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Looking for Advice - Recently coming back into the LS - [quote=Kinkycouple123]Hello!
So I just have a question.
We were in the LS about two years ago.. and since getting back into it, it seems like what we want is not as accepting ( or that we aren't actual swingers). We aren't a full swap couple and I feel like that hinders us from meeting new people and just getting out there.
While I enjoy watching my husband with other women, I have no desire to be with anyone other than my husband.
Is this weird? We have talked to a few couples who just question why were are in the LS at all. They have said that what we are looking for is a "tall order" or that "we aren't actual swingers" which I can understand to a point.. but isn't this site for people also looking to explore their sexuality in a safe place with no judgements?
I would love some feedback or advice if anyone else in a similar situation because at this point I don't feel welcome.
Thank You![/quote]
I think what you are "looking for" is not a surprise... you want a Unicorn... now, asking a couple to "loan" you their female half ( with nothing in return to the other male ) ... yeah, long shot on that for sure.
Good Luck in your search.
Go turn on Oprah - re:swingers - This show is a repeat. she had this on several months ago... I like that she allowed the people to express what swinging is all about.
Swinger Friendly Businesses - Business or services friendly to swingers - I do Lingerie/Toy Home Parties. Girls Night Out, Couples Parties, Bachelorette Parties, Book Parties, Online Parties and more. Contact me anytime here or [email protected]
Appropriate Parameters of Sexual Conduct in Modern Society - Should sex still have a unique status or just be another hobby? - Beard, You did open something up but I'm not sure what.
I had to copy and paste your original here so I didn't miss or get too confused..
One of your last points first: Moral refers to standards as defined by the church, the government or your neighbors(in light of the Supreme Court decission a few years ago about porn) Ethics, on the other hand are something that we define for ourselves based on our upbringing/environment and values that we have defined based on whatever we base them on.
You are right that marriage is a concept designed by religion and the government for the care of offspring and the clear definition of linage for property rights. You use the term marriage, which is a legal term like it is a moral imperative then ask if it should be based on some one or group of common interrests. Then the next breath you suggest that marriage is supposed to be more than any of that and something to do with sharing and intimacy. Finally you go back to somehow trying to make a point, (I'm not sure what that point was) that maybe there should be a conglomerate of reasons for marriage then with the nesxt breath you ask if sex should be forbidden..
Now lets see if this makes any sense to anyone. I'm poly and We swing. I have a lover who is married and her husband knows or us(he is not poly) and B knows of us and we are all good friends. We are, my lover and I, intimate both emotionally and sexually and both non poly mates knowof this. B and I are very much soulmates but then my lover is also very close to that as well. I do not wish to take her away from her husband and I do not wish to replace B. She does not want to replace her husband with me and we are alll OK with that arrangement.
In my heart of heart I am married to both in a very intimate way although I do not wish to procreate with anyone anymore. She feels the same way toward me. I would submit that marriage is an intimate, emotional and sometimes physical union of people.. I did not say two people I said people. We have been taught sex as a negative thing and relationships with more than one as a negative thing because we cannot love more than one person or more than one at any one time... I submit that we can love more than one and that the more we love the more we get back from that...
Swinging is started off as fun between close friends and sometimes the term wife swapping became a reality.... Sex is fun adn swinging is about sex and today alot of times about relationships. Relationships in my opinion are for the benefit of everyone involved... .
So I'm not sure if I understood where you were going but this is my take on the propositions as I understood them.
Depending on any person's opinion or preferences sex and love can be the same or they can be separate or they can be coincidental but it's basically up to that person or couple to make that determination....
We, in the lifestyle, may ultimately be right and marriage may change to a more contractual thing rather than some sacrosanct BS that it has become.... Swingers as a group have more than 3.4 time greater chance of remaining married than that of non swingers. The range of failed marriages is between 66 and 77% in all first and second marriages and some 70% of all married people cheat on their mates. Swinger have a better than 85% chance of marriage survival. Cheating is not exempt in Swinging but I think is is greatly reduced...
I think as swingers we have sex with friends and it can be just that or it can be more... at least for me..
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - Mmmmm...love it! Now I want to try DVP! DP was an amazing orgasm so I can only imagine what DVP would hold in store ;)
Kisses,
Naugh-Ty
More members out east!!! - - [quote=CANUCMEG]Us folk on the East Coast just do not get any respect, we do not even have a ZCMI!...lol...[/quote]
Utah doesn't have a ZCMI either anymore. LOL
And I agree, we need a national member drive. Think of all the fun you can have on vacation/business travel getting to meet other Swingular swingers. :D
Swingers Dares - Text for cards in the game - Mike16 a bit off topic but... loved the very nice landing strip mrcheez favorite....
Missy, nice twist on the game
Black Ring, Right Hand - How to tell if someone's a swinger - [quote=EVILDOERS]OMG! Just had a client walk in and notice my black tungsten wedding ring (I've had one for a couple of years now.) He told me that it I were to wear it on my right hand it would indicate I was gay. [/quote]
There are some gays who wear their wedding rings on their right hands (solidarity against "the man" who doesn't let them marry, etc.) -- but "black" isn't a specific thing in the gay community as far as I can tell from some quick research.
The middle finger on the right hand is apparently reserved for the asexuals. (People who aren't interested in sex). Although given that there are roughly 8 such people in the United States, I wouldn't stress too much over being confused with that community.
If this gets any more complex, we're going to need a right-hand-ring governing body. =)
I view the black-ring on a swinger-looking couple as the final checkbox of "oh.. yup.. definitely swingers... look.. both wearing black rings on the right hand". If I just saw a random person with a black ring on a right finger, I wouldn't think anything of it. I would just like to see it become more of a thing in Utah, like it is elsewhere in the country. =) My wife and I wear ours when we go out together for date-night... otherwise we don't bother with them.
I know none of this will stop folks from screaming and yelling at how ridiculous it is -- But if you ARE going to scream and yell, don't forget to continuously remind as many people as possible how much credibility you have on the matter because you used to swing with the Flinstones.
(On our swingers cruise recently, we DID enjoy the many stories from the elderly about what it was like to swing before the days of the internet... so this thread has become a bit like a free tropical vacation, in that sense!).
Poly ideas - Ethical non-monogamy...I like that label. - [quote=ENLIGHTENED][quote=ERASEDPANTS]A few other "Poly Ideas" we have had...a beach resort for swingers called "Poly Shore". Jeans with special condom holders made exclusively for the lifestyle called "Poly Pockets". A full time art school for swingers run by "Leave it to Beaver's" Tony Dow,called "Poly Wally Doodle all the Day" . The high end grocery store/basketball arena for lifestylers called "Poly Pavilions". But it turns out it was just a slightly nicer "Poly Vons" grocery store/basketball arena. And lastly a white supremisist lifestyle dating site called "Poly want a Cracker".[/quote] So if you try poly and it doesn't work out, do you call it a Poly-Gone?[/quote]
Nice!
Certified Single Male Program - What do you think? - [quote=SEAKINGHER]That is why I think single males need to be broken down into two groups. Those that are polite swingers and those that are just fuckers.[/quote]
Not just single males....people in general.
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