Ok... We recently (accidentally) overheard a conversation between three "newbie" couples. Earlier, we had talked to them and during the conversation had briefly mentioned our personal ideas about "Friendships" vs. "Notches on the Bedpost". (We're Pro-Friendship). We explained that we have many friends in the Lifestyle that we have never played with - as (we believe) most Swingers do. (?)
Anyway, during the course of the later (overheard) conversation we heard from two different participants the comment (and I quote), "I don't CARE if you LIKE me, Just F**k me and I don't care if I never see you again."
At first, we were annoyed with this attitude. Then somewhat amused. Now we're just curious... about how many "Seasoned" Swingers have this "You don't have to like me - Just let me F**k you" attitude... and how exactly that works? (We figure that if we don't like someone, why in the world would we share ourselves THAT PERSONALLY with them?) HOWEVER, we realize that not everyone thinks like we do and that there are a lot of different attitudes and feelings about the Lifestyle... and we're really curious now! Please share YOUR TAKE on this? We're not looking for validation on our own Lifestyle Ideas and Values (we don't need it), but we DO have Inquiring Minds and we're interested... No Judgments... Just Pure, Simple Curiosity......
Anyway, during the course of the later (overheard) conversation we heard from two different participants the comment (and I quote), "I don't CARE if you LIKE me, Just F**k me and I don't care if I never see you again."
At first, we were annoyed with this attitude. Then somewhat amused. Now we're just curious... about how many "Seasoned" Swingers have this "You don't have to like me - Just let me F**k you" attitude... and how exactly that works? (We figure that if we don't like someone, why in the world would we share ourselves THAT PERSONALLY with them?) HOWEVER, we realize that not everyone thinks like we do and that there are a lot of different attitudes and feelings about the Lifestyle... and we're really curious now! Please share YOUR TAKE on this? We're not looking for validation on our own Lifestyle Ideas and Values (we don't need it), but we DO have Inquiring Minds and we're interested... No Judgments... Just Pure, Simple Curiosity......
I don't think when the term "different strokes for different folks" (pun intended) was coined they were talking about swinging though as with many things in the lifestyle there is a width and breathe of preference as varied as the number of individuals and couples that choose to explore. Our tastes tend to lean towards a belief that if we can't converse over dinner or at least a few glasses of wine then we probably wouldn't be compatible on other levels. That being said we can see the appeal of just getting down to business. The wonderful thing is that with 7 billion people overpopulating the planet chances are that there are at least a few other people out there that enjoy the same loverly perversions as you. Stroke away!!!
I don't feel we have to become "bff's" with every couple we play with, but as like the others so far I have to at least like ya a little or there's no way the big O is gonna happen...Kisses...Naugh-Ty and Lucky
I don't know about other guys but I have to feel at least a little connection or I can't even get an erection, much less perform to any level of satisfaction. There is a lot to be said about holding a conversation with someone before getting down to business. I have met a few ladies and couples that I was nothing but a booty call and I am fine with that as long as we have some sort of conversation first.
We are not a "friends first" couple but the attraction has to be there personality-wise too. We totally agree about friendships in the lifestyle. We didn't enter it to make a bunch of new friends but wow, some of our best friends are swingers. What a great, unexpected benefit!
Most of the people we are friends with we have not fucked. For some the personality attraction is there, for others the physical... and we need both. We even have some friends that are physically attractive to us, have personalities that make us very good friends, yet the sexual chemistry just seems awkward for whatever reason.
Another odd observation of ours has been that a less physically attractive person becomes very attractive an fuckable with the right personality, but a very physically attractive person is sexually repulsive to us if they are an asshole.
We have probably slept with less than 10% of our close friends in the swing community. Everyone we did play with did not end up a friend but not because we didn't like them. Sometimes it's just a matter of not having time to build a relationship and friendship not being a pre-requisite for us.
I guess, long story short, for us to fuck you we need to like you, but just because we like you doesn't mean we will end up being friends... if any of that makes sense to anyone but us. lol.
-Glen
Most of the people we are friends with we have not fucked. For some the personality attraction is there, for others the physical... and we need both. We even have some friends that are physically attractive to us, have personalities that make us very good friends, yet the sexual chemistry just seems awkward for whatever reason.
Another odd observation of ours has been that a less physically attractive person becomes very attractive an fuckable with the right personality, but a very physically attractive person is sexually repulsive to us if they are an asshole.
We have probably slept with less than 10% of our close friends in the swing community. Everyone we did play with did not end up a friend but not because we didn't like them. Sometimes it's just a matter of not having time to build a relationship and friendship not being a pre-requisite for us.
