With the risk of never being able to find someone to play with again, I'd like to post a question that is somewhat embarrassing.... so be nice in your responses. 
We've had a few experiences now and I seem to be having a problem much more often than I'd like to. I've read online about "performance anxiety" and I think that is what I'm dealing with. I get in a sexual situation and all of the sudden there is this 600 foot wall blocking me from getting into the moment. And the unhappy result is....um....er.... lets just say not so impressive.
So, has anyone else dealt with this? How have you gotten over it(besides saying "just relax", as that hasnt seemed to work)? I feel really bad about the women I'm with, they're hoping for a good experience and I'm just not delivering. Have any of you ladies run into this, how do you handle it?
The very frustrating thing is I know it's all in my head. I'm assured every morning that the mechanics are all working just fine. And I don't really have any problems with Megan.
I think worst of all is that a few difficult situations has created a ton of fear in me to try any more. But I don't see how I can get it all worked out with out trying more, but I'm very nervous about offending more women.
SO there it is. Feel free to point and laugh... but then see if you can say something constructive to me.
We've had a few experiences now and I seem to be having a problem much more often than I'd like to. I've read online about "performance anxiety" and I think that is what I'm dealing with. I get in a sexual situation and all of the sudden there is this 600 foot wall blocking me from getting into the moment. And the unhappy result is....um....er.... lets just say not so impressive.
So, has anyone else dealt with this? How have you gotten over it(besides saying "just relax", as that hasnt seemed to work)? I feel really bad about the women I'm with, they're hoping for a good experience and I'm just not delivering. Have any of you ladies run into this, how do you handle it?
The very frustrating thing is I know it's all in my head. I'm assured every morning that the mechanics are all working just fine. And I don't really have any problems with Megan.
I think worst of all is that a few difficult situations has created a ton of fear in me to try any more. But I don't see how I can get it all worked out with out trying more, but I'm very nervous about offending more women.
SO there it is. Feel free to point and laugh... but then see if you can say something constructive to me.
It's more common than you may realize...and many men will not admit to it. I've been there myself brother.
It's embarrassing for the other people in the situation too. We've seen it a couple of times, and it's understandable, so if it happens to you, try to remember that the other people aren't going to be angry or mocking (well, 99% of them won't be).
If you are the type of person to whom this happens, I would suggest ensuring that you don't have sex on the first meeting. You should get together with people who can take it a bit slowly and have social times with you first. Some guys are just ready to go with no problem, and others are not.
If you are the type of person to whom this happens, I would suggest ensuring that you don't have sex on the first meeting. You should get together with people who can take it a bit slowly and have social times with you first. Some guys are just ready to go with no problem, and others are not.
pssst. wanna know a secret?
I have serious performance anxiety myself. Granted, I'm not trying to maintain an erection but things go south for me as well. Sometimes, I'm too dry, sometimes too tight, sometimes my nipples stay totally soft and inverted. It can be frustrating. Even when I'm with Dave it can happen.
The way I figure it, it's pretty normal. There are things you can do to help move things along. I make full use of certain OTC products like lotions, oils, etc to help with my dryness and if I was going to be with a man who I knew had some sort of performance anxiety or even erectile dysfunction I keep a supply of little blue pills with me.
Penetration is NOT the only way to get her off. And most women understand that you aren't a circus act for their own personal amusement. So be open about it when it happens and have a back up plan. If it becomes a constant issue, see a dr. But until then develop a sense of humor and learn to not take sex so seriously. If things with you and Megan rock, then that is what matters. You don't "owe" anyone else more then what you can deliver.
xox
Tammy
I have serious performance anxiety myself. Granted, I'm not trying to maintain an erection but things go south for me as well. Sometimes, I'm too dry, sometimes too tight, sometimes my nipples stay totally soft and inverted. It can be frustrating. Even when I'm with Dave it can happen.
The way I figure it, it's pretty normal. There are things you can do to help move things along. I make full use of certain OTC products like lotions, oils, etc to help with my dryness and if I was going to be with a man who I knew had some sort of performance anxiety or even erectile dysfunction I keep a supply of little blue pills with me.
Penetration is NOT the only way to get her off. And most women understand that you aren't a circus act for their own personal amusement. So be open about it when it happens and have a back up plan. If it becomes a constant issue, see a dr. But until then develop a sense of humor and learn to not take sex so seriously. If things with you and Megan rock, then that is what matters. You don't "owe" anyone else more then what you can deliver.
xox
Tammy
I have never had a Problem Keeping "My Tong Hard."My fingers may get a cramp every now and then, but I have several of them and two hands to boot. So just in case "Mister Happy", is not feeling quite up to the task. Just remember its all about "Her Pleasure" and Most Women don't care How they get off just get them off. You will most likely be less worried if you just relax and let "Her Keep On Trucken" And if you can Laugh it off and go with the flow all will be good
I don't know how many times that I have just...ummm...used my tongue to completely get a woman off. Think blow job. You love it don't you? Well so do the ladies, so I've been told. And, like everything else, the more you do it, the better you get at it.
