North Garden Swingers in Virginia

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Physical Attributes vs. Personality - How important is being H/W proportional - I suppose it all depends on what your angle is. If you are looking for friends, physical apperaence might not be an issue. Maybe some are looking for friends and if they swing, so be it. Others are looking for swingers and if they become friends it is icing on the cake.

I Have A Question - Poly vs. Open - [quote=PAIRPLAYERS][quote=EVILDOERS]Thanks for the responses so far. I thought of a couple of additional questions. Are you seeking, finding and connecting with other open/poly people here on Swingular or are you finding people thru other means? Also, do you find that most of the people you connect with are single or are they in their own primary relationships? Does it matter much to you if they are single or coupled?[/quote] Great question. Almost exclusively non swinger community singles surprisingly. Have tried amongst the swingers but they seem to have a very quid pro quo mentality. [/quote] Yes, they do! We noticed that dynamic almost immediately when we first entered the lifestyle and were actually talking about it just today in the context of no quid pro quo being a distinct positive in the column of open or poly lifestyles vs. swinging. SO many times when I was even just TALKING to a woman her partner or husband would basically go grab Ms. Evil, no matter what she was doing or who she was talking to, and assume it was perfectly okay to just do more or less whatever he wanted. After all, I was doing something/anything with HIS partner! Wow! Great responses everyone. SO informative! Thank-you.

Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - Posted By: XPLORR94248 Reply posted on: Nov 10, 2007 - 12:11 pm Poly people generally take issue with swinging as be strictly recreational SEX! and no love where as poly, supposedly, is love based not necessarily any sex....but sex usually is involved at some level. The attitude is that swinging is not a good thing that swinging is diametrically opposed to poly. So while there are some similarities in swinging and poly in that more and more swingers are looking for relationships, i.e., "friends with benefits" ; "Friends in and out of the bedroom". These friendships are based on attraction and sex after the attraction. Poly people take the concept that poly is based on loving someone and if sex happens then OK, but that love is the key and sex is at best secondary. I would say that swinging (full swap, soft swap) IS recreational sex. It ISN'T about falling in love with someone. That poly people would think swinging is bad because it is diametrically opposed to poly doesn't surprise me one bit. Kinda like me being a Grand Dragon of the KKK thinking that people who even can think of having a relationship with a black person are sick in the head. To a poly person, the only difference between them and a "normal" person is that they have more than one person with whom they have love in the relationship. "Normal" people also think spouse swapping is a bad idea too. Again, no surprise. I would say that swinging and poly have only one similarity and that is that they are having sex with somebody that they are not legally married to and the spouse is fine with it. Beyond that, I don't see the similarities.

What if??? - Some body's worst night mare. - My worst nightmare involves spiders and rollercoasters. Not really much to do with swingers and/or my parents. :p

Can you be in love AND swing? If so, tell us how! - - The only way any relationship works is mutual respect/love/caring/communication. It doesn't matter if it's a marriage, LTR, or any other possible configuration. As proof I would submit that 60+ to 70+ percentage of marriages, both first and second, fail in the "normal" world. Also in poles taken, 60 to 70% of all married people or people in relationships have had relationships outside of marriage without their partner's knowledge.....i.e., "CHEATING". Swingers can hardly cheat, although it sometimes happens... Divorce in the swinging community is about one quarter of that in the "normal" community. I would submit that the reason for this is a. the partners respect and love and trust each other as no other group does. b. the need or want to cheat is virtually eliminated... c. communication needed for the trust and the ability to work thru hard relationship problems is in place and working well d. RESPECT for each other as individuals is greatly enhanced. Jealousy is part fear and part possessivness... Fear of loosing, fear that someone is better, fear that they are inadequate.. and many more fears are basiclly absent. And possessivness is not possible if you and your wife or SO are sharing yourself with others. One thing about swinging.... If your relationship is good, communications are good and your sex life is good .....Swinging might very well work for you, as a couple. If there are any problems, fix them first or stay out of swinging... A good relationship will generall be enhanced by swinging. A relationship with problems will generally magnify problems introduce problems and ultimately cause devistation in that relationship. You life coach has their head where the sun doesn't shine...and knows not of what he spake... Amen

Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - I am gonna suggest Pleasluvmybigdick as a new name.. BTW you seem like a nice guy and I dont know why people hate on you but since you asked about potential problems I figured my two cents was as good as the next...

