My husband and I are new to the swinging lifestyle and I am nervous about other people touching my husband. I have played with a female before and he is ok with it but don't think atleast at this point I couldn't watch him have complete sex with another person. Is it unfair that I don't want him to have sex with anyone else even though I get to play with another female. I don't mind voyerism or if he touches and goes down on another girl just no penatration.
The good news is that you two have complete freedom to choose whatever works best for the both of you.
If for the moment, you are not comfortable with him engaging in intercourse with another female, then you get to set up ground rules between the two of you that you both feel comfortable about regarding that issue.
You can always modify what it is that you both want and don't want, especially after having accumulated some experience.
As long as you are both in agreement about why it is that you are here, and willing to engage in, you will have a fabulous time.
After all, it's supposed to be all about the FUN!
J
If for the moment, you are not comfortable with him engaging in intercourse with another female, then you get to set up ground rules between the two of you that you both feel comfortable about regarding that issue.
You can always modify what it is that you both want and don't want, especially after having accumulated some experience.
As long as you are both in agreement about why it is that you are here, and willing to engage in, you will have a fabulous time.
After all, it's supposed to be all about the FUN!
J
We dont believe there is a right or wrong. Each couple have individual boundries. Whatever you two choose as fair or what you decide that your rules are is truly your call. Don't forget, this lifestyle is to keep the spark alive with communication and trust, not to develop problems. Above all your relationship takes priority. Take it slow, maybe you will think differently down the road. If not, stay where you are comfortable. Hope this helps...
Everyone has their own sets of rules, and it sounds like your's are pretty straight forward.
If he is allowed to play with the other female, and you are allowed to play with the other guy, but no one is allowed intercourse it is generally referred to as "soft swap". Those who allow intercourse are "full swap".
But there is plenty of variety in each category. Your profile looks like you have pretty well laid out the ground rules, so I really don't see where you would be leading anyone on.
Basically, it's your fun, do what you enjoy as long as you don't harm anyone else in the process.
If he is allowed to play with the other female, and you are allowed to play with the other guy, but no one is allowed intercourse it is generally referred to as "soft swap". Those who allow intercourse are "full swap".
But there is plenty of variety in each category. Your profile looks like you have pretty well laid out the ground rules, so I really don't see where you would be leading anyone on.
Basically, it's your fun, do what you enjoy as long as you don't harm anyone else in the process.
It all depends on what youre both comfortable with and open to. My hubby &i only play with the ladies, for example..we dont engage with couples at all..or single men..thats our preference. Also at the moment we're mainly looking for girl on girl, but we have had FMF'S in the past and my hubby has engaged orally with the third female party, we currently have toned down what we will do, mostly FFM'S where hubby mainly plays with me, and the other woman plays with me. This may seem a bit selfish on my part but we have [i]both[i]agreed to this and have our reasons, and its not jealousy either..its just what we're comfortable with at the moment.
Basically decide among the two of you what you're comfortable with and what the boundaries are, if any. Then go for it! You dont have to explain yourself to anyone, we're all here for different preferences and swing styles &thats perfectly okay. **Hope this helped!
Basically decide among the two of you what you're comfortable with and what the boundaries are, if any. Then go for it! You dont have to explain yourself to anyone, we're all here for different preferences and swing styles &thats perfectly okay. **Hope this helped!
I'm in total agreement with everything that's been said, but I would like to add one thing:
ALWAYS make certain anyone you're going to play with knows your ground rules and limitations well BEFORE you actually begin to play.
Surprises can be fun, but not when they negatively impact someone.
ALWAYS make certain anyone you're going to play with knows your ground rules and limitations well BEFORE you actually begin to play.
Surprises can be fun, but not when they negatively impact someone.
Thank you thank you thank you for posting this thread.
My current boyfriend and I keep talking about this and we STILL have yet to act on it and participate together in this even tho we BOTH have profiles here on Swingular. I'm slightly frustrated. He says he has issues with seeing another man touch me and is afraid he'd go postal if he had to watch one actually fuck me. However, me with another girl is still a possibility. Or so he says. Like I said, we still haven't done it since we got back together a few months ago.
Oh don't mind that thumping sound. That's just me banging my head on the wall. ~sigh~
xox
Tammy
My current boyfriend and I keep talking about this and we STILL have yet to act on it and participate together in this even tho we BOTH have profiles here on Swingular. I'm slightly frustrated. He says he has issues with seeing another man touch me and is afraid he'd go postal if he had to watch one actually fuck me. However, me with another girl is still a possibility. Or so he says. Like I said, we still haven't done it since we got back together a few months ago.
Oh don't mind that thumping sound. That's just me banging my head on the wall. ~sigh~
xox
Tammy
Great thread with some great comments. We can totally relate to the feelings posted, especially from those who are semi struggling with what is comfortable . . . but as has been said, this is about us! This is about communicating expectations, indulging in fantasy and imagination, and above all else enhancing our own relationship with one another. We follow a simple guideline. If it enhances our lives, our relationship, our sense of sensuality and sexuality, then we talk about it and if it is possible, we act on it.