I guess, long story short, for us to fuck you we need to like you, but just because we like you doesn't mean we will end up being friends... if any of that makes sense to anyone but us. lol.
-Glen
Well Put, Glen! Thank you! 
I am newer to the lifestyle, but part of what makes it so enjoyable to me is that I have made some really good friends, or so I feel. As GLEN mentioned above, I too have played with less than 10% of the people I talk with, which is cool, but have made so many awesome connections with people I could see myself (and do) do lots of things with, outside of the bedroom. A connection of some sort needs to totally be there for me. I could not see myself to up to someone at a bar and just say, "hey lets go fuck" either...can you??
LMAO!!!
The only scenario that I would enjoy fucking someone that didn't like me would be an angry, dominating, grudgefuck, and yes, anal sex would be involved...lol
NO! I have to have chemistry and a connection with my playmates. Otherwise, I feel like I just masturbated inside of someone.
NO! I have to have chemistry and a connection with my playmates. Otherwise, I feel like I just masturbated inside of someone.
I kinda like the idea of sex with a stranger. I wouldn't mind having some sexy girl come out of no where and fuck our brains out without really meeting the other person. If you don't know them, you can make them into anything. I think it would be hot to be guessing at who she was and where she came from. I could create anything for her, she could fill any fantasy role easily because I wouldn't know what/who she really was.
For the most part, I agree with everyone else, it's better to know them and like them if your going to go anywhere. But I think there is room for both!
P.S. send a message if you like the idea
For the most part, I agree with everyone else, it's better to know them and like them if your going to go anywhere. But I think there is room for both!
P.S. send a message if you like the idea
Well, they obviously don't have the right attitude. It is especially hard for me, being a single male, to earn the trust of a couple because a lot of single males have that attitude. They just wanna get laid and don't realize that they are the lucky ones if they are asked to join a couple for a fantasy or adventure. They should jump at the chance of friendship first and benefits later and should always remember, as I feel, that it is a priviledge and an honor to be asked to join in something so personal. Just sayin......
If someone, guy or girl, were to say that to me, they'd have my hand print on their face for a week.. talk about disrespectful.
Bren
Bren
Talk about everyone jumping on the bandwagon of having to be "BFF"s before enjoying sex with another couple. Having a quick dinner and drinks is one thing, but this whole notion that people don't fuck on the first date after just a brief 1 or 2 hr dinner is ridiculous. I know im taking this to an extreme, but the term "one night stand" is a bad thing in the vanilla world but in our world its perfectly acceptable to most if not all people in this lifestyle. How well do u really get to someone overa single dinner? I would venture to say the relationship does not run that deep... so whats the time requited not to get a slap across the face or get your ass kicked. 3 hrs, 5 hrs, 24 hrs, a week?? it seems to me and many others that i have spoken to that every situation is different and there are times that meeting a couple in the right setting with whom you may or may not have a super strong attraction to can be fun to just get down to business and fuck. im sure many wont agree, though its seen all the time at lifestyle events in vegas, on cruise ships, resorts etc.
"Talk about everyone jumping on the bandwagon of having to be "BFF"s before enjoying sex with another couple. Having a quick dinner and drinks is one thing, but this whole notion that people don't fuck on the first date after just a brief 1 or 2 hr dinner is ridiculous."
We have fucked people after only spending an hour or two with them. That's more than enough time to know if the physical, personality and sexual chemistry are there for us. The friend's thing is an added benefit.
Speaking of friends, I must say the hottest thing I have ever experienced is watching my vanilla best friend fuck Mikah. That was just too hot.
We have fucked people after only spending an hour or two with them. That's more than enough time to know if the physical, personality and sexual chemistry are there for us. The friend's thing is an added benefit.
Speaking of friends, I must say the hottest thing I have ever experienced is watching my vanilla best friend fuck Mikah. That was just too hot.
