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How close is too close - - I think that the question poses a number of possibilities... If only one person is starting to feel something beyond sexual attraction then that person should step back and examine why they are feeling this way. If it is only one way then the person who is having the feelings needs to take stock of the reality of the situation and realize the potential problems involved. If the situation is mutual and noone else realizes it then the two involved need to discuss it... and they both have to weigh the situation. Why is this happening and are the possible ramifications worth the risks involved... If it is possible talk about it with everyone concerned and make a determination as to what needs to be done. I've actually heard about a situation where a couple split over a swinging situation and the lady from the one couple went with the guy from the other couple and the gal from the other couple went with the husband of the woman that went with her husband.. A real twist on the concept of swapping....
Being poly may put a totally different slant on how I look at this problem... since I am involved with a married woman. My wife and her husband are not poly... The other couple are not swingers and we are very good friend as couples... and everyone knows about she and I. It's very difficult to explain to anyone how this works but it does and it can..... So I have a unique perspective on love and swinging... or just married people and love between non married people in married situations.
I would generally say, however, that swingers should not get into love situations unless you and your mate and the other couple can handle this situation.. If a love relationship starts to happen run don't walk to the nearest exit and don't turn around.
Just possibilities .. There are quite a few poly people involved iin swinging...including some of the older people entering into swinging... They are looking to expand their sexual and love relationships as well. THere are also younger people in the lifestyle who are poly.. The subject has come up a surprising number of times of various swinger sites...
So if you're not poly and start to feel love for someone other than you mate... Assess you first as to why... but regardless, if you love your mate....get away fromo that particular situation...
Ray
What is it to being a swinger couple - Is it always this way - When you hook up with a couple, you are hooking up to the part of their life they in general want to keep secrete. They don't want you as friends that will filter into their everyday normal life. And there is always times where you know the other couple are great people, but the sex just was not that good. Most all sex is fun, but some sex is way better. You have to be able to sep real life friends and sex friends, its not often they mix well. People have their family, jobs and life in general to protect and don't want you close to any of it or should I say will risk having you close to it. It's not personal, it's reality and swinging is fantacy and you were a booty call. If you find true friends, generally the playing stops. You don't want to risk true friends for a quick piece of bootie. We see swingers who seem to have play friends that work, but if we see them a year later. It has almost always chaged for some reason. So relax, have fun and move on. There will be couples you do not want a play date with again too. :)
How to get Girl on GIRL...solo??? - trying to find that elusive, no drama, chick - I'll chime-in reiterating what other have said. First, the reason these single females disappear, never meeting you is because they are horny guys playing online games and looking at pictures to get-off.
Second, we agree with Thoughtgarden 100%. EVERY FMF we've had came from the most unexpected place when we weren't even looking at the moment. These are women we met at non-swinger parties, night clubs, etc.
I think this is because for the most part, unlike single guys, single women are not actively pursuing threesomes and moresomes. Single women are not creating the number of profiles on swingers sites like single men. If they happen, great. If they don't, that's okay too. It's now that they aren't interested, they're just not out there pursuing it on a daily basis.
A couple of suggestions:
1) Look everywhere. Remember when you used to go out to clubs by yourself or with a friend when you were single and you'd meet someone? Same thing, except now you're doing it as a couple. Instead of boy picking-up girl, or girl picking-up guy, it's now couple picking-up girl. You are BOTH dating her, not just one of you.
2) Couples is a good place to start, even if you are not interested in full swap right now. Going to the meet and greets and getting to know people and them getting to know you helps. You may find a couple that is okay with playing solo and would love to fulfill your fantasy with wifey playing with you two. But, if you don't get out there and get known to people you'll never find them.
Good luck! And keep trying. We were in the lifestyle as a full swap couple for quite a while before our first FMF, and it literally came-out of thin air when we were least expecting it.
Interesting Last or Maiden Names - Names to remember people by - I knew a mechanic by the name of Dick Peters his wifes name was Sharon. They would have been great swingers...well her anyway. LOL
Secret Swingers Club Ogden, UT - Clubs - Unspoken by the Lucky slice it has a ghost on the door. The LS friendly night is Friday.
Secret facebook group for SLC? - - We recently joined a secret FB group for swingers with lots of super nice and sexy people. However it appears that most members, at least the active ones, are in Ogden which is bit far for us. Are there any secret FB groups for swingers for SLC?
is it true about swingular??????????????????? - - We will ask that question on the Aug the 16th (Swingular) is coming to Club Elite and parting with all the Tampa Bay Area Swingers....should be a Hot Time.
Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - http://www.fallujah.us/videos/
There are only a few examples of what our loved ones have been putting up with over there. Makes me wanna hug everyone of those beautiful bastards over there.
an example from the link above:
http://www.fallujah.us/videos/Fighting%20in%20Mosul%2002.mov
Can anyone else provide any? Hey if you look in this video you'll notice some are still in there PT Gear... this indicates they are in a defensive position and were attacked while some where on personal time. Think about that while you're sitting on your couch. Damn!!!
D&T
New Relationships - - Yep. Swinging is couples centric. If there weren't couples what would swinging even be? Hooking up. But there are plenty of couples who also like to add the occasional single to the mix. Hell, some even play that way exclusively. As far as single swingers meeting each other to form relationships (if I'm reading you correctly) that's a much tougher row to hoe. We've seen a few singles become couples over the years but they're in the minority unfortunately. The lifestyle is a tough place to date and find love for many reasons. Many couples WILL give you more than a casual look if you indeed have a regular play partner that you can bring to add to the mix. Otherwise you'll just kind of have to resign yourself to the plight of a single guy in the lifestyle. Sorry, life isn't always fair.
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