Stolen from another post. But I did not want to hijack that thread. But this all got me thinking.
We are still trying to figure out the something, someone and some party for us. Been on this site for 2 months, attended parties and such and more confused now then ever about what to do, who to hang with and what parties to attend (and how to get invited).
I have seen a lot of cliques. Which is fine for the cliques. And I personally have become dead set against single males standing around watching myself. It just seems heavy and unwelcoming for new members like us. Maybe after we get to know more people, become friends with a lot of people.
But as it is it seems very unfriendly out there. Not everyting has to be sex. Not everything has to be clique-ish. Yet that is what I am finding. Maybe I just have not found the clique I, we fit in with. Maybe the summer breeds a different kind of energy.
I don't know. I am just too damn green. All I know is I would like to have fun, make friends, feel comfortible. Not everything has to be about sex. But this lifestyle sure could be a hell of a lot sexier. Cliques are ugly, far from sexy. But then again, so is the drunk guy trying to paw at my girl because he thinks that because she is at the party that she is fair game.
We don't know what the right things to do are. Who to contact. How to go about getting the most out of this site and this lifestyle. I keep wondering if anyone we have met would be a good mentor. Keep us on the straight and narrow, teach us what is ok and what is frowned down on. Or just have a starter pack of info.
I have read a lot of what the Admin has posted. Yet I still feel like I, we are fucking up here and there. For example we are in Wendover this weekend keeping a friend company at her slot tourny (boring as hell for me) and I have no idea what there is to do here for a nightlife. Then I read these things about Vegas and Red Rooster and Green Door and have no idea where these places are, what is required to get in, what is expected of us once we get there.
So what should new couples do? What should the Ken and Barbies do, the not so K and Bs do, the so not so K and Bs?
I see more in the advice from the Admin about how single males should handle themselves and what single males should expect then anything else. I can understand that, from my brief experiences.
However we, as a couple are stumbling through these first 2-3 months experiencing more frustratiion then anything. Not looking for anyone to hold my hand and wipe my ass for me. But can you please pass the toilet paper?
It seems either you know someone or you know nobody. The one person I know is too busy learning this lifestyle herself.
Half the time I, we have contemplated just canceling our account and not coming back. It is better to not know what you are missing then to be frustrated by not knowing how to fill the void of what is missing.
Mike
THOUGHTGARDEN wrote:ABCMAN wrote:Indeed.... One of the wonderful things about the Lifestyle is the great diversity; there is always something/someone/someparty for everyone
Personally, I'm glad that couples like Ross and Vickie (Fantasyers), Rob & Kate (swingular), Debbie and Lang (UtahUncensored) and Mr & Mrs Recon can put parties on like this for the participants of the lifestyle.
We are still trying to figure out the something, someone and some party for us. Been on this site for 2 months, attended parties and such and more confused now then ever about what to do, who to hang with and what parties to attend (and how to get invited).
I have seen a lot of cliques. Which is fine for the cliques. And I personally have become dead set against single males standing around watching myself. It just seems heavy and unwelcoming for new members like us. Maybe after we get to know more people, become friends with a lot of people.
But as it is it seems very unfriendly out there. Not everyting has to be sex. Not everything has to be clique-ish. Yet that is what I am finding. Maybe I just have not found the clique I, we fit in with. Maybe the summer breeds a different kind of energy.
I don't know. I am just too damn green. All I know is I would like to have fun, make friends, feel comfortible. Not everything has to be about sex. But this lifestyle sure could be a hell of a lot sexier. Cliques are ugly, far from sexy. But then again, so is the drunk guy trying to paw at my girl because he thinks that because she is at the party that she is fair game.
We don't know what the right things to do are. Who to contact. How to go about getting the most out of this site and this lifestyle. I keep wondering if anyone we have met would be a good mentor. Keep us on the straight and narrow, teach us what is ok and what is frowned down on. Or just have a starter pack of info.
I have read a lot of what the Admin has posted. Yet I still feel like I, we are fucking up here and there. For example we are in Wendover this weekend keeping a friend company at her slot tourny (boring as hell for me) and I have no idea what there is to do here for a nightlife. Then I read these things about Vegas and Red Rooster and Green Door and have no idea where these places are, what is required to get in, what is expected of us once we get there.
So what should new couples do? What should the Ken and Barbies do, the not so K and Bs do, the so not so K and Bs?
I see more in the advice from the Admin about how single males should handle themselves and what single males should expect then anything else. I can understand that, from my brief experiences.
However we, as a couple are stumbling through these first 2-3 months experiencing more frustratiion then anything. Not looking for anyone to hold my hand and wipe my ass for me. But can you please pass the toilet paper?
It seems either you know someone or you know nobody. The one person I know is too busy learning this lifestyle herself.
Half the time I, we have contemplated just canceling our account and not coming back. It is better to not know what you are missing then to be frustrated by not knowing how to fill the void of what is missing.