We have met many great friends whom we have not played. However, if we invite you over to our house, we know we like you well enough to play (superficially anyway). It's annoying to spend weeks or even months in the sniffing butts stage with a couple we are attracted to that say they are attracted to us only to have them camp out at our house until 3-4:00 in the morning and nothing.... We love to have sex. That is what swinging is about to us. We are BFFs to each other. Like I said, we like the friends we have made but,those relationships are coincidental to our quest for a good lay. We have alot of fantasies to play out and intend to act them out. After all, who on this site is getting younger? We may not rock everyones world but, we have energy and will guarranty our best efforts. We aim to please and to be pleased. If we don't wow you. The choice is yours weather we get another chance or not. We are a couple of dirty sluts.lol 
DAISIES wrote:
We have met many great friends whom we have not played. However, if we invite you over to our house, we know we like you well enough to play (superficially anyway). It's annoying to spend weeks or even months in the sniffing butts stage with a couple we are attracted to that say they are attracted to us only to have them camp out at our house until 3-4:00 in the morning and nothing.... We love to have sex. That is what swinging is about to us. We are BFFs to each other. Like I said, we like the friends we have made but,those relationships are coincidental to our quest for a good lay. We have alot of fantasies to play out and intend to act them out. After all, who on this site is getting younger? We may not rock everyones world but, we have energy and will guarranty our best efforts. We aim to please and to be pleased. If we don't wow you. The choice is yours weather we get another chance or not. We are a couple of dirty sluts.lol
That is funny. My wife is the same way, she gets antsy after an hour. Sometimes she will go to the restroom and come out naked, gets things moving rather fast.
ALLPLAY2010 wrote:
Talk about everyone jumping on the bandwagon of having to be "BFF"s before enjoying sex with another couple. Having a quick dinner and drinks is one thing, but this whole notion that people don't fuck on the first date after just a brief 1 or 2 hr dinner is ridiculous. I know im taking this to an extreme, but the term "one night stand" is a bad thing in the vanilla world but in our world its perfectly acceptable to most if not all people in this lifestyle. How well do u really get to someone overa single dinner? I would venture to say the relationship does not run that deep... so whats the time requited not to get a slap across the face or get your ass kicked. 3 hrs, 5 hrs, 24 hrs, a week?? it seems to me and many others that i have spoken to that every situation is different and there are times that meeting a couple in the right setting with whom you may or may not have a super strong attraction to can be fun to just get down to business and fuck. im sure many wont agree, though its seen all the time at lifestyle events in vegas, on cruise ships, resorts etc.
I really don't see that at all...most are just saying some sort of connection is nice...I even stated we don't have to be bff's...God knows we love a hot, get right to the action one stand sometimes...just not every time...that's just how I'm reading most posts anyway...Kisses...Naugh-Ty and Lucky
We like to say that if you don't have time to talk to us, you don't have time to fuck us; that wham-bam shit don't work with us and, like you or not, we want to get to know you a little.
Rob
Rob
to me I have already have a bff which is my wife, but if I make a few friends in the life style that would be great, but if a lady came up to me and said she wanted to fuck my brains out she wouldn't have to do it long..LOL..I don't have much left..haha...but I would be so turned on and would jump at the chance, I mean thats why we are in the life style is to have fun..
WOW! So many interesting, thoughtful and sexy insights! Thanks so much everyone! You're all FABULOUS!!!
Some of my best sexual moments are with someone I'd run over with a truck given half the chance. For the most part, I'm the same way, if you can't chill, hang out, or talk to me and show me interest then we are not going to fuck. But there a few select people that I absolutely detest as a person but for some reason the sex was always HOTT HOTT HOTT and mind blowing.
However, I keep those types of fucks to a minimum. My therapist already thinks I'm the best entertainment value around.
However, I keep those types of fucks to a minimum. My therapist already thinks I'm the best entertainment value around.
We agree with Daises to a large degree, while also agreeing with the other points made. However, we have made a lot of friends in the lifestyle that we see around at parties or clubs and have hung out with in the past and never played with. With our kids getting older and time getting more and more limited tho we do like to try to do most of the "scouting" here online and hope that we can establish an attraction that works and is enhanced in a short period of meeting for drinks, flirting and having casual conversation after meeting. The key is that it doesn't have to take all. An hour or two, sometimes even less, can establish a basic comfort level generally. Then we can all play and enjoy each other for the evening. It may be a one nighter, it may be that we talk more or become friends. But there is no pressure of an expectation after the fun of the evening.
We also don't mind meeting someone new at a club or bar and seeing a sexual attraction and moving right to fun, but part of that attraction will be very basic social skills as well as what you see, smell and feel etc! For example many women like guys that are confident or funny etc which may not come across online.
Anyway, you get the point!
We also don't mind meeting someone new at a club or bar and seeing a sexual attraction and moving right to fun, but part of that attraction will be very basic social skills as well as what you see, smell and feel etc! For example many women like guys that are confident or funny etc which may not come across online.
Anyway, you get the point!
