We saw something a while back about talking to your kids about the lifestyle. Anyone know where we can find it?
The day will come when your kids won't share everything with you (if it isn't already here).
It's a two-way street.
What happens beyond your bedroom door is NONE of their business.
And if that bedroom door extends to someone else's bedroom - same rules apply.
The day may come when you'll feel a need to explain the Lifestyle to them - but NOT before they've matured to the point where they've established a sex life of their own.
DUMMY UP - it's none of their business.
It's a two-way street.
What happens beyond your bedroom door is NONE of their business.
And if that bedroom door extends to someone else's bedroom - same rules apply.
The day may come when you'll feel a need to explain the Lifestyle to them - but NOT before they've matured to the point where they've established a sex life of their own.
DUMMY UP - it's none of their business.
I agree with carrierman !!!!! Our 14 year old son knows something is going on but till he has his own sex life how the hell would you explain it !!!! Oh and I hope he is not having sex yet LMAO
Badboy8p
Badboy8p
LLGNJPG wrote:
I agree with carrierman !!!!! Our 14 year old son knows something is going on but till he has his own sex life how the hell would you explain it !!!! Oh and I hope he is not having sex yet LMAO Badboy8p
Yeah, right?
Have you heard the latest definition of a virgin?
The ugliest girl in the 3rd grade.
I remember years ago, seeing one of those 20/20 type shows about a couple in the lifestyle and there kids new all about it. I kinda felt bad for the kid. I have a 16 year old and have NOOOOO plans of ever telling him about it....I agree with everyone else....my child doesn't need to know ANYTHING about mine and my husbands sex life.
have to agree with the majority. Kids don't need to know.
Would you explain to your kids how you husband/wife gave you an amazing orgasm last night? I highly doubt it. So why go down the lifestyle path?
Mav
Would you explain to your kids how you husband/wife gave you an amazing orgasm last night? I highly doubt it. So why go down the lifestyle path?
Mav
Secrets and deceptive communication are the basis for a good relationship. Personally I believe it it is imperative that you start indoctrinating your children early.
Bob
Bob
Good god why on earth would anyone discuss this topic
With their kids? Can't imagine anyone thinking it's
a good idea.
With their kids? Can't imagine anyone thinking it's
a good idea.
Our kids are asking why we go out so much more than we used to...who we are going with...etc... I want to keep this private, but not so much because of the sex. I worry that they would think that Verne and I don't love each other and that we're not satisfied in our marrieage. And NOTHING could be further from the truth. It would make them feel insecure, I think.
The kids ask why we go out so much on weekends...
The first time they saw me (male) in a kilt for a fetish night, the girl (11) asked, 'Why you wearing a man skirt?' Then saw mom in her mermaid skirt and corset, she said, 'Ohhhhh....Sooooo pretty! You guys have fun!'
The boy (14) asked me what was in the box that I carry the Violet Wand in, I didn't answer, just went into our room and got a harmonica for him, handed it to him, and said, 'Here's a clue!' he's been practicing it since.
We have a set of rules in the house, one of those rules is that you do not open, touch, look at, think you may wanna look at, or look like you're thinking you may wanna think about touching one of the breifcase looking items in the house! We have all sorts of things in that type of case, they're scattered about the house, the boring things (lap top, a credit card machine for my business, etc) are easily accessible to them, so if they do open it when we're not here, they'll think we're nuts and the stuff in those cases are boring....The dangerous, expensive, sexually explicit stuff is all in our room (forbidden zone), its worked so far.
The first time they saw me (male) in a kilt for a fetish night, the girl (11) asked, 'Why you wearing a man skirt?' Then saw mom in her mermaid skirt and corset, she said, 'Ohhhhh....Sooooo pretty! You guys have fun!'
The boy (14) asked me what was in the box that I carry the Violet Wand in, I didn't answer, just went into our room and got a harmonica for him, handed it to him, and said, 'Here's a clue!' he's been practicing it since.
