Hurley Swingers in New_mexico

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A paradigm shift - polyamory - Your thoughts? Here are mine... - This is a big big topic... good one. It is true to say that an amazing thing about being human (thank any God figure you'de like :)) is that we have an INFINITE capacity to love. It is most obvious in women but exists in us all. I understand all of the comments about walking a path together, finding the one and only, etc and that is a great way to live but the fact is, we can love more than we do. We can choose to want to be with a certain person more than any other but we can love many. The easiest way to show this is that when a child is born they make the parents feel as if they could never love like they do this first beautiful child but when others come along what we experience is an expansion of our capacity to love. It is limitless. As mothers and parents can love many children so can we all love many others. We dont need to, some dont want to, but some feel it is a natural and Godly way to live. The biggest obstacle to it is jealousy or feelings of ownership which Swingers have largely learned are "lower thinking" attributes and, at least as far as the physical goes, they are beyond jealousy etc (of course I mean the healthy ones). Big Love is a real deal. It scares many people, even swingers but it is the next and logical progression in the more enlightened thinkers out there, which many swingers are. We swingers have at least tackled the threat that comes from "physical" sharing but many are scared to death to hear their loving sharing spouse express feelings of love for another man or woman. A great book on this topic is "The Future of Love" by Daphne Rose Kingma. It's excellent. Im sure this idea (polyamory) is not for everybody but it is natural and can be as rewarding and freeing as swinging is I'm told...(Jealousy, guilt and ownership are unnatural 'learned' behaviors). I already know I cant be 'everything' to my loving partner but am I strong enough to allow her "love" someong else? Oh wait... is that really my decision? Thats my 2 cents... Dave

Too old ???? - - I am calling it the way we have seen it. We both started playing around in lifestyles just under 40 years ago. The computer and internet wasn't that big a help, you had to find people at bars and clubs and places couples were known to hang out. You really walked gently then but word didn't travel as fast so you could maintain anonymity much easier. With chat rooms on the net and websites just for lifestyles, it became easier to meet people but also required more caution. We had a blast meeting couples, making friends and exploring all kinds of lifestyle activities. Cyn was a doll and always being chased. I guess I wasn't too bad either since I was never left out. Under 10 years ago we took a break. During that time most of our favorite clubs went away, the news media made big issues about swingers, alot of our friends moved, died or divorced. We decided to try getting back in because we missed the friendships with a more open feeling, not necessarily the sex. We came back in our early 60's, just a few years ago. We changed physically, gained a little weight, went grey, lost some hair... most of the things that happen about now. We posted some nice current pics, updated our profile honestly and waited. A few nice gentlemen responded to Cyn, but even then, it was lean pickings. My opinion is that we are all selfish animals, including Cyn and I. There is nothing more exciting than a hot, tight young body. The physical attraction fades as we wrinkle, expand and change. Finding other couples becomes difficult and very selective. Putting up those bigger numbers on our age does not help. Posting honest pics is a double-edged sword. While it's good to be honest it also deters people away. We have found meeting people whenever possible makes the best connection, the way it was in the beginning. When you let people meet you, learn what they are really like and they see what you really are, the relationship seems to solidify quicker and without having to fake it in any way. Its hard, miserable and frustrating after all the fun we had in younger years, but our bodies aged, not our minds. Good luck.. a good friendship is worth the effort.

friday night - whats everyone doing - Drinks games pool hottub bedroom fun :-) anyone have a pool or hottub :-) not just another night at a bar listening to drunks trying to sing lol. Swingers party at the bar however is always good. maybe BBQ with some drinks and a fire pit. Throwing ideas out there :-)

