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Translating Personals/Swingers Ads - - HOW TO TRANSLATE PERSONAL ADS:
WOMEN'S ADS
40-ish...................................49
Adventurer...........................Slept with all your friends
Athletic................................No boobs
Average looking...................Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful...............................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..............................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure...............Medicated
Feminist...............................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit............................Junkie
Friendship first.....................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................................Annoying
Gentle..................................Comatose
Good Listener......................Borderline Autistic
New-Age............................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned......................Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded......................Desperate
Outgoing..............................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.....................................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional..........................Certified Bitch
Redhead...............................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque........................Grossly Fat
Romantic..............................Looks better by candle light
Social...................................Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous...........................Very Fat
Height/weight proportional....Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate...................Stalker
Widow.................................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. ....................Old bat
--------
MEN'S ADS
40-ish.....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking......................Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit..............................Banging your sister
Friendship first.......................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun........................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.........................Arrogant
Very good looking..................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Pathological Liar
Huggable................................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle.......................Insecure mama's boy
Mature...................................Older than your father
Open-minded.........................Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................................Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive.................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.........................Gay
Spiritual..................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.....................................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful...............................Says "Excuse me" when he farts
Birds of a Feather - Finding couples that share similar interests - AFTERWORK,
I guess that was the point. What does religion have to do with swinging? Are you not seeing how many of the flock or "birds of a feather" have strayed from the traditional path of christianity? A path that the christian bible forbids. It's perfectly understandable that your post would cause such a conversation to occur.
Don't get me wrong. I am in no way judging you. I am just saying that I can see how some would question your loyalty or dedication to a religion that strictly forbids adultry. I could give a fuck, because that is up to the individual and their deity or dogma. I don't think it is for anyone to judge, just as you should be comfortable with no one taking your dedication to the faith seriously.
The bottom line really is, do you care what others think? If not, why try and find commonality in "back sliders" amongst swingers? Do you need the comfort of others that are taking the same journey away or astray? I think those are the questions that peak when these types of threads are born. Again, I really could care less about the level of your faith. As I am in no way a religious person.
I would like to thank you for giving us something worthy of discussing though. Yes, it has been brought up before, but then again, so have the oral exams via the vagina picture threads. LOL! So again thanks for the spur. It was starting to get bland again.
-Don-
can we swing and still not be in sin ? - - Since I've been sucked into the swirling vortex of this thread, the only way I can feel like I haven't been robbed of the last 1/2 hr (give or take) of my life is to add my .02 Ok, I know I could just chalk it up to that which doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, but adding my input seems more satisfying.
I'll start off by saying that if you are doing this much research regarding religions and what they allow or don't allow regarding sexual activity it has to make me wonder if you're seriously considering converting to another religion just to save yourself the guilt of sin brought upon by whatever religion you happen to be at the moment. All religions have been formed and molded over the years by people. People who are not perfect, who have their own agendas. A sense of right and wrong doesn't come solely from religion. Many religions would like you to think that in an attempt to keep you in their camp and they'll be more than happy to tell you what is right and wrong for the rest of your life (in case you can't think for yourself).
But if you have to switch religions just so that you can sleep at night after a fun-filled evening of swinging, you have some other things to figure out. Or perhaps you should just start you're own religion, where you can make all the rules. In any case, I think its fairly safe to say that most religions believe quite strongly that those of us engaging in the swinging lifestyle are sinning by engaging in immoral activities, just cuz they don't use the actual word sin, doesn't mean anything. Its just more politically correct these days to say immoral. In any case though, they most certainly believe that we (swingers) will most definitely be going to a very special level of hell, a level reserved for... (sorry, narrowly avoided an obsure pop culture reference)
As for me, yes I believe there is a God. And one of the few things that I think is accurately stated repeatedly in the bible is to love thy neighbor and I'm more than happy to spread the love around in whatever way/shape is available to me.
-SG
How to find other swingers - - MissyVern
I think I read that the wristbands glowed under black light? Please consider having single straight males wristbands say something like :
Remember, put her desires first
or nice guys finish first
or ask not what the couple can do for you, but what you can do for the couple
Just a thought. Why not groom single guys into what you'd like them to be?
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - [quote=ISSUE152]The couple times I've done it, I've had such a better time the more I knew the two guys, and j had that comfort level, that being said, I'm moving back to Utah and hopefully getting back into the swing, of things if anyone will have me?[/quote] We would love to have you
Alex - New to the lifestyle looking for my first encounter into couples and single females - "I just don’t understand how single guys can be swingers" Like this, DUH! ;-p
[img]https://www.coolest-homemade-costumes.com/files/2017/01/coolest-half-man-half-woman-costume-8-21577066.jpg[/img]
Girls that are into DP - How common is this activity among the swingers? - Thanks for the responses, I understand why it would take that extra comfort. Hopefully I can find that lucky lady one day soon!
Invatation to swingers. - open letter against Dr. Phil - Below is a copy of my post to Dr. Phils boards concerning the evils of swinging.His mods would not let it be posted as written. Gee I wonder why.
I considered addressing this post to Dr. Phil, but as I do not think he really cares what anyone other than himself thinks, feels, or believes anyway, I will simply post it. The last time I checked, Dr. Phil was a man not unlike any other. He does not possess superhuman strength or any other ability. He is simply a man.
It is not responsible, In My opinion, to ever assume that ones beliefs are the only, or correct beliefs. There is a huge difference between believing something and knowing it to be fact and Dr. Phil, again, just my opinion, lets himself forget that.
I would not be upset if Dr. Phil said,
KUTV News Story on Swingers - News - P.s. Poor little fat girl that realized that your husband was sick of you eating Bonn-bonns and wanted to spice up your life. Don't blame the lifestyle on your actions. Only you can ruin your marriage!!!!! We are free spirited people that love interaction with like minded souls. If you got an STD out of it, you meet the wrong peeps and forgot to wrap up
FAKES CERTIFIED AS REAL!?!?!?!? - HOW DO WE GET RID OF THE FAKES? - We also have been talking with her - or him, apparently.
Maybe the rules need to be adjusted - whoever certified this freak should have their certification priviliges taken away.
I also spoke with his ex-girlfriend - poor girl, she really has had a hard time with this. This guy gave out HER contact information - she was getting calls and texts from swingers, not knowing what was going on.
Hopefully, the admin will address this accordingly!
A&K
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