What everyone up there ^ says is true. You need to get comfortable with the people your with. Does this type of thing happen to me? More then I'd like to admit. But then again, I have something to fall back on. I have an insatiable apatite. You don't get as big as I am just eatin' ribs...LOL.
One thing I can suggest is to slowly get into another lady or cpl. We've met a single woman and have been talking, and just playing around (mostly heavy petting and oral) for weeks now. The sexual tension has built up so far that it feels like it did in high-school when we are all together. That's where you want it. The excitement takes over, you forget about your "problem" and let nature take it's course. And if "IT" happens, put your diving gear on and go until she can't take it anymore. Trust me if she has to stop you, she'll remember you way more then if "Mr. Happy" decides when it's all over.
What everyone up there ^ says is true. You need to get comfortable with the people your with. Does this type of thing happen to me? More then I'd like to admit. But then again, I have something to fall back on. I have an insatiable apatite. You don't get as big as I am just eatin' ribs...LOL.
One thing I can suggest is to slowly get into another lady or cpl. We've met a single woman and have been talking, and just playing around (mostly heavy petting and oral) for weeks now. The sexual tension has built up so far that it feels like it did in high-school when we are all together. That's where you want it. The excitement takes over, you forget about your "problem" and let nature take it's course. And if "IT" happens, put your diving gear on and go until she can't take it anymore. Trust me if she has to stop you, she'll remember you way more then if "Mr. Happy" decides when it's all over.
There can be a few factors contributing to this as well. Sometimes too much alchohol can make things not work to well. We've been there.. On our end as well as others. When we first started out there was more than one occasion where this happened to me (T) as well. Mainly because of nerves, or I was too busy watching what she was doing and getting distracted...sometimes your thoughts get the best of you too...like do i measure up.. what if she's into him more than me.. these are all road blocks. We've been doing this long enough now where we're both comfortable enough with our relationship and others that we don't have issues so much anymore. We relax and enjoy ourselves. Sometimes the lifestyle just takes time to get used too. If its something you want to do than don't give up. We met some really great friends that just took the "issue" in stride and kept on getting with us and now there are no issues when we are with them.. We've done the same for others as well because we understand No need for embarrasment my friend.. Its more common than most will admit or let on too.
Sometimes the lifestyle just takes time to get used too. If its something you want to do than don't give up. We met some really great friends that just took the "issue" in stride and kept on getting with us and now there are no issues when we are with them.. We've done the same for others as well because we understand No need for embarrasment my friend.. Its more common than most will admit or let on too.My thought is first...remember that you like doing this. Performance isn't something that needs to come from "down there". It comes from within you. If you're not into it on the inside then take a break and do things that get you excited on the inside (not necessarily sexually). I get into moods where I'm just not into sex so much if I'm having a lot of it or if I do get PA. It does kind of begin to feel like a chore rather than a good time to me and I don't feel like "forcing" myself to try and put out a high performance. I'm guaranteed to fail.
Second...there is a way good video on here that shows female orgasms just by lightly rubbing the clit with no other touching involved. I've studied that video and it has been interesting to me to get a woman off with light rubbing and no other touching involved. That's a skill!
My advice...watch the video and when/if you're in the situation to have Performance Anxiety then just do the rubbing only or start w/ rubbing. It will take practice, I can't get all of 'em off.......yet.
Second...there is a way good video on here that shows female orgasms just by lightly rubbing the clit with no other touching involved. I've studied that video and it has been interesting to me to get a woman off with light rubbing and no other touching involved. That's a skill!
My advice...watch the video and when/if you're in the situation to have Performance Anxiety then just do the rubbing only or start w/ rubbing. It will take practice, I can't get all of 'em off.......yet.
Good topic! Let me (male half) say, that I believe there are more men here that have experience what you are talking about than those who haven't.
Usually this happens in the beginning of a new meeting but it can also happen when you have been playing with someone for years.
For me it was in the beginning but for our friends (the male half) it can still happen from time to time. For him the cause is that he looks at my wife, thinks she is so attractive, then has fears she is going to enjoy herself. Once you have had this experience you are talking you find yourself worrying that it will happen next time. The very fear then causes you to have issues again and again.
For me the help came from the little blue pill! lol
I used it 3-4 times then found that the "fears" weren't there anymore and haven't had an issue since.