We have a set of rules in the house, one of those rules is that you do not open, touch, look at, think you may wanna look at, or look like you're thinking you may wanna think about touching one of the breifcase looking items in the house! We have all sorts of things in that type of case, they're scattered about the house, the boring things (lap top, a credit card machine for my business, etc) are easily accessible to them, so if they do open it when we're not here, they'll think we're nuts and the stuff in those cases are boring....The dangerous, expensive, sexually explicit stuff is all in our room (forbidden zone), its worked so far.
Hate to double post, but it is NONE of their business....
We all have open communication about sexuality, however, what Mom and I do is none of their business.
We all have open communication about sexuality, however, what Mom and I do is none of their business.
This is a hard post to replay to. when we first started is the lifestyle are kids where in there mid teens. All there life we tell them to tell us the truth. So when the picked up on what the wife and I was into It did not take vary dam long ether LOL. All at the same time They asked why are we cheating on each other? That is when the wife and I talked about it and we thought that being truth full if the best way to go. By this time we have been marred for 20 years or close to it. We told them that we are not cheating we are just living the life we missed out on as teens and doing it to gather. They took it vary will. We are vary close family to still to day. We fill the truth is the best way to go. KIDS ANT STUPID. If they are asking you about what your doing thy probably know the nacre.
We told our oldest children, 1 because they asked in a mature way about things that were going on, 2 because if we caught something they would find out anyway ( and who wants to have to explain why mom and dad got something if they are not playing around ), 3 because in some of these towns busybodies think it is their business to report us perverts to the law and we wanted them to not be embarrassed to bail us out. And we wanted to be sure theyknew that trust goes both ways and they could tell us anything.
Kids don't need to know, but if they do find out be honest with them. Most kids freek at the thought of there own parents having sex ( old people dont do that ) Old people being any one who has Kids. The new morality lets them do what they feel is right for them but the parents must stay in the conventional realms of decency. If they are still under age guard yourself It could be a life altering discovery for them.
JnG
JnG
OK, here's something just a bit off the subject - or is it?
Let's say you had your kids when you were pretty young, which means you and your spouse are both STILL relatively young. You've been swinging since the kids were mere toddlers - and you're still active swingers.
But, as far as you know, the kids have never known about your alternative Lifestyle.
Now that the kids are grown and out on their own, one night, you're at a swingers club, a house party or a meet-and-greet - and one of your kids show up with their spouse/signigicant other/date - and they're already friends with several of the people there.
What happens from here?
Let's say you had your kids when you were pretty young, which means you and your spouse are both STILL relatively young. You've been swinging since the kids were mere toddlers - and you're still active swingers.
But, as far as you know, the kids have never known about your alternative Lifestyle.
Now that the kids are grown and out on their own, one night, you're at a swingers club, a house party or a meet-and-greet - and one of your kids show up with their spouse/signigicant other/date - and they're already friends with several of the people there.
What happens from here?
So, what happens when your daughter and her boyfriend show up to the same swingerd party? My daughter and I simply agreed that we would play like always - and stay out of each others way.
So, what happens when your daughter and her boyfriend show up to the same swingers party? My daughter and I simply agreed that we would play like always.
It all depends on the age of the kids and what exactly they're asking...no you don't need to go into details about who you're with or what you do but as kids get older they'll know something is different...our kids know that we go to fun parties where we get to dress up and they also learned (accidentally) that mom and dad sometimes have "naughty parties" where there are no kids allowed...they know that we have fun and that we love each other very much and have fun together!!
But, if you're children are older and this is not something you've done since they were little then it will be different behavior and children are NOT stupid!! We are also very honest and open with our kids...we want them to be able to talk to us about anything and as we approach the mid-teens we know this is going to include boyfriends/girlfriends and sooner or later sex...if you are deceptive with them then why will they feel they can be honest with you?? I would rather have my children know mom is a little weird and likes to have fun and be honest with me when they have questions than to it's "none of their damn business" attitude and have them never feel like they can come to me!
