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The vent! - Judgements, I'm so tired of them. - On judgments:
My wife and I were in the lifestyle for many years. She died 5 years ago of cancer and was the love of my life. It has been very hard for me as we were married for 34 years. Many of our friends were swingers because, as others have found, those not involved in the lifestyle often have negative judgmental attitudes. We made many friends.
After she died I was supported by my friends but I was no longer invited to parties. For a while that was fine because I wasn't ready. But since I've tried to renew my lifestyle activities, I've found that I am no longer welcome. Why? Because I'm a single male. Forget that my wife and I were involved in the lifestyle up in Seattle, forget the many times we hosted parties at our house, my wife's death made me a pariah to other swingers.
I really do not understand this. I'm still the same person. I'm discrete, clean, disease and drug free, I'm not pushy and no always means no. I guess I do not understand why all of a sudden I'm no longer welcome at parties i used to attend.
Yes, many people not in the lifestyle judge those of us who are. But a large number of people in the lifestyle are just as judgmental, only they pretend that they are not.
How to find other swingers - - Since colored wrist bands are already in use by kids letting each other know who far they have gone, sexually, it would or could make kids think that mom and dad are having sex or something.... We all know that parents do not have sex..... Right? I made an innocuous comment about sex one time and one of my daughters. She said that that was more than she ever wanted to know... I think it had to do with the fact that she came out as a lesbian and I said something, an old joke about we both had something in common.... now. That was more than she ever wanted to know.. I though it was rather funny at the time...
So think about the possibility that a guy might be telling the world that he gave a BJ just by the use of a colored wristband or that mom went down on a female....
Club 90 party - - We've deleted all our public pics from our profile on this and other sites. It is the only safe thing to do.
After working in the advertising and public relations field for many years I can unequivocally tell you that KSL has already determined the story they are going to write, and they are only going to the party to find supporting evidence of it. It doesn't matter what you say, they will edit out what doesn't fit the outline for the story that was agreed upon in a programing meeting and keep the stuff that does. Ever heard someone say "that's not what I said, they took my comment out of context!"
What story is this?
Sex and Wife Swapping in Your Neighborhood!
Wife Swapping... What About the Children!
Swingers... They Could Be Your Neighbor
And I could go on and on with possible headlines.
Never have I seen any positive spin put on the Lifestyle by the media. Sex and scandal makes ratings with produces ad dollars. And this fulfills both criteria in one story. Do a Google News search on swingers and see how many positive stories you come up with. I guarantee it will be 99% negative.
KSL isn't going to tell a story of how swinging can bring a couple closer and strengthen an already good relationship. They aren't going to show how 79% of swingers report their marriage as "very happy" as opposed to 64% of the general societal survey (GSS), or that only 1.7% of swingers report their marriage/relationship to have become "less happy" after starting to swing. Or that 57% of swingers list marriage as "very important" in their life as compared to 51% of the GSS. They are not going to show that swingers are slightly more likely to be part of a religious organization the the GSS (72% compared to 61%).
These are not facts that will support the sensationalist story they want to produce. They want to show wild sex orgies and broken marriages.
It doesn't matter if they agree not to show faces or not (they won't due to legal ramifications). Like xxxtasy and others have mentioned it will cause a huge spike in traffic to this and other swinger related websites by every "concerned" (read: nosey) Utahn scouring the sites for a neighbor like they're searching a sex offenders database. I guarantee there will be a spike in free members for a month or so after the segment airs. The women will want something to gossip about at relief society and the men will want to know who to hit on in their neighborhood in the chance they'll get lucky because you know... their wife isn't a freak like that and since you're a swinger you'll do anyone, anytime right? Just like in the porn movies?
And the club? Club 90 is only a "swingers club" once or twice a month. People who go there during the other 29 days in the month will recognize the decor and will be "scouting" from now on. You'll have every guy looking to get lucky going to Club 90 in the off-chance he'll meet a swinger.
I'd recommend being on your best behavior if you do attend the party. They think they are going to see flesh and dirty dancing. They need to see that these parties are not that, but just like going to any club on any given night; the difference being nobody's getting in a fight because someone looked at someone else's significant other.:p
Swingers Party - Doesnt mean who ever is there is open to everyone elsa - you should not avoid the clubs but the idiots there instead.we went to halloween party and an idiot grabbed my wife's ass i told him if he did it again i would throw him off the stairs and we were down stairs.having gotten his attention i then explained proper etiquette at a swing club some people just think that every one is there for their enjoyment because they paid to get in
Phil
What's in Southern Utah? - - no that just sucks for you my wife has the problem of turning strait people into swingers LOL
New Relationships - - [quote=EVILDOERS]Yep. Swinging is couples centric. If there weren't couples what would swinging even be? Hooking up. But there are plenty of couples who also like to add the occasional single to the mix. Hell, some even play that way exclusively. As far as single swingers meeting each other to form relationships (if I'm reading you correctly) that's a much tougher row to hoe. We've seen a few singles become couples over the years but they're in the minority unfortunately. The lifestyle is a tough place to date and find love for many reasons. Many couples WILL give you more than a casual look if you indeed have a regular play partner that you can bring to add to the mix. Otherwise you'll just kind of have to resign yourself to the plight of a single guy in the lifestyle. Sorry, life isn't always fair.[/quote]
This ^^ it isn't always about "hooking" up. Sometimes it's about having open-minded friends that you can just hang with, sometimes it's about treating your significant other for their birthday... but we all know, she runs the show, if she's not into it, nothing is happening!
Kik group for UT swingers. - Contact me if your interested in joining a KIK group for Swingers - Boulder0622 -we’d love to join! Brand new and excited to get to know more people.
New Yorker Shutting down - - [quote=Utahldscouple]But that would be “taking the moral high ground” and “hypocritical” because we are swingers we can’t have standards or morals! Yes everyone has a line and it’s ok to have that line, but when the ATF or other federal agencies get involved we are out. Call us hypocrites.[/quote]
Wouldn’t you have to be “in” in order to be out? 😂
Swingers gone bad?? - - We agree these people are not swingers and should not be even close to the class of swingers.
Now a single male looking for a rebound play - - That or rabid Ferrets.
[quote=PALS4FUN]Yeah, swinging can cause huge pressure on a marriage and totally screw it up. I'm sure that's why most swingers, myself included, would never recommend swinging as a way to "spice-up" a marriage that is having some difficulty. You definitely have to be on the same page as your partner in order to give swinging a go -- and then be pretty damn quick on your feet and adaptable as things get going -- perhaps in a direction that you didn't expect.
I don't get though, why the OP is back here if he's not interested in swinging for the long term or looking for a woman who is interested in it? Seems this OP is more suited for a singles-type site.
And Evil, yes I'd like to see your listing 'cause I'm guessing that at least one of the items involves a douche-canoe going over a large peefall before crashing into a turd log. Or other such silliness, much funnier than what I've just described! ;) Yes ... I know your personality here![/quote]
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