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BUSTED! Your Kids Found Out Your Swingers. Now What? - - IMO, you wouldn't explain yourself about your monogamous "vanilla" sex life or activities, so why would you about this?
The subject of this thread was about your kids finding out. I'm not sure what age group of kids we're talking about and that can make a big difference. If they are adult children, you can simply tell them you are sorry they had to find out about it and regret that it makes them uncomfortable but it is your private life and will leave it there...in private. I think it is wise to reassure them that you will not do anything to embarrass them (start acting differently around them or other family members, etc.) and that nothing between you and them will change. Before they found out you were still the parent they loved and this will continue now.
If they are young children, it can be a little more complicated. The questions aren't just about the lifestyle but also about sex since they are probably learning and curious about the topic in general. But, you could keep it very simple (& age appropriate) and explain that sex is something adults enjoy privately and that if they have any questions about sex (emphasis not on swinging) you will be happy to answer.
If they pursue asking about swinging, I would just share that this is something better explained when they are a little older and that honesty and communication are valued so you will try to be as honest as you can be. However, you don't need to go into detail IMO. Often, kids are looking more for your reaction and some reassurance and aren't quite as concerned with the actual "words". They want to know their world isn't being disrupted.
The rest of your post mentioned family members, etc. Again, you would never feel obligated sit around and discuss the details of a vanilla sex life so it isn't necessary to discuss the details of swinging.
You could share that if someone has a private question they would like to ask they can if that's the kind of relationship you have with them. But, you can also add that you will only do so if comfortable.
I might stress or emphasize that you and your partner have an open and honest relationship that you enjoy together. There are a number of factors that go into enhancing that relationship making it so special and that they've stumbled onto one area that you've incorporated/explored. You appreciate that it might not be for everyone and you wouldn't expect everyone to understand but that you sincerely hope they would also be as considerate to not judge the two of you. I might add that while you've tried to be candid when answering their questions, you only ask in return that they respect your privacy and not share what they've learned or discussed with anyone else. Include them into the agreement by explaining that you will extend to them the same discretion they extend to you.
Who knows...one of them may have been curious about exploring the lifestyle and you might just be that one person they feel comfortable asking about it.
At the same time, people can be very judgemental so protect yourselves. However these family members found out...it could happen again if that avenue hasn't been fixed. I'm sorry this got so long-winded and I could write so much more. Whew!!! Good luck with this!
dancing - - According to the rumor mill, Habits is where the swingers go to go clubbing. My wife and I usually go social ballroom or swing though, when we go out dancing.
San Diego Swing clubs - - We are headed for San Diego in a few weeks and are looking for some good swingers clubs. Does anyone have any suggestions???
swingers resort - - We are told there is a swingers resort just outside of Palm Springs has anyone attended there and what age group attends there
UFO's - Your Opinions Please... - Being one of those that firmly believe that with all that open space up there it would be a terrible waste to be truely all alone.
I have seen in my life things that I can not explain, I am hoping that when contact is made that i am one of the first to make their greeting.
Or...........................we may already be here watching your kinky swingers parties and your highly erotic couple and are just waiting to make our move???????
Other Swinger sites in Utah - Anyone tell us of other sites? - [quote=SUENDAN]Here are the sites we use and our username there. Look us up and we'll show you around (couples only)
swinglifestyle.com
2NParadisse. They offer lifetime membership. One of the best sites ever for USA and Canada, eh?
aff.com
2NParadisse and DanNSuzy. If you sing up as a couple your membership will turn into a gold membership after about a month. Don't spend your money there on memberships, just wait until your profile turns into a gold profile and you'd have access to everything. We've been there since 1998 lol. Still a very good site, always evolving and we meet new people there often. Met our first couple there. Good globally also a few profiles from Mars.
sdc.com
FlorDCanela. I think this site is best for the East Coast. We meet people there occasionally. U have to pay.
kasidie.com
2NParadisse. not our cup of tea but sometimes good for party info. Some people in SoCal swear by it.
reddit.com the swingersr4r and other subreddits
FunMachina. We had been super lucky there for over a year meeting couples in their 20's lol. This is a free and unexploited gem.
