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What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

Black Rings - Do Swingers really? - We heard Garden Gnomes are a sign of swingers …. Hmm I wonder if any of our neighbors suspect anything hehe.

Forum Community - EVERYONE!! - HEY WHATS UP WITH EVERYBODY ? MY NAME IS FREAKY KITTY . AND I LOVE MAKING NEW FRIENDS . SO IF ANYONE WANTS TO SAY HI PLEASE DO SO I ONLY BITE WHEN TURN ON . NORMALLY ON SAT NIGHTS WE ARE AT PLEASURE PALACE . IF ANYONE EVER WANTS TO GO LET US KNOW . WE HAVE 3 KIDS AND VERY BUSY RUNNING A AUCTION SITE FOR SEXY CLOTHES AND STUFF SO WE DONT GET OUT MUCH . WE TELL EVERYBODY THAT WANTS TO HANG OUT WITH US TO COME UP TO THE CLUB . SINCE WE DO ADV IN BODY PAINTS FOR PEOPLES WEB SITES AND SWINGERS GROUPS WE TAKE ALOT OF PICS . BUT ANYONE THAT WANTS TO HANG OUT DOESNT HAVE TO DO PICS . SO IF UARE CAM SHY THATS OK TO . BUT WE WOULD LOVE TO FIND MORE PEOPLE LIKE US . WE TAKE ALOT OF PICS . AND NOW TRYING TO MAKE THE TIME AND GET SOME FRIENDS TOG TO MAKE SOME MOVIES . WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR A GOOD PLACE TO TAKE SOME GOOD PICS AT . SO IF U KNOW OF A PLACE THAT WOULD BE GOOD PLEAASE LET US KNOW .WE WOULD LIKE TO FIND SOMEONE WITH A CAR/BIKE SHOP TO DO SOME PICS IN . I WOULD DO FREE ADV AND PICS FOR THEM IN RETURN OF LETTING ME TAKE SOME NAUGHTY PICS AT THIER SHOP ..... NAUGHTY DREAMS FREAKY KITTY

How Do you Find Out - Question about Friends - Also listen to the language they use. We have picked out other swingers by how they talk..

couples more [oft ] ask for couples or single females. why is th - - We havent had a lot of experience with single males or single females....or 3somes all together, really......however, the one time that we did show interest in a single male for my pleasure (Mrs. Stitch typen) we had a really bad experience in finding one that was honest with why he was in this lifestyle all together. When we found a male we were interested in and we met up for some fun...the fun happened and after we found out the truth of his reality...and that was that his WIFE didnt put out at all, and he was really a married man with 3 small children looken for sex without strings. NOw the "sex without strings" thing is not what bothered me, however, the wife and 3 small children thing bothered me a great deal for very long time after that night. We (hubby and I) were both really upset by it, and wasnt looken for an experience that contributed to someone getting really hurt, and lied to. Sad thing is, we still see him lingering on the websites for swingers and being quite active in the lifestyle. I realize that just the bad actions of one single male doesnt mean that all single males are the same.....we also realize that there are probably some single women that are also cheating as well. After that bad experience we both decided that if we wanted a 3some experience it would have to be with ppl that we knew and trusted and really knew their life story. We decided that we wanted to just meet some fun couples and stick with married, stable couples that are looking for the same fun as we are. We dont ever want to contribute to breaking up a marriage and hurting someone else, we just want to have fun!!!

Another Swingers Show on TV - - It is ch. 261 on DirecTV. there are two episodes airing on Saturday the 21st, one and 7pm, the other following at 8pm.

BD/SM- Why are there no groups? - - Hello! I have never started a discussion form topic before (btw-this is Dana not Terry) so please be forgiving of me. Anyways, I have a question. I was looking for groups on this site that are into the BD/SM L.S. I know there are other websites that cover this interest, however I know of many swingers who are also into the "darker delights" such as myself. But I have found none on this site (as far as I know) that cover this subject/interest. So is there any groups that cover this topic that I can join, or if not, would anybody be interested in starting such a group on this site?I know this subject can be a little more touchy than other LS related issues. I also understand that people who partcipate in these activties would want their activties kept private. So if you don't feel comfortable posting here, please feel free to send me a private e-mail. Thank You and have a wonderful day![em]Emo_49[/em] Dana

West Jordan Utah???? - - West Jor DEN of Eniquity. I have always wondered how many swingers I am seeing at Target and Walmart on Sundays.

Paper or Plastic? - - Republican swingers...go figure that one out, sort of like jumbo shrimp...