Don't get me wrong I am not condoning sitting them down and telling them everything you do and who you do it with but if they are asking questions and know something is up how can you ever expect them to be honest with you if you are deceptive with them??
Kisses...Naugh-Ty
But, if you're children are older and this is not something you've done since they were little then it will be different behavior and children are NOT stupid!! We are also very honest and open with our kids...we want them to be able to talk to us about anything and as we approach the mid-teens we know this is going to include boyfriends/girlfriends and sooner or later sex...if you are deceptive with them then why will they feel they can be honest with you?? I would rather have my children know mom is a little weird and likes to have fun and be honest with me when they have questions than to it's "none of their damn business" attitude and have them never feel like they can come to me!
Don't get me wrong I am not condoning sitting them down and telling them everything you do and who you do it with but if they are asking questions and know something is up how can you ever expect them to be honest with you if you are deceptive with them??
Kisses...Naugh-Ty
Sounds pretty sick, yman!
Is it my imagination, or do I hear the "Twilight Zone" theme playing in the background?
Quick note! There is a difference about talking or explaining about swingging (or lifestyle). Then telling your children what happens in your bed room. Kids hear things and sometimes want clarification on the subject not our sex lives!
WTF! Just because your in the lifestyle don't bring KIDS into it
they have enough problems without knowing Mom and Dad are fucking other people.
they have enough problems without knowing Mom and Dad are fucking other people.
There is a huge difference between talking to your kids (age appropriate of course) about sex and alternative lifestyles and telling them details about what we do....the first is responsible parenting...the second is not a good idea (in my opinion)...the OP did not clarify and had not come back to offer any further input 
THANKS EVERYONE! Appreciate all the feedback from everyone! We have recently found a real keeper male 3rd playmate. Our daughter was asking questions, Thanks again!
We would personally not tell them anything until they were older if we needed too. We don't like to play when they are home so hopefully this subject never comes up. When they are older and they said they know something is going on then we could discuss it. But as children they don't need to know what mom and dad do. It is no one's business but ours.
I have been thinking about this.
My oldest knows - he's 15. He's the one who makes sure I look ok when I go out, I have my cell phone, enough money, and a condom. At the same time, he's also a reason I never allow ANYONE back to my house. He's very protective and would prolly beat the shit outta someone.
My other 3 are only 11, 8, and 4. Nothing good could ever come from them knowing. They see me as "mommy" and that's all they need to see. IF they ask questions I give them age appropriate answers. But truth be told, they don't really notice anything. Either I'm amazingly good at being discrete with them or they are completely oblivious.
You know your kids, you do what's right for YOUR family and situation. Just don't be outting me to MY kids.
My oldest knows - he's 15. He's the one who makes sure I look ok when I go out, I have my cell phone, enough money, and a condom. At the same time, he's also a reason I never allow ANYONE back to my house. He's very protective and would prolly beat the shit outta someone.
My other 3 are only 11, 8, and 4. Nothing good could ever come from them knowing. They see me as "mommy" and that's all they need to see. IF they ask questions I give them age appropriate answers. But truth be told, they don't really notice anything. Either I'm amazingly good at being discrete with them or they are completely oblivious.
You know your kids, you do what's right for YOUR family and situation. Just don't be outting me to MY kids.
There is no one way to raise children and no one is really qualified to answer your dilemma for you. You and your family must work that one out for yourself. Anything we tell you might not be the right answer. We all come from different places and personalities. There are societies where the children belong to the group not to the parents and group sex is common. So much depends on what you teach the kids about other things and life in general. It is no easier to explain swinging to your family than it is to come out to the gay lifestyle. Some families take it in stride and some do not. I guess the question is how open do you teach your children to be of others and their lifestyle. Also are they old enough to keep the lifestyle secret. Remember the state or local government can get involved as they do with polygamist groups in Utah that come out. I can just see some self-righteous bastard causing problems for you. PLEASE, Walk softly.