Swingers dying out? - Is the utah swinger community dying or becoming to needy? - Ok, This is going to insult an awful lot of people. You

Single male in this lifestyle.. - I have questions for couples and single females. - [quote=jv666playful]sorry Evildoers but stupid people get my goat [/quote] Look, I hear where you're coming from. But I sort of know this guy. Never actually met him, but there was some, I guess you could say, interaction through emails. And he sort of screwed something up, kind of embarrassed me with someone else, and pissed me off. For a minute. And the reason it was only for a minute (the fact that she thought it wasn't a big thing helped, I'll admit) was that he'd made an honest, but sort of clueless, mistake. And that he really wasn't aware that not doing what you say you're going to, and not letting anyone know until the very last minute when you could have let them know a lot sooner, is a much bigger thing here than it is in the vanilla world. But now he does know, and I'd be amazed if he ever did anything like that again. And my read on him is that he isn't stupid, just ignorant, a basically nice guy trying to figure out how to navigate in an unknown territory. And yeah, this is a topic that keeps coming up. But you know what? I suspect that the guys that bring it up are actually serious about the lifestyle, and that the ones who try it and find out it wasn't the "all the girls want to fuck" scene they thought it would be just shrug their shoulders and go back to the bars. I I suspect that a lot of swingers didn't get into it until they were a couple. And I also suspect that they might not realize what it's like for a single guy, if he's one that isn't just trying to find a quick and easy way to get laid. Believe it or not, not all of them are. Me, it's a case of been there, done that. Back when "free love" was all the rage, before Herpes, AIDS, or any other really serious STD, when any guy who couldn't go out on just about any Friday night and end up in bed with some girl had to be either the Hunchback of Notre Dame or a complete and total asshole,I was a single male in the lifestyle. I sure as Hell wasn't trying to find an easy way to get laid, in those days it didn't take much of an effort at all. And you'd think swinging was easier then, with sex being such a casual, no big deal, thing. But it was actually even harder and more complicated. As Evil said, it was called wife swapping, and it was a seriously bad thing as far as society was concerned. Swinger functions, like Sinful Saturdays, Risquee Soiree stuff, Meet n Greets? No way, Jose. There were only private, invite only, parties. There wasn't any internet, if someone was silly enough to try to set something like that up and advertise in the papers (the only avenue available then), no paper was going to take the ad. Everything was word of mouth, and that word pretty much only went to couples. It was actually dangerous. There were cases (not a lot, thankfully, but some) of the local police somehow finding out about a wife swapping party, raiding it, and hitting everyone there with morals charges. Which could even cost people their jobs. That was in the '70s, it did start to sort of loosen up in the '80s, which is when I left the country and the scene, but it was still more complicated than it is today, with no internet and everything word of mouth and single men by invitation only. So why did I bother, when sex was so damned easy to find everywhere? I LIKED these people, that's why. They were ignoring what everyone thought they should or shouldn't do, and were doing what they thought was right for them. Which is how I've believed, since I was maybe 15, that everyone should be. Point being, not all single males are JUST trying to get laid. So if someone comes along who takes the time and effort to ask how he can navigate what are some pretty treacherous waters, I think he deserves to be treated as if he's serious, just a little clueless, and not be ridiculed for it. Hell, even Evil, who's quicker than anyone I know to jump on utter stupidity with both feet, and ridicule the Hell out of it, gave the guy a break and some good, if blatant and not sugar coated, advice.

Seems Pointless - Seems Pointless - [quote=FunKinkyDuo][quote=Defiantstranger]Great responses. But my point is, that IF users aren’t allowing single males to message… why does the site even show the users who won’t allow them to communicate? Why not limit the search results to users who are able to be communicated with?[/quote] Because it’s a Swinger site … not designed for single males. But who knows, that might change given the number of single guys trolling on Singular.[/quote] Interesting. Hadn’t thought about it in those terms. Decided to look up the literal term. Swingers: a person who takes part in group sex or exchanging sexual partners.

Swinger & 🦄 Bait - An experiment to attract swingers and unicorns. - [quote=1SEXYCOUPLE4U269]Color me stupid but the only part that made sense to us is the unicorn. Still don't understand the lucky charms or the pineapple [/quote] Maybe they're into midget sex...okay, technically leprechaun sex. No judgments. [em]Emo_66[/em]