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Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - Our first couple was an other couple, around 50 I think. They were absolutely great in "teaching us the ropes". For our 2 cents, age is a matter of mind, if you don't mind, it don't matter. Get to know the couple before you reject them out of hand.
Tandvplay
Couples Copulating - How the hell do ya match up? - It is the same for probably 85% of us hun. 4 years in the lifestyle and we are still looking for the perfect match up for all 4. Yes, it does happen, but it is not easy to find the right couple and them feel the same way. WAY more times than not, someone is taking one for the team. We have a rule against that, but I am here to tell you that everyone sees something different in everyone.. Very many people get a bit upset when half of the party is very interested and the other half is not. Example: I find a woman at a party very interesting and sexy and she feels the same about me. Well, chances are that my wife or her hubby is not interested. Well, we have been down this road so many times that we just changed our rules to = "OK, have a good time". This sometimes still does not work as the other couple is still in the (COUPLES ONLY) mode... When it hits right and everyone has a great time it makes all the waiting worth it, but until someone lowers their standards you will be part of the 85%.. The other 15% are made up of: We play separately. Everything DOES gel. Hard core swingers and ok, take one for the team.
The hardest part is when someone in the "said 4-sum" is not going there and sometimes people feel hurt. What everyone needs to remember is that we DO THIS FOR FUN and we are NOT all exactly what everyone else wants. DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL...... Remember it's all about fun and excitement. If something doesn't feel right, DON'T DO IT!!!! Just keep on having fun with all the people that share the fun in the lifestyle and before you know it you'll be sitting around the table the next morning talking about how much fun you had the night before....
Young swingers party - sold out, who still wants to party ? - [quote=EVILDOERS](cough*suckup*cough)[/quote]
Indeed. We suck up, we suck down, otherwise you lose that "vacuum seal" and it's just not as pleasurable. Ha!
How would you respond - - Yeah we've come across those cheating singles as well. Either married or have a g/f whom doesn't know. Last SOB story was she had a medical condition and couldn't have sex anymore, however it was ok for him to play as LONG as she wasn't aware of whom it was with. Most recently we had a profile name and description that appeared to be a couple. ID name on other swing-site was " Nicecple4fun " Turns out its a single male looking for a nice couple for fun ... it takes all kinds. We don't feel you did any thing wrong, just the mentality that swingers are cheaters and single guys feel that its pretty ez to poach. We have had several single guys participate with us however we generally meet them at LS events or house parties. Can't really say we've had any luck on any site with a single guy. They attempt to rationalize it away any way they can and feel like they are correct LOL and some just plain rude about it. " he likes fishing and she doesn't ...." wow I guess with that mentality she can take up quilting and cheating too, since I'm sure he doesn't probably like sewing in any form...
Great Article About Swinging! - Great Article About Swinging! - [quote=KARMICSUNRISE][url=http://www.5280.com/magazine/2010/11/sin-city?page=0,1] Swingers Article...[/url][/quote]
There ya go Mav.
Poly-Swingers - Moving beyond FWB relationship - May I recommend a wonderful book? The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures. Written by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy. I found this book very positive, helpful and informative. A wonderful guide to that "evolution" you are referring to. Best of luck!
Pineapple or upside down pineapple - - If they have a hottube they are 100% swingers.
Poly-Swingers - Moving beyond FWB relationship - [quote=BENT]SUMINDYFUN: To attempt to better answer your question, this is what we've experienced/learned in our poly-type relationships...
This is so much more of a complex subject than just a quick "blurb", we like to compare it to guessing a 4 combination lock, you know at least 1 or 2 of the correct numbers... but do you really??? You find out an amazing amount about YOURSELF through this process!
We have seen just about everything emerge, from complete unbelievable bliss to complete unbelievable hurt. However, what we've learned is TOTAL honesty, trust, respect, patience and absolute untethered communication are key! These things can either make or break it and breaking it earlier rather than later is a good thing, because if it breaks later then it usually means one or more people missed one or more of the fore-mentioned items and will cause much greater hurt because of all the time/work that was put in by the others.
BTW, apparently the bliss is much more powerful than the hurt because we keep trying and trying for some reason? Yep, its like a drug and we're addicted! This is why we dont fault any one for not wanting to "step through that door" so to speak. We suggest to any one that they open that door very, very slowly and even walk away for a bit before entering fully.
ABCMAN: You hit the nail directly on the head... from our experiences, social conditioning is extremely difficult for most people to overcome.[/quote]
Thank you BENT! We agree with you 100% on the honesty and communication aspect. We have been so happy in the year we have been with our couple, but there have been some bumps and mis communications along the way. Fortunately we were able to deal with them and learn from them rather well. We realize that a Poly relationship is very complex and risky, but the rewards outweigh the risks for us. Wishing you guys good luck in your search!
Just curious are we the only ones? - Just curious are we the only ones? - The black-ring on the right-hand has quickly become the new "standard" on how to tell if someone's a swinger in public. (No, it's not a sure-indicator, but it's gaining traction FAST in the swinger community -- especially outside of Utah where Swingular isn't so well known, and there's not so much of a swinger-bubble).
- It started off as a discussion on Kasidie a few years ago. (Many people think it's been around longer, but I've never seen any verified instance of it referenced prior to about 5 years ago... would love to be corrected on this with hard proof, however).
- Several swingers bloggers and podcasters picked it up and endorsed it.
- Almost all of the larger online swinger communities are now endorsing it.
- It's even been mentioned a few times on PBTV's show "Swing".
- We recently went on a swingers cruise and saw LOTS of couples wearing them.
It's actually got some real traction..... The great thing is that it's small. It's cheap. It's not obvious to anyone else. It's easy to 'deny' if you ever ARE caught ("Oh.. I just liked the ring..")..
My wife and I both wear them now... But we've never seen them "in the wild" in Utah... We found that they made a great conversation starter.
More Info here:
- http://www.okswing.com/ind..
- http://www.lifestylerings.com/faqs.html
- http://swapfu.blogspot.com/p/black-ring-right-hand.html
Swingular tends to create a little bit of a bubble for us Utah people... since the rest of the country uses other sites. The black-ring concept is trending elsewhere, nationally... and not so much in Utah.
How is it to be in the lifestyle and have small kids. - We are new to the lifestyle. - well we have been in this life style for 4 years now and hav many friends that are swingers tht we dont play with . and they know our kids after we was sure it would been a very safe thing to do. and everybody gets along great . but our kids dont know of our life style .
but when they get od enough to know and ask we will tell em the trueth .
we have even had a cpl come in from another state one time aand they brought there kids
but agian it was a friendship thing and no sex was involved.
we dont make a habbit of doing that . if we havent known a cpl for awhile we dont .
we even had a falling out with a cpl .but when we see them we still talk to them.
we really feel the best meeting for the first timein town ,out to eat . or something like that.
and for the new folks trying out this lifestyle is dont be surprsed if all 4 dont click.
that is alot harder then you think.like we said we have been in this for 4 years and you would think dang 4 years i bet they have been with lots of cpls.
well no 1 full 1mmf and 1 ffm so dont get your hopes up . if it happens it happens
carl and hollyh
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