 years. It is so much better for me to swing solo and be able to leave after I am done and not have to worry about a partner getting hurt or jealous.
Maybe giving someone so much room to be free, just opens up a slew of problems and disappointment.
I'm of the belief that complete trust like this has to be earned. Perhaps the answer for you is to find someone who is just a friend. Start from there with benefits, and without the expectation that they're going to tell you anything. Before having sex with them, let them know if you've been with anyone else since the last time; or tell him in advance.
Being open and honest about this type of thing is hard for most people, especially with the societal taboo associated with it. In order to establish that kind of communication, it tends to start by offering it. When the person is secure enough they'll tend to offer the same in return.
Some people claim to be open and honest in this way, but don't quite understand what it means.
For me, an open relationship is one where the relationship exists out of a mutual love and respect for one another. There's no need to set a boundary or rule, only to express your feelings regarding behaviors you're not comfortable with. A person that cares for you will naturally adjust their behavior to not hurt you, or express why they act that way in a manner that you'll find you're actually comfortable with it after all.
The real key is safety. So long as your partner feels safe in telling you something -without fear of reprisal, or fear of hurting you- then nothing will keep them from doing so.
I think after 5 years of knowing someone they have earned your trust.
DARKNLADYJEDI wrote:
I guess it would depend on how the two people define an "open relationship". If you both agree that seeing other people is acceptable and are not living together than I can see how you could have sex with people without the other knowing or even caring. More like a fuck buddies arrangement. Now, if there is some form of agreement where the other has to know, then yes, it's dishonest and it's cheating.
I completely agree with THIS definition.
However, I'd like to add that, in my mind, regardless of WHAT type of relationship you may or may not be in, doing ANYTHING that you don't or wouldn't want the other person in that relationship to know about, is being deceitful - i.e. - CHEATING!