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Translating Personals/Swingers Ads - - HOW TO TRANSLATE PERSONAL ADS:
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish...................................49
Adventurer...........................Slept with all your friends
Athletic................................No boobs
Average looking...................Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful...............................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..............................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure...............Medicated
Feminist...............................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit............................Junkie
Friendship first.....................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................................Annoying
Gentle..................................Comatose
Good Listener......................Borderline Autistic
New-Age............................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......................Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded......................Desperate
Outgoing..............................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.....................................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..........................Certified Bitch
Redhead...............................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque........................Grossly Fat
Romantic..............................Looks better by candle light
Social...................................Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous...........................Very Fat
Height/weight proportional....Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...................Stalker
Widow.................................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. ....................Old bat
--------
MEN'S ADS
40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking......................Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit..............................Banging your sister
Friendship first.......................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun........................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.........................Arrogant
Very good looking..................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Pathological Liar
Huggable................................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle.......................Insecure mama's boy
Mature...................................Older than your father
Open-minded.........................Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................................Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive.................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.........................Gay
Spiritual..................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.....................................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful...............................Says "Excuse me" when he farts
Swinger & 🦄 Bait - An experiment to attract swingers and unicorns. - Follow our LS-lite / SLC Nightlife / EDM Insta feed @EDM.Lyfe
How to find other swingers - - This has been discussed before, however we never weighed in so it is new to us! LoL.
Over the years, we have seen a number of pendants and charms designed to identify swingers through out the internet. They ranged from the elaborately ornate, to the swap meet 10k gold overlay variety. I have yet to meet a "swinger" who owned one.
Luvbugs! (mR.) :)
Oh yeah, P.S.
If you really want to meet "swingers" I would suggest the internet. It sounds entirely too good to be true to me, but I have heard that there are MILLIONS of 'em on the internet.
Rumor has it that they congregate together in large online groups where they share pictures, stories, and sometimes...even get together for crazy group sex. I know, it sounds crazy...but I would look in to it if I were you. *wink* ;)
Christian Swingers - - CYN,
That's why I said "show me one widely accepted, modern, religion that condones "swinging". "
In my opinion, the FLDS is not a widely accepted religion, I do however agree with everything else.
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - My experiance,I think it has to do more with that label that we as a married cpl put on single guys.... I think that (by my experiance) 75 to 80% of the single guys are pushy....
example: I blocked a single guy not too long ago because he was obnocxious on his e-mails... well he got my yahoo screenname from a group discussion post and IM'd me today.... now with a diferent approche.... he was so dumb as to tell me, "for some reason you have me blocked... I can't see your profile or your pics".... that was it... hello if you are blocked on the site that means I don't want to talk to you.... tahdah... blocked again on another site...
Some guys just don't get the hint and keep pushing, that is why WE don't care for single guys... our time is precious and to waist it on someone like that... no use...
Now, I know that for SOME (not all) it is a racial thing... for SOME it might be the reports of the CDC or just the screename like one of the cpls mentioned... I think everyone has their own reason as to why NOT wanting to play with single men.
To each their own but I think they should be more polite on letting the guy know why, unlike my self calling him a stupid fucker for trying again... That is just my humble opinion...lol
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - wife in gemini...husband is leo
ogden meet and great - - It seems having it in a "closed off" area just invites scrutiny. Look at habits, its not private but they had meet and greets there for years. You can have one at any bar, just a group of friends out for the evening and then if you do run into someone and they say "there are swingers here..." you just go really? where? lol
Log in Issue - I am not a robot - Yeah, if I didn't think it was ALL about Swingular trying to block any apps that they don't own I wouldn't worry about it that much (or whine apparently). But it's laughable that anyone would seriously think they're doing it to protect security on the site...at least as far as preventing hordes of unscrupulous spammers and/or Russian identity thieves from taking advantage of swingers. It wasn't all that long ago that you could Google your screen name and get directly into the site.
But as long as I'm whining I'd LOVE it if Swingular would, like most other MODERN internet sites, block people from sending identical spammed e-mails to multiple members. It's not that hard to do. I know that might harsh the buzz of a few single dudes who are just too darned busy to personalize an e-mail to a specific couple and find the shotgun approach a far simpler way to get their brand out there (or at least shoot for a sexual ROI of 1% or so). At very least it would be cool if Swingular would (like a paid fitness site I'm on) have a little counter at the bottom of the page that tells me how many other members received an identical e-mail from the same person writing me. Of course other sites just save me the trouble and automatically send spammed e-mails directly to a separate spam folder. [em]Emo_96[/em]
Long Weekend - Just wondering what people have planned - Is Fantasy Swingers Club new? Looks like we will need to check it out the next time we're down there.
Creating an Amazing Swingers Profile - How to market yourself better - Shit! We aren't verified. We are totally screwed. ;)
I'd like to add that an effort to capitalize and punctuate is greatly appreciated. If you can spell, that's just an added bonus. If you know the difference between to, too and two and your and you're the Mrs. gets a hard-on. Just sayin'. Shit. I think I spelled that wrong.
~The Mrs.
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