Ok it has happened to us all. We get up In the morning and try to check our mailbox to see what surprises may Lie inside, and you get the usuall message. \"Wow your wife has Sexy tits. id love to cum on them\", or \"Can we do a GB I have a friend I could bring\". You might have never even talked to these people before and still get the message. But then i sat down and thought about it.. What are all of us really on here inthe first place for? (To find a sexual partner or partners) Right? So It makes you wonder.. Was this a compliment showing interest, or just some Rude person who was never raised with any class, and respect? So what does everyone think. Is respect needed? Or should it be takin as a compliment?:!
both, BUT it is still mainly rude!!!
You know infact We have heard About alot of pushy guys, and I think it comes from those Bad Apples that we speek off. But dont get us wrong we have met some pushy women too.lol
You\'re exactly right, there are a lot of rude or crude people in the world and the lifestyle is no exception. If you find that most of your crude mail is coming from one segment of the lifestyle than you might want to consider blocking those people from emailing you. I don\'t want to bash any segment or group of people but in our case we found that most of the crude email and advances came from the single guys. We just simply block them from view our profile or sending us email ( if we can , depending on the site). That has worked well. It\'s stopped 99.99% of all that sort of email.
You\'re exactly right, there are a lot of rude or crude people in the world and the lifestyle is no exception. If you find that most of your crude mail is coming from one segment of the lifestyle than you might want to consider blocking those people from emailing you. I don\'t want to bash any segment or group of people but in our case we found that most of the crude email and advances came from the single guys. We just simply block them from view our profile or sending us email ( if we can , depending on the site). That has worked well. It\'s stopped 99.99% of all that sort of email.
The various points that have been made are well taken.
We have been approached by people who are rude or crass. Typically it is a single male, often married pretending to be single or the de facto single male -- half of a vanilla couple pretending to be a swinging couple.
I have several observations:
This single male is far more likely to be a trial member.
They have little or no real knowledge of swinging and it shows.
They don\'t expect to be invited to join the couple or single female they approach.
They simply find a cheap thrill in the crass sexaulity of the rude note they send.
(I suspect they type them with one hand.)
If given the oportunity (which their approach itself precludes) they would not play.
Don\'t confuse them with the polite & respectful single males that are a part of swinging.
We jokingly refer to them as hard-ons. They think because they once had a hard on -- they are qualified to swing. My FAVORITES are the ones that will \"let you watch\" or \"don\'t mind if you joins in\" as if somehow by their offer alone -- Belinda becomes theirs.
You will see them at the clubs. Somehow they come up with the courage to go to a swingers club that allows single males. They are the males that hide in a corner too afraid to approach anyone or they are the males that come into the room with attitude written all over them -- as if saying \"I paid my fees -- who do I get to fuck\".
If he is found out, the male half of the vanilla couple will stamp and stammer and claim that either he has his wife\'s permission or that she is cold and he is not getting any at home. Given their approach to sex. I have figured out, at least in part, why they are not getting any at home.
I was raised by a very southern, very polite, Daughters of the Confederacy -- mother. Thus I had to endure the suffering born of numerous catillions or formal dances. Everyone knew everyone at the dances. Everyone knew that everyone was there to dance. But you went through the rituals of an introduction and small talk -- prior to dancing. While this analogy ignores the aspects of friendship that are a part of swinging. I have found that the manners I learned at my mothers knee have served me well in swinging. (Don\'t ya know that would shock the hell out of her!)
We have been approached by people who are rude or crass. Typically it is a single male, often married pretending to be single or the de facto single male -- half of a vanilla couple pretending to be a swinging couple.
I have several observations:
This single male is far more likely to be a trial member.
They have little or no real knowledge of swinging and it shows.
They don\'t expect to be invited to join the couple or single female they approach.
They simply find a cheap thrill in the crass sexaulity of the rude note they send.
(I suspect they type them with one hand.)
If given the oportunity (which their approach itself precludes) they would not play.
Don\'t confuse them with the polite & respectful single males that are a part of swinging.
We jokingly refer to them as hard-ons. They think because they once had a hard on -- they are qualified to swing. My FAVORITES are the ones that will \"let you watch\" or \"don\'t mind if you joins in\" as if somehow by their offer alone -- Belinda becomes theirs.
You will see them at the clubs. Somehow they come up with the courage to go to a swingers club that allows single males. They are the males that hide in a corner too afraid to approach anyone or they are the males that come into the room with attitude written all over them -- as if saying \"I paid my fees -- who do I get to fuck\".
If he is found out, the male half of the vanilla couple will stamp and stammer and claim that either he has his wife\'s permission or that she is cold and he is not getting any at home. Given their approach to sex. I have figured out, at least in part, why they are not getting any at home.
I was raised by a very southern, very polite, Daughters of the Confederacy -- mother. Thus I had to endure the suffering born of numerous catillions or formal dances. Everyone knew everyone at the dances. Everyone knew that everyone was there to dance. But you went through the rituals of an introduction and small talk -- prior to dancing. While this analogy ignores the aspects of friendship that are a part of swinging. I have found that the manners I learned at my mothers knee have served me well in swinging. (Don\'t ya know that would shock the hell out of her!)
