I am the male half of a couple. I am also disabled and in a wheelchair. Add to that I am new to the lifestyle. Shelley my other half is a gorgeous BBW (on the smaller side of BBW). She was very active in the lifestyle prior to us getting married. We have had a couple threesomes in the beginning of our relationship. Now after 12 years of marriage I am finally secure enough in our relationship for us to become active again.
Yet we are finding it very difficult to actually find folks to play with and or parties that are accessible to my chair. We have had folks online come right out and tell us that if it was not for me being in a wheelchair they would have no problem meeting us. Heck we even had one couple come right out and ask me if Shelley would be willing to play solo cause they did not want to have anything to do with someone in a wheelchair (not from here).
So I guess what my question is, is there actually active disabled folks in the lifestyle and are there non disabled couples willing to get together with those of us who might have physical challenges. Or am I just going to be constantly rolling uphill?
Jeff
Yet we are finding it very difficult to actually find folks to play with and or parties that are accessible to my chair. We have had folks online come right out and tell us that if it was not for me being in a wheelchair they would have no problem meeting us. Heck we even had one couple come right out and ask me if Shelley would be willing to play solo cause they did not want to have anything to do with someone in a wheelchair (not from here).
So I guess what my question is, is there actually active disabled folks in the lifestyle and are there non disabled couples willing to get together with those of us who might have physical challenges. Or am I just going to be constantly rolling uphill?
Jeff
We have actually encountered a somewhat local couple who we really like, and she is in a wheelchair. I'm ashamed to say that we have not become very close, other than being friendly at parties as we're unsure of what is expected and what her "disability" is. Personally, I think it would be much easier to "approach" an obviously "disabled" person/couple if there was some sort of specified background on the disability and its limitations and requirements for that person- sexually speaking.... (Perhaps a basic run-thru in your profile?)
I know that several people suffer from different "ailments" that can sometimes be frustrating to potential sex partners. I myself (female half) have rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and severe colitis - none of which have responded well (if at all) to treatment. These seemingly small (compared to being in a wheelchair) ailments can have a big impact on my sex life! I cannot always be trusted to show up at a party, and when I CAN, I'm often hurting so bad that "playing" is out of the question. When I DO play, I tire more quickly than I'd like, and certain positions are out of the question. Often, meeting for dinner is uncomfortable with the digestive "issues" that follow eating... etc. etc. So when we become friendly enough with people we might be interested in playing with, I have to be up-front and let them know what they're dealing with... even tho my problems may sound trivial, they're not to me, and they can and DO end up affecting my sexual performance and my social life, or lack thereof!
I don't like to say much, because to me it sounds like "whining" and the last thing I want to be is a whiner! However, we all need to realize that everyone has their own problems, obstacles, issues, etc and when we know what we're looking at, we can decide if it's going to be worth the effort to try and establish a sexual relationship. If people are aware of what you CAN do, they may be more willing to become involved. And if they're not willing to work with you and understand that you've got some limitations, but that you've still got alot going for you.. then you're probably better off without them. I hope that helps... And the very best of luck to you both! Hugz!
I know that several people suffer from different "ailments" that can sometimes be frustrating to potential sex partners. I myself (female half) have rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and severe colitis - none of which have responded well (if at all) to treatment. These seemingly small (compared to being in a wheelchair) ailments can have a big impact on my sex life! I cannot always be trusted to show up at a party, and when I CAN, I'm often hurting so bad that "playing" is out of the question. When I DO play, I tire more quickly than I'd like, and certain positions are out of the question. Often, meeting for dinner is uncomfortable with the digestive "issues" that follow eating... etc. etc. So when we become friendly enough with people we might be interested in playing with, I have to be up-front and let them know what they're dealing with... even tho my problems may sound trivial, they're not to me, and they can and DO end up affecting my sexual performance and my social life, or lack thereof!
