Shiloh Swingers in North_carolina

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What about the lifestyle didn't meet your expectations? - Preconceptions and disappointment. - I'm home bored, so stop here if you don't want to read a bunch of shite. lol. I think we both entered the lifestyle with some preconceived notions of what the people in the LS would be like, but that was mostly from our limited experience with being vanilla and having LS peeps try to hit on us. It just seemed creepy, desperate and gross at the time. We assumed most of the players would be super aggressive, ready to fuck anyone and have zero interest in relationships outside of sex. Our initial entry was simply to watch and be watched. We quickly learned that there are just as many wonderful people in the LS as out of it. Maybe more. There will always be the outliers, the few percentage on each end of the spectrum that are more extreme, but that happens in any population. Overall, it was a happy surprise. So that would be a negative expectation that wasn't met. As far as things we were hoping would happen or expectation that weren't met, we have very few. But we also went into the labyrinth without really expecting or assuming anything. I don't think we were naive enough to think that this segment of the population was somehow immune from the social characteristics that reveal themselves in any other social class or group. You will always have the "cool kids" the "shy people" the "jocks" the "geeks" the people who classify themselves as the "pity party" and blame the world for their problems. Those things will exist anywhere and should. Swingers are a diverse group of people with a few, maybe very few, common goals. Those goals I think are to meet others with social deviancy and those interested in expanding their sexual experiences or simply to meet new friends. Swinging, in itself, doesn't solidify your beliefs in anything else (politics, food preferences, choice of travel location, or even how or what you are looking for as swingers). I think that is where expectations can fail. If a person goes into a situation thinking, "I/we think "x" so everyone else must think "x" as well", they are bound to be disappointed. I've said this a lot of times, the lifestyle is not black and white. Life isn't black and white. There will be frustrations around every turn if you allow yourself to be duped into thinking your way of thinking is more than just your viewpoint, that it is universal to everyone. I see people complaining of flakes, people who meet once then run away, etc. That's how they roll. That's their truth. It's what they are comfortable with or wanting and who am I to judge. That being said, I don't have to associate with them and hopefully learn how to avoid that situation or become more efficient at finding people with similar interests. The lifestyle is work. Sometimes a lot of work. I think it's foolish to think that it should be easy to find 4 people who all jive. Think about how many people you have dated before settling on the right one for you. And to assume that somehow changes in the lifestyle and that after chatting on kik for a few weeks then meeting over drinks will somehow magically connect you. Ugh. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. But I wouldn't expect it. For others, the thought of any connection past the one-nighter is absurd. Why would you want to make friends with your fuck-buddies? It may be too risky and cause too many emotions. Point is, we are all different and that is what makes the journey so beautiful. And, just a note about flakes, since it is a recurrent theme. Yes, maybe there are more flakes in the lifestyle, but I'm guessing it's specifically related to the nature of the LS. Swinging for some can be very intimidating and frightening. Sometimes the chase is much more fun than the fucking. Not excusing them that do flake, it seems a problem for sure, but I think I understand, at least in part, why it happens so much. There is so much social pressure not to be in the lifestyle and most were brought up without it being the normal way to live. So society is telling us we are wrong, gross, deviant, etc. Add to that the fear of actually getting naked and fucking someone else and it can cause a lot of anxiety in some. When we first started we were petrified to even go the parties thinking it was going to be a fuck/rape fest. lol. Turned out we were wrong but it was a learning process. Lastly, if you are already treading carefully and the couple/person you are supposed to be meeting gives off any bad vibes, maybe flaking is best. It's hard not to hurt someone's feelings and honesty isn't always what happens. I know we have been honest with couples and it turned into a shit-show. Why don't you like us? If you only meet us and give us a chance we can prove we are wonderful. Other's like us, why don't you. It's hard to be honest at times about why there isn't a connection. May flaking be a way to spare feelings? I don't know. There are probably a plethora (Hefe, do you know what a plethora is?)of reasons people flake and some of those my be that they are just douches. But likely there are other people that aren't and are just trying to get out of a situation they are unfamiliar with. Avoid the douches but maybe give those others a second chance. Evil: always good topics you bring to the table. So you think because people like sex they should be good at it? I know a lot of people who love food but suck at cooking. haha. Maybe having too many options on the table can also make people lazy. I don't have to try hard if I know tomorrow is another partner. To some it's the quantity and not the quality. But I can see why the expectation would be there. All in all we really have no complaints. It's been a fascination journey. Some ups, some downs, but always and adventure. We will keep our expectations low, both of ourselves and those around us. Less disappointment that way. I'm going back to sitting in my underwear, drinking a beer and watching TV. Zero expectations. haha. :) Mr. SRO

We thought this was educational and should explain a lot about s - keep an open mind. Swingers are spiders. Each to their own unique ways! - Awesome!

Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - I don

Thoughts about creampies - - I thought that's why swingers love hot tubs, it kills all STD's...

truth dare or double dare - - I have come up with a swingers lifestyle truth dare or double dare game. i am willing to let all have it. that part that sucks it i can afford to do that. I dont know how much i will charge. if anyone is interested i will work on the price. just a couple examples Truth-Where was the most unusual place you have had sex Dare-Unbutton the persons pants to the left with your teeth Double-dare-Everyone put your keys in a hat. Now the person whose turn it is draw a set out of the hat and kiss the owner on the lips I have come up rules and have 72 questions. i am always coming up with more so i will have them ready soon also. post on this forum if you would like the game if you ever feel like the question is to much for you the game has a rule to help so all can play

Party Pics... - Pictures of Swingers Parties etc... - Chilly...

Question - do you talk about other swingers? - Smoke.... It's a fine line, being discreet and wanting to share bad experiences. I think you hit the nail on the head with your 'share with friends' comment. I have a few couples that I spend time with who 'look out for me'. They know that I see single guys and are pretty frank with me when they have a bad experience. In fact, recently, I got an IM from one of them that started, "in your ongoing quest to find the ultimate single man, AVOID _______ at all costs" It was pretty funny. I appreciate these people who look out for me...... you know who you are !!! Better to share the great experiences eh? Enjoy! -Te

Swingers Kickball Society - - Our first kickball game will be this coming Thursday on June 3rd send a message if you want to join the group. Looking for couples.

Yet Another Cheater - - Dayyuuuummmm This ones is getting thick. Nothing like a good hot topic on a cool Wednesday. Cheating = lying = bad. Playing alone Is not cheating. Anyone who wants to dabble in this world is going to run across some unsavory shit. You don’t go to a bikers bar and bitch about there being so many bikers. I’m not saying swinging is the same as cheating but let’s face it we’re dealing with extrarelational sex, lines get blurred. A very pious couple might look at sanctioned swinging and say we’re all fucking nuts. Normal swingers look at a cheater and question hus/her morals. I feel like everyone wants to point their finger down stream and call them assholes. We’ve run into cheaters too, we roll our eyes and move on. Vent if you need to vent but don’t let the bastards (or bitches) get you down. Have fun!

Why the male side of Couples are here...? - I will admit I am hoping to spark some heated debate on this.... - [quote=DELICIOUSLYWET] Frankly if you wrap your self image and your relationship etc., etc., around it and make it a big priority you very well might end up wondering what happened to your life. [/quote] Not that it means much of anything, but this is why I always took exception (with few very dedicated and very successful and very happy exceptions) to people calling this a "lifestyle". Most of the swingers I've met would honestly lose their shit if they made this a big priority. Most of the ones I knew that did so, did lose their shit. And much more.