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Translating Personals/Swingers Ads - - HOW TO TRANSLATE PERSONAL ADS:
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish...................................49
Adventurer...........................Slept with all your friends
Athletic................................No boobs
Average looking...................Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful...............................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..............................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure...............Medicated
Feminist...............................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit............................Junkie
Friendship first.....................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................................Annoying
Gentle..................................Comatose
Good Listener......................Borderline Autistic
New-Age............................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......................Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded......................Desperate
Outgoing..............................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.....................................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..........................Certified Bitch
Redhead...............................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque........................Grossly Fat
Romantic..............................Looks better by candle light
Social...................................Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous...........................Very Fat
Height/weight proportional....Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...................Stalker
Widow.................................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. ....................Old bat
--------
MEN'S ADS
40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking......................Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit..............................Banging your sister
Friendship first.......................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun........................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.........................Arrogant
Very good looking..................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Pathological Liar
Huggable................................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle.......................Insecure mama's boy
Mature...................................Older than your father
Open-minded.........................Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................................Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive.................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.........................Gay
Spiritual..................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.....................................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful...............................Says "Excuse me" when he farts
Go turn on Oprah - re:swingers - Looks like that show is on again tomorrow (sat July 1st) around noon. That's 12:35 for us in Utah.
Any Swingers out there? Golf swingers that is... - - Co~Ed Naked Golf! this is the ticket! And made famous by "O" who wrote in "The Sensuous Woman" that, "the special grass they use on golf greens felt so good under her bare skin..." Anybody plundered a golf green?
Swingers cars??? - What ya driving?? - I used to drive this but the cops kept pulling me over. I don't know why. [em]Emo_9[/em]
swinging: It's not for everyone - - [quote=EVILDOERS]Ain't THAT the truth? Swinging is NOT for everyone. Many people it seems are only one or two drinks away from major drama or worse! That's why it's so funny to see the threads from the "vanilla hunters". They think it's way more fun to go out and try to seduce vanillas (cause, hey, everybody really wants to be a swinger deep down, right?) than fuck other swingers, often using copious amounts of alcohol to accomplish their task and effectively taking at least some of their prey's free will away. Hey we're all consenting (with enough alcohol on board) adults. All's fair in love and swinging. Right? LOL[/quote]
Yeah, that's what makes me laugh about most 'pickup artists' seems like a lot of them do most of their work on a half-soused target.
Which Motorcycle Survey? - In the market and want your opinion... - [quote=242]Oh, I have strong thoughts on this subject folks. And I am really doing my homework and shopping very thoroughly. I'm taking my time because I won't be buying until Feb/Mar at the earliest. And I've been watching the Can-Am develop over the past 3 years now. One of our nearby dealers carries them alongside Big Dog Choppers and Suzuki. Interesting line-up. It's not that what others think will make my decision or unduely influence it, but I am interested in reading others' opinions and thoughts to compare to my own. And I'm checking with a few different demographic groups. Let's face it: swingers tend to march to the beat of their own drum more than most folks! LOL I brought up the "cool factor" and image stuff in the context of what our own perceptions are of bike culture. I mentioned that we are cruiser types, not crotch-rocket people. I wear western style riding boots and a black leather jacket. But my jacket has armor inserts, all the modern upgrades, and even reflective piping on a traditional cruiser jacket frame. I wear a Bell military-style open face helmet and goggles. My wife rides a blacked out (Raven) 2011 Star Stryker. So we sort of blend the old w/the new a bit. I guess I'm hesitant about the style change. Thanks for the input and please keep it coming. You're helping me cogitate. LOL[/quote]
Cogitate?
I read somewhere that they've come up with a cure for that in the Netherlands.
Younger couples - How hard is it for younger couples - i think in general there are less younger swingers because many of them havent reached a point where they are comfortable with the notion of "its just sex"
Utah moms (Mormon) TikTok drama - - Curious if anyone here knew these couples? And if they knew they were swingers? Also, PSA…great you and your husband had issues don’t disclose or throw others into the limelight because your marriage failed! Definitely interesting!
https://www.popsugar.com/love/soft-swap-taylor-frankie-paul-tiktok-48840913/amp
Ldscouple74 - Are there any active LDS couples here - Yup, there are. We know several. We were actually sort of semi-active back when we started (And of course lied thru our teeth during bishop interviews.LOL). And we've known at least half a dozen couples over the years who were outed (Usually by other swingers who for some reason decided they needed to confess or were pissed because someone stopped fucking them and decided to "name names".) and exed. :-(
This reminds us of one of our fav swinging stories. We knew a couple who LOVED to party. Almost every single Sunday, after having a LOT of sex Saturday night, they sent us a text to tell us they felt guilty and were quitting the lifestyle. And almost every single Wednesday or Thursday we'd get ANOTHER text asking us where the parties were for the coming weekend. LOL! Sadly, they're divorced now, but it was a running joke about them in the little swinging circle we were active with at the time.
We have heard about it many times........... - Couples that are swingers - Yeas, I have found some of the advice to be helpful too and from that experience and now yours I am learning that even the single male has questions he needs to ask and some checking to do before playing.
Have a happy new year all.
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