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How Old Is Old - - In our minds age is a number on your birth certificate & drivers licence. If someone is hung up on your age, they are not swingers. Real swingers are out to have a good time weather or not they get laid is beside the point. If you're looking to just get sex, you need to step back and take a good look at yourself in the mirror.
Swingers - a couples only lifestyle? - Are singles considered to be swingers? - T4 - I thought your response was spot-on (as close to definitive as possible). As other posters have indicated, getting common agreement on something like this is futile. Heck, there isn't even agreement among women as to whether bigger is better. Swinging is in the eyes of the beholder?
Looking to establish a group of safe swingers - - Quite the response.
BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - IMO, you wouldn't explain yourself about your monogamous "vanilla" sex life or activities, so why would you about this?
The subject of this thread was about your kids finding out. I'm not sure what age group of kids we're talking about and that can make a big difference. If they are adult children, you can simply tell them you are sorry they had to find out about it and regret that it makes them uncomfortable but it is your private life and will leave it there...in private. I think it is wise to reassure them that you will not do anything to embarrass them (start acting differently around them or other family members, etc.) and that nothing between you and them will change. Before they found out you were still the parent they loved and this will continue now.
If they are young children, it can be a little more complicated. The questions aren't just about the lifestyle but also about sex since they are probably learning and curious about the topic in general. But, you could keep it very simple (& age appropriate) and explain that sex is something adults enjoy privately and that if they have any questions about sex (emphasis not on swinging) you will be happy to answer.
If they pursue asking about swinging, I would just share that this is something better explained when they are a little older and that honesty and communication are valued so you will try to be as honest as you can be. However, you don't need to go into detail IMO. Often, kids are looking more for your reaction and some reassurance and aren't quite as concerned with the actual "words". They want to know their world isn't being disrupted.
The rest of your post mentioned family members, etc. Again, you would never feel obligated sit around and discuss the details of a vanilla sex life so it isn't necessary to discuss the details of swinging.
You could share that if someone has a private question they would like to ask they can if that's the kind of relationship you have with them. But, you can also add that you will only do so if comfortable.
I might stress or emphasize that you and your partner have an open and honest relationship that you enjoy together. There are a number of factors that go into enhancing that relationship making it so special and that they've stumbled onto one area that you've incorporated/explored. You appreciate that it might not be for everyone and you wouldn't expect everyone to understand but that you sincerely hope they would also be as considerate to not judge the two of you. I might add that while you've tried to be candid when answering their questions, you only ask in return that they respect your privacy and not share what they've learned or discussed with anyone else. Include them into the agreement by explaining that you will extend to them the same discretion they extend to you.
Who knows...one of them may have been curious about exploring the lifestyle and you might just be that one person they feel comfortable asking about it.
At the same time, people can be very judgemental so protect yourselves. However these family members found out...it could happen again if that avenue hasn't been fixed. I'm sorry this got so long-winded and I could write so much more. Whew!!! Good luck with this!
Where are the Midwest Swingers? - - Seriously. I'm a recent college grad, and my guy is still in school, so we can't go traipsing off around the country to meet people. Where are the swingers from Ohio, Indiana, western PA, south Michigan, etc?
No offense to the people on our friends list, but I'm tired of getting all excited to see that we have a new message only to find it's a friend request from someone in freaking Utah. I mean, seriously. Literally everyone I know who graduated from college in 2009 is working a dead end job somewhere. None of us has a career, so even if we were willing to spend the money to travel cross-country for casual sex, we don't have it to spend.
I've visited some other swinging sites, and on many of them, there were lots of ....well, profiles, at least, from Ohio. We've met several couples from one of the sites, even though we haven't swung with them.
WTF?
Invatation to swingers. - open letter against Dr. Phil - Agree'd to each his own ! we are a Very open couple and we play with couples that need to be discreet ! but when it come's to us . We DONT give a Rat's Ass if some dont like us for who we are or what we do ? We Love the Lifestyle and the people in it ! only people who dont get laid enough seem to complain about the Lifestyle ? All we can say is "Go Get Laid" and Clean up your Own Back Yard First !
Now a single male looking for a rebound play - - That or rabid Ferrets.
[quote=PALS4FUN]Yeah, swinging can cause huge pressure on a marriage and totally screw it up. I'm sure that's why most swingers, myself included, would never recommend swinging as a way to "spice-up" a marriage that is having some difficulty. You definitely have to be on the same page as your partner in order to give swinging a go -- and then be pretty damn quick on your feet and adaptable as things get going -- perhaps in a direction that you didn't expect.
I don't get though, why the OP is back here if he's not interested in swinging for the long term or looking for a woman who is interested in it? Seems this OP is more suited for a singles-type site.
And Evil, yes I'd like to see your listing 'cause I'm guessing that at least one of the items involves a douche-canoe going over a large peefall before crashing into a turd log. Or other such silliness, much funnier than what I've just described! ;) Yes ... I know your personality here![/quote]
Going out on a limb... - - I'm not sure that what I am about to say has anything to do with this thread,
but I am beyond pissed right now and I feel the need to vent... so here goes.
Why do single males have a hard time?
On another swingers site, a section of our profile states..
"Please be discreet when sending us a Yahoo instant message."
There's nothing worse then having a message pop up on the screen
that says "YOUR WIFE HAS GREAT TITS ARE YOU INTERESTED IN A HUNG SINGLE MALE?"
While showing off your vacation pictures to visiting relatives, friends, etc."
So what happens.... a message just like that pops up.
I type back and say "Why would you send a message like that?"
"Do you have any clue who is looking at this computer screen right now?"
I get back...
"I'm on [swinger site name] and I like your pics... do you want to meet?"
I point out where it states being discreet on the IM and I add
"What the hell is wrong with you sending messages like that?"
Here's what I get back....
"WELL YOU'RE THE ONE LETTING STRANGE GUYS FUCK YOUR WIFE"
Now we've played with many single guys... and I know that many many many
are really nice and intelligent and mature.... but this one really set you all back
several notches.... It just isn't worth it when I'm clued in to the mind set that
exists among a percentage of you.
Are swingers moral? - Who determines what morals are? - [quote=HELLO_KITTY12984]i like to eat babies. they taste like chickens. and chickens taste like babies.[/quote]
Aw...Kitty, you been listening to Eddie Izzard again?
real members? - - CYBER SWINGERS strike again! We had the same thing happen to us although we only drove 2 hrs this cpl must have exchanged 40 messages with us over a 3 month period they were so excited to meet us in person we showed they didn't! They were supposeably traveling to Florida on vacation we called them on the cell only got a voice mail and never heard from them again! We wish people would just be HONEST when we say we willbe someplace for a meeting we are there or we call before hand to say something has come up never leave a cpl wondering. its a fact of life in this lifestyle we simply try to make the best of it like that night we sat there enjoyed a drink and watched this beautiful blond sing and play the piano then we simply drove home and laughed and said "NEXT"! We have learned to not take the lifestyle too serious its ashame some people continue to play these petty mindgames but we know its a fact in this lifestyle. Ever want to visit North Florida look us up we WILL show up.
Norm&Sharon
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