Yeah, we didn't start swinging to make new friends. That just happens. We started swinging to play out some of each other's sexual fantasies together and stuff like that. Personally, folks who have to have "a relationship" to have good sex make us nervous. And we realize that we make folks who need a relationship to have good sex nervous too. And let's not even talk about the bunch that need a lot of booze and a relationship before they can get naked. Can you spell D-R-A-M-A? None for us, thanks!
We love that some of you are agreeing with us. Let us just say that we are very respectful of boundries. So, I hope we didn't give the impression that therre are always expectations. We just don't have alot of time to fiddle fart around. We love people and never treat them like objects. We don't mess too much with single guys not because we don't like the MFM thing but, because we don't like being flaked on. When we decide we have time to play, we really want to play. Please don't get all scared that we are going to be sitting on your face and cock slappiing you when you walk in the door. We understand the timing must be right and of course attraction is important. The long and the short of it is... our time is very valuable as is yours so, let's make the most of it. XOXO M&A
Well-said Daisies!
That was well said.
YOUHAVEJAWS wrote:
to me I have already have a bff which is my wife, but if I make a few friends in the life style that would be great, but if a lady came up to me and said she wanted to fuck my brains out she wouldn't have to do it long..LOL..I don't have much left..haha...but I would be so turned on and would jump at the chance, I mean thats why we are in the life style is to have fun..
I think there is a point here for me... as I get older if a hot women (take that as just about all women) came up to me and said lets fuck I would be all over that... but if I was to do the same thing to a women I would be wearing that week long hand print some hot babe mentioned earlier...
morally and legally in our society for quite awhile now women are the sole decision-makers when it comes to who does/does not have sex. that's just a fact. so men have become quite adapted to the "take it whenever it's offered" notion. we've been conditioned to the idea that we are "getting lucky" when we have sex...even with our own spouse. that women are doing us a favor by taking pleasure from our bodies. we are raised this way from birth and it has been this way for centuries. today it has gone to the extreme of children being sent to jail for chasing and kissing little girls on the playground and such nonsense.
then women wonder why all they have to do is wink at a guy or flip their hair to get him to jump in the sack. they wonder why they can't trust their husbands not to cheat when some other woman makes an advance. well, who can say no to good fortune? who says no thank you to the guy from publishers clearing house sweepstakes? very, very few people...that's who.
so you are absolutely right. we would usually get slapped if we propositioned a woman that way. and most of us would jump all up in it if we were propositioned that way - because we were lucky!
then women wonder why all they have to do is wink at a guy or flip their hair to get him to jump in the sack. they wonder why they can't trust their husbands not to cheat when some other woman makes an advance. well, who can say no to good fortune? who says no thank you to the guy from publishers clearing house sweepstakes? very, very few people...that's who.
so you are absolutely right. we would usually get slapped if we propositioned a woman that way. and most of us would jump all up in it if we were propositioned that way - because we were lucky!
I may be one of those unusual girls that if there is an attraction and I can tell there is good chemistry for all four of us, I will tell you what I want to do with you in fact I have done that and it has worked out very well for me
My hubby is pretty much the same way, although, like Mr. Trixee said, he can't say it exactly the same as I do. Every situation is different, everyone's comfort level is different.
We are very direct and our time is incredibly valuable, and we also feel like if there is an opportunity, we will "jump" on it, pun totally intended. And yes, we are kind, respectful and honest, and when I want something I will tell you
My hubby is pretty much the same way, although, like Mr. Trixee said, he can't say it exactly the same as I do. Every situation is different, everyone's comfort level is different.
We are very direct and our time is incredibly valuable, and we also feel like if there is an opportunity, we will "jump" on it, pun totally intended. And yes, we are kind, respectful and honest, and when I want something I will tell you
DAISIES wrote:
We love that some of you are agreeing with us. Let us just say that we are very respectful of boundries. So, I hope we didn't give the impression that therre are always expectations. We just don't have alot of time to fiddle fart around. We love people and never treat them like objects. We don't mess too much with single guys not because we don't like the MFM thing but, because we don't like being flaked on. When we decide we have time to play, we really want to play. Please don't get all scared that we are going to be sitting on your face and cock slappiing you when you walk in the door. We understand the timing must be right and of course attraction is important. The long and the short of it is... our time is very valuable as is yours so, let's make the most of it. XOXO M&A
I love that sentiment.
