Nellysford Swingers in Virginia

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Single Males - - [quote=CTA313][quote=EVILDOERS] ...get a girl to join you....Not only do you now "bring more to the table", but you have the added credibility that if you can find and finesse a girl into joining you in this little adventure we call swinging (whether it be a girlfriend, a wife, a second cousin twice removed, or just a hot fwb) you might just not be a giant douchecopter.[/quote] Ignoring the need to "finesse" someone and unhealthy gender stereotypes in general, this line of reasoning is a little troubling as it presumes that a male's company is inherently worth less. Or that an absence of semi-romantic relationships somehow speaks poorly of his character. I personally think approaching someone whom you aren't already fairly close with and soliciting to go to a swingers party is a bit out of line. Especially if her company is sought as an accessory to demonstrate to others that he is not, as you say, “a douchecopter”. Call me old-fashioned. [quote=EVILDOERS] I know we can't be the only people who secretly wonder just a little bit about some single guys and why they aren't with somebody. Do they secretly hate women (yes, we've met some that actually do), are they just too lazy (or busy, maybe...but hey, we're all busy) to find someone, are they serial killers and/or just not very nice guys? [/quote] Oh, I hope you are! That's a really unfortunate outlook to have. Promising relationships take time to find, let alone build to the requisite amount of trust and stability to try things like this. In the mean time, I don't see anything wrong with someone pursuing their interests while still holding out for someone worthy of their emotional investment. To me, that behavior is quite attractive should be respected! It doesn't get any better than someone who is confident, self-actualized, and motivated to pursue their desires. Sadly, it sounds their gender influences whether this is seen as a desirable trait. I'm not sure how long you've been out of things (30 years?), but it's easy to forget the struggle when you're comfortable in a marriage. Things are more fluid. People don't feel the need to settle down like they used to. [quote=EVILDOERS]I know many will say they've tried and swinging is a deal breaker for most women. After almost 3 decades in the swinging trenches meeting and talking to other people, both couples and singles, we would disagree....many, if not most, women could eventually come around to the idea of swinging once they feel safe and secure in a relationship.[/quote] This is just confirmation bias if the evidence comes from a sample of people you have met while swinging. [quote=EVILDOERS]...those of us who DID put in all the blood, sweat, and tears into a relationship and allow it to grow to the point of daring (don't think for a second we aren't risking a LOT in opening up our relationships to other people!) to allow others access to our significant other sometimes wonder why some others want to take a shortcut to all the sweet swinging bennies with little or no risk on their own part.[/quote] If you're not comfortable sharing your wife with someone you might view as a potential competition, you definitely don't have to. On the other hand, there are a lot of people enjoy it :) This smacks of the old “you must suffer as I did” chestnut. [/quote] Yes, I agree, "finesse" was a poor choice of words. In my defense, I was at work and rather in a hurry to make a point...that apparently I didn't make well (and my attempts to also be humorous apparently fell flat too). Rereading my post it does smack a little of mild gender bias but I can assure you that it wasn't my intent in any way and most certainly is not my outlook on women, relationships or life in general. My intent was simply to advocate approaching swinging as a mutually desirable activity that two partners desire and share equally in. And not that it matters, but I've shared my wife with probably over a hundred men, married and single, and I've never thought of any of them as competition. But I never thought of swinging as "sharing" my wife either, but instead as her deciding to be sexual with another person and me being totally okay with her decision to do so. Sharing her, to me, almost denotes some sort of ownership or at very least some kind of permission that I would have to give. Both those ideas are not a part of our relationship. Perhaps the concept of "competition" in swinging interactions is a single male attitude? I don't know. And I didn't mean it in any way, shape, or form as a "you must suffer as I did" trope but simply as the idea that we invested a LOT of hard work and time making our marriage what it is and together deciding to risk opening it up to the excitement and also the possibility of harm that is swinging. I think, perhaps, that sometimes single people in the lifestyle don't quite understand the very real possibility of permanent damage (or worse) to the relationship that couples who swing are flirting with. For many (most?) of us, our marriages/relationships are THE most precious thing we have. What, if anything, are you risking? A bruised ego?

Bob's Burgers... - ....Lifestyle Friendly? :P - Anyone watch Bob's Burgers? I'm in love with that show (and just about any other show its creators come up with) and find it absolutely great that they have episodes about swinging. I forget the context of the first one, but Bob and his wife were at a party and were propositioned by another couple. Last Sunday as all about Bob's in-laws who live in a retirement villa place in FL but are going to be kicked out because its for swingers only and they hadn't participated. Anywho... just had to mention it. Love that show!

swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - BTW reason i have not responded to some of u losers is some of us REAL people have job and friends enjoy have a good day

How much is too much - The right protocol? - I would think that there are a few issues here. 1. If you haven't talked or chatted with any of these folks you've sent a fr to, or at least sent a message along with the fr, they may just delete it. That's what we do. 2. If they do approve in these cases, they could just be doing it so they can go in and view your private pics then delete the friend and then you can't view theirs. Kinda chickenshit in my opinion. 3. You age could be hinder some to take you seriously as swingers because I have noticed that although everyone likes young women, some feel that the younger couples are not mature enough to be swingers. Anyway you look at it, it might serve you well to chat with some people a bit before sending requests. And if they don't like you, fuck em'. Give us a shout and we will be your friends. :)