Mike
Mike, we feel the same way sometimes.... We've been on this site for about 2 years now. Every once in a while we feel that there all out for sex. Where not into for the wam bam thank you ma'ams... But it seems we have met alot like that. We know were not perfect, but we would like to meet new friends to hang out with not only for sex...Don't get me wrong sex is great, but it doesn't have to be all that it's about every time....
C & J
C & J
MikeandTia,
Two months is nothing in this lifestyle especially if you are truly here to make friends and not just have hook ups. Friendships take time to create and evolve, you will meet people through other people which will also open your circle of friends. You have to put yourself out there, with no expectations. We have only been to one party and have to travel two hours to Salt Lake, where most things are held, but we have made a lot of connections and have a lot of friends. Give it time...and work on it. Be social in the chat room, READ peoples profiles and send emails before you send a friend request stating why you are interested in them, continue to post on the forums. You have to work to make friends, don't just expect them to fall into your lap.
And about other places off the site, like the Green door, Red Rooster or even Habits in Salt Lake...ask around...look for posts about those things, google it for God sakes! No one held our hands the first time we went to the Green door. We heard about it on Playboy radio and decided to go. We didn't know ANYONE who had ever been there, and wasn't on this site or any others at the time. We googled it and found info from their site and asked questions when we got there. Again, just put yourself out there and go for it.
I'm not trying to be bitchy, just saying that the less expectations you have, the more fun you will have. That way when you do meet great people, have amazing sex, start wonderful friendships or get invited to the best party of the year...it is just an amazing bonus that you now have in your life.
Two months is nothing in this lifestyle especially if you are truly here to make friends and not just have hook ups. Friendships take time to create and evolve, you will meet people through other people which will also open your circle of friends. You have to put yourself out there, with no expectations. We have only been to one party and have to travel two hours to Salt Lake, where most things are held, but we have made a lot of connections and have a lot of friends. Give it time...and work on it. Be social in the chat room, READ peoples profiles and send emails before you send a friend request stating why you are interested in them, continue to post on the forums. You have to work to make friends, don't just expect them to fall into your lap.
And about other places off the site, like the Green door, Red Rooster or even Habits in Salt Lake...ask around...look for posts about those things, google it for God sakes! No one held our hands the first time we went to the Green door. We heard about it on Playboy radio and decided to go. We didn't know ANYONE who had ever been there, and wasn't on this site or any others at the time. We googled it and found info from their site and asked questions when we got there. Again, just put yourself out there and go for it.
I'm not trying to be bitchy, just saying that the less expectations you have, the more fun you will have. That way when you do meet great people, have amazing sex, start wonderful friendships or get invited to the best party of the year...it is just an amazing bonus that you now have in your life.
PUBLICINTOX wrote:
just saying that the less expectations you have, the more fun you will have. That way when you do meet great people, have amazing sex, start wonderful friendships or get invited to the best party of the year...it is just an amazing bonus that you now have in your life.
Well-said...this is supposed to be fun! High expectations typically means taking the whole experience too seriously. Be patient, and you'll find the perfect circle that works for you guys.
J
I have found that I have had the most fun in the lifestyle when it isn't about sex, and is first about making friendships, and then enjoying ones company after-wards. When ones friends share the same ideas, hobbies, or talents as you, it makes the lifestyle a lot more enjoyable.
We feel pretty lucky to have met a lot of people and we have made solid friendships with the people we have met so far, and they are definitely friends with EXCELLENT benefits. We have gone to some amazing parties and are on chat pretty often, hey even I (the Mrs.) put on a show the other night just for fun! Used to do it quite often, but the atmosphere of the chat room has changed a little bit.
But we also feel as if we have no idea what we are doing and have been doing this a while. Now don't get me wrong, the friendships are a huge bonus, and they are great playmates too! But you have to admit that playing is a huge aspect of this, and meeting new people to play with. We have tried the exclusive partnership but we know that we enjoy the variety.
Sometimes you just want to play and that seems to be the most difficult aspect to plan for and unfortunately yes we need to plan, you know the kid/sitter thing, etc...kind of sends the prospect of spontaneity go out the door, and I am sure that is the same for most everyone on here. We have tried the booty call, and lets just say it hasn't ever paid off...We don't really see ourselves as a "featured member." We don't want to necessarily advertise ourselves.
For the most part we find this "lifestyle" very fulfilling. So I guess my question would be how do you increase your opportunities for new friendships and playmates?
But we also feel as if we have no idea what we are doing and have been doing this a while. Now don't get me wrong, the friendships are a huge bonus, and they are great playmates too! But you have to admit that playing is a huge aspect of this, and meeting new people to play with. We have tried the exclusive partnership but we know that we enjoy the variety.
Sometimes you just want to play and that seems to be the most difficult aspect to plan for and unfortunately yes we need to plan, you know the kid/sitter thing, etc...kind of sends the prospect of spontaneity go out the door, and I am sure that is the same for most everyone on here. We have tried the booty call, and lets just say it hasn't ever paid off...We don't really see ourselves as a "featured member." We don't want to necessarily advertise ourselves.
For the most part we find this "lifestyle" very fulfilling. So I guess my question would be how do you increase your opportunities for new friendships and playmates?