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Is this one of your rules? What is it? is it fear? or something - Does everyone feel this way? - Don, I completely agree. I'm not suggesting "friends first" folks are wrong. I'm just explaining:
1. Why WE don't use that phrase...and folks often make offensive assumptions about us because we don't.
2. Why WE are always a bit uneasy about contacting couples who DO use that phrase.
FYI, around where we live, we have this whole "lifestyle clique" who run around protesting WAY too much about how friends is all that matters and they aren't in it for the sex at all, and labeling anyone who disagrees with them as "bedpost notchers." Mostly though, the way you get in their crosshairs is by telling one of them "no thanks." So this is a bit of a sore subject for us...as we DID tell a few of them "no thanks" and we aren't about to lie and say we didn't become swingers for the sexual aspects. Duh! LOL
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - roflmao and by the way happy b-day to mrs.Evil
Sexy swingers closer to our age - 20-30 year old sexy swingers - 35 and 33 here. We started out in our early 20's in the LS
Swingers in a vanilla bar... - - Dr. Ziggy...
How would someone approach a couple in a vanilla bar if you suspect (or know from a reliable source) that they are swingers? (And the wife/gf seems to be quite friently.)
STD/STI Testing - - Actually it was closer to 1981 When HIV became aware to the medical community in the US if that is what you meant by that 1989 date. http://www.avert.org/aids-history-america.htm
HIV and HSV are the two nasties that should be of most concern for most swingers as they are incurable and HIV can be deadly. Both are costly in terms of lifelong medications but also in quality of life. They will be with you FOREVER!
HSV can pass by something as simple as a kiss and or oral.
Do clean test results mean something? YEs and No! Mathematically speaking the risk is related to a pyramid factorial equation. Meaning, for each new partner you have that is untested you are basically adding in the risk of not just that one person (Primary) but all the persons they have been with (secondary) and all the partners that those secondary people have been with etc etc.. HIV has been know to take up to 6 months of lag time from exposure to when it shows up on a test but 90 days is normally considered the standard waiting period. So any primary partner you play with who has been with someone in the past 90 days before they were tested still could have given HIV to you.
Granted HIV is rare. But HSV is not!
HSV cant take 2-3 weeks to show up on test results.
70-80% of the population will test pos for HSV as there are many folks who have the mouth cold sore HSV 1. To keep it simple sometimes in the testing HSV 1 really shows up as HSV2.. SO sometimes this means if you do test positive for HSV 2 it is really only HSV1. This is one reason Planned Parenthood will try to talk you out of this 160$ test
One more thing to add. Most people still think as long as they dont have an open HSV 2 genital herpes outbreak they are good to go. This has been found to not be true. There is a relatively new phenomenon recognized in the scientific community called Viral shedding.
http://herpes-coldsores.com/viral_shedding.htm
Another worry that is rare but possible and I know of a recent case where a person gave someone Oral herpes HSV1 to the genital area of another person.
There is also Chlamydia that everyone almost laughs off because a single dose of meds will cure it! The sad thing is if you got CHLAM you could have got HSV or HIV also as they run together. TO explain this if your had a partner that gave you Chlamydia they could have just as eaisly have given you some other things.
SO what is the safest thing to do. No play with anyone other than your main partner.
But if that is not what you wish then:
The safest thing would be for both Prospective couples to stay monogamous for 90 days and then get tested.
This is all true to the best of my studies but anyone please feel free to correct me.
Affair Match - - Very well said Lusty... and many others of you... Its not a matter of judgementalism for I too fall on the perhaps wierdly mystical side that "everything is perfect, there is ultimately no "making right or wrong". However, thats not to say that we dont all have 'preferences'. It just seems wierd to attract cheating spouse lurkers to a dedicated swingers site. Did we ever find out if Swingular has a similar ad on the Married Affair site attracting affair seekers to what they might believe is an "easy hunting ground" for tail?