North Ogden Police - Need a fitness program - I'm not really sure what you mean about "swingers constantly say(ing) they are not treated equally". And I don't think anyone really had an issue with what he posted as far as necessarily disagreeing with his views. Although to be honest I'm pretty certain it was a fair bit of hyperbole. I think they, perhaps somewhat ineloquently, took issue with him posting something on a swingsite that perhaps would have been better posted on the North Ogden City website or maybe on the KSL.com news hotline. And then of course RUSTY (the l'il scamp) took issue with them taking issue and as he is often wont to do made it a personal attack. And me being EVIL I just sat back and laughed at his self immolation. I apologize. Now on the other hand, calling RUSTY a gentleman...well, that's just uncalled for! I'm jest a funnin' ya man. Let's all go over ta Miss Kitty's an I'll buy ya both a nice cold sasparilla and we can talk about fat cops and equality for swingers. We should totally boycott Conference next week until they make a swinger a G.A.. [em]Emo_84[/em]

Bingham city swingers? - Hey. I’m in the area - Hi, I am working in the Bingham area and was wondering if any others couple or single female are in the area and want to meet up?

Being Stood Up - Sucks to be stood up - If our grandparents were swingers they would keep their word. It is too bad we are not in the WWII generation when people kept their word and you could make a deal on a handshake.

Friend collectors or swingers - - I would like to meet up with a couple, I want try the swinging lifestyle with my wife, but I need someone to reach out to me first, so I can introduce it to the wife. She would be down, but it would have to be an exmo related connection. I'd like to try and set it up for her and I.

Honesty? Really? - Posers/Liars - Oh my...SUCH paranoia! Does not everyone wish to advertise themselves in the best and most attractive way possible (at least MOST)? Is it truly THAT hard to give the benefit of the doubt? Personally, my experience has been that NOT everyone is out to lie, or even malicisouly mislead others who may peruse their profiles. Seriously people, it's not some grand conspiracy against those who may consider themselves "above par" from the common swinger-folk. Even those that might come across as being the most critical of others, and who consider themselves the "creme de la creme" of the Swinging community, are not immune to even the smallest of imperfections. It is unfortunate that many that are the quickest to point out "flaws" in others...would seemingly have plenty of "flaws" themselves, in the eyes of onlookers of course (beauty/non-beauty will always remain in the eye of the beholder). NOBODY is without these so-called "flaws". Here are just a few examples of what I have personally witnessed being balked at AND often possessed by those that balk, during the course of my journey in swinging.... -Stretchmarks (gained perhaps through puberty, pregnancy, breast-feeding, working out, weight gain, etc.) -Moles -Asymmetrical bodies (so-called perfect symmetry does NOT occur naturally, not even surgically is it possible) -Skin blemishes -Errant hairs growing unknown on unseen parts of the body -Birthmarks -Skin discolorations -Premature aging of the hands and neck areas -Unsightly cuticles and/or nailbeds -Man-hands (on women) -Feminine hands (on men) -Hobbitesque feet -Cankles -Crooked smiles -Yellow teeth -Green teeth -Unattractive gums (gingivitis) -Crooked teeth -Unsightly gaps in the teeth -Psoriasis -Eczema -Dimples (yes...in perhaps all four cheeks) -Cottage cheese (yes...virtually everyone manifests this when sitting, squatting etc. to some extent, perhaps unknown the them. Sorry, it's just the nature of fat; even the leanest of people have a thin layer of fat that can pucker in the right position) -Inverted nipples -Crow's feet -Spider veins -Varicosities -Breasts that have lost the battle with gravity -Poor breast augmentation -Beer bellies -Love handles -Double chins -Halitosis -Funky body chemistry manifesting as an unpleasant odor -Smegma -Dandruff -Obesity -Over weight -Under weight -Too many bony prominences Ok...I think that's fairly comprehensive and you get my point. Obviously, Swingular is not going to put a categorized "yes/no" checklist as comprehensive as this...even though the most discriminate of Swingers may expect it. There are many different ways to be unique AND "attractive" (and of course "unattractive" as well). Basic Psychology might suggest that the way that we view others, whether we find beauty or ugliness, is simply a reflection of how we feel and what we view ourselves to be, and of course, speaks clearly to our relationship with ourselves. Honesty is a completely subjective phenomenon, and those that share honestly about themselves may be viewed as being dishonest by those who are expecting or fearing to be mislead. Please don't think for a moment that I am pointing out what I either like or dislike; many of these I actually adore and find quite charming. Personally, I think it's the uniqueness of everyone's body and body habituses that add to the overall attraction and uniqueness of every individual. Finally, please don't consider this a personal attack on the originators of this thread, or any of those who have shared their personal tastes in partners thus far. All are entitled to their opinions. Peace.... ~J

Are we really as judgmental as vanilla people? - - [quote=THOUGHTGARDEN]Are some people perhaps confusing "judgemental" with "selective"?[/quote] Right - some people seem to think that because we are swingers we have sex with anyone and therefore they view a rejection as a personal snub. I think they forget that "just not that into you" applies as much in swinging as vanilla relationships.