I don't like to say much, because to me it sounds like "whining" and the last thing I want to be is a whiner! However, we all need to realize that everyone has their own problems, obstacles, issues, etc and when we know what we're looking at, we can decide if it's going to be worth the effort to try and establish a sexual relationship. If people are aware of what you CAN do, they may be more willing to become involved. And if they're not willing to work with you and understand that you've got some limitations, but that you've still got alot going for you.. then you're probably better off without them. I hope that helps... And the very best of luck to you both! Hugz!
Thank you for the pointers CountryBumpins. I will certainly add more to our profiles. Your conditions do not sound at all trivial. In fact FMS combined with Peripheral Neuropathy, Diabetic Neuropathy and Sciatica are why I am in the wheelchair. Like you the last thing I want to do is sound like I am whining. After all we are here to have fun not bitch 
Jeff
Jeff
My best friend was disabled, and while up until the last month of her life she was not confined to needing mobility assistance, she was active in the lifestyle and very upfront with people about her disability. She was always a BBW, struggling with issues from severe depression and diabetes, her weight fluctuated up and down as a side effect of various medications and changes in medications to manage her primary illness, that being bipolar disorder. Sometimes she had zero sex drive as a side effect of some of the medications for her depression, and sometimes she wanted sex 24/7 (Manic side of the bipolar disorder). She always told anyone that contacted her about her illness from the first contact/reply and would leave it up to them if there was ever to be an in person meeting knowing that she may or may not be able to play. We were friends for over 8 years, and while we were active in the lifestyle as a couple for 2 years we always let others know there was a possibility of the other one of us being around (especially when she was having bad times from her mental illness). She always had a good time when she was able to play, and we met a lot of really good people.
So just hang in there, be honest and confident. You will meet people that are willing to play with you once they understand your situation and limitations, and you will have some wonderful times.
Larry
So just hang in there, be honest and confident. You will meet people that are willing to play with you once they understand your situation and limitations, and you will have some wonderful times.
Larry
Too bad you are so far away. Would not be a problem to us. We would only need to know the situation and limitations ahead of time. We chose when we began that cleanliness and personality would be the things that would limit us. Everyone has a right to enjoy life and the lifestyle. We have only encountered one man who wore a brace. He was great in bed.
Ralph and Fae
Ralph and Fae
LPF_69 wrote:
My best friend was disabled, and while up until the last month of her life she was not confined to needing mobility assistance, she was active in the lifestyle and very upfront with people about her disability. She was always a BBW, struggling with issues from severe depression and diabetes, her weight fluctuated up and down as a side effect of various medications and changes in medications to manage her primary illness, that being bipolar disorder. Sometimes she had zero sex drive as a side effect of some of the medications for her depression, and sometimes she wanted sex 24/7 (Manic side of the bipolar disorder). She always told anyone that contacted her about her illness from the first contact/reply and would leave it up to them if there was ever to be an in person meeting knowing that she may or may not be able to play. We were friends for over 8 years, and while we were active in the lifestyle as a couple for 2 years we always let others know there was a possibility of the other one of us being around (especially when she was having bad times from her mental illness). She always had a good time when she was able to play, and we met a lot of really good people.
So just hang in there, be honest and confident. You will meet people that are willing to play with you once they understand your situation and limitations, and you will have some wonderful times.
Larry
i totally understand where she's coming from with the side effect of the meds. although she shouldn't be having the manic stages unless she goes off the meds. i know how tough those ups and downs can be though. i'm sure some people around here saw me at a few parties and thought i was nuts and/or a very terrible person. i never bothered to explain it to anybody. now i'm medicated properly and it can have its effects as well, but thankfully the new meds don't effect me sexually at this point.
We would have not problem at least meeting someone who is disabled. As long as we were attracted to them and we all got along we would probably play with them too. No one is perfect in this world including us.
Thank you all for the replies. Makes us wish we were in IN, ID, or UT. I do think that allot of it is simply due to where we live. Seems like here in Vegas everyone is looking for either a Porn star (and I don't mean the Ron Jeremy type) or strippers to go to bed with and we just don't match that description 
So if any of you are visiting Las Vegas in the near future or even the far future and want to just hang out drop us a note.