I agree with FITZNBELINDA. I have been involved in this lifestyle on and off over the last 6 years and have come to the same conclusions. There are a lot of Rude, crass singles males, but the singles males that have been involved in this lifestyle are can be very polite and respectful because they understand the limits of what they offer.
Granted those comments are compliments, but they are given in a degrading, disrespectful way. This lifestyle is not a meat market where venders are hocking sexual favors. It\'s a lifestyle of normal people that are focused on fantasies and pleasure and safety. Things like courteous and respect should not be lost or taken lightly.
Chris
Granted those comments are compliments, but they are given in a degrading, disrespectful way. This lifestyle is not a meat market where venders are hocking sexual favors. It\'s a lifestyle of normal people that are focused on fantasies and pleasure and safety. Things like courteous and respect should not be lost or taken lightly.
Chris
we agree with you FITZNBELINDA that it is very rude to make comments of that nature
it\'s RUDE!
and we find that to be unacceptable behavior
what has happened to respect, manners and just plain common curtisy
we where raised better
and we find that to be unacceptable behavior
what has happened to respect, manners and just plain common curtisy
we where raised better
another GREAT Sex in the City type Topic. I will say that for me it\'s all about respect to both. I\'m sure you have all been in a chat room or two and if there are web cams on for all to see as soon as a women or cpl gets on cam the males in the room come out of the wood work. Begging and pleading and just being RUDE. I think some women like a man to be confident but not rude or cocky.
Anyway get thread good to get us thinking about it and as for me, not rude to others my Grandmother would KICK MY ASS!!
Anyway get thread good to get us thinking about it and as for me, not rude to others my Grandmother would KICK MY ASS!!
Yes, and then there\'s our watershed encounter via email, where a guy asked us lots of things and then after looking at our photos (which were there all along) said \"your pretty sexy for a fat chick\"
You upset os or are rude at this point, there\'s no way we will meet, but again like it\'s been posted beofre, lots of these guys are just getting thier jollies via email (It\'s easy to be brave with a keyboard)
Art and Daw(Hi guys..hugs!)
You upset os or are rude at this point, there\'s no way we will meet, but again like it\'s been posted beofre, lots of these guys are just getting thier jollies via email (It\'s easy to be brave with a keyboard)
Art and Daw(Hi guys..hugs!)
Single male strikes again! lol
If we ever got rude replies like that, we just delete the mail, they arent worth our time. You have to have some common decency and repsect. A nice introduction with your name and an polite \'We\'d like to get together, how about we meet....\' will always gain more points.
We don\'t get much mail anyway, so we havent had to encounter it that much. But those messages we have gotten out of the blue are usually more rude then polite.
We find that the polite approach at the swingers club always wins us over and the single guys who just start touching, usually turn us off. Being cordial and you will get more
We don\'t get much mail anyway, so we havent had to encounter it that much. But those messages we have gotten out of the blue are usually more rude then polite.
We find that the polite approach at the swingers club always wins us over and the single guys who just start touching, usually turn us off. Being cordial and you will get more
Manners are paramount. Although I have to admit that we have run in to a few couples who were equally as rude as their solo male counterparts.
The single men that we have developed exceptional relationships with understood from the beginning that we expected them to behave like gentlemen when spending time with us, but we as a couple also understand that it is EQUALLY important to treat them with respect and show our appreciation to them. Respect is a two way street.
When we receive a letter that contains vulgarity of some kind, we simply delete it. There are methods on this website to determine if mail that has been sent by one person has been read by the receipient. When they check, and find that it (their letter) was simply deleted and not replied to, they get the idea.
On the other hand, we have replied favorably to many letters, and met some of those single men in person to share an evening together. Word gets around, beleive me. On more than one occassion, we have heard from a single friend that someone that we \"rejected\" doubts our authenticity as a couple, or something else equally stupid. They are the same ones who in some cases tend to be the ones who like to believe that they are being unfairly persecuted by couples in the lifestyle.
The GENTLEMAN that understand how things really work usually end up meeting nice couples who in turn introduce them to other couples. They become the IN singles. You know, the ones who are passed around from couple to couple because they are TRUSTED and RESPECTED by others? They get to play often. Isnt it often about who you know?
So listen guys, take a note from your single bretheren who are getting laid on a regular basis. They must be doing something right...we know one who gets laid anytime he desires at our house. There are PLENTY of nice PEOPLE out there! Couples and singles! Screw the ones who are rude...there are far to many fish in the sea.
Luvbugs!
The single men that we have developed exceptional relationships with understood from the beginning that we expected them to behave like gentlemen when spending time with us, but we as a couple also understand that it is EQUALLY important to treat them with respect and show our appreciation to them. Respect is a two way street.
When we receive a letter that contains vulgarity of some kind, we simply delete it. There are methods on this website to determine if mail that has been sent by one person has been read by the receipient. When they check, and find that it (their letter) was simply deleted and not replied to, they get the idea.