Hey not all single guys are flakes
I've been swinging for over 6 years and that's what I go by. I don't care if I like someone/get along with someone. I'm here to have some extra fun sexin times. I don't hafta know you beyond a few email exchanges. I don't hafta be friends with you. Friends with couples is a PLUS, but not required/necesary. I don't make friends with single males at all. They are a sex toy to enjoy for the night. I very rarely talk to them other than to say thanks for the great time. I've only invited someone for a repeat experience on two occasions. I think whatever works for you and makes you comfortable/happy is what you should do. The "I don't care if you like me, let's fuck" is what works for us.
MARSPIXIE wrote:
I don't think when the term "different strokes for different folks" (pun intended) was coined they were talking about swinging though as with many things in the lifestyle there is a width and breathe of preference as varied as the number of individuals and couples that choose to explore. Our tastes tend to lean towards a belief that if we can't converse over dinner or at least a few glasses of wine then we probably wouldn't be compatible on other levels. That being said we can see the appeal of just getting down to business. The wonderful thing is that with 7 billion people overpopulating the planet chances are that there are at least a few other people out there that enjoy the same loverly perversions as you. Stroke away!!!
MARSPIXIE, this is TOTALLY off the subject, but you brought something up in your post, and I'd like to add my $.02 as well as enlighten folks to the true meaning and origin of "Different strokes for different folks".
You're correct - when it was coined, they were NOT talking about Swinging.
Just as the Sixties brought us the British Invasion in music, the Seventies brought us the Japanese Invasion - only it had nothing to do with music.
The Seventies happens to be the decade when all the Japanese motorcycles first became available in the USA.
Honda, Kawasaki, Suzuki and Yamaha all hit the ground running and, naturally, they each came up with clever advertising slogans - Honda's just happened to be "You meet the nicest people on a Honda".
Like the other Japanese brands, Yamaha made both 2-stroke and 4-stroke cycle motorcycles.
For the most part, 2-stroke bikes were dirt/off road and 4-cycle bikes were street bikes, although there were exceptions and overlap.
(you already know where this is headed - don't you?)
So, Yamaha's clever advertising slogan, although only intended to apply to its motorcycles, has taken on a life of its own.
It was, simply - "Different strokes for different folks".
And as Paul Harvey was fond of saying, "now you know the rest of the story".
if the mood is right just go for it. we have
BLUEEYESINUTAH wrote:
Some of my best sexual moments are with someone I'd run over with a truck given half the chance. For the most part, I'm the same way, if you can't chill, hang out, or talk to me and show me interest then we are not going to fuck. But there a few select people that I absolutely detest as a person but for some reason the sex was always HOTT HOTT HOTT and mind blowing. However, I keep those types of fucks to a minimum. My therapist already thinks I'm the best entertainment value around.
The best sex is usually with a person you can't stand, because is heated, and passionate. That is all hate is really passion!
For us, honestly, it can go either way. Before we invite someone over to our house, we have usually at least spoken to them online or on the phone. That way you know if there is some kind of chemistry. We don't have to spend hours trying to entertain each other just to get in bed. I consider myself a very good judge of character and don't let just anyone into my vagina. 
)
That being said, there have been times when we met people for drinks and just didn't click sexually. We might have had a few good laughs but for some reason the urge just wasn't there. Sometimes, one of the partners of the couple wasn't right, while the other one was. My husband and I have an agreement. If it seems like one of us won't be having fun, then we don't do it.
There are times, however, when we are just looking for a good hard NSA fuck. Those are the nights you might find us at a club or when we go to Hedo. We always leave the blinds and the door open to our room to allow others to come in and watch or come in and join in the fun, no questions asked. Same thing at the clubs some nights. We will find a nice public spot and open up for business.
Friends are great, but they aren't a requirement. What determines it for us is the arena. We are not going to invite someone to our home that we can't even have a conversation with, but occassionally when we are out, no words need be spoken other than a quick look and a yes or no!
)That being said, there have been times when we met people for drinks and just didn't click sexually. We might have had a few good laughs but for some reason the urge just wasn't there. Sometimes, one of the partners of the couple wasn't right, while the other one was. My husband and I have an agreement. If it seems like one of us won't be having fun, then we don't do it.
There are times, however, when we are just looking for a good hard NSA fuck. Those are the nights you might find us at a club or when we go to Hedo. We always leave the blinds and the door open to our room to allow others to come in and watch or come in and join in the fun, no questions asked. Same thing at the clubs some nights. We will find a nice public spot and open up for business.
Friends are great, but they aren't a requirement. What determines it for us is the arena. We are not going to invite someone to our home that we can't even have a conversation with, but occassionally when we are out, no words need be spoken other than a quick look and a yes or no!