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Swingers gone bad?? - - Just a thought here...
Compare this to another post about women being drugged at parties...
In both situations you are giving another human being a substance to reduce or remove any ability to say no to unwanted sexual advances.
Rape is rape no matter if it is an adult/adult rape or adult/child rape. And if someone is too drunk/high/drugged to consent and the person continues, it's rape.
To those thinking it's kind of cool, wrong. For an adult who is by their age, in a position of power to abuse that power and sexually assault another is not cool.
It's illegal, it's immoral and it's flat out disgusting.
Playing Alone - - Couples all have different rules. Many categorically refuse to play alone with ANYONE ever. This is their "security" place. They feel comfortable in the place where they can see each other and "protect" if necessary. It takes some people a long time to get passed this.
It's kind of a 'control' thing leftover from the vanilla life. I'm not saying it's bad, good or indifferent it's just the way it is. Some people take longer to get passed their histories as vanillas than others. As they progress and get more comfortable with themselves, the lifestyle, their partners then they will slowly open up and begin to trust a bit more.
Don't take it personally, that's the key. Many people still hang on to their vanilla background that their partners are their most 'valued' possession. I liken it to my $450 deep sea fishing reel. Sure I'll loan it to someone to use if I'm on the boat with them and can make sure they're taking care of it. Is there anyone I'd just let 'borrow' it out right for the day or weekend? Not a chance in hell.
It takes time to let go of that 'she's/he's mine' get feeling. I think my wife and I took almost 6 years before we got there successfully. We tried many times before that but it never worked out well for either of us. We finally came to a point where it's okay to play separately everything from next room to next state it no longer bothers us. I personally prefer within 30 - 50 miles so she get's home faster for the "after play" sex you're describing (which I really like too.)
You'll have to find a VERY secure, VERY established, VERY strong couple to fulfill your fantasy. They are out there, my wife and I for example but even though we're open to playing separately are we open to YOU playing with her or me separately? That's a different level of trust. Does it mean no? No. It means "maybe" in time it's a possibility. (I'm speaking hypothetically of course.)
Don't worry your "couple" or "person" will come along. You might also try investigating a subsection of the lifestyle called "hotwifeing" while I know few swingers who are hardcore into only hotwifing, there are quite a few that tip toe in that part of the lifestyle (quick def, she plays he doesn't except with her.) That's the post play joy for you and the play and post play joy for her. Most people just bounce between that and swinging. There are people out there just be patient and don't expect it from any current playmates that you have established rules with, they need to progress at their own speed.
An out of this world (or state) encounter - swinging parties - [quote=UTCPL]The problem we have noticed in Utah is that there seems to be far more wanna be swingers than actual swingers. There are quite a few who think if the girls kiss or show their titties then they have had a great swinging evening. To us it is a lifestyle not a fad & the cool in thing to pretend to do. We almost always avoid house parties & private parties for this reason. In fact we almost prefer finding new couples & singles in a regular club & converting them over to swinging over meeting playmates here because it's easier & usually less drama. Not to mention it helps weed out the wanna be's & the ones who used a 20 year old photo that was taken when they still had teeth or before they put on that extra 125 lbs. [/quote]
Hmmm..sounds like you may be hitting the WRONG house parties...We have had a blast at the ones we have gone to...and no...not just girl kissing..and flashing titties...nope!!!
Looking for Advice - Recently coming back into the LS - Hello!
So I just have a question.
We were in the LS about two years ago.. and since getting back into it, it seems like what we want is not as accepting ( or that we aren't actual swingers). We aren't a full swap couple and I feel like that hinders us from meeting new people and just getting out there.
While I enjoy watching my husband with other women, I have no desire to be with anyone other than my husband.
Is this weird? We have talked to a few couples who just question why were are in the LS at all. They have said that what we are looking for is a "tall order" or that "we aren't actual swingers" which I can understand to a point.. but isn't this site for people also looking to explore their sexuality in a safe place with no judgements?
I would love some feedback or advice if anyone else in a similar situation because at this point I don't feel welcome.
Thank You!
Is this one of your rules? What is it? is it fear? or something - Does everyone feel this way? - This is a subject I often ask people about.
Swingers differ from others because of the sex. If you are looking for "friends" goto a club, join a gym, or goto a group that says FRIENDS. If you are interested in nudity, flirting, swap dating, dancing, etc there are groups for that. SWINGING/SWAPPING is a sport that specifically says "I am looking for people that are not afraid of unbridled sex with not ties" or "We embrace our sexual sides and trust our love enough that it does not intimidate me for him/her to explore"
This falls under the same curiosity as why so many couples are into single females and couples only. is there a trust issue with her having sex with another guy?
Swing Clubs - - We have never been to a swing club. We usually prefer more intimate settings, but I have wanted to see what it is like. Possibly easier than meeting couples online?
What is everyones take on them, and what is the proper ettiquette regarding meeting and approaching people in the swingers clubs.
Also which vegas/pheonix clubs are the best?
Thanks guys!:p
Mrs.T
LDS Swingers Survey - Will any former/active LDS swingers take my survey? - Done
Coming to slc area this weekend - - We agree with SLCCOUPLE. The GSL has it all. Sun, fun, the BEACH. And it's true...you CAN just like float around in it. We used to think it was because it's so salty and shit but it's actually the brine shrimp lifting you up and trying to push you out of the water. They have to live there and don't want no stanky, skanky swingers floatin' around in their living rooms. And if you get one of those cool floating grills from Sky Mall you can just fry up some 'o them shrimp on the barbie while you're floating around, mate. Watch out for brine flies though. They're like the annoying pushy swingers who have too much to drink at a party and just get right up in your face. If you need directions to the nude beach just PM us. It's DEE-luxe!
NEW RIDING CLUB - LOOKING FOR MEMBERS - [quote=COWBOYMISSKITTY]We are starting a new riding club in north west ohio to be know as SRC ( swingers riding club) . Any one in the area that would like to join please let us know if you are interested.[/quote]
Distance be damned - sign me up for a membership.
Las Vegas - Swingers clubs ect. - [quote=Utahldscouple][quote=WOWMAMA69]If you're adventurous there's always The Green Door or the Red Rooster.[/quote]If you mean by adventurous you’ll have PTSD trying to get the images out of your head 😂, then yes by all means go! If you like to watch extremely sexy couples and women have sex and potentially participate, go to flirtslv or playhouselv. [/quote]
What happens at those places? Never been
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