Jeff
So if any of you are visiting Las Vegas in the near future or even the far future and want to just hang out drop us a note.
Jeff
The guy I moved to Vegas with had MD. In a wheelchair loss use of legs, now he couldn't walk......but the motha could fuck. Just saying, look for people who have your same qualities or interests and just start and friendship and go from there. Once they meet you and you guys hit it off, they should be able to look past that. If they can't you don't want em anyway. I've dated 3 guys in wheelchairs and I liked them because they never let me think they needed me for anything.Strong, independent and could pop wheelies. All pretty hot. Hope your search goes well.
Hope your search goes well."Disabled" is one of those heavily loaded but so vague it's actually meaningless words that our pop culture loves so much. This is a subject I am profounding involved in both personally and professionally.
For example, did you know that alcoholism can be a disabling disease under federal regulations, and that alcoholics are protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act just like a child with Cerebral Palsy or a quadriplegic adult trauma survivor in a motorized wheelchair? That's a pretty wide range of conditions and causation! Woudn't you agree?
I am a disabled veteran. A huge percentage of former NFL football players and professional fighters have "disabilities." Some CURRENT players do, too! I have a quadriplegic friend who has climbed Mt. Everest. I know an Army Sargeant who is serving in combat in Iraq and Afghanistan after losing both of his legs. And I know alcoholics whom I wouldn't trust to take out the trash.
So this all seems very subjective, doesn't it? That's because it is! You cannot put people with disabilities in a box any more than you can people without disabilities. Therefore, it is equally impossible to know in advance whether or not you would be sexually attracted to them. You will have to meet them, get to know them a bit, and see for yourself.
But make no mistake: "disabled" does NOT automatically apply to sex! One of the most profound Abilities of people with disAbilities, is the ability to adapt and improvise to compensate for their abnormalities. And some disabilities (like bipolar disorder, autism, etc.) are actually the OVER-abundance of things that normal people have and/or experience in smaller doses or less frequently.
I'm sure you've all heard of the medical condition "Priapism" by now. This "something wrong with you" is when the male penis remains erect no matter what...the permanent boner. This condition can be painful, embarassing, highly inconvenient, and a helluva lot of fun for awhile! But to the person toting that thing around all the time, it becomes a disability. Get the idea?
For example, did you know that alcoholism can be a disabling disease under federal regulations, and that alcoholics are protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act just like a child with Cerebral Palsy or a quadriplegic adult trauma survivor in a motorized wheelchair? That's a pretty wide range of conditions and causation! Woudn't you agree?
I am a disabled veteran. A huge percentage of former NFL football players and professional fighters have "disabilities." Some CURRENT players do, too! I have a quadriplegic friend who has climbed Mt. Everest. I know an Army Sargeant who is serving in combat in Iraq and Afghanistan after losing both of his legs. And I know alcoholics whom I wouldn't trust to take out the trash.
So this all seems very subjective, doesn't it? That's because it is! You cannot put people with disabilities in a box any more than you can people without disabilities. Therefore, it is equally impossible to know in advance whether or not you would be sexually attracted to them. You will have to meet them, get to know them a bit, and see for yourself.
But make no mistake: "disabled" does NOT automatically apply to sex! One of the most profound Abilities of people with disAbilities, is the ability to adapt and improvise to compensate for their abnormalities. And some disabilities (like bipolar disorder, autism, etc.) are actually the OVER-abundance of things that normal people have and/or experience in smaller doses or less frequently.
I'm sure you've all heard of the medical condition "Priapism" by now. This "something wrong with you" is when the male penis remains erect no matter what...the permanent boner. This condition can be painful, embarassing, highly inconvenient, and a helluva lot of fun for awhile! But to the person toting that thing around all the time, it becomes a disability. Get the idea?
A couple of years ago when I wasn't sure what was going to happen physically with me I wondered what I'd do if I became "DISABLED". I thought about starting a site for DISABLED people but found there are already a few "dating" sites out there.