On the other hand, we have replied favorably to many letters, and met some of those single men in person to share an evening together. Word gets around, beleive me. On more than one occassion, we have heard from a single friend that someone that we \"rejected\" doubts our authenticity as a couple, or something else equally stupid. They are the same ones who in some cases tend to be the ones who like to believe that they are being unfairly persecuted by couples in the lifestyle.
The GENTLEMAN that understand how things really work usually end up meeting nice couples who in turn introduce them to other couples. They become the IN singles. You know, the ones who are passed around from couple to couple because they are TRUSTED and RESPECTED by others? They get to play often. Isnt it often about who you know?
So listen guys, take a note from your single bretheren who are getting laid on a regular basis. They must be doing something right...we know one who gets laid anytime he desires at our house. There are PLENTY of nice PEOPLE out there! Couples and singles! Screw the ones who are rude...there are far to many fish in the sea.
Luvbugs!
Manners are manners, and politeness takes all forms. Jack Nicholson used to say a little something to his actress counterparts before any love scene, to paraphrase Jack, \"I would like to say I am sorry ahead of time if I get an erection during our scene, and I would like even more to apologize if I don\'t\".
There are those who get offended so easily by the fact that somebody thinks they are hot and wants to come on their face, and there are those (you have seen the threads) that are pissed off because nobody has emailed them saying they wanna come on their face. So, whattya do?
My approach is one of very light pressure, but on more than one occasion, that has been taken as not being interested, and it is just me being \"respectful\".
Lifestylers as a collective group are more open about sexuality, some are just more blunt than others, but, let\'s face it folks, if you are the thin skinned type, you are gonna have plenty of problems and issues to deal with. We get a ton of compliments from single guys, and we have that stated VERY clearly on our profile, that we are not into that. Do we get pissed, no; in fact we take it as they think they she is so hot they cannot resist. If we were looking for a guy though, it would be the ones that have not contacted us, and have shown respect.
Anyhow, perception is always key, and getting upset hurts you more than the person who upset you, do not waste your emotions on anger towards people who cannot put together an intelligent thought, or take subtle hints, or cannot read the bold letters NO SINGLE MEN, instead pity them for they are unfortunate ones. And have very little chances of meeting someone, and are not smart enough to change their approach.
Again, we apologize for being so wordy---and i am sure that everybody is sick of reading our posts, but dammit, we can\'t help it, so deal with it
There are those who get offended so easily by the fact that somebody thinks they are hot and wants to come on their face, and there are those (you have seen the threads) that are pissed off because nobody has emailed them saying they wanna come on their face. So, whattya do?
My approach is one of very light pressure, but on more than one occasion, that has been taken as not being interested, and it is just me being \"respectful\".
Lifestylers as a collective group are more open about sexuality, some are just more blunt than others, but, let\'s face it folks, if you are the thin skinned type, you are gonna have plenty of problems and issues to deal with. We get a ton of compliments from single guys, and we have that stated VERY clearly on our profile, that we are not into that. Do we get pissed, no; in fact we take it as they think they she is so hot they cannot resist. If we were looking for a guy though, it would be the ones that have not contacted us, and have shown respect.
Anyhow, perception is always key, and getting upset hurts you more than the person who upset you, do not waste your emotions on anger towards people who cannot put together an intelligent thought, or take subtle hints, or cannot read the bold letters NO SINGLE MEN, instead pity them for they are unfortunate ones. And have very little chances of meeting someone, and are not smart enough to change their approach.
Again, we apologize for being so wordy---and i am sure that everybody is sick of reading our posts, but dammit, we can\'t help it, so deal with it
Well, we\'d like to add to our post (first off it was written in a hurry and we are embarrassed at the number of typos, sorry about that!):s
We have had our rude expierinces from couples as with two exceptions we have not delt with single men. Couples can be just as bad or worse and the only one we blocked out of the two sites we are on is a woman from a couple who was cyber stalking us...wouldn\'t take no for an answer.
We apply the same rules of meeting people here as we would in the rest of our lives, we just take it further when and if the time comes...
Art and DAwn
We have had our rude expierinces from couples as with two exceptions we have not delt with single men. Couples can be just as bad or worse and the only one we blocked out of the two sites we are on is a woman from a couple who was cyber stalking us...wouldn\'t take no for an answer.
We apply the same rules of meeting people here as we would in the rest of our lives, we just take it further when and if the time comes...
Art and DAwn
I have to say in regards to the original post that I would consider those very rude messages to send, completely out of line.
That said, I would also like to get a few opinions on something. Would you consider it rude for a single guy, after looking at someone\'s profile, to send them a message statating that they have some very sexy photos posted, or that she is very beautiful and has a fanstatic figure?
I personally don\'t think that is rude, but really would like to get some opinions on that..
-Peter
That said, I would also like to get a few opinions on something. Would you consider it rude for a single guy, after looking at someone\'s profile, to send them a message statating that they have some very sexy photos posted, or that she is very beautiful and has a fanstatic figure?
I personally don\'t think that is rude, but really would like to get some opinions on that..
-Peter