The best feedback I think I can offer is something that my wife said to me after she had a 1 on 1 with our friend that didn't go so well.
She said that it was ok but that she wished he wouldn't have kept going on and on apologizing. She said that she understood that it happens and that it was ok! She wishes rather than him focusing on what he couldn't do at that moment that he would have relaxed, had fun, and just enjoy whatever could happen.
So my friend, if it happens again, just roll with it. Focus on her and HAVE FUN!!
Usually this happens in the beginning of a new meeting but it can also happen when you have been playing with someone for years.
For me it was in the beginning but for our friends (the male half) it can still happen from time to time. For him the cause is that he looks at my wife, thinks she is so attractive, then has fears she is going to enjoy herself. Once you have had this experience you are talking you find yourself worrying that it will happen next time. The very fear then causes you to have issues again and again.
For me the help came from the little blue pill! lol
I used it 3-4 times then found that the "fears" weren't there anymore and haven't had an issue since.
The best feedback I think I can offer is something that my wife said to me after she had a 1 on 1 with our friend that didn't go so well.
She said that it was ok but that she wished he wouldn't have kept going on and on apologizing. She said that she understood that it happens and that it was ok! She wishes rather than him focusing on what he couldn't do at that moment that he would have relaxed, had fun, and just enjoy whatever could happen.
So my friend, if it happens again, just roll with it. Focus on her and HAVE FUN!!
I have pulled up lame at the gate twice in my life.
Both were many, many years ago, and both were with the 2 sexiest, most beautiful women I've ever been with.
My only explanation is, perhaps (rather than describing it as anxiety) I was just intimidated by them.
I've always been pretty much an average guy - including my looks - and maybe my subconscious (and the little guy down there) thought they were way out of my (our?) class.
Both were many, many years ago, and both were with the 2 sexiest, most beautiful women I've ever been with.
My only explanation is, perhaps (rather than describing it as anxiety) I was just intimidated by them.
I've always been pretty much an average guy - including my looks - and maybe my subconscious (and the little guy down there) thought they were way out of my (our?) class.
I don't have a problem one on one but in a party or a 4some I think it's the distraction of watching the other action in the room that causes the problem with me. When I know I am going to a party or we are meeting a couple, I take generic Cialis I order on-line. I can take it hours ahead (works better that way) and can get hard just from a touch later on. Where I order it's cheap and works like a dream so why not.....LOL.
COPAN54 wrote:
I don't have a problem one on one but in a party or a 4some I think it's the distraction of watching the other action in the room that causes the problem with me. When I know I am going to a party or we are meeting a couple, I take generic Cialis I order on-line. I can take it hours ahead (works better that way) and can get hard just from a touch later on. Where I order it's cheap and works like a dream so why not.....LOL.
Where do you order this?
Just type in Canadian Meds .com and there are about a hundred of them. i get about 20 per day trying to sell them to me
You will find "Canadian Meds" are most likely Indian meds! Never order from an email sent to you out of the blue!!!!!! There are good trusted sites and they don't operate like that. I searched for the top rated one before I ever placed an order. Send me an email for the place I order from!
This just happen to me last weekend, and I was devested, have been going over everything in my mind as to what might of had happen. 1. The other couple were nudist and meet us at the door totally nude to start with, (I am a real panty man and it's a big turn on when a Lady is in panties). 2. I went into there hot tub for a long time and the water was at 104* and the room was very hot also. 3. this was are frist time with a couple and was worried about my Lady seeing me with another Lady. 4. I am 63 years old and they were 10 years younger. 5. I am a big guy (6' 295#)and her husband wasn't. 6. her husband was hung a little bigger then I was. 7. Her husband told my Lady he has been hard for her ever since the first time he seen her several week before. It still is really getting to me as I can't get over filling like a dud.
When we got home I was able to do my Lady twice and get a BJ before going to sleep that night.
When we got home I was able to do my Lady twice and get a BJ before going to sleep that night.
Same room sex is hard on the males more then the females for performance !!!! In our experiences its not often that all 4 people are horny at the same time thats why we like seperate rooms have sex when your ready some people click sooner then others ... Just because your spouse is having sex and your not right at that moment doesnt mean you dont love each other !!!! The only time I have a issue with performance is when im in a crowd my man hood doesnt like crowds !!! LOL
................Jimmy...............
................Jimmy...............
Must.Resist.Smartass.Response.To.Shy.Dicks.
xox
Tammy
p.s. but for the record, I am completely enjoying the flashback.
Just sayin.
xox
Tammy
p.s. but for the record, I am completely enjoying the flashback.
Just sayin.