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A paradigm shift - polyamory - Your thoughts? Here are mine... - Hitting the topic of Poly.... I am poly my wife is not. We swing. I have a lady friend, spice if you will who is also married and her husband is not poly and they do not swing. We, all 4 of us are fast friends and both my wife and her husband have no problem with her's and my arrangement. THey also know that We swing. Now how did that person come into our life.. we met and became friends almost immediatly. I fell in love with her but am sill "IN love with my wife as well. I< we, like to become friends with people before we jump into the sack with them... BTW they both know that we swing. Could I fall in love with another woman, definitely.. Could I fall for a woman who we might swing with....I could and have. No biggy...If she is not into that I understand... Not everyone can handle the situation
Some one mentioned that jealousy are natural.... Only in the sense that by example we are programmed to them, just as we are not "taught " not to eat other people but we kind of get that impression...Canibalism(sp) is not acceptable any more than is marrying ones own sister or brother. Possessiveness is about owning somthing that is not yours to own. No one owns anyone else and especially not their spouse. Is it natural to own a person? I say no. Somehow when people get into a relationship the idea creeps in that says that the other person is your exclusive property. One need to put that aside if one is a swinger. As for jealousy.... Jealousy is a combination of both possessiveness and ones own insadequacies. Maybe one could describe that as fear.. Fear that she or he will meet someone better. Fear that we are not good enough, etc etc etc. So Jealousy is a reaction to these fears and the possessiveness not a true emotion at all. Everyone thinks of Jealousy as an emotion, which it is not.
So polyamory is very possibly with swinging but may purists of poly will say that poly and swinging are difinitely two different things... Maybe but they can exist simultaneously.
Just a note; More than 60% and I've seen figures up to 77% of all married couples, and I'm sure that it extends to LTR's as well...maybe even swingers, are at some time in their life engaged in serial monogamy..; i.e., either cheating or getting ready for the split-up. Isn't this a simpler form of or something like poly? ... THink about that....
Wow What a Party - Black Light party success - [quote=UTFUNPAIR]we had a nice time too but so many peeps and to many little groups so hard to mingle Kathy and Lyle[/quote]
You get that everywhere ya go...hard to not have it happen...just got to be brave and wander from table to table..find someone you know and go from there...or come say hi to us anytime....but at least at 48 you know that everyone there on that side of the bar was there for the party...no guessing if they are swingers like at other venue's....I love that part about club 48...NO GUESSING!!...hehe....kisses
New Swingers Club in Utah - Gauging interest in new club - We would definitely attend, although probably only a few times per year since we are in logan. Would like many of the same things already mentioned and feel $25-50 would be an appropriate entrance fee.
Why so much hate in the swingers world... - - we are looking for friends ,,
the friends i have now,,
we can party & set around , talk, joke.
and whatever.and not worry about what is said
or who said it.
To give you an example our friend Glen got him a new girlfriend
she is spanish, now our friends are people of all colors different
religons, there polish italian, irish, african american, etc..etc..
But Glens new girlfriend is new to the crowd. She been dating him for about 4 months.
Now we don't swing with any of these people, the problem we have is this ,in our
group of friends and Glen is in agreement with this , that we all have to watch what we
say now if we say anything that has to do with spanish people, as in joking,cutin' up,
whatever.she will get mad. If you can't sit around and joke and cut up without anyone getting offended then your not friends. We have tried to discuss this with her, to no aveil...
This is what we are looking for, friends that can get along... without all the other
bullshit that goes on in the rest of the world..
kristy & alton
Windows Tablet vs Ipad? - - [quote=IN2LOVE]The features we like about apple products is if I make a spread sheet on my Mac when I get to my iPad its there same thing with pictures we take on our iPhones they are on my Mac when I get home. No need for USB ports or flash drives there is this thing called the cloud stores everything we need. If you need a keyboard they have accessories like the airbridge. Updates are great and easy done in the background. For us we would pay extra for the quality and ease of apple products before ever going back to a windows platform. Just our 2 cents worth.[/quote]
Tell me more about this "cloud". Sounds like the perfect place to store all of our dirty pictures and videos as well as our correspondence with other naughty swingers that we never ever want the vanilla world to discover. Maybe I should put all my passwords, SS numbers and bank account info there as well. [em]Emo_67[/em]
Donte and bre - Hot swingers - [quote=zugzug]The lack of punctuation in that story made my private parts ache.[/quote]There was a ton of ...!
Swingers on a Cruise - - We're taking a western Caribbean cruise the third week of march. Does anyone know of a forum where people post swinger activity on various cruises? We wouldn't mind meeting some folks for drinks and maybe more while on the cruise.
real members? - - You've struck on an interesting topic. I call them cyber swingers. They are swinger wanna be's . They find the thought of swinging erotic and interesting but they don't have the balls to actually get involved in the lifestyle. They like to hide behind the safety of their computer screen. They'll exchange email with you as long as you're willing or dumb enough to keep writing them. They'll never actually meet you or anyone else. That would be way too personal and would force them to crawl out from behind the security of their computer. Or you ocasionally run into the single guy that has created this fictional "couple". It's all a big game for him. He's just there to collect photos or maybe trick someone into playing with him because his wifes is "unavailable " at the moment. Whatever their game they're all the same because they both violate the principles of honesty and trust that the lifestyle revolves on.
We get email all the time from couples that "have read your profile--think you guys are great and want to get to know you better". That generally sends off alarm bells for us. We'll respond and exchange an email or two. If the other couple doesn't have pics posted or pics of just one of them we ask for additional photos in the first email. Since we have good pics of both of us in our profile we never send any other pics other than those posted. If we get the "don't have any pics of him or he's camera shy or don't have a camera yet" or any one of the other lame excuses we've gotten over the past year or so--that's it--you're done as far as we're concerned. We'll give out our cell phone number right away and tell them to call us or give us theirs and we'll call them. We want to speak to both of them. If we can't because one's not there we'll call back at a more convenient time when we can talk to both of them. If everything seems ok during the conversation we'll make a date to meet at a convenient restaurant or club and take things from there. This seems to work well for us. It tends to weed out the "cyber swinger" right away.
John & Colleen
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - As I state plainly on my profile:
"I'm strictly hetero, but there is just ONE thing ... DVP. I have always wanted to try it, and I think the male to male contact required would be more than acceptable (on a ROI basis, LOL!)." (:-)
real members? - - I think you need to grow a new sense about people. Do you feel confortable with them over the net before you do anything. Do they seem to be real.. Can they spell simple words, is their grammer adult, how do they phrase things. Many times one can ascertain quite a lot by how and what someone says. Then we have kind of an unwritten rules:
1. Talk with people via the medium .. IM... the site we're on email and give no personal info until you feel that the people are at least stable.
2. Don't meet people or find people over an hour or so driving time
3 Meet very informally... We've found that a mall with a food court is a great place to meet. If the other couple fail to show take the misses shopping...
4. Once you meet you can exchange phone numbers or addresses as you feel comfortable doing. Maybe after the informal meeting meet at a local swingers club or dinner or bowling...what ever works to make sure they are a good match....and trustworthy.
5. The fun is open and go for the gold...
As for certifying couples... what does it mean other than there are really 2 people on the other end of that computer unless it is done by your peers who have met and or played with you. Certification is about as valued as is the pictures on a web-site. They could be the people or maybe they aren't who they say they are...
Ray
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