We don't post in the forum often but we feel this is a good time. Me being the male half of the couple and the wife being in a chair have been through this at the beginning. Sure there are people out there that for some reason have a problem, but you will find more people that are open to the experience. We have met cuntrybumpkins at parties and they are great people. We have met alot of great people from swingular that look at her as a person and dont even notice the chair and for that there have been many memorable times. Majesticwolf also very cool Naughty and Lucky the list goes on and we hope not to ofend the others by not mentioning them. We have even met Rob several years back and he is also an awesome person. The point is don't be discouraged, keep on getting out to meet people. One thing she would like to see is for people to just come right out and ask, to her that is the most polite way to get to know her and find out what her limitations are. Which are very few. twobears
TWOBEARS wrote:
We don't post in the forum often but we feel this is a good time. Me being the male half of the couple and the wife being in a chair have been through this at the beginning. Sure there are people out there that for some reason have a problem, but you will find more people that are open to the experience. We have met cuntrybumpkins at parties and they are great people. We have met alot of great people from swingular that look at her as a person and dont even notice the chair and for that there have been many memorable times. Majesticwolf also very cool Naughty and Lucky the list goes on and we hope not to ofend the others by not mentioning them. We have even met Rob several years back and he is also an awesome person. The point is don't be discouraged, keep on getting out to meet people. One thing she would like to see is for people to just come right out and ask, to her that is the most polite way to get to know her and find out what her limitations are. Which are very few. twobears
Awww, thank you!!! You guys are awesome, very cool people and we are the ones who are lucky to know you guys!! Kisses...Naugh-Ty
I WOLF am disabled, Dont feel that way, am told that, Feel sorry for me? Ya better not! Would I not be just as quick in a fight? my disability hold me back?? I and anybody that knows me, knows not! Twobears,Deannas so friggin hot!..lol, I was disabled when I owned a biker bar in San Diego, (some brawls did I think about my spine getting twisted??..YES!) Cast iron barstools across my back, Poolsticks...yada yada, They all lost! But tell ya what!, im still alive and well in Utah after some rebuilding! Do I have the same heart? no. BUT spirit never dies! What I believe in, be it in San Diego,NYC,or Utah, Everyone that isnt't disabled, better keep up with me!
WOLF
Union Ironworker(ret)local 229
San Diego, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Boston, Vermont(Burlington, Middlebury), New York City
WOLF
Union Ironworker(ret)local 229
San Diego, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Boston, Vermont(Burlington, Middlebury), New York City
My spouse lost her arm to cancer at a young age.
We havnt been very active either because of how shy we normally both are.
We havnt been very active either because of how shy we normally both are.
The opportunity for me to play with someone who has a physical handicap/disability has never presented itself.
And I've never even given it much thought, one way or the other.
But I see absolutely NO reason why it would enter into my decision on whether or not to play.
There but for the grace of God go I.
And I've never even given it much thought, one way or the other.
But I see absolutely NO reason why it would enter into my decision on whether or not to play.
There but for the grace of God go I.
Wolf thanks for the comment
Someone being disabled for us is not a factor. We have learned over the years that if we had only chosen good looking, fit, active people then we would have missed out on the best times we ever had. If someone has a great personality and a desire to have fun, there is some chemistry then hell yes, lets have some fun.
UTAHCOUPLE4PLAY wrote:
Someone being disabled for us is not a factor. We have learned over the years that if we had only chosen good looking, fit, active people then we would have missed out on the best times we ever had. If someone has a great personality and a desire to have fun, there is some chemistry then hell yes, lets have some fun.
we are right there with you, fun people are fun people, regaurdless of looks,size, ability, or what ever, attitude is what is attractive to us.
There are many different kinds of disabilities. Some more obvious than others. If that was a problem with me I would have missed out on so many very close friendships. One of my dearest, closet friends died from MS last year and my life wouldn't be the same if I hadn't taken the time I did, to spend with her. God Bless You Ricki....