In Spain we used onswingers.com
FlorDCanela. very good but limited to Spain and is in Spanish.
UK/Europe c4fonline.com - not so good for us when we were in Spain.
fling.com some people contacted us from there once.
Locanto.com kinda like what CL used to be. Not much going on there. Weirdos.
https://www.newbienudes.com/ has some potential. I just have not looked into it yet because we always have something going on when we decide to get out and play.
Regular dating apps like tinder, kindle.. you can open a profile of your lady seeking other ladies, just say that you are married and hubby wants to join too. And then... Bingo! You entered the Unicorn Realm!
Also non website nor non swinger party contacts:
Just take your lady to a strip joint and have her make friends with the girls. This works good in SoCal where girls are less professional. Could work in Vegas but good luck, they are real hustlers there.
Also, the wife and I were on a non-swingers date the just 2 of us, went to have a beer and play pool. This other couple was checking us out. We started chatting normally and pleasantly. The girl told me my wife was very cute. So, I told the girl, "my wife just said the same about you, how funny!" Ended up MFMF later at their place.
UPDATES: Lifestylelounge.com: use it if is free. otherwise not worth a penny. old profiles, abandoned page.
trueswingers.com review coming soon.
bisexualplayground.com met a couple there once. Not sure if still up.
alt.com seen it looks like whips and chains stuff.
Gone but not forgotten:
Craigslist Personals. Those were good to meet couples but tons of weirdos.
SwingDater.com met a long term couple there.
playersxchange.com a buddy's site. gone.
swingerads.com
We don't do much apps. [/quote]Wow how do you manage being on all those?
Dental dam, opinions, thoughts and the like - - Been doing this north of 25 years now and have NEVER seen a dental dam used. EVER! Met all kinds of people with all levels of comfort as far as STD awareness and prevention is concerned and still no dams. I think most swingers (and the vast majority of vanilla people actually) are very good at denial. Bottom line, if you swing you are engaging in risky behavior and you, on some level, need to be aware of that fact and okay with it. Oh, and Sir Newby, if by highly selective and picky you mean not fucking anyone but your significant other then I agree. If you mean anything else then I'm sorry to say that you too are in denial.
Game ON....which sign is Hornier...(is that a word?) - zodiac signs of swingers? - another scorp:D
Swingers In Uniform - Pay your memorial day respects here. - i would love to thank all who support thier military members! as a sailor in the united states navy and have been for 18 years i wouldn't trade anything for the things i have done during my naval career! not only does the military protect our country wew also do other things that people don't see or hear. we have gone to all parts of the world and we help the people of that country. i hvae been to very poor countries and we go there with supplies and we help re build thier cities. i have been on many humanitarian operations. i would also like to say a prayer for all our military members who are ofer seas and for all of those military members who have fallen for our country. and i'm glad to hear that they are sending up a bill to stop protesters at military funerals. i really can't believe that there are people out there who are happy about fallen soldiers. just remember everyone in our military are people who have joined by their own choice to defend our great country not like other countries where it is mandatory to serve in the military. i work at navy basic training (bootcamp) and i see these 18 year old's who have decided to join and do something for thier country. i know alot of you do not support the war but i'm not asking you to support the war but to support the men and women of our military!! well i guess that is all. i hope you all have a great memorial day weekend!!
BDSM and Swingers? - Where does BDSM fit in the swingers' world... your thoughts and experiences? - Our experience (almost 30 years in the lifestyle) is that the kink community and the swinging community don't mesh all that well. Sure there are some swingers who are into BDSM but by far most people who practice BDSM aren't swingers and more than a few actually look down on swingers (funny, if you think about it) for having consensual sex with multiple partners (with or without whips and chains).
We've dabbled in very light BDSM a time or two and found that it DEFINITELY isn't our thing and other than maybe a little spank on the ass during doggy style sex it isn't the thing for about 99.9% of the swingers we've met.
But look around a bit and you'll find a few swingers who like to play act BDSM on occasion and perhaps even a few who actually practice it as a lifestyle along with their swinging.
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