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single males - - Thank you for opening the topic. I hope that it will be used shed some insight and not just complain.
In a place like Habits there are vanilla singles that have no clue that swingers congregate there. So there will naturally be more problem in that environment than a private party.
At a house party the only people that should be there are those that are invited by the host and hostess. Every one of the guests should have known the rules or etiquette of this lifestyle. If you had complaints, they should have been addressed last night with the hosts. Evidently the balance you were looking for was not there.
Sadly it is difficult for most singles to figure out how to talk to a swinging couple. There are no schools or training centers to teach this. As a single male, conversation at a vanilla party with a couple is much easier. Most often the men and women separate and we talk with one or the other without expectations on either side. Sometimes conversation is just conversation.
I find that making friends is generally more difficult in this lifestyle because of the sexual expectations of many. I think that you will find a number of the single men, after getting the cold shoulder from many husbands, find it easier to attempt to talk to the women because they lack the skills to talk with both. It is a mistake but it is also part of the learning process.
There is no excuse for rude behavior on the part of the single male but neither is there an excuse for the typical married male attitude. Single males are always and have always been a pariah and dam few couples want them at any party. I came into this lifestyle as a single male looking to make male friends to hang with that would help me understand the rules. I found most of the males were cold and suspicious and difficult to talk with.
I was not looking for women to play with nearly as much as I was looking for a girlfriend that was already in the lifestyle. But I am sure that as far as most were concerned all I wanted to find was their wife
Perhaps this the answer... - "Sweetie, is that couple looking at us?" - Bracelet, necklace, pinkie ring, secret sign. We all talk about how to spot swingers in normal every day life. Perhaps if we all just bought one of these :)
http://www.engadget.com/2011/12/07/magnetu-connects-you-with-similar-people-in-your-area-because-d/
Seriously though, it would be horrific if one was to run into their boss at a bar who for whatever reason also happened to be carrying one of these devices while yours was set to swing. But none the less, it was the first thing I thought of when I read this article.
fantasy football league free trying to get only swingers in leag - free autodraft fantasy football league - Do you get instructions when you sign up? Total football retard here..
Sexy swingers closer to our age - 20-30 year old sexy swingers - WE are 42m 39f, always open to talking to attractive couples around our age!
Swingers in a vanilla bar... - - In my experience, try to ask an innocent question, as in, 'Have you ben to *insert name of local swing club*?'
can we swing and still not be in sin ? - - Since I've been sucked into the swirling vortex of this thread, the only way I can feel like I haven't been robbed of the last 1/2 hr (give or take) of my life is to add my .02 Ok, I know I could just chalk it up to that which doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, but adding my input seems more satisfying.
I'll start off by saying that if you are doing this much research regarding religions and what they allow or don't allow regarding sexual activity it has to make me wonder if you're seriously considering converting to another religion just to save yourself the guilt of sin brought upon by whatever religion you happen to be at the moment. All religions have been formed and molded over the years by people. People who are not perfect, who have their own agendas. A sense of right and wrong doesn't come solely from religion. Many religions would like you to think that in an attempt to keep you in their camp and they'll be more than happy to tell you what is right and wrong for the rest of your life (in case you can't think for yourself).
But if you have to switch religions just so that you can sleep at night after a fun-filled evening of swinging, you have some other things to figure out. Or perhaps you should just start you're own religion, where you can make all the rules. In any case, I think its fairly safe to say that most religions believe quite strongly that those of us engaging in the swinging lifestyle are sinning by engaging in immoral activities, just cuz they don't use the actual word sin, doesn't mean anything. Its just more politically correct these days to say immoral. In any case though, they most certainly believe that we (swingers) will most definitely be going to a very special level of hell, a level reserved for... (sorry, narrowly avoided an obsure pop culture reference)
As for me, yes I believe there is a God. And one of the few things that I think is accurately stated repeatedly in the bible is to love thy neighbor and I'm more than happy to spread the love around in whatever way/shape is available to me.
-SG
On Premise Swingers Club - SLC - Within the past few days a "church" in Phoenix was raided and the clergy/practitioners charged with prostitution...........there were substantial donations involved.
Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - Interesting - We are mid-valley SLC
How has swinging made your marriage better? - - Communication (REAL communication) is the key but still it's not enough if someone really wants to stray or outright leave. There's been an interesting discussion on another swing site we're on about some of this topic and an old timer on there (who's now divorced) brought up something that we found interesting and that seems to be fairly ubiquitous in the lifestyle. It turns out that most women who have been in the lifestyle for a decent length of time have at one time or another (multiple times for Ms. Evil and some of the ladies we've known for some time) been told by a play partner (more often by a single male or even more often a vanilla guy...lot's of swingers seem to get a thrill out of vanilla hunting I guess) that if they were THEIR partner they would NEVER share them with another man. Think about that for a minute. With the way most women are raised and the messages society pounds into their heads about love, romance, fidelity, etc., how powerful are those words are. In fact let's take a little poll. Are there any women who've been in the lifestyle for, say, at least 5 years and play fairly frequently who have never had a guy tell them or insinuate that? Just curious.
Another Swingers Show on TV - - This September, Discovery Fit & Health delves into a mysterious and daring world in its all-new series, SECRET SEX LIVES: SWINGERS, which follows five all-American couples as they juggle marriage, family commitments and careers. But behind closed doors, these husbands and wives share one surprising thing in common: they all lead double lives as swingers. SECRET SEX LIVES: SWINGERS premieres Saturday, September 7 at 10PM (ET/PT) on Discovery Fit & Health.
Nice! If there are enough of these maybe eventually our lifestyle will become normalized.
Mr. Sexperimentors
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