PS... it is sooo good to hear so many speaking about how important it is to hold a field of Non-judgement and full acceptance. For the record, my opposition to this banner ad reflects my present desire to align myself with with open, honest swingers. In my past I have both been a cheater and played with cheaters. Its nice to have evolved into a fully honest, open marriage and found you all in a community of so many who embrace just how strong, good and honorable this type of relationship can be. Thanks to you all and hope to meet many more.
Member since Jan 1st!
Dave
Playing with \"swingers\" vs \"nonswingers\" - - We prefer not to mix the two sides of our life up! That is, we keep to ourselves that we are swingers with everyone except other swingers. Isn\'t that what \"Discreet\" means? We have only had one couple approach us at a \"non-swinger\" social function and talk to us like we should be getting together with them - all while in front of our real-life friends. When this thoughtless couple left our table, the other 3 couples there asked what that was all about. We actually ignored the question and went right on enjoying our evening -- without any real trouble.
We always talk to each other in private when we are out at a night club and wonder between ourselves how this or that person might be in bed -- but we never act on those impulses. It is our belief that most people would be shocked, but not necessarily in awe about our swinging behavior. Therefore, we do not ask non-swingers to play with us.
Most of the other responses here are right on target. Those that do not have experience with swinging are not really prepared to handle the social/sexual interactions between 3 or 4 people -- hell, most swingers we know (including us) don\'t do a very good job of handling it!
There certainly seem to be alot of very hot swingers to choose from at this website, we wonder why you would have to go outside to find what you are looking for?
What a difference a Gay makes... - Our first foray into the swinging public, not what I expected. - Reading all the posts here and looking at the photos on the profiles make us wish we were in utah.You truely are a lovely lot.
The couple in Spring Hill look good too...And Texas.......stc
We went to a swingers club once..ONCE!!We found it rather cliquy.
We didn't know what to do there,people were wandering off to rooms,we didn't know if we should follow,wait to be invited or whatever.
My wife got more interest than I did(from single guys usually),and being basically shy,I just stood back.Everyone seemed to be chatting and ignoring us.
We travelled quite a way to get to this place,and we won't go again that's for sure.
It seems to us that house parties are the best way to go to meet new people.we tried those with some success.
We once went to a lesbian bar just to see what it was like.I tell you,they were really friendly.People chatted to us,wanted to know where I was from because of the accent.We didn't go to pick anyone up(fat chance for me,they were all gay girls..LOL)But had a great time.
On Premise Swingers Club - SLC - I have been on the receiving end of City attempts at regulation of a club in another state. I believe the only way that one could truely avoid the heavy hand of the morality police is being organized as a church or truely a private club which whould require some form of selection process of club members. Even this would not keep you out of trouble, only grant you leverage in court.
There is a case law study avaialable that can give you some overview of the current case law. http://www.moralityinmedia.org/nolc/caseStudies/swingersPack.pdf
Renting a location per event is likely the best way to avoid problems. However I know how hard it is just to setup a dance on a per event basis, an on-premise event would be much more work. The effort may be worth it, especially if you have a lot of people to help.
One way we made this work was a once a year event where we rented out a hotel during the off-season. The innkeeper was very comfortable with us being there and we were the only people that could get a room that week-end every year. We had the full use of the convention center and the swimming pool.
Breaking the 4th wall - meeting a swinger in a vanilla situation. - [quote=FUN4MWF]Rather than jump on the bandwagon and agree with everyone all teenie-bopper style, I'd need more info. Did you articulate in your email EXACTLY who you are, as in your real name and job and how you knew them and the specific circumstances that allowed you to recognize them?[/quote]
Basically my e-mail was:
"Hi, I'm James, the male half of Blueidkat, I work as a sales rep for a national beverage company and consequently call on a lot of retail locations along the Wasatch Front. The other day I was at Blah business in Blah City and noticed someone who looks a lot like you. I know with all the swingers in Utah I must bump into some, everyday, and not realize it. It was so cool to possibly recognize a lifestyler out there in the vanilla world and just wondered if I was right."
I understand the whole fear of being stalked and the need for anonimity but are we that afraid? Do we need to be?
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