Age - New to the swingers community - is age a factor in how a couple is viewed? - We tend to focus more on an overall package deal, rather than choosing to focus on one parameter specifically, such as age. Personality and intellectual attraction combined with levels of physical attraction sometimes make the issue of age a moot point. Black and white generalizations are something we prefer to avoid when referring to those we encounter in the lifestyle, i.e., younger ones are always too immature or clueless, older ones have no stamina, etc. Diversity within the swinger community is too great to even attempt such broad categorizations. Besides, what potential fun/friends are we missing out on because of that? Honestly, we have found younger couples to far exceed their years in relative wisdom, often surpassing those that are well above their age group. Inversely, my wife and I will outlast most party goers ten years our junior. Alright...'nuff rambling. :) ~J~

swingin - thought this site was a swingers site - That's really funny. I thought every forum was about talking about lots of different things from lots of different people. At least, the one's I've checked out are. Nobody is forcing you to read the "non-swing" talk, noboby is even asking you to. If you're scanning the forums and you don't like the topic, pass it by. It's pretty simple. I can't count the number of threads I've personally ignored. I like the threads where people are expressing their views on various things, simply because it's alot easier to see their views than it is to email and ask "hey, what are your thoughts on (insert topic)." It helps me decide if the people are someone that I'll be able to carry on a conversation with. If a person can't stimulate me mentally, there's no chance of them stimulating me sexually. Mrs. Perverted

International Swingers Day - How are you celebrating? - [quote=ASHY][/quote] I guess it's the main night tonight. It doesn't seem to be a big thing in Utah.

Swinger and/or Polyamorous FB Groups? - - I have heard there is a Utah swingers group but it’s a secret group so I’ve yet to find it. Essentially need to know someone in it in order to get in. Hopefully someone on here is in it!

The thin line in the sand. - Where does "cheating" begin? - I wrote this somewhere else...but hopefully it fits here. "Fidelity. What is it? Most of you (some of you) might think I'm gonna come off as a hypocrite on this one. But please, bear with me. Fidelity is a key issue with me in relationships. It's one of the only lines that exist that is an instant kill switch. I've been in relationships where I've had to pull that switch and watch the bodies fall. Then again, I look at the insane stance I take in my "Sexual Play" life. Swingers. Kink that plays with submissives. Dangerous, flirtatious chat. Both Domme and I have regular communication with past lovers. Yet...faithful. How does that make sense you ask? Even when "Swinging" or involved in Kink "play" we always play together. Our communications are open. And in the end it all comes down to one very simple thing. Trust. So where does that leave Fidelity? As a personal choice between two consenting adults." That's my line...hope it helps! -Mr. K_T

Swinging/Polyamory - I just wanted to hear other people thoughs on this....... - Posted By: XPLORR94248 Reply posted on: Nov 10, 2007 - 12:11 pm Poly people generally take issue with swinging as be strictly recreational SEX! and no love where as poly, supposedly, is love based not necessarily any sex....but sex usually is involved at some level. The attitude is that swinging is not a good thing that swinging is diametrically opposed to poly. So while there are some similarities in swinging and poly in that more and more swingers are looking for relationships, i.e., "friends with benefits" ; "Friends in and out of the bedroom". These friendships are based on attraction and sex after the attraction. Poly people take the concept that poly is based on loving someone and if sex happens then OK, but that love is the key and sex is at best secondary. I would say that swinging (full swap, soft swap) IS recreational sex. It ISN'T about falling in love with someone. That poly people would think swinging is bad because it is diametrically opposed to poly doesn't surprise me one bit. Kinda like me being a Grand Dragon of the KKK thinking that people who even can think of having a relationship with a black person are sick in the head. To a poly person, the only difference between them and a "normal" person is that they have more than one person with whom they have love in the relationship. "Normal" people also think spouse swapping is a bad idea too. Again, no surprise. I would say that swinging and poly have only one similarity and that is that they are having sex with somebody that they are not legally married to and the spouse is fine with it. Beyond that, I don't see the similarities.

Swingers of Color - - I have me a hot asian man! It was my idea to begin trying new sexual encounters, but it was him that signed us up with a bunch of sites and leads the